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Internalized Heterosexism: Literature Reivew

Due to society’s anti-homosexual attitudes, heterosexual and LGBQ-identifying individuals internalize negative messages about their sexual orientation long before they become aware of their own sexuality. This can result in negative self-labels of oneself and one's sexuality. Furthermore, this self-labeling immediately appoints negative attitudes and characterizations to the individual, resulting in psychologically adverse consequences (Meyer, 1995). 

Internalized heterosexism can be defined as the negative social attitudes and assumptions toward non-heterosexual individuals, which are internalized by lesbian, gay, and bisexual individuals. For example, one study found that the majority of lesbian and gay-identifying participants reported experiences of internalized heterosexism to varying extents (Szymanski et al., 2008; Shidlo, 1994).

Due to challenging societal notions in disclosure of one’s sexuality, IH is presumably at its peak during one’s process of “coming out”. Furthermore, this is unlikely to go away even after an individual discloses their sexuality to others. Moreover, the burden of IH on LGB individuals can differ from mild (with a proclivity for self-doubt) to severe (through self-destructive behaviors, unconcealed self-hatred) (Szymanski et al., 2008; Meyer, 1995).

This paper will explore the limitations of terms used for internalized heterosexism. This will include primary psychological theories that are applied when examining IH, as well as highlight the relationship research between psychological distress and IH.

Limitations of Internalized Homophobia

Within psychological literature, internalized heterosexism is also known as internalized homophobia or internalized homonegativity. The terms internalized homophobia and homophobia, however, have been critiqued as insufficient to describe the repressive experiences of LGB individuals. 

George Weinberg introduced the term homophobia in 1972 to put a name to the hostility homosexuals faced. As a heterosexual psychologist, Weinberg was trained to consider homosexuality as a pathology. However, he believed this incorrect and coined the term to distinguish phobia about homosexuals (Weinberg, 1972; Herek, 2004). 

While Weinberg's theory was an essential contribution to changing how sexual orientation was viewed within US society, Herek (2004) regards Weinberg with high esteem and his role in modifying thoughts of sexual orientation in American society. They argue that his definition of homophobia accentuates individual fear rather than focusing on the oppressive systems contributing to homophobia (Herek, 2004).

When using the term internalized homophobia, many researchers advise against conceptualizing it as something internal to the individual and use it as a relation in which prevalent heterosexism is applied to the self. Despite these understandings, pursuits of alternative terminology have yet to be recognized in many formalities (Frost & Meyer, 2009).

Homophobia, however, is not actually a phobia at all. Instead, it is a term rooted in bias and hostility. The term also assumes that homophobia resides in the individual rather than a heterosexist society that rejects those who are not heterosexual. Though this subject is mainly known as "internalized homophobia," it is essential to recognize this distinction. For this paper, the term IH will reflect this topic. 

Psychological Framework: Minority Stress Theory

Internalized heterosexism has been investigated from numerous psychological frameworks, such as the development perspective and minority stress theory. Most research has recognized sexual minority health differences through this framework. The minority stress framework states that SM individuals endure constant, added stressors due to identity stigmatization, leading to adverse health outcomes (Meyer, 2003). This framework illustrates two types of stressors: distal and proximal stressors. Stressors external to the individual, such as experiences of discrimination, are distal minority stressors. In contrast, proximal stressors include internal stigma processes, such as identity concealment and internalized heterosexism (Salim et al., 2020).

Evidence for this minority stress theory for internalizing mental health problems was shown through Meyer's 1995 study of gay men in New York City. The testing of minority stress processes showed that internalized homophobia, acts of discrimination and cruelty (prejudice), as well as expectations of exclusion and bigotry (stigma), predict psychological distress in gay men. Therefore, the minority stress hypothesis was supported because stressors have meaningful and disparate associations including various mental health measures (Meyer, 1995; Newcomb & Mustanski, 2010).

Hatzenbuehler (2009) proposed an extension of minority stress theory to understand the relationship between distal minority stressors and mental health outcomes. This integrative model examined general psychological processes (e.g., rumination) and group-specific processes (e.g., IH) and found that negative health outcomes are a result of an increase in proximal stressors, which are related to distal stressors (Hatzenbuehler, 2009).

