Pairing: Dr. Jack Abbot x female!reader
Warnings: domestic established relationship, breast massage for pain relief, comfort.
Summary: After a double shift, Jack helps soothe the ache of a long day.
Jack is about to say something about ordering takeout, but the words catch in his throat when he looks inside the bedroom.
Youâve already kicked off your sneakers and shed your jeans. Standing at the foot of the bed in just your sweatpants, you grab the hem of your t-shirt, and pull it over your head, letting it drop to the bed.
Next comes the real relief.
You reach back, unhooking your bra thatâs been digging into your ribs for the last hours. With a groan of comfort, you toss it onto the nightstand. You cup your breasts, using your hands to gently massage the aching skin where the wires had been pressing and trapping heat all day, trying to get the blood flowing again.
Jack stands there for a moment, his gaze softening. The sheer domesticity of the scene makes something melt in him.
He steps fully into the room. "Everything okay, doll?" he asks.
You look up, letting out a smile. "Yeah. Just... bras are brutal after a double shift. It feels like they're trying to bruised my ribs by the end of the day."
Jack closes the distance between you.
"Bra problems require expert care," he teases softly, his hands coming to rest gently on your hips. He leans down to press a soft kiss to your forehead. "Let me take over? My hands are warm, and I happen to have an excellent bedside manner."
You smile, tilting your head. "Is that an official medical recommendation, Dr. Abbot?"
"Strictly therapeutic," he murmurs.
Jack turns you, his chest brushing against your bare back as he closes the distance. You instinctively lean into him, letting out a soft sigh as he supports you.
He wraps his arms around your waist for a brief second, pressing a warm kiss to the crook of your neck.
"Relax, doll," he whispers warmly against your skin.
He slides his hands upward, his palms completely warm against your skin as they replace your own. His hands cup you gently, immediately bringing a sense of relief to the ache.
Jack knows exactly how much pressure to apply, using his thumbs to trace the red indentations left behind by the underwire, smoothing over the irritated skin in slow circles.
You let your eyes close, completely melting against him. Your back is pressed flat against his chest, feeling the steady, calming thud of his heartbeat beneath his shirt.
"Better?" Jack asks softly, his chin resting lightly on your shoulder as his hands continue their soothing, rhythmic motion.
"So much better," you murmur, closing your eyes and letting your head rest back against his shoulder. "You're hired permanently."
"Good, because I don't plan on quitting my job," Jack chuckles. He presses a tender kiss to the side of your neck, his thumbs smoothing over your skin, content to just hold you and soothe away the stress of the day for as long as you need.
summary: When you've been feeling sick for a few weeks, Jack expects to face the worst. But a trip to the emergency room reveals something he never expected. And you have to face the fact you're there for each other in sickness and health... and everything between.
warnings: pregnancy, mentions of abbot being a widower, lots of uncertainty and anxiety, age gap (but reader is implied to be a bit older), talks about infertility/ trouble getting pregnant. let me know if I need to add anything!
notes: had this idea a few days ago and like the devious baby fever pilled gal I am and managed to bang it out in two evenings. thank you jack abbot for being my current muse.
Jackâs work shoes squeak against the linoleum floor, his heavy footsteps echoing down the empty hospital hall. Heâs running, a layer of sweat already beading at his temple. The glass ambulance bay door hits the wall with a teeth chattering thud. Jack is almost suprised it didn't shatter with his thrust.Â
He pants, eyes scanning the hospitalâs back lot, trying to find the ambulance he knew was on his way.Â
âMr. Abbot, we have your wife here- she fainted in the grocerâs parking lotâŠâ
Jack knew he shouldn't have left you. He'd had a feeling. The looming dread that had been creeping up on him the past couple of weeks.Â
You'd been feeling out of it for a while now. A lethargic and nauseating achiness you couldn't quite shake, no matter how much tylenol or herbal teas youâd tried.Â
You had played it off as nothing. Just a headache that came and went. An upset stomach due to the day old chinese food youâd eaten.Â
âIt's fine, Jack. Iâm just tired.â
âAre you sure?âÂ
âIâm okay. Iâm here. You don't have to worry.â
But Jack worried.Â
He was always worrying.Â
He knew that little things sometimes added up to a bigger, meaner somethings. That if you missed the signs, you might catch it too late.Â
What exactly? Jack wasn't sure. He didnât particularly want to find out.
