Shadowgazes

Hi there! I'm Eli, a goofy goober who has absolutely no idea what he's doing. Pronouns are he/him and I'm minor so NSFW blogs DNI.

[eli-after-dark]

Introduction Post!

Created: Aug 1st, 2025

Last Updated: May 9th, 2026

Hey! I'm Eli. I'm a little dude who hangs around the tword community. I'm aroace, I use pronouns he/him, and I love making new friends! (but I'm also really shy and don't really know how to speak to people so uh... yeah...)

↓ Alr here's some other things about me ↓

I looove games, they're just a great way to spend time, feel good, and escape from reality a lil bit, you know? Some of my favorite games are: Undertale, Celeste, The entire FNAF franchise, Oneshot, and way more.

I like music too, especially from producers like CG5 or OR3O, I like songs with lyrics since I can sing along but I'll pretty much listen to anything.

On the topic of music... keyboard. Cool instrument right? I don't think it's fair to say I can "play" the keyboard/piano since I use a digital one because I don't have a real one. Why did I explain that. I'm doing pretty good and it's really fun to learn a song.

Ooh I like art too. I'm not good at it but I like it..

*Looks down at my comically large scroll*

I don't really watch a lot of shows or films because let's be real my attention span is not long enough for that. Except I actually do watch shows. On YouTube. Notable ones include Murder Drones, The Amazing Digital Circus, GildedGuy animations, Alan Becker's AvM series and Indie Cross.

Another thing I'd like to mention are my friends. I talk about them. A lot. So instead of introducing them every time I make a post, or just assuming you already know them, I'll just introduce them here!

Nkosi - My best friend of like 3 years. It started as a contract and I think that tells you everything you need to know about my social skills. We're very comfortable with each other and he doesn't know about the twording thing but he does know that I generally like physical affection.

Tue - Sooo this guy was my lee for like a week. Both to his, and my disappointment because apparently me from a year ago did not pick up on the obvious hints that he wanted me to tickle him more. He eventually told me and I still didn't tickle him because I was scared I would make him uncomfortable. Anyways him telling me he liked being tworded gave me the courage to tell him I liked being tworded too some months later. And now he's my ler 🥰. Oh and yeah he knows I like physical affection too.

Dr. Pepper - I don't even know how to explain my friendship with this guy. Pretty sure he doesn't like being tworded. He doesn't hate it but if you do it too much then he gets annoyed. Which is fair. He also feels the same way about physical affection I think which is a bummer since that's my entire love language. Did I mention that yet? That's kinda important in my friendships. We like each other but I struggle to put him on the same level of friendship as Nkosi and Tue just because of the physical affection thing. And it's not even his fault.

I think that's everything. Wow, that wasn't so ba- waitiforgoti'mtwordblogohmygod

Okay here we go:

• Twording is a fun thing for me, don't try and make it weird please

• I was once a full ler but I have been nerfed to a switch 😔

(Edit: I have been nerfed to a lee-leaning switch now. I am very concerned as to where this is headed)

• Also DNI if your blog is NSFW. Friendly reminder that I am a minor

• I don't mind over 18 interacting but if your blog is 'minors DNI' then I'd prefer if you didn't interact with me either

And I think that's actually everything!

[eli-after-dark]

Eli Journal Entry #21

Friday (05/05/26)

Who cares about school right? I'm here to basically dump all my thoughts out and try to get organized a bit.

Basically exams are in like 2 weeks so I should probably make a study timetable or something, but I've never done anything like that before. I'll go look at some yt videos on how to study.

Also I'm going by my mom for the whole weekend which sucks for reasons I don't feel like explaining here. Basically I won't be able to do anything until I get back.

Uhhh i had more to say but I spent so long thinking that I forgot.

Oh yeah I'm having a lot of dreams about Dr. Pepper for some reason? He was very nice to me in both it was very fluffy. Anyways

Fun-o-meter? 5/10 could've been better could've been worse. Actually no 4/10. Proud-o-meter? 6/10 could've been better could've been worse.

[eli-after-dark]

I think kissing your friends should be more socially acceptable. Kissing is so great why are we gatekeeping it to romantic relationships. I don't even mean on the lips either, just generally on the forehead or cheeks

[eli-after-dark]

Eli Journal Entry #20

Monday (01/05/26)

That break was supposed to last like... a few days. Then it turned into a week... then 2 weeks... but I'm here now.

I realize that I don't have to journal every day if I don't want to. Uhhh hmmm I had more to say but I started daydreaming so I guess those thoughts are gone now. I'm gonna ease into it with just a basic journal entry of screentime + fun-o-meter

Also I feel like fun-o-meter and proud-o-meter should be two different counters because that just makes sense. Fun? 8/10. It was a very happy day. Proud? 8/10. I did a lot of homework today but I'm gonna finish the rest for tmrw.