His integrative meditation model proposed that the stigma-induced stress that sexual minorities face increases the risk of dysregulation of general psychological processes (social/interpersonal, coping, and cognitive processes). Furthermore, these psychological processes interact with proximal stressors, which intensify and are intensified by group-specific processes. Therefore, the interaction of psychological and group-specific processes is a mediator between distal minority stress and mental health outcomes (Hatzenbuehler, 2009; Micheals et al., 2019).

Impacts of Internalized Heterosexism

Robust research literature has demonstrated that internalized heterosexism, or the internalization of the societal devaluation of LGB identity, is associated with adverse health outcomes. Additionally, IH is a critical cause of psychological distress in sexual minority individuals, often with pathogenic impacts on psychological functioning. (Shidlo, 1994; Ummak et al., 2021).

In 1984, Alan Malyon hypothesized that the harmful effects of internalized homophobia occur due to disruptions of identity formation and the repression of homosexual feelings. He believed that internalized homophobia could lead to depression, low self-esteem, patterns of cognition, as well as a disruption in identity formation, psychological integrity, superego functioning, and object relations (Maylon, 1982). 

Specifically, LGBQ individuals encounter higher rates of mood and anxiety disorders, suicide attempts, and substance use disorders due to sexual orientation-based stressors, sexual orientation-based victimization, perceived stigma due to sexual orientation, and internalized homophobia experienced by LGB individuals (Newcomb & Mustanski, 2010). Below are studies analyzing the relationship between IH and psychological stress. These factors mediate the relationship between the two, as well as other interpersonal and intrapersonal areas that are impacted by internalized heterosexism.

IH and Psychological Distress: Mediating Roles of Self-Criticism and Community Connectedness 

Puckett's (2015) investigation revealed some of the psychological and social processes of negative mental health outcomes. This study expanded on the mechanisms explaining the relationship between IH and the mental health of sexual minorities. Additionally, the study examined the role of self-criticism and community connectedness (or lack thereof) as mediators of IH and psychological distress.

The findings suggested that this relationship accounted for less community connectedness with other LGB individuals and higher self-criticism. Although self-criticism has not been adequately examined in the literature, this study found that self-criticism is a mediator between IH and psychological distress. 

The impact of social support has been established as a buffer against the adverse outcomes of heterosexism, and IH was shown to be affiliated with reduced social support (Szymanski et al., 2008). In Puckett's study, LGB community connection appeared as another approach in which IH affects mental health. The greater IH of an individual, the less they were involved with other sexual minorities. For these individuals, the lack of affirmatory and supportive connections contributed to and maintenance their negative self-image; a result of living in a heteronormative society, the embodiment of a negative self-image can be maintained through lack of supporting and affirmatory connections (Puckett et al., 2015).

IH and Mental Health: Effect of Religious Affiliation

Considering that homosexuality is not approved of in most religious communities in the United States, Barnes and Meyer (2012) sought to understand the relationship between IH, mental health, and exposure to these non-affirming religious environments. Using a minority stress model framework, the study examined the relationship between these non-affirming religious environments and internalized homophobia, a stress process expressed in minority stress theory, and mental health consequences in LGB individuals.

The results showed that the LGB participants were religious to a lesser degree than the overall population in the United States. However, Black and Latinx LGBs documented greater levels of religiosity than did White participants. Additionally, Latinx LGBs were detected to have higher levels of IH than White LGBs.

Secondly, the study found that those involved in non-affirming religious spaces had significantly higher levels of IH and that Latinx participants had higher levels of IH compared to White participants. In the complete sample and Latinos compared with Whites. Additionally, the researchers stated that their findings on the distinction between Latinos and Blacks are too provisional for interpretation. IH was also a predictor of psychological well-being and depressive symptoms. However, involvement in a non-affirming religion was not correlated with adverse mental health (Barnes & Meyer, 2012). This study emphasizes remembering IH as not a trait of an individual but the impression of the interaction between the environment and the individual.