But he sure as hell wasn't gonna let you blow it off now.Â
His heart pounds as the ambulance finally pulls into the bay, the emergency lights blaring an ugly red and orange. Jack bary registers the EMT saying hello to him, his eyes focused on your splayed out form, laying on the gurney.Â
âHey baby,â he says, voice cracking slightly.Â
âJack,â you look up at him blearily, your eyes hazy, a bandage already taped to your forehead. Jack is quick to come by your side as the EMT lowers the gurney, his hand running over the back of your hair.
âOne of the bystanders said she hit her head going down. It's not too bad. Just needs some cleaning. Same for her legs,â the EMT says to Jack as she watches him carefully lift the bandage.Â
Jack lets out a shaky breath, pressing a kiss to the top of your head and leading your gurney back into the Pitt.Â
âWhat the hell Jack. You just ran off-â Robby calls out, watching Jack come back in. He stops once he sees you, your scraped up knees and bandaged head, the confused expression on your face. âWhat happened?âÂ
âShe fainted. Weâll need to start her on an iv, get her fluids and run a couple of blood tests. Do you still feel dizzy?â
âI donât⊠Jack, whatâs going on?â You look up at Jack, confused, panic written across your face. Jack looks back at the EMT who shakes her head.
âShe was having trouble remembering the fall. Only remembers her headache and feeling sick.âÂ
Jack remembers how you had looked this morning. The purple bruises around your eyes and the wince you'd tried to hide when he said goodbye.Â
âI don't have to go in today. Shen can cover if Robby really needs him to.â
âGo Jack. They need you more than me.â
He should have known better.Â
Robby comes beside the railing of the gurney, helping to pull it into a trauma room. You look around, your chest beginning to rise and fall quicker as your eyes begin to clear of the confused fog.
âWhatâs going on?âÂ
âJack, stay with your wife.â
âI am with her,â he throws back at Robby, turning to grab the bag of fluids Princess was moving to hand him.
âNo. Stay with her as Jack. Not Dr. Abbot,â Robby tosses back, gesturing to your wide and fearful eyes. Jack swallows thickly, torn.Â
Especially when you groan, turning towards Robby and vomiting off the side of the gurney railing.Â
Jackâs heart hurts, pounding heavily against his sternum. You were here. The one place he hated seeing you.
Jack knows he can help take care of you right now. Bandage you up and order labs. He can solve the mystery behind why you were suddenly so ill. Why you havenât been feeling well lately.Â
He can handle that. Dr. Jack Abbot, night attending and army vet, can handle bad news.
But just Jack. Mr. Jack Abbot, loving husband and worried widower, cannot.Â
He canât take another bad diagnosis.
Jack looks up at Robby whoâs helping Princess clean up the vomit, and then back at you. And he makes a decision.
âHey,â Jack says, pushing down the railing on his side of your gurney and sitting on the edge. âHey, honey-â He takes your head in his hands, taking the damp cloth Robby hands him and helping to clean your face.Â
Jack sits with you, his scrub top abandoned, his hand clasped tightly over yours. He watches as the color slowly comes back into your face, helps you take a sip of juice when your hand trembles too much to hold the cup. He stays silent for it all, Robby cleaning and bandaging your scrapes, Perlah coming in to draw your blood, the hospital gown Princess helps you into. He watches it all with a wariness. An awful churning in his gut.
A fear gnawing away at him.Â
âJack,â you whisper, squeezing his hand. He hums, glancing up at you from where he was sitting beside your gurney. âItâs going to be alright.âÂ
âI know,â he whispers back. You hadnât said much to each other. Mostly hushed whispers and clinging to each other's hand. Like raising your voices was too much for the already overstimulating hospital room.
Jackâs knee is bouncing up and down anxiously. He couldnât help it, his mind turning over the many diagnoses, the myriad of things that could be wrong with you. You gently wrangle your hand out of his iron grip, reaching over to rest it on his jostling knee. Jack stills at the feeling of your warm palm over the fabric of his scrub pants, swallowing. You smile.
