“You are one of the ones from whom I do not run away. That is remarkable in itself.”
— Emily Dickinson, from a letter to Ottis P. Lord featured in The Letters of Emily Dickinson (via goxteia)
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@emilydickinsonshistory
“You are one of the ones from whom I do not run away. That is remarkable in itself.”
— Emily Dickinson, from a letter to Ottis P. Lord featured in The Letters of Emily Dickinson (via goxteia)
“September’s Baccalaureate” in Dickinson’s handwriting, from The Manuscript Books of Emily Dickinson
September’s Baccalaureate A combination is Of Crickets—Crows—and Retrospects And a dissembling Breeze That hints without assuming— An Innuendo sear That makes the Heart put up its Fun And turn Philosopher.
“Dear friend, — Your sweetness intimidates” Emily Dickinson, from a letter to Sarah Tuckerman (January 1880)
Oh, my too beloved, save me from the idolatry which would crush us both - "And very Sea - Mark of my utmost Sail" -
Emily Dickinson, letter #560 (1878) to Judge Otis Phillips Lord [Quotation from Shakespeare’s Othello]
Otis Phillips Lord, Edward Dickinson’s old friend and a judge on the Massachusetts supreme court, had studied law at Amherst just before Emily was born and during the first 18 months of her life. He had graduated in 1832, and Amherst had conferred on him an honorary doctor of laws in 1869. He was married to Elizabeth Farley, a high-minded descendant of John Leverett, president of Harvard. They were childless and lived near the Witch House in Salem. The Lords used to stay at the Homestead, and after Edward died, “the dear Lords,” as Emily wrote, continued to visit. The judge appears to have come on his own for a week in October 1875, when Emily, far from reclusive, spoke of his visit as being “with me.” Mrs. Lord died in December 1877, on Emily’s 47th birthday. Over the next few months, Emily turned to the handsome widower – not as a father but as a suitor of sorts. Later, a granddaughter of Dickinson’s confidante Elizabeth Holland suggested that Lord’s tenderness had “long been latent in his feeling for her.” Dickinson expert and Mount Holyoke College professor Christopher Benfey has asserted this possibility more strongly, suggesting in his book A Summer of Hummingbirds that the attraction went back to the summer of 1862, when Lord came to Amherst as commencement speaker. Eighteen years her senior, his gray hair was shading into white; his expression calm and contained – not a man to exact attention, though his grave and upright bearing subdued others, not only the guilty, as he passed judgment. Lord looked stern “as the Profile of a Tree against a winter sky,” Emily ventured to say. He appeared as rigid as Emily’s father, but she had a way with elders of this sort, breezing through their barest branches. Her amusing darts disarmed men of law who were accustomed to wither lesser beings; the drafts of her letters to Lord are witty, confident, open, and playfully physical – hardly the way modest women were meant to behave. Gossip had it that Emily’s sister-in-law, Susan, had been taken aback to break in on the supposed recluse, the image of white-frocked chastity, in the judge’s arms. Lord’s niece Abbie Farley claimed to have heard Susan deplore that embrace. Emily, the niece is reported to have said, had not “any idea of morality.” She was bound to take this view, for Miss Farley, aged 35, was the judge’s heir. She and her mother, Mrs. Lord’s sister, were due to inherit jointly $23,000. Together with another niece on the Farley side (due to inherit $10,000), they kept house for the judge. If he remarried, he would have new claims. “Little hussy,” Abbie fumed over a copy of Emily’s Poems decades later when questioned about the celebrated poet Abbie had once known. “Loose morals,” Abbie remembered. “She was crazy about men. Even tried to get Judge Lord. Insane too.” To Emily herself, Lord’s love was “Improbable.” It would have been unthinkable in her father’s lifetime: his carefully protected daughter permitting such license, and with his old friend. The voice of judgment, “I say unto you” thundering through the startled air at morning prayers, had cleansed impurities from the minds of Edward Dickinson’s listeners. As Emily put it humorously, “Fumigation ceased when Father died.” Now, four years on, that