Relationship Between IH & Life Satisfaction 

Researchers have also explored the relationship between internalized heterosexism and protective resiliency factors, such as life satisfaction, and internalized heterosexism has been considered empirically by various researchers. Michaels (2019) examined the pathways between heterosexist discrimination, internalized heterosexism, meaning in life, stress-related growth, and life satisfaction among SM individuals. This work supports Hatzenbuehler's Integrative Mediation model, which shows how as IH increases, heterosexist discrimination increases along with it, and therefore, life satisfaction was also found to decrease. Internalized heterosexism was also connected to reduced levels of life satisfaction and stress-related growth. Indirectly, the positive relationship between minority stress and stress-related growth was also affected. This study elucidated the negative associations between internalized heterosexism and life satisfaction (Micheals et al., 2019).

Most research on LGB health has been primarily conducted in Westernized countries. Ummak and others (2021) explored how life satisfaction and internalized homonegativity vary regarding social contexts defined by nationality and sexual orientation. Due to internalized heterosexism's actualization through heteronormative cultural attitudes, the researchers hypothesized that women from more individualistic countries would experience more internalized heterosexism (Ummak et al., 2021).

The participants were either from Turkey or Belgium, which comprise distinct social contexts. Turkish culture is stated to have more collectivist tendencies, promoting communal obligation and duty toward one's community and society. In contrast, Belgium emphasizes individual autonomy and personal rights through its individualist culture. 

The results found that LB women from Turkey faced a more internalized heterosexism than those from Belgium. Considering the findings that LB women in Belgium reported lower internalized heterosexism, this aligns with previous research and the hypothesis stated by the researchers; LGB individuals undergo less internalized heterosexism when living where there are more policies and practices opposed to discrimination (Ummak et al., 2021).

Relationship Between IH & Relationship Quality 

Using the minority stress model as a theoretical reference, Frost & Meyer (2009) examined the association between internalized homophobia and relationship quality among gay men, lesbians, and bisexuals.

Previous psychological examinations have shown that outness, community connectedness, and depressive symptoms overlapped with IH. Therefore, in this study, IH was conceptualized as a distinct minority stressor, and the previously stated concepts and their associations were analyzed.  

When accounting for the mediating role of depression, the effects of IH were attenuated. This finding implies that increased depressive symptoms cause relationship problems due to IH. As for outness and IH, a strong negative relationship was found. However, there was no association with relationship quality present regarding outness. Therefore, although there is a relationship between IH and outness, they are not synonymous, supporting previous research that indicated IH's negative relation to relationship quality, but not outness.  

Community connectedness was significantly correlated with internalized homophobia and was associated with relationship quality. Among coupled participants, greater connectedness related to an amplified relationship strain. Overall, the results unveiled that outness, community connectedness, and depressive symptoms are interconnected but distinct constructs, each distinctive role in LGB experiences (Frost & Meyer, 2009).

References

Barnes, D. M., & Meyer, I. H. (2012). Religious affiliation, internalized homophobia, and mental health of lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 82(4), 505-515. http://dx.doi.org/10.1111/j.1939-0025.2012.01185.x

Feinstein, B. A., Xavier Hall, C. D., Dyar, C., & Davila, J. (2020). Motivations for Sexual Identity Concealment and Their Associations with Mental Health among Bisexual, Pansexual, Queer, and Fluid (Bi+) Individuals. Journal of Bisexuality, 20(3), 324-341. https://doi.org/10.1080/15299716.2020.1743402

Frost, D. M., & Meyer, I. H. (2009). Internalized homophobia and relationship quality among lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 56(1), 97-109. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0012844

Green, D. E., Walkey, F. H., McCormick, I. A., & Taylor, A. J. W. (1988). Hopkins Symptom Checklist—21http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/t02253-000

Hatzenbuehler, M. L. (2009). How does sexual minority stigma “get under the skin”? A psychological mediation framework. Psychological Bulletin, 135(5), 707-730. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/a0016441