âWhatever it is⊠weâll be okay.âÂ
"I know," Jack repeats again. But it's hard to really believe it.
He's been here once before. A hospital room just like this. The woman he loves loved sitting by his side. Slowly wasting away. And he didnât even know it.Â
He sees the symptoms, too familiar and painful. The exhaustion and fatigue that wore you down. The migraines and brain fog, lethargicness and nausea that plagued you. He sees it and he knows. Whatever labs Robby is currently looking at holds a future heâs not sure heâs ready for.Â
You sigh, your hand moving upwards to run through his salt and pepper curls. They had already been mussed and messed up from his own hand raking through them. Jack sighs at the feeling, closing his eyes and leaning his head against your side. You hum, holding him close.
âI didnât even get to do any shopping. I just⊠passed out in the parking lot.âÂ
âDonât worry about that,â Jack mumbles into your gown. âIâll order some groceries for delivery later.â
âI really wanted to get that new cream cheese to try. The one with the jalapenos.â You sigh. âGosh, I wish they could just inject that into my iv. Maybe Iâd perk up faster.â
Jack canât help but crack a smile. You hum happily, still petting his hair.Â
âThere he is.â Jack looks up at you, his mouth open to say something. To apologize for worrying. For being so scared.
But he doesnât get a chance.
The door to your room opens, Robbyâs familiar silhouette shadowing behind the curtain.
âJack?â
Jack clears his throat. âYeah?âÂ
Robby peeks his head through the fabric.Â
âIâve got the test results back.â He comes in and sits down on the stool by the foot of your bed with a grunt. You give Jack a nervous look, your hand finding his again. He takes it, squeezing gently. Grounding. Robby clears his throat.Â
âWell, your blood panels came back fine. No signs of infection or disease.â
âSoâŠwhat is it? Whatâs wrong with her?â Jack asks, swallowing thickly. Robby looks down at the lab work in his hands, peering over the frames of his glasses at the two of you.
âNothing.âÂ
The word hits harder than Jack could have expected. Of all the things he had anticipated-
You frown, looking confused.
âNothing,â you repeat, the question no louder than a breath of air. Robby smiles and nods.
âWell, nothing that wonât go away in nine months. Congratulations kids. You're gonna have a baby."Â
Both of you go very still. Your mouth falls open, Jackâs eyes practically bug out of his head. Robby sits there smugly, folding the lab results over.
âAâŠâ Jack starts, trailing off as he leans forward. Surely heâd heard Robby wrong.
âI- a baby?â You ask, dumbstruck.Â
âHmm.â Robby nods. âFrom what I can tell youâre roughly six weeks along. Of course, youâd need an ultrasound and larger blood panel to be able to tell more accurately.âÂ
âPregnant,â Jack breathes. His eyes dart around the room, finally meeting Robbyâs. âBut how?â
Robby raises an eyebrow.
âItâs a simple process. I donât think I have to explain the exact mechanics on conceiving to you Jack-â
"No, I know- I mean how... I can't even...
"We aren't exactly prime candidates for conceiving," you finish for Jack.
He can feel your fingers wrap tighter around his hand, your shoulder brushing against his.
Robby gives you a look, his features softening. âI know. I know, I donât know why. It happens. Sometimes fertility problems resolve themselves. No on can pinpoint why exactly. Could be hormonal changes, medication changes, reduced stress-â
You and Jack finally glance over at each other. He looks at you, eyes raking over your face, the glimmer of hope you were trying to hide. And it hits him.
The sabbatical, he thinks. The long overdue vacation he'd finally gotten around to taking.Â
Three months without either of you worrying about work or patients. Three months of just the two of you; long walks in the park, lazy mornings spent in bed. Decadent yet nutritious dinners and way too many trips to the ice cream shop down the street.Â
Leaving behind the worries of your every day.Â
The sabbatical heâd finally come back from not even a few weeks ago. Just before you had begun to get sick-
You're the first to smile. A small curve upwards, more nervous than anything.Â
"I'm pregnant."Â
Jack breathes heavily in his chair.Â
âYou are,â Robby smiles. You take a shaky breath, unsure of what to say. âThereâs quite a few things weâll have to go over. Iâm sure Jack knows this speech like the back of his hand, but itâs still customaryâŠâ
Jack is half listening as Robby goes on about the usual procedure. The prenatal vitamins youâll need, the appointments youâll have to set up. The safety precautions and symptoms and internal changes. The risks considering Jack was older and you werenât very young yourself.