voice no longer ruled. In her late 40s and early 50s, she found herself free to partake of the forbidden tree. With Lord, Emily was unafraid to speak up, inviting a glint of humor she called “the Judge Lord brand.” A smile broke when she teased him with the solemnities of courtroom language. “Crime,” “confess,” “punish,” “penalty,” “incarcerate” were the words she applied to his supposed trial of her as a wanting lover. “I confess that I love him,” she has to admit, but cannot pay the “debt” she owes him. Can her “involuntary Bankruptcy” be a crime? Will he “punish” her? “Incarcerate me in yourself – that will punish me,” she makes bold to suggest. Flashing repartee of this sort exploded into intimacy within months of Mrs. Lord’s death. That year, 1878, there’s immediate talk of consummation. She wasn’t shy when she drafted her letters to Lord: “lift me back, wont you, for only there [in your arms] I ask to be. . . .” He was her “lovely Salem”; she, his “Amherst.” Weekly letters, directed to arrive on Mondays by the judge’s habits of punctuality, bonded Salem and Amherst. Emily’s “little devices to live till Monday” – attempts to concentrate on work – gave way to “the thought of you.” So she said to herself, if not to Salem, in a penciled scrap that breaks into verse celebrating the nature of love (fleet, indiscreet, wrong, and joyful). As a single man, it was no longer proper for Lord to stay at the Homestead on his now more frequent trips to Amherst; he and Emily met in the parlor. There, they held each other while the air about them fanned the question of marriage. In August and September of 1880, he practically lived in Amherst. During this time, they may have entered into some kind of private engagement. Softly, her thin hand is offered to him in response to what she calls “your distant hope.” He leaves saying it had been a “heavenly hour.” How sweet was his candor, she wrote. His racy talk, familiar to colleagues on the bench, called out an unfamiliar side to Emily. “I will not wash my arm,” she said, “twill take your touch away,” and again: “It is strange that I miss you at night so much when I was never with you – but the punctual love invokes you soon as my eyes are shut – and I wake warm with the want sleep had almost filled. . .” The question of marriage came up more seriously in November and December 1882, after Emily’s mother, also named Emily, had died. Eyeing the poet’s thinness, Lord teased her as “Emily Jumbo” (the famous elephant, Jumbo, in Barnum’s circus had recently appeared near Amherst). She tossed the joke back. “Sweetest name, but I know a sweeter – Emily Jumbo Lord. Have I your approval?” He assumed that she was now freed to live with him. He replied, “I will try not to make it unpleasant.” She was touched that he could invite her into his “dear Home” with “loved timidity.” Her answer, as often when she was moved, almost falls into verse. “So delicate a diffidence, how beautiful to see! I do not think a Girl extant has so divine a modesty. You even call me to your Breast with apology! Of what must my poor Heart be made?”
Lyndall Gordan, Lives Like Loaded Guns: Emily Dickinson and Her Family’s Feuds, excerpted from a reprint in The Boston Globe
My little devices to live till Monday* would woo (win) your sad attention - (fill your eyes with Dew) - Full of work and plots and little happinesses the thought of you protracts (derides) them all and makes them sham and cold.
How fleet - how indiscreet an one - how always wrong is Love - The joyful little Deity We are not scourged to serve -
Emily Dickinson, scrap letter #695/J1771 (1881) to Judge Otis Phillips Lord
*During this period of their lives, Dickinson and Lord wrote each other letters every Sunday. Those “little devices” arrived on Monday.
Ned and I were talking about God and Ned said "Aunt Emily - does Judge Lord belong to the Church"? "I think not, Ned, technically." "Why, I thought he was one of those Boston Fellers who thought it the respectable thing to do." "I think he does nothing ostensible - Ned." "Well - my Father says if there were another Judge in the Commonwealth like him, the practice of Law would amount to something." I told him I thought it probable - though recalling that I had never tried any case in your presence but my own, and that, with your sweet assistance - I was murmurless.