Herek, G. M. (2004). Beyond “Homophobia”: Thinking about sexual prejudice and stigma in the twenty-first century. Sexuality Research and Social Policy, 1(2), 6-24. https://doi.org/10.1525/srsp.2004.1.2.6

Herek, G. M., Gillis, J. R., & Cogan, J. C. (2009). Revised Internalized Homophobia Scalehttp://dx.doi.org/10.1037/t10966-000

Malyon, A. K. (1982). Psychotherapeutic implications of internalized homophobia in gay men. Journal of Homosexuality, 7, 59-70

Meyer, I. H. (2003). Prejudice, social stress, and mental health in lesbian, gay, and bisexual populations: Conceptual issues and research evidence. Psychological Bulletin, 129(5), 674-697. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.129.5.674

Michaels, C., Choi, N., Adams, E. M., & Hitter, T. L. (2019). Testing a new model of sexual minority stress to assess the roles of meaning in life and internalized heterosexism on stress-related growth and life satisfaction. Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity, 6(2), 204-216. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/sgd0000320

Newcomb, M. E., & Mustanski, B. (2010). Internalized homophobia and internalizing mental health problems: A meta-analytic review. Clinical psychology review, 30(8), 1019-1029. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2010.07.003

Puckett, J. A., Levitt, H. M., Horne, S. G., & Hayes-Skelton, S. A. (2015). Internalized heterosexism and psychological distress: The mediating roles of self-criticism and community connectedness. Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity, 2(4), 426-435. https://doi.org/10.1037/sgd0000123

Salim, S. R., McConnell, A. A., & Messman-Moore, T. L. (2020). Bisexual Women’s Experiences of Stigma and Verbal Sexual Coercion: The Roles of Internalized Heterosexism and Outness. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 44(3), 362-376. https://doi.org/10.1177/0361684320917391

Shidlo, A. (1994). Internalized homophobia: Conceptual and empirical issues in measurement. In B. Greene & G. M. Herek (Eds.), Lesbian and gay psychology: Theory, research, and clinical applications (pp. 176–205). Sage Publications, Inc. https://doi.org/10.4135/9781483326757.n10

Szymanski, D. M., Kashubeck-West, S., & Meyer, J. (2008). Internalized Heterosexism. The Counseling Psychologist, 36(4), 510 524. https://doi.org/10.1177/0011000007309488

Ummak, E., Toplu-Demirtaş, E., Pope, A. L., & Moe, J. (2021). The influence of internalized heterosexism on life satisfaction: comparing sexual minority women in Belgium and Turkey. Current Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-021-02068

Weinberg, G. (1972). Society and the healthy homosexual. New York: St. Martin’s.

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A Love Letter (to Myself)

I'm a devout romantic, always have been. Yes, it has its challenges, but I have learned to embrace my emotion in its entirety, allowing it to fill my life with all kinds of love.

My solitude has brought a lot of attention to my need for self-reflection, which is why, one morose evening, I chose to view myself in this light (instead of reveling in my pity) & write myself a love letter.

Dear Ellis,

When you lay in bed at night, I hope you remember what's important.

No matter the day, always be proud of yourself for endlessly trying. For messing up & learning from it. Mother always said wisdom is when you learn from other people's mistakes. Seldom listening when I was young is seemingly why I made the mistakes myself.

There is nothing I cherish more than my blemishes. My scars, my wounds. Nothing makes me feel more human, more open to the world. Grounding myself in the unknown, apprehension and excitement leading the way.

I know that as long as I allow myself, I will wake up the following day, remembering I have a new day to make my own. There is no meaning to life other than this. To continue.

Your circumstances don't define you; never let yourself be put into a box. You are boundless; your words & care have meaning. You make a difference, even when you refuse to see it. Appreciate the beauty at your fingertips, the blessings we have the chance to wrap ourselves in—the little things.

Being safe will get you nowhere. If what I am doing, even in the most minor ways, is a mistake…then to them I keep making! I want more mistakes. I want more love, more confidence. I want to wholly and unapologetically me.

Try to love yourself a little more each day (especially when it’s hardest to).