Jack is so far zoned out he doesnât even realize youâre calling his name.
âJack. Honey," you shake his shoulder, frowning. âAre you okay?âÂ
Jack opens his mouth, looking between you and Robby. He glances once at your stomach. Hidden behind the hospital gown. Looking exactly like it had yesterday.Â
But it was different. There wasnât some disease growing inside you. Some foreign thing making you sick and slowly sucking the life out of you.
There was a baby growing there. You were sick because you were making another life.Â
Jack is hit by the realization that for the next nine months, you were going to be going through all kinds of changes. All kinds of hurdles and milestones.Â
A baby.
Jack suddenly feels sick.
âI have to go,â he blurts, shaking your hand off of his shoulder and beelining out of the hospital room.
âJack!â You call out, your voice raising with surprise.Â
âI just need some air!â
Jack doesnât turn back. He canât. He canât let you see the utter terror written on his face.Â
He marches down the hall, ignoring the looks the nurses give him, the confusion Trinity and Mel share as he storms out down the crowded hallway and to the stairwell.
You find Jack outside. Not on the roof like youâd panicked heâd be.Â
Robby had come back, shaking his head, trying to calm your racing heart.
No. After finally convincing Robby to let you help him look, You find Jack sitting on one of the benches in the park across the way from PTMC. Heâs sitting there, elbows braced against his knees, staring off into the distance.
You approach him carefully, blades of grass crunching beneath the slip on clogs the hospital provided. Your clothes feel cold against you, comforting and familiar after the scratchy hospital gown. You glance back at Robby who stands at the edge of the park. He nods, encouraging you to keep going.Â
As you get closer, you realize Jackâs not just staring off at nothing. You catch sight of his eyes, focused and glistening beneath the late afternoon light. You follow his sight line, watching a little family on the other side of the park. A broad shouldered man tossing a foam ball to a toddler girl, her mother laughing as her girl toddles about.Â
You watch Jack for a moment, staying out of his sight line. You don't have to try very hard to guess what he's thinking about. The sheer amount of worry and confusion he's feeling.Â
You felt it yourself. The whiplash of expecting the worst outcome only to learn you were carrying something wonderful. There was still the nervousness of what the future would look like.Â
The schedules that would need rearranging, the house child proofed, your office room cleared out in space for another little person. Doctors appointments and ultrasound photos taped to the fridge, onesies and books and diapers tucked away in a closet.Â
In spite of the excitement you felt, the confused yet exhilarating feeling of knowing you were going to be a mother, you were scared.Â
There was a whole person you'd have to take care of. You'd have to grow and birth. You weren't exactly a spry chicken. Neither was Jack. And there were more risks and complications that came with that.
On top of all the things that came with pregnancy.Â
You might not be dying from some malady. But pregnancy was no small thing either.Â
You finally take a step forward, placing your hand gently on Jackâs shoulder. He snaps out of his stupor, back straightening, a panic written in his eyes.
âYou shouldnât be up-â
âIâm okay.â He frowns. You point to the space beside him on the bench. âCan I sit?âÂ
Jack nods, scooting over a bit. You sit. Jack wipes his eyes with the palm of his hand; being closer now, you can see theyâre red rimmed and glassy. He doesnât look at you. Not at first.
But heâs the first to open his mouth again.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have run out of there. That was a dick move."
You swallow against the thick lump in your throat, trying to keep the well of anger rising at bay. It wasnât hard to. The fear and anxiety laid bare in Jackâs voice. The thoughts he tried so hard to hide from you unveiled.Â
You nod. âYeah. It kinda was."Â
He takes a breath, reaching out to hold your hand. You take it, his thumb brushing along the ridge of your knuckles.
"I just... this whole time I was worried I was going to lose you. I kept thinking about all the ways Iâd have to watch you die. All the treatments or surgeriesâŠâ he chuckles dryly. âI was so worried about you. And now all Iâm thinking about is how weâre going to have a kid walking down the aisle in a cap and gown when Iâm 70.âÂ
You sigh, the breeze a gentle comfort as it blows against your cheeks.
