Tumblr shows us all the sexiness of D/s, but what it rarely shows us, is the struggle. And let’s be clear, D/s is often a struggle. A war raging in the minds of its participants.
For the submissive, the question of how much to give. She may want to be taken sexually, because it’s fun and enjoyable. But what about her mind? Is she prepared to let him alter her behaviors, change the way she acts or reacts? Is she prepared to suffer the shame or humiliation of punishments? How far will she allow herself to be pushed? To what levels of depravity is she prepared to sink to be with this man? Can she submit when she’s tired, or scared, or hurt or angry?
For the Dominant, can he effectively set and maintain his boundaries? Can he uphold his responsibilities to be honest, to provide for her growth, her safety, and her happiness, all while balancing her needs for his strength and determination to guide her? Can he hold himself as accountable as he holds her - or more? And what about when times are hard - will he cave, will he break? Will he let his own morals slide for the sake of convenience?
These are the challenges we all face. This is not always fun. It is not always easy. It is not all great kinky sex. It’s really hard work. It’s two people pledging themselves to one another for one another’s mutual benefit.
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