Written June 2nd, 2021

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On Self-Doubt

Self-doubt; the habit of questioning your worth, judgment, or one or more aspects of the self. However, I doubt I need to define that for you.

Alas, we are human, and a bit of doubt is good for you (if uncertain, think about that overconfident person you know, full of destructive choices and behaviors. Or the few). Unhealthy self-doubt is when it's persistent, debilitating even, which can then lead to low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, emotional instability, and inability to make decisions; you name it. 

Sources of Self-doubt  I believe it's essential to understand a habit's origins to be able actually to change them. Like most concepts in psychology, the answer differs from person to person. Self-doubt can start from events or different attachments in childhood or simply as a stressed-out adult. Or from the permeating societal pressure to achieve more and more (thanks, America). Regardless, negative occurrences can alter our self-worth into a dangerous cycle of self-doubt.

Forms of Self-doubt  Imposter syndrome is a form of self-doubt that appears to be a common issue arising from our world consistently displaying achievements on a pedestal (or Instagram). If you aren't familiar with the term, I wouldn't believe you, honestly, because you're a human on social media.

Imposter Syndrome is when, no matter what you accomplish, you feel like a phony. The ladder you're climbing continues to grow as you ascend; a neverending feeling of lacking overwhelms you. You feel as if you're unqualified for your job, friendships, relationships, and what have you. Imposter Syndrome can lead to a crumbling of your self-esteem, as well as other forms of self-doubt, such as self-sabotage, indecisiveness, constantly seeking reassurance, feeling as if you're never good enough, & much more.

How to Overcome Self-Doubt This is a tricky concept because ideas of self-doubt can become so internalized, it's hard even to realize you doubt yourself. The most troublesome part of change is identifying the problem. Take some time to think about the way you feel about yourself. Are you your biggest critic? Do you give yourself credit for your achievements? Are you kind to yourself? Be able to ask yourself these questions objectively. 

I grapple with self-doubt, occasionally thinking myself into a harmful cycle that fuels itself. Embracing my self-doubt has helped me the most. When I unnecessarily bring myself down, I recognize that it's there and then try to refocus on the point at hand. 

Cognitive-behavioral therapy has shown immense improvement in eliminating self-doubt. A cognitive restructuring technique can help you restructure your thoughts so that you generate more helpful thoughts rather than negative ones. I try and restructure all ideas that unnecessarily bring myself down into ones that can either motivate or encourage me. Therapy is highly effective in learning these tactics (and I believe good therapy can be transformative).

Other ways include: Reflecting on your past achievements, surrounding yourself with people who support you, practicing self-compassion, & even keeping a gratitude journal, one self-focused that gives you space to acknowledge your triumphs and accomplishments.  

If self-doubt is an obstacle for you, remember that you can change it if you put in the work, like any other damaging habit. Try some of these strategies, read more about self-doubt, or better yet, try some good old fashion therapy. Be good to yourself, (the only person that can transform your life is you).

Written June 6th, 2021

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The Invisible Femme

You see a woman walking down the street. Her defining features aren't limited to long hair, makeup, lash extensions, and mini skirt. She walks up to another woman, greeting her with a kiss.

The chances are, a random onlooker would think they're maybe close friends. Or, they may realize that they're romantically involved. But this dilemma presents itself regardless of one's feelings towards homosexuality, for this is a common occurrence as victims of the heteronormative society we inhabit. Assuming a feminine-presenting woman is straight is the gender binary's mission at work.

Femme non-heterosexuals slip through the cracks in our society; they're presumed to be attracted to men. And at a gay bar, members of their community consider them as straight, or their feminine presentation as not being "gay enough." Femme invisibility is at play when a queer woman is hidden within or outside queer communities.

Within lesbian subcultures, appearance norms have always existed. 'Butch' and 'femme' are terms used to articulate gender identities, sexual identities, and emotional styles (Eves, 2004). These identifiers date back to the 1940s in North American lesbian and working-class bar culture and are still used in describing fitting relationships. From a historical standpoint, "femme" has been used within femme/butch lesbian relationships as a way for lesbians to reclaim femininity. The rejection of culturally normative femininity, a more masculine gender expression, is reflected by "butch" (Hurst, 2003). And although numerous queer women adapt to androgynous or butch models, it's more difficult to be acknowledged as a lesbian or bisexual when feminine-presenting.

