soloist soul in a pas de deux world
my reflections on leading, following, and finding my rhythm
love is, for me, felt most through leadership.
this is one of the reasons i love social dance. because social dancing, a platonic activity with friends, has become my reminder of how it feels, somatically and intuitively, to be met with leadership. and how i transform in response.
like a mirror to my life, i love dancing on my own, but i absolutely love and feel most embodied with a strong lead in a social dance.
when i dance with a partner (particularly someone i consider a “strong lead”), i notice the tension of our hands.
first, when he leads me to our place on the dance floor, and next, as we take our first step on 1. sometimes it’s the stability of a bicep underneath my forearm. other times, the contact point that doesn’t buckle, but gently directs, supports, or adjusts as we turn.
no matter the style of dance, what i notice and feel is my dance partner becoming a trustworthy reference: providing a frame.
despite how different every lead’s “frame” can manifest, it usually stays consistent throughout a dance. his frame tells me where he’s going and what he wants from me. i’m not anticipating what his next move is or what my next move should be.
i feel it in my body, through his frame, and in the moment. i can tell what style of dance, what tempo, and i can sense all of it, often without needing to share a single word.
but alas, i do have the gift of gab so i end up chatting the ears off of every partner ever, regardless - and typically by the end of the first 8 count.
and interestingly, what i find myself repeating often among my favorite dance partners is, “no thoughts just vibes”, or “nothing in my noggin” - always something to that effect because that’s how i genuinely feel - and it is so freeing.
i feel comfortable, powerful, confident, and sexy (yes, i said it!!!) when i don’t have to anticipate or brace for what’s coming next.
even if we “miss” a move (c’est la vie, i’m not looking for perfection anymore, remember?), we typically recover so seamlessly it’s barely noticeable to anyone - even me.
being in an environment that allows me to be completely in my body, feeling intuitively and in the moment is one of the best gifts i’ve ever been given.
it’s the gift of presence and knowing confidence. it’s the freedom i want to feel in every aspect of life.
when an embodied gal finds her strong lead, she moves differently. she knows the logistics are taken care of, so all that’s left is the flair, the beauty, the connection, the art of it all. and i like to think that’s what i’m best at.
whether i’m social dancing on sunday nights or find myself in the intricate dance of dating or relationship, this feeling is what i’m looking for. this is where i know i’ll show up as my best self - in flow with someone who encourages me to be the flair, to build our connection, and to co-create something beautiful.
so, it’s presence, artistry, movement, a little gab, and a little jig. that’s the rhythm i’m intentionally curating for the rest of this year.
thanks for being witness to opening night of my pas de deux. love you x
*disclaimer: i know this is a little bit of cheating because this is my photography page, but it’s also my writing page! so here’s my writing! and here’s a photo of me dancing with one of my favorite partners, alfred, shot by someone else on my camera! i don’t have any dancing photos so this one makes me super happy and i had to share xx
