A few weeks ago, I lost one of the people I care for most; my grandmother. She died of old age at 96.5 years and lived a long and fruitful life. My love for my grandmother knows no bounds, I feel her in everything... in the trees, the flowers, rocks and shells on the ground, hear her in music, and feel her love when I taste food I have cooked. She shared many loves and hobbies with me...
A love for music, skillful writing, adventurer’s heart, love of nature, love and skill for art (particularly sketching/drawing), desire for equality and social justice, and more.
I may never meet/know someone just as amazing as Carol Collins Robinson, my wonderful grandmother beautiful inside and out.
Only a couple days ago on Halloween was her memorial service (I am down here in Florida with my mom and dad helping pack up, clean, and more), and what a beautiful day it was. A few puffy white clouds in an otherwise clear blue sky, egrets and herons at ponds, butterflies fluttering by, and the gentle tropical wind brushing our faces, like a mother’s tender touch on her child’s cheek. We could not have asked for a more beautiful day to celebrate her life.
And now, as I sit here and write, tears gently slipping down my face, I smile at the memories I have of her. When I once played the viola (she played violin nearly all her life and gave lessons), she taught me finger techniques, proper form, and even how to play 2 chords at once. I remember her showing me a collection of notebooks, paper, pastels, paint, pencils, markers, crayons, and more, telling me to ‘go for it’ and ‘have fun, sweetie.’ Over time my drawing and writing skills improved, going from stick figures at the age of 5 to full bodies and faces at the age of 15 (I have a more cartoonish/fantasy style). I began writing poetry at the age of 10 and expressed a love for reading and knowledge the very moment I could read and learn.
I may be adopted, but my grandmother’s spirit connected with mine and we became kindred spirits. She is my true grandmother, for family does not end with blood, nor does it start there. Forever in my heart she will remain, never will I forget what she has taught me and how strong her love for me was.
Grandma, I love you. I miss you. And I know, up in Heaven, you are painting portraits of the angels, focusing on their intricate feathers, getting every single tiny detail onto your canvas. I know you are playing violin among the spirits. I know you have a camera with you, surrounded by maps and books. You deserve the best, Grandma, I will see you again one day.
To those who are dealing with loss, I am right here with you. The pain will not last forever, but the beautiful memories will. A few songs that are helping me now, some because she loved them, some because they remind me of her, and others because they are great for loss, are listed below.
Roundtable Rival - Lindsey Stirling (remembrance)
Leave Her Johnny - Michiel Schrey, Nils Brown, and Seán Dagher (played at her memorial, it’s a sea shanty)
Que Sera Sera - Doris Day (memorial)
I’ll See You Again - Westlife (for loss)
Artemis - Lindsey Stirling (remembrance and loss)
And if you would like to read her obituary, here is the link.
http://islandcremations.com/obituaries/carol-collins-robinson/4436/
snowghoul
kaledo-art
germansingergirl