Femme women challenge the notion that queer people must perform a gender expression that complies with heterosexual ideas of queerness (in this case, that queer women are"masculine"). In Lisa Walker's "The future of femme: Notes on femininity, aging and gender theory," she states a difference of free will and determinism exist to distinguish between Femmes and the heterosexual other. That femmes are agents in their expression of femininity -- "femme is the subject with 'choice,' 'freedom,' and the ability to manipulate and subvert the fashion system with intention." In comparison, her hegemonic other lacks sovereignty of choice, a feminine figure made a "victim" of and confined by normative femininity (Walker, 2012). Femmes manipulate gender expression, the identity going further than merely "feminine-presenting." Instead, it's an intentional relationship between one's queerness & one's femininity (Resnick, 2021). Queer theorists' reclamation of gender and sexual identities in the 1990s must be understood to better comprehend this subversion of identity.

"We are strong; we are revolutionary; we are gender renegades; we are, above all, not feminine in the way straight women are. In fact, we reject femininity in its most degraded, "mainstream" form." - Lisa Walker.

The queer theorists of the 1990s implored varied approaches to lesbian genders and their connections to heterosexuality. Queer theory investigates normative alignments of sexuality, sex, gender, and individuals' experiences, particularly observing the homosexual/heterosexual binary that has served as the standard in social knowledge (Valocchi, 2005). Teresa de Lauretis, a feminist and critical theorist, coined the term queer theory in 1990. In "Queer Theory: Lesbian and Gay Sexualities," de Lauretis indicates queer as a term to critically evaluate these ideas, such as heterosexuality being the standard for all sexual formations. De Lauretis' goal was to "reinvent the terms of our sexualities, to construct another discursive horizon" (de Lauretis).

Critical theorist Judith Butler saw gender as a performance, a product of actions and behaviors rather than an embodiment of inherent nature. Butler believed that identity is assured through notions of sex, gender, and sexuality. Specifically, identities such as butch or femme individuals and relationships as a form of parodic imitation that challenge hegemonic heterosexual ideals. Further, those butch-femme relationships aren't just "bad copies" of straight couples -- but that they create new meaning through disruption and resignification of the structures they appear to be reproducing (Butler, 1990).

Femme invisibility affects queer women in their view of sexual authenticity. For example, in Rachel Alpha Johnston Hurts' study, "Engaging invisibility: Theorizing Femme Identities," three-quarters of her focus group participants articulated femme invisibility as supplemental to their definitions of being femme. In addition, these women expressed frustration in consistently being invisible and assumed to be heterosexual regardless of their efforts. Many femmes stated constant presumption of ideas such as becoming "heterosexual at any moment." Supposing that femme women "aren't queer" also discourages their comfort in coming out as queer initially.

Likewise, in "Experience of femme identity: coming out, invisibility and femmephobia," Karen L. Blair and Rhea Ashley Hoskin found that most of the challenges coming out as a femme person included a sense of butch/masculine ideas being predominant, lack of representation of femme sexual minorities, invisibility experiences, and confusion over attraction queer masculinities. The participants also voiced the struggle in continually having to come out and femme invisibility presence within the LGBTQ+ community. For example, a participant in this study stated that they 'feel invisible within LGBTQ communities because [they] embrace femininity" (Blair & Hoskin, 2015).

Within understanding the struggles in femme invalidation, it's essential to consider the privilege of presenting as gender-conforming. In presenting femme, they evade harassment and discrimination that "visibly queer" people may experience. In addition, their gender expression and sexuality appear to fit heterosexual standards; therefore, discrimination in work environments and other establishments is more likely not to occur. Bias may not be displayed due to their appearance; however, they still may face adversities in being queer, not due to their physical features alone (Resnick, 2021).

