Emmy

bipolar mess

[local-lesbian-tree-demon]

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of

[emmy-has-issues]

lately in life, i’ve learned i have an army behind me. an army of people who will be there for me, those especially who i didnt think would be but are. and those people, are my chosen family. and i cannot thank them enough

[emmy-has-issues]

i’m not okay. i try and try to show face that i am okay when in reality i’m not. idk how long i will be like this, but its bad and i’m not taking care of myself. i feel alone, but i know i have an army behind me. the amount of people who i have in my corner is more than i could ever imagine, but i feel so alone in this phase of life because the army behind me hasnt lived this trauma that i have to deal with.

[emmy-has-issues]

how do you mourn someone who’s still alive? i mean, i’m trying to start the grieving process. my fathers dieing. my fsthers really sick. liver cancer. he doesn’t have much longer to live. at least he got to watch me get married.

[emmy-has-issues]

sigh🫩

she put bad thoughts in my mind about my fathers health. fucking bitch

mother in law from hell

[emmy-has-issues]

the weather is warming up. the sun rises as i leave for wor and sets as i pull in the driveway each night. i feel a purpose again

[emmy-has-issues]

lmao shes fucking wasted texting me “what about a firehouse wedding” someone shoot me

[emmy-has-issues]

is she stupid? seriously? i’m genuinely asking. is she stupid? my mil has got to be stupid. why wont she get it?

[soulandwine]

[emmy-has-issues]

why cant i have a normal MIL?????????? WHY WONT SHE FUCKING LISTEN TO HER SON OR ME ABOUT OUR FUCKING WEDDING LOCATION. IS SHE RETARDED. probably. no. shes just an alcoholic. who wont stop drunk texting me. someone sedate me

[emmy-has-issues]

is it bad i havent thought of her unless something reminds me of her? i dont go searching. i don’t go asking questions. cold turkey cut her off. she reached out on my birthday, buti didnt for hers. just a simple “happy birthday” but i couldnt bring myself to. the pain i get from the reminders, rare, but they do happen. why couldnt she realize her words dug deeper into a wound more than an i’m sorry could heal. it will be a year in may since i last saw her. july will have a year since spoken to. her selfishness towards MY WEDDING. MINE. NOT HERS. FUCKING MINE. glad she took the exit so i didnt have to. but should i give closure. doesnt she deserve it? i choose to be selfish and say no, but is that the wrong/bad thing? i wish her nothing but the best, hope she heals internally in her mind body and soul, because she WAS that person, full of hope and peace, and it turned to hatred, no, jealousy. seeping jealousy.

she was jealous. she was always jealous.

i dont feel bad anymore. i’m okay w being the bad guy in her story.

[havingapoemwithyou]

Imaginary Conversation by Linda Pastan

[emmy-has-issues]

sometimes i sit and wonder what it would be like if you weren’t such a selfish self centered bitch.

[emmy-has-issues]

A chapter is ending.

not just ending, but ending positive for the first time in 25 years. a new opportunity has opened, a DREAM for me. a dream job. I gad to leave the beat job i’ve ever had. i can’t contain my tears. sorry for grammar. i feel like i’m back on the right path. i’m so emotional right now but for potisive reasons. i’ve met such good people at my previous job. thnk you to my coworkers who will probs never see this <3 yall mean the world to me. thank you so very much for everything. i’ll never forget y’all. y’all taught me to know what its like when a job cares. y’all opened me to new experiences and i couldn’t be more grateful.

for now, my life is going right. and for once, i’m not sewer slidal.

for once…… I’m okay. honestly, i’m more than okay.

my babcia always told me everything would br alright. and everythings alright for once

❤️

[emmy-has-issues]

new year, new house. my own house. my own space to work out. ive been starving again at lunch at work. i skip lunch. i dont breakfast. i just drink a hot tea on the bus to work.

[emmy-has-issues]

guess who aimt afraid to pull trig anymore🤩

[hugefornow]

It’s weird that I could have everything I want, and I’m not making it happen. It’s pathetic.