âThat's all youâre thinking about? College already?â You give his hand a small, loving squeeze. Teasing. A clearing amidst the stormy turmoil you both had been worrying over.
âWell,â he shrugs slowly. âYou know, between wondering if the pregnancy will hold. Or birth. Or what elementary school drop offs will look like and dinners and the house and my crazy schedule-â
âI know. I know, itâs a lot.â
Jack nods. âIt is⊠and Iâm scared.â
You look at him. Your heart aches with the pure sincerity written on his face. Jack was never one to hide his feelings. But he rarely gave them away easily. Not like this.
Truth written in the glassy mist of his eyes, the worry carried in the tightness of his hand around yours.
âI know,â you nod. âI know itâs not going to be easy. Robby explained the risks.âÂ
The long list of complications and genetic disorders and risky side effects run through your mind. You hadnât known just how fragile pregnancy became the older you got. It was just never something that had crossed your mind. To think or worry about. But nowâŠ
You continue.
âI know this wasnât what we had planned, Jack. Us. Having kids⊠and I know you may not want- may not think we can do this. But I donât think this is such a bad thing.â
Jackâs eyes widen, his frown deepening.
âWhat, woah. No I donât want you thinking that. I donât- I donât think that.âÂ
âReally?â You take a deep breath, hopeful. Jack finally smiles. A small and gentle quirk of his mouth.
âReally. And Iâm sorry if I made you feel that way. I just⊠I didnât think that I could have one.âÂ
âA baby?â You clarify. He nods.
âI told you about what happened in the army. With my leg and, well, everything else. And you told me having kids wasnât exactly going to be easy for you.â Itâs your turn to nod.
Between Jackâs injury and age, your genetics and seemingly lackluster fertility, a baby had just never been a part of your plan. And you were fine with it. Life was crazy enough as it was.
âI know. But here we are.â
Jack nods, looking out into the park again. Heâs watching the small family again, eyes glued to the man as he hoists his giggling daughter into his arms.
âHere we are,â he mumbles.Â
âWe donât have to figure everything out right now Jack. Thereâs still time.âÂ
âSeven months and two weeks,â he huffs. You chuckle.
Robby makes Jack leave the hospital early with you.Â
Although Jack would use the term âmakeâ loosely, considering he had already decided he wasnât staying the moment he saw you in the ambulanceâs hull. Youâre cleared to leave not long after Robby drags the both of you back into the ED, making sure to stop by the pharmacy to pick up your new prescriptions.Â
The prenatal vitamins and nausea medication sit among Jackâs own clutter of meds on the kitchen counter. Jack told you not to worry about groceries or the car still at the store. Heâd take care of all of it in the morning.
For now, he just wanted to clean away the sterile smell of the hospital lingering on both of your clothes and get to bed.
Heâs grateful, for once, that you're exhausted enough to fall asleep the minute your head hits the pillow. Youâre breathing softly beneath the sheets before Jack can even pull his prosthetic off, your hand lain out on his side, like you still wanted him to hold it unconsciously.Â
But sleep doesnât come for him. Jack lays awake for a long while.Â
The moonlight casts wispy shadows along the wall and he watches them, thinking. He plays with his wedding ring, twirling it between his fingers with mesmerizing ease.Â
Not the ring you'd slipped onto his left hand years ago, the dark amber band that still glistens on his ring finger. Jack plays with the wedding ring he wore a long time ago, still a young man figuring things out. From his first marriage. His first wife.
It wasn't often he pulled the ring out. Sometimes it hurt too much to even look at it; to think about and remember her. Jack fiddles with the ring now, holding it against his lips as if he could whisper all his worries into it.
The worries which still rested in the side of his ribs, changed but there all the same. Jack canât help but think of all the things he never got to do with her. The future theyâd planned cut short by an illness he couldnât cure. Maybe itâs why he felt so scared now.Â
This unplanned thing laid out before him. Far out of his control.