[eli-after-dark]

I realized that I don't have to journal every day

Be back in a bit

[eli-after-dark]

Eli Journal Entry #18 + #19

Thursday (21/05/26) + Friday (22/06/25)

These ones are going to be shorter because I'm kind of in a slump right now. Think of it as me riding a bike.. but hitting a speed bump with way too much speed. Might take some time for me to get up again.

Thursday

Once again I woke up so incredibly tired. Really don't know why that's happening.

At school we had religious service or whatever. Not trying to dunk on any religions but like at least let me go to class if I'm not part of your religion please. We had an art test that I got 14/15 on because I couldn't remember the word textile. TEXTILE. Whatever.

I had a lot of tword moments with Tue and Dr. Pepper. Actually a lot of tword moments now that I think of it. There was a time where I COULD'VE wrecked Tue but there was a lot of people around and I didn't want to make a scene. Also I could've tworded Nkosi but I was nice and didn't. (Im such a nice guy like that)

Anyyyways. Spanish class was fun and cool. Dr. Pepper left early after school so I was alone for a bit but it was fine.

What did I do at home? Uhh

(New favorite combination of photos btw) Anyways.

Fun rating? Gotta give this a high 8/10. Had a lot of tword moments, and had no annoying subjects. Only reason I docked two points was cause I was alone for like 15 minutes after school and also....

Okay so I was a bit distracted while writing this so I forgot my second reason but it was a good reason trust me.

Friday

Didn't go to school today because of professional development day or something and I basically woke up at around 8:00 then went on a call with some classmates at around 10:00. We kind of sat on the call for like 2 hours doing nothing cuz nobody had a game to play.

Like an hour later I hopped on a call with Tue because he was bored but I couldn't use my PC anymore so we just kinda sat in silence for 20 minutes before he left. Didn't really do much today.

3/10 fun today.

[eli-after-dark]

Tmrw cause tired

[eli-after-dark]

Eli Journal Entry #17

Wednesday (20/05/26)

The morning was kinda hard. After sleeping for like 5 days straight it was really hard to wake up at 5 but I made it work. Almost forgot to wash my face but I remembered right before I left.

In school? Uhh maths work, history teacher was absent so we got to do nothing basically. Oh yeah and during this time Tue was in a lee mood, evidently of how much he was PROVOKING me and Dr. Pepper. But like how can I be mad at him if when I tickle him he looks so cute🥺

Anyways I did not wreck him there because I don't really like to make a scene during class time so I decided to wait until break time. Unfortunately in the day that I was absent, the class did something dumb and we had detention.

The period after break wasn't important. Some presentation by some organization. It was very boring. No twords or talking.

Anyways lunch time rolls around and I'm finally ready to wreck Tue but like he's just not in a lee mood anymore. I've said it before but you can tell he's in a lee mood based on him provoking you (usually poking you) and curling into a ball when you fight back. But uhh... yeah he just was not like that so oh well. I can't really tword him if he's not in a lee mood because he just will not care and will be annoyed.

Anyways that's basically it. Last period did last period stuff then I went home. I studied for my art test tmrw, I downloaded a cool game, I gambled in black jack (I went from 100k to $100. So painful) then I started writing this post. Definitely not in the correct order but whatever I want to sleep.

My god. The only thing to rival my YouTube addiction is Blackjack. Anyways i don't need to explain this number, 6/10. I'm tired.

[eli-after-dark]

Eli Journal Entry #16

Tuesday (19/05/26)

I lied. I stayed home again cause I'm still sick. I'm going to school tmrw though. But my nose is runny and when I sneeze IT HURTS. Also that edit I was working on, I'm trying out something new so it will take multiple days to complete. Anyways.

It took me 1 day to disable the timer on my YouTube. But my justification is that I was sick today so there was nothing else to really do. Also Frickbears is peak. Beat 2nd ending today. Oh yeah fun-o-meter 4/10. Nothing interesting.

[eli-after-dark]

Eli Journal Entry #15

Monday 18/05/26

Alr so I stayed home today cause I'm sick but I'm going to school tmrw because I might have a test. And also I don't want to miss too many days. However my sickness is only getting worse so now I'm sneezing more and have a runny nose but I'm sure that's fine.

OH ALSO! I BEAT PANTHEON FIVE TODAY!!!

Also I beat night 5 of Five Nights at Frickbears 3 but most of y'all probably don't care. I washed my hair and stuff, yadda yadda. Screentime time.

I added a timer on YouTube and Whatsapp but don't be fooled, my YouTube bugged a bit so my actual screentime is around 10hrs. Uhhh. Anyways fun-o-meter 3/10. I'm sick what do you expect.

[kindawantthis]

I say I’m touch starved but I’m really just tickle starved. I’m just to scared to admit that

[eli-after-dark]

Guysss do I screenshot this and send it to my friend aaaaaaa I want to so bad

[eli-after-dark]

Was not a good idea

[eli-after-dark]

Eli Journal Entry #14

Sunday 17/05/26

Vgjktjjhg as I'm writing this I can hear my own BLOOD PUMPING through my ears. And I have a headache. Okay so after typing that my headache got worse immediately. Okay I almost just fhrew up maybe I should stop listing my symptoms.