It's heterosexism's prerogative to equate one's appearance or gender expression to one's sexual orientation. Regardless of creating inner turmoil of identity, femme invisibility goes further than the individual. The idea that one is 'straight-passing' is tied inherently to the flawed notion of a gender binary, and views of gender essentialism don't cut it contemporarily. Queer women shouldn't feel societal pressure to change their appearance to be validated. Assuming that women, or anyone for that matter, will or should present as their sexuality needs to change. Queerness has no one look, just as straightness doesn't either.

References

Blair, K. L., & Hoskin, R. A. (2015). Experiences of femme identity: Coming out, invisibility and femmephobia. Psychology & Sexuality, 6(3), 229– 244. https://doi.org/10.1080/19419899.2014.921860

Butler, J. (1990) Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity. New York and London: Routledge, 1990.

De Lauretis, T. (1991). Queer Theory: Lesbian and Gay Sexualities, An Introduction . Retrieved from https://cpb-use1. wpmucdn.com/wordpressua.uark.edu/dist/e/218/files/2019/05/DeLauretis.QueerTheory1991.pdf

Eves, A. (2004). Queer Theory, Butch/Femme Identities and Lesbian Space. Sexualities, 7(4), 480-496. 10.1177/1363460704047064

Hurst, R. A. J. (2003). Engaging invisibility: Theorizing femme identities (Order No. MQ81821). Available from ProQuest Dissertations & Theses Global. (305239517). https://login.libproxy.newschool.edu/login?url=https://www.proquest.com/dissertationstheses/engaging-invisibility-theorizing-femme-identities/docview/305239517/se-2?accountid=12261

Resnick, A. (2021). What is femme invisibility? Verywell Mind. Retrieved from https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-femme-invisibility-5187233

Valocchi, S. (2005). Not Yet Queer Enough: The Lessons of Queer Theory for the Sociology of Gender and Sexuality. Gender & Society, 19(6), 750–770. https://doi.org/10.1177/0891243205280294

Walker, L. (2012). The future of femme: Notes on femininity, aging and gender theory. Sexualities, 15(7), 795-814. 10.1177/1363460711417482

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Do you have book recommendations, preferably 5?

If you’d like, you can check out my Goodreads account, my user is Ellis Clare

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what model is your guitar? i love thé way it sounds!

It’s a little Martin, LXK2.

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Details

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Details 

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Acrylic on canvas, 30 x 24 inches

On a recent trip to Mustique, I was inspired by the beauty of natural texture. I spent my days at the beach taking photos of every rock & amalgamation created by the waves.  This painting was influenced by one of the many sights I captured.

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did you teach yourself guitar? love the song in your latest instagram post.

I briefly took lessons when I was young, I relearned on my own in high school & recently got back into playing more. Thank you, it’s Summer Song by Angel Olsen.

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love your output so much. i always look forward to your writings/ellisjournal posts. it's special to find you! love you just want you to know :)

Wow thank you!!!! You’re a treasure.

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Hi Ellis, I'm really struggling with a break right now, he's found someone else while I'm wallowing in self-pity every morning. I'm just wondering if you have any tips about getting over someone. I feel like there's nowhere to go other than my thoughts and I tried pouring myself into school but these past months have been really hard. Any suggestions?

I think the most important thing to remember is that everything you’re feeling is valid & normal! It’s okay to feel broken, to feel lost & alone. A big part of your life has changed. These feelings after a loss are extremely difficult. All I can say that has helped me, is take your time. It’s okay to be upset for as long as you need to. You’re where you’re supposed to be & feeling what you need to feel. When the pain subsides, you will grow & goodness will come. Find it within yourself, be patient; & of course, stay strong my sweet.

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Details

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Acrylic on canvas

11x14

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if you could tell your past self (any age, you pick) one thing, what would it be?

“If not now, then when? If not you, then who?”

Corny, I know. As of late, I’ve come to terms with my pervading self-doubt; how it’s been my worst enemy (but, sometimes, greatest motivator). This quote has been a incentive I’ve needed & wish I drilled into my head at a younger age.

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Details

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Acrylic on canvas 10 x 16