Jack tosses and turns, his mind reeling with memories and thoughts about the future. He quietly gets up, setting the ring on his nightstand and fitting his prosthetic back on. He slips out of your bedroom, making sure you were still settled before wandering down the hall.
Heâd always wanted to be a father. That wasnât the problem. Hearing that you were pregnant had resurfaced those feelings like theyâd never been buried. The idea of having a mini him, with matching curls and crooked smile. Or a mini you, with your bright eyes and pretty nose.
The problem was that desire had been locked away for a very long time. After he got injured in the army. After he became a widow. Even after he met you. Jack had begun to accept that being someoneâs parent was just not in the cards heâd been dealt. But nowâŠ
Jack stands in the living room, staring around the dark room. He moves quietly, picking up a random glass and setting it in the kitchen, moving the tossed couch pillows back into their designated places. He canât sit still when he tries. The air suffocating inside in spite of the cooling system blowing gently.
Jack ends up sitting outside on the back porch, his head in his hands.Â
What would she have thought? After all this time.Â
A baby.Â
Jackâs not even sure he should begin to want this. To let himself hope. There was so much uncertainty with a later in life pregnancy, of an older parent conceiving a child. The constant what ifs and complications. So much to worry about.
Jack sighs, running a hand through his mussed curls as he realizes how tired he is. Of feeling on edge. Of never feeling like he could settle. The worry of something bad happening again. Of being all alone-
A noise sounds from the bushes running along the fence.
Leaves rustle softly, twigs crunching beneath something weighty. Jack looks up, brows furrowing. He squints, standing and flipping on the porch light to illuminate the dark backyard. The rustling sounds again, and Jack inches closer.
He pauses. And then he lets out a disbelieving laugh, instantly quieting himself.
The rabbit which had ducked back into the foliage at the sound of his voice peeks itâs head out again in the new silence. Her nose twitching, beady black eyes staring straight into Jack. He lets out a breath, in awe of the rare sight. He knew there were plenty of rabbits that lived around the neighborhood. He often saw where they burrowed through your garden or ate certain plants. But actually seeing one was rarer.
Of all the nightsâŠ
He goes still when the rabbit moves. Inching slowly out of the bush. She turns back, snuffling softly and moving forward again. A baby in tow.
Now, Jack was not a very superstitious man. At least, not by nature. He laughed when Ellis chastised him for saying the âqâ word in the ED, rolled his eyes when Joy and Nazely talked about karma.
But if life had taught Jack anything, it was to never ignore the signs.Â
He watches the pair of rabbits hop through the backyard, eyes following their path until they squeeze through the cracked boards of the fence, disappearing into the night. Jack lets out a slow and much needed exhale, the cool air of the night finally feeling fresh.
New.
Second chances that don't always happen every day.
Baby rabbit.Â
Baby Abbot.
He liked the sound of that. And maybe, this time, there wouldnât be so much to worry about. Not with you by his side.Â
"Jaack!" You call out from the kicthen, where you're putting the first few bags of groceries away.
"Yeah?" Jack's voice echoes down the hall, the sound of more paper bags rustling.
"Did you get- never mind!" You grin as you find the tub of cream cheese you'd been dying to get your hands on, practically tearing the package open and digging in. You let out a satisfied hum as you eat a spoonful of the spicy spread, nodding in satisfaction.
Jack enters the kitchen, arms full of groceries, an amused look on his face.
"As good as you'd hoped it'd be?" You hum again.
"Better. I think your child already has great taste in cuisine."
Jack stills for a fraction of a second, then smiles. He sets down the bags and moves over by your side, pressing a kiss to your forehead, carefully around the tender cut still hidden by a bandage.
"Yeah they do."
You both put away the food and various household items you'd needed to stock up on. Trash bags and pasta, that lavender creamer you loved and Jack's protein bars he always carried in his scrub pockets.
You munch on a bagel- properly toasted and spread with your cream cheese because Jack insisted on at least being civilized about your cravings- going through the last bag. The bag crinkles as you feel around inside; you frown as your hand comes into contact with something soft. Fluffy. You peer inside.
A little stuffed bunny peers back at you. You stare at it for a moment, and then you laugh.
"Jack?"
"What?" He asks, folding the towel he'd just used to wash his hands. You smile, holding up the bunny. His ears go pink and he gives you a bashful grin.