Emily Dickinson, letter #560 (1878) to Judge Otis Phillips Lord
We talked with each other about each other Though neither of us spoke -- We were listening to the seconds Races And the Hoofs of the Clock -- Pausing in Front of our Palsied Faces Time compassion took -- Arks of Reprieve he offered to us -- Ararats -- we took --
Emily Dickinson, J1473 (1879). Manuscript here.
Emily Dickinson, A 754, I sometimes have [about 1880] [Emily Dickinson Electronic Archives, Emily Dickinson Collection, Amherst College Archives & Special Collections. Bibl.: Marta L. Werner, Emily Dickinson’s Open Folios. Scenes of Reading, Surfaces of Writing, The University of Michigan Press, Ann Arbor, MI, 1995]
I sometimes have almost feared Language was done between us - if you grew too dear, except for breath, then words flowed softly in like some a shining secret, the Lode of which the miner dreams
– Emily Dickinson, I sometimes have, [to Otis P. Lord], n.d. [about 1880 (source)]
“I was reading a little Book — because it broke my Heart — I want it to break yours — Will you think that fair? I often have read it, but not before since loving you— I find that makes a difference…”
— Emily Dickinson, Letter to Judge Otis Lord (via cryptic-mystic)
A still -- Volcano -- Life -- That flickered in the night -- When it was dark enough to show do Without endangering erasing sight --
A quiet -- Earthquake Style -- Too smouldering subtle to suspect By natures this side Naples -- The North cannot detect
The Solemn -- Torrid -- Symbol -- The lips that never lie -- Whose hissing Corals part -- and shut -- And Cities -- slip -- slide -- melt -- ooze away --
Emily Dickinson, J601 (1862). Manuscript here.
I know that He exists. Somewhere -- in Silence -- He has hid his rare life From our gross eyes.
'Tis an instant's play. 'Tis a fond Ambush -- Just to make Bliss Earn her own surprise!
But -- should the play Prove piercing earnest -- Should the glee -- glaze -- In Death's -- stiff -- stare --
Would not the fun Look too expensive! Would not the jest -- Have crawled too far!
Emily Dickinson, J338 (1862). Manuscript here.
A Clock stopped -- Not the Mantel's -- Geneva's farthest skill Cant put the puppet bowing -- That just now dangled still --
An awe came on the Trinket! The Figures hunched, With pain -- Then quivered out of Decimals -- Into Degreeless Noon --
It will not stir for Doctor's -- This Pendulum of snow -- The Shopman importunes it -- While cool -- concernless No --
Nods from the Gilded pointers -- Nods from the Seconds slim -- Decades of Arrogance between The Dial life -- And Him --
Emily Dickinson, J287 (1861). Manuscript here.
I tie my Hat -- I crease my Shawl -- Life's little duties do -- precisely -- As the very least Were infinite -- to me --
I put new Blossoms in the Glass -- And throw the old -- away -- I push a petal from my Gown That anchored there -- I weigh The time 'twill be till six o'clock I have so much to do -- And yet -- Existence -- some way back -- Stopped -- struck -- my ticking -- through -- We cannot put Ourself away A -- a completed Man Or Woman -- When the Errand's done We came to Flesh -- upon -- There may be -- Miles on Miles of Nought -- Of Action -- sicker far -- To simulate -- is stinging work -- To cover what we are From Science -- and from Surgery -- Too Telescopic Eyes To bear on us unshaded -- For their -- sake -- not for Our's -- 'Twould start them -- We -- could tremble -- But since we got a Bomb -- And held it in our Bosom -- Nay -- Hold it -- it is calm -- Therefore -- we do life's labor -- Though life's Reward -- be done -- With scrupulous exactness -- To hold our Senses -- on --
Emily Dickinson, J443 (1862). Manuscript here.