If you couldn't tell, or forgot, I'm sick. I'm staying home from school tmrw but I'll probably go to school Tuesday cause I don't wanna miss too many days. Mmm what did I do today? Oo i finished an IT assignment and got to night five in Five Nights at Frickbears 3. Died to plush trap.

Played some HK, played some Roblox, but I did work so idc. Also I edited a quick first draft for my next edit. I'll finish this tmrw.

Anyways screentime time because I am very tired rn and if I don't do this right now I'll forget.

Holy Jesus what the fuck. My god. Anyways fun-o-meter? 5/10. Idk, nothing really happened today.

[kindawantthis]

I say I’m touch starved but I’m really just tickle starved. I’m just to scared to admit that

[eli-after-dark]

Guysss do I screenshot this and send it to my friend aaaaaaa I want to so bad

[eli-after-dark]

Eli Journal Entry #13

Saturday 17/05/26 (DD/MM/YY)

Alright so I actually had a really good dream that day. Don't know why I mentioned it though because I don't really feel like typing out that whole thing. Uhh hmm.

Oh yeah Tue called me like 5 minutes after I woke up to play a game but I actually just was not ready for that because he was supposed to be going out with his other friends. They were going to see a movie then get food and hang out but I didn't decide to go because my dad probably wouldn't give me money anyways and... why am I going out... just to hang out? We hang out every day in school and at home??

Anyways, they pushed it back (for like the 5th time) to sometime in June which is cool. Anyways I'm just kinda waffling for no reason. Bro it was Saturday what do you want me to say? I just sat in bed all day then I hopped on a call with Tue to play some games, then he hopped off, then I went to sleep.

Oh yeah, Gameoverse pilot came out. I loved it. Miss Information and Fold are my favorite characters ngl "If you're having trouble, shoot where they're going, not where they are. If you're having trouble-" "I KNOW!" and Schlatt didn't even feel that out of place for me because I never consumed much of his content.

And also I'm kinda sick so I'm probably gonna stay home from school on Monday. Unless I make a miraculous recovery in like 12 hours. Anyways that's about it. Oh I also added some Friends on Finch so that's cool. Wait I forgot screentime.

Okay it's bad but it's better than last Saturday when I had 18 hours of screentime. Fun-o-meter? Uhh 6/10 sorry guys on days without any physical affection, the fun-o-meter gets a huge... uh... debuff? I forgot the word I was gonna use. Anyways bye

[zantlink]

[eli-after-dark]

I haven't seen Ghirahim in so long holy

[eli-after-dark]

Eli Journal Entry #12

Friday - 15/05/2025 (DD/MM/YY)

Gonna start putting the date on these because I was looking back at my old Journal entries and I realized it was really hard to tell which day it was.

Anyways I missed this journal entry because I was just lazy and also going through a kind of crisis. I've had some time to think about it though so this post isn't a vent. I will probably make that a separate post. Anyways, what happened that day?

Our Theatre Arts play probably isn't getting cancelled so we have to actually put in work. We did some more Julius Caesar stuff. I was majorly in the dumps for the first half of the day for reasons I will not say in this post. Second half though we got an IT assignment that was kinda fun but I didn't finish. I'll finish that in a second.

Also I wrecked Dr. Pepper :3

It was very fun. The first time I like ACTUALLY wrecked someone (well not really since I let him go really fast but that's because I didn't want to make him uncomfortable)

The best way to explain twording for me is: I'm like a vampire but instead of sucking people's blood, I tickle them/get tickled instead. Y'all have no idea how fun that crap was bro. Comparable to being dehydrated for days and finally getting a big bottle of water. So rejuvenating.

Oh yeah also I gave him a pie to repay him :3

I know he doesn't like getting tickled but he doesn't hate it either so just in case I made him slightly uncomfortable

Anyways screentime time

Also fun meter? 7/10. It would've been like a 2 or a 3 because of what happened earlier that day/the week but that tword moment really boosted it.

One last thing before I leave. The Journal Entry for today (Saturday) will probably come early tmrw when I wake up or late this night right before I sleep.

[eli-after-dark]

Hey you like the FNAF games I think you should play Five Nights at Frickbear's 3 it's like the single best fangame I've played it's so peak

I can check it out but I have a very high standard for FNAF fan games (definitely not ONAF wdym)

[eli-after-dark]

It's actually so peak what?? I'm playing on the easiest difficulty because I'm a baby and somehow still died to Freddy on night 1. After that though my strat was to just save up tokens until 4am where I'd just skip the last 2 hours 😅

I'm at night 4 right now and I'm pretty I missed some things in the salvage sections like the puppet needed to hold something? And I needed a key to open the door? And that stupid key code puzzle. I feel like I'm missing 1 hint because I know a lot but the possible combinations are still too many. Anyways great game, I will be playing more and probably be doing multiple playthroughs