"I just thought... well I thought it might be cute for the baby. You know, rabbits are thought to be good luck charms or something."
hey, i don't know if you do request, but what about brendon Park x wife!medical malpractice attorney? and they have a kid together who needs urgent medical attention for a sprained ankle, aaaand she is just as intimidating as park. u can feel the pressure and tension in that room for both having the shark and a well recognized medical malpractice attorney
okay I did peds reader bc theyâre almost the same??? lol
brendon park x peds wife!reader
SHALLOW WATERS
"what've we got?" robby asked as the paramedics wheeled in.
"11 year old male, bp 119/73, HR 111, RR 20. apparently he took a fall; reporting pain to the left ankle." the EMT leaned in closer. talking in his ear. "neighbors called it in."
the attendings eyebrows drew in. âparents?" the medic tipped his head toward the kid discreetly. "he said his parents were at workâ didn't say where. but he was adamant about coming here.â
robby glanced at the boy then back to the EMT. almost as if needing clarification. âwe were closer to Presby.â
it wasnât new to have patients rerouted. but it wasnât something theyâd ask for. especially by someone this kid's age. if his condition was worse, they wouldâve taken him to Presby. no hesitation.Â
âhis name?â
âHenryâ didnât get the last. we were trying to get his heart rate down, his adrenaline was high.â the medic explained. âbesides his request to come here, he didnât talk much after that. I assumed he was still in shock from the pain.â
âand the neighbors didnât say anything else? where his parents are or where they work?â robby needed something. the medic shook his head. ânot to me.â his head turning over to his partner. âPzsonyiâ did the couple tell you anything about the parents?â
âsaid they were doctors.â
and he was adamant about coming here.
âthat should narrow it down. not like we have a hospital full of thoseââ robby said sarcastically. âwe got it from here.â
robby turned and walked towards where the nurses were. the blonde already fixed on him as he approached.
âyou good?â dana asked as she watched over the rim of her glasses.
Robbyâs hands went behind his neck as he blew out a breath. âWhy wouldnât I be?â
he then looked over his shoulder where the boy was across the floor of the department. âthe 11 year old patient that just came inâ his head gestured back. Danaâs eyes following. âwould you be able to work your magic and get his emergency contacts? came in without anyone. according to the EMT, his parents work here.â
the charge nurse's eyes pinched a bit.Â
"they work here?"Â
Robby shrugged. âIâm not for sure,â Dana gave him a look, rolling her eyes.
âone of the medics said his parents were doctors and the other told me the boy was insistent on coming here. Itâs a long shot but I could only assume.â robby scratched his beard. Dana gave him a nod. âIâll see what I can do.â
His hands clapped together, grasping one another as he gave her a tight lipped smile. A silent thank you before he turned to leave. heading over to where Henry was.
Jesse was with him. A smile on the boy's face despite his damp cheeks.Â
âHenry, right?â robby started as he grabbed some gloves. blue eyes stared back at him, then a nod. a quiet âyes sirâ given.
it was a small movement. the corner of Robbyâs mouth lifted up.Â
Respectful.
his attention turned to Jesse. â500 mg of acetaminophen, 350mg of ibuprofen. and letâs get him in for xrays.â Jesse nodded as he gets the meds ready.
âWeâre gonna get a hold of your mom and dad, Henryâ let them know youâre here.â robby circled back to the patient. The attending watching. The boyâs lips parting before licking the bottom. almost as if it was on the tip of his tongue and he decided against it. âOkay.âÂ
âI hear theyâre doctors here, any chance I mightââ
âRobinavitch.â Dana peeked in. Robby glanced up. The charge nurse's head tipped the other way. âa word.â
Robby gave Henryâs shoulder squeeze. âIâll be right back, in the mean time, Jesse here,â hand motioning to the tall male nurse, âaaaandâ Robbyâs head swiveled. eyes catching two of his students.
Student and first year resident.
âWhitaker. Ogilvie.âÂ
the two turned when they heard their names. Robby signaling them over.