“Throughout Emily’s letters to Susan, she combines a language of courtly love with terms of spiritual devotion. In 1915, Susan’s daughter Martha Dickinson Bianchi described her Aunt Emily in the Atlantic Monthly, saying: ‘Her devotion to those she loved was that of a knight for his lady.’”
— Ellen Louise Hart and Martha Nell Smith eds., Open Me Carefully: Emily Dickinson’s Intimate Letters to Susan Huntington Dickinson
Read here!
According to Olnek, Mabel’s redacted versions of Emily’s letters set into motion a kind of bias — “Once there was this image of Emily Dickinson, she was a very safe woman to champion, the myth version of her.” This mythical Emily is at the center of Davies’s film, with which Smith is quite familiar: Before A Quiet Passion premiered, Harvard invited Smith to screen it and offer feedback. Just as Olnek eventually did, Smith found the film to be “miserable.” “I was like, Holy shit — I can’t stand this,” Smith says, laughing. “So when he asked me afterwards what I thought of the movie, I said, ‘Everybody who has a passion for Emily Dickinson is just very invested in their particular [vision] of her. And your vision and mine are very, very different from one another.’ I thought, I just don’t want to have a huge fight with him right here.”
Comportment aside, Smith was angry. “Because I knew that he’s a gay director,” she says. “And [Davies’s movie] seemed to me kind of homophobic. But you and I both know that a lot of gay people have internalized homophobia. So I point-blank asked him. We were staying in the same hotel, and we got on the elevator at the same time. He said, ‘You really didn’t like my movie, did you?’ And I said, ‘I didn’t say I didn’t like it, Terence.’ And I just repeated that we had different visions. But I said, ‘By the way, I’m just curious about you reading her letters. How do you square the fact that she wrote Susan Dickinson far more than she wrote anybody else?’ And he looks at me and says, ‘Oh, I didn’t have time to read the letters.’”
...Meanwhile, in A Quiet Passion, Susan is not only a straight woman but a “church mouse,” her famously erudite and well-attended literary salons completely ignored. When I reached out to Davies to ask him to hop on the phone for a conversation about his film and about Emily’s sexuality, his assistant replied as follows:
“As far as Terence is concerned the only person who knew, definitively, about Emily Dickinson’s sexuality was Emily Dickinson; and she may very well have been as confused and conflicted about that as we all can be at times throughout our life. One thing that is certain about the human condition is that nothing is ever new, and whatever she may or may not have felt about her sexuality is just as relevant now as it was, for her, then: as is her poetry. One can see whatever one wants to see when picking through the details of someone else’s existence; but the fact remains that we just don’t know, and Terence believes that it is wrong to try and reach a ‘definitive’ conclusion, because that ‘definitive’ conclusion will always be only speculative; no matter how much circumstantial evidence one puts forward. She was what she was. An incredibly interesting human being and an astonishingly brilliant poet; the only relevance her sexuality had (or has) is how it influenced her poetry, and that we will never know. She remains, and always will be, a beautiful, unknowable, enigma …”
Smith took serious umbrage at this. When I asked for her to respond to Davies’s comment, she wrote back in an email, “If he had read her letters, he would know that Emily changed poems at Susan’s behest. Sad to say that Terence didn’t do his homework (that was painfully obvious in so much that was WRONG with his film). He has a very fixed idea about her and didn’t want to learn more (evidently). But that he didn’t read her letters astonishes me.”
“As much as the world has changed, I think there are still even very liberal people who say, ‘Well, yeah, she had this relationship with Susan. But do we have to use the word lesbian?’ There’s still some who are threatened by that,” says Smith. “And they’re also threatened by their intellectual companionship.” She pauses for a moment. “I’ll just say it: I think a lot of men in particular don’t like that.”
“Davies’s fixed idea about Emily is that she was writing out of lack,” says Smith. “The record shows that she was writing out of abundance.”
—Martha Nell Smith, a Dickinson scholar, eviscerating Terence Davis’ A Quiet Passion (2006)