If we’re bringing up problems in this community, I just want to point out and say how disappointed I am that a lot of the misogyny I’ve faced has surprisingly come from other women. Not to mention grown women that should definitely know better.
I’m not comfortable with doubles and never have been and never will be, but I set my boundaries, block people, and keep to myself, though that hasn’t stopped the people who give us non-sharers a bad name from going after me.
I’ve been called a “slut,” a “whore,” a “bitch,” and many other derogatory words used to degrade and belittle women. I’ve been body shamed, sexually harassed, made to feel unsafe, and worse just for simply loving and being happy with my f/os.
Internalised misogyny amongst the women in this community is a problem that I think should be acknowledged and talked about more often. I feel like it's really overlooked and that’s been bugging me for a while now, especially with how it very much ties into and contributes to the racism poc female shippers also face.
I know misogyny from male shippers is a problem in this community, and I could ramble on for a while about that whole can of worms, but sadly, men degrading and hating on women isn't exactly out of the ordinary in any community or space, online or offline; plus this isn’t the main focus of this post.
Jealousy shouldn't be an excuse to bring other women down; this isn't a competition. I'm not saying you have to be a perfect “girls’ girl” and become bffs with every other female shipper in the community, but if you ever feel uncomfortable or jealous, your first thought absolutely shouldn't be to go into someone's inbox or dms and throw the language/behaviour I just mentioned above at them. As someone who’s been on the receiving end, it’s not fun and it really does hurt.
And obviously this isn't just for the whole jealousy/doubles thing; this also just goes for general disagreements between shippers in this community. If someone's upset you, yeah, that sucks, but there is literally no scenario ever where blatant misogyny is justified, whoever it may be from. Just because you're a woman doesn't mean you get some kind of magical pass that men don’t; it’s embarrassing and just means you have a lot to work on and a lot of internalised sexist beliefs to unlearn.
(Pro/Comshippers + Neutrals fuck off! This post ain’t for you!)
