Things my co-workers have said/done, a thrilling saga
For context I work at a Subway and these were all said by one ballsy God of a man
-them saying "Get that weak shit outta here" and changing my Five Finger Deathpunch playlist to NyanCat 10hr version
-"We're closed" to 30 customers, 5 of them actually walking out and believing them
-"Val leave me tf alone, I'm trying to program the register to play fornite songs when it depsenses the change"
-"I want to die" followed by furious dabbing
-"Oh this bitch wants extra onion? HAVE FUN SMELLIN LIKE YOU ATE SHREKS ASS"
-"Sorry sir, I could care less about your feelings"
-"VAL WE NEED TOMATOES CUT PRONTO OR THIS LADYS GONNA DIE"
-"If I rob the store and give you $300, would you turn me in"
-"Let's be honest here, Val. I'm going to be working here even after my nursing degree, I better have fun with this"
-casually hosts a seance using deli paper with a pencil written ouji board drawn on it
-"The sandwich gods say NEIGH VAL" Proceeds to yeet my phone into the office
-"Could you find the Aux cord for me, I got in trouble for blaring blood on the dancefloor so they keep hiding it from me"
- awkward fortnite dances
-"LISTEN TO ME VAL, listen. All I'm saying is Pornhub is paying people up to $35k a year for their videos. So if you see me on there mind ya damn business"
-"Did you just eat onions raw.... You fucking heathen"
-Val there's no reason so stab people... Oh he was wearing a ski mask? Then why didn't you fuck him up"
-genuinely confused faces at customers weird ass requests
-"AND I SAID OK BRENDA GO TAKE JOHN TO THE SOCCER GAME NOW"
-"Val you need to remember to put up the wet floor signs or I might just try to get workers comp"
-"YOU WANT WHAT ON THE SIDE??? Oh sure thing ma'am"
-"VAAAAAAL. VAAAAAAAAALL. VAAAAAAALLL- oh hi"
-"DONT FUCKING sneak up on me you little ninja midget you"
-"You know if you slouch a bit more you might qualify for disability for being a midget, get that cash you deserve for God not giving you legs like mine"
-"OH GOOD VAL'S HERE YALL ARE FUCKED" aggressively points at onions
-"VAL HIT THE WHIP" * unholy screeching when I comply *
-"I wish I was alive during the Holocaust, I've always wanted to die in a gas chamber"
-"VAL can I use your coat, it's colder than a taun tauns asshole in a snowstorm on Hoth"
-handing me a cash drop while whispering "If you take it, I didn't see shit"
gummygunk
vaporwave
yousharknotpass
pixelskylines
prguitarman
dailybridgerton
kianamaiart