âDr. Whitaker and Dr. Ogilvie,â
âStudent Doctor.â James interrupted with a finger up. Robby paused and nodded. âRightâ are going to assist.âÂ
âDr. Robby, we donâtââ whitakerâs words fell short as the older man delivered a shoulder pat. âYou got this.â gloves snapped off as he sailed out. The blonde was standing in the hall with pressed lips, tablet held to her chest, and an amused glint in her eyes.
âDid you work your magic?âÂ
A smile stretched across Danaâs face. âI feel like youâre gonna regret asking me.â she laughed. âI didâ and youâre never gonna guess who mom and dad are.âÂ
Robby eyed her. âWho?â
Dana flickered her sight a few feet away to where the boys were. her finger pointing to the younger one who sat on the hospital bed.
âyouâve got a baby shark in there.â
Robby blinked. then let out a laugh.
not a nervous one and not an amused one. It was one someone gave when they were just given information they couldn't fathom. Or really, didnât like. Almost like not wanting to hear what they were just told even if they asked for it and now they were suffering the consequences.
that kind of laugh.Â
âof course they are.â hands rubbing his eyes as he fell back onto the heels of his feet. âAre we sure?â he squinted as he crossed his arms over his chest.
Dana grinned. âOh, Iâm sure.âÂ
âDid you already let them know?â robby asked.
âAnd what? risk the chance of there being blood in the water because I waited to tell them that their son was down here. What are you fucking kidding me? Of course I told them.â the charge nurse gave him a wide look as if not believing he really just asked a stupid question.Â
He was a man afterall.Â
Robby blew out a breath. âFuckâ okay. When are theyââ his question answered when you guys approach.Â
âPark.â
It was rare to see you both down here at the same time. Not that it never happened, it was just unexpected. The interns said it felt wrong. like seeing a shark itself in the shallow waters.
You hadnât even acknowledged robby; passing right by. Brendon barely sparing a nod.Â
âBetter not have anyone incompetent with my son.âÂ
Henry looked up when he heard his dad. A wide smile stretching when he saw his mom.Â
Your persona was washed off. Not at all caring that you were completely exposed. Out in the open. Your hand caressing his cheek, his smaller one on top.Â
âAre you okay?â a quiet ask. eyes watching him as he nods. âIâm okay.âÂ
A satisfied smile before you press a kiss to his forehead. Squeezing his cheeks in your grasp.
Whitaker and Ogilvie just stared. One not wanting to interrupt and probably too scared to do so, while the other stood with wide eyes. His mouth parted like a fish out of water.
Brendon pressed another kiss to the other side of his head. before his eyes lift to his boy's foot. an ice pack resting on his ankle.
âis he on meds?â Brendon asked as he leaned up. his hand brushing against his sonâs hair before pulling gloves out of his scrub pocket. snapping them on.
â500 mg of acetaminophenâ 350mg of ibuprofen.â Robby clarified. arms crossed as he nodded.
âiced the area toââ âIâm not blind.â
Whitaker closed his mouth.
âdad.â brendons eyes caught his sons. the boy giving him an unimpressed look that you knew he inherited from the man in front of him. âdonât interrupt.â
your suppress a smile. his words sounded familiar.
brendon cleared his throat. âfinish.â gaze on the r1 for a split second before he diverts it.
Whitaker looks to robby, then looks to you then the young boy. he knows now how Ogilvie felt. only this time it was a little more reassuring knowing the kid had his back. he didnât know if that made him feel better or worse.
âWe uhâ just iced to reduce the swelling, elevation above heart level. bp now, 105/61, HR 89, 99 on roomâŠ.â his eyes finding Henryâs. the youngest park giving him a thumbs up.
âxray?â you asked from the side. "dr. robby already had them in order.â whitaker verbalised.
âweâre still waiting to get him in.â the attending intervened quietly. you slowly peeled yourself away from your son. "I'll be backâ make sure dad doesn't kill anyone." you joke drily as you leave.
it earns a giggle from the kid.
Ogilvie, who had been surprisingly quiet, turns to where you just left. eyes wide as his head spins. âwas she being seriousââ
"It was just one time." Henry shrugs.
"One?â Whitaker and Ogilvie echo. Robbyâs lips pursing as he watches in amusement. head shaking at how easy it was to reel them in.
Summary: There are some fears even Superman can't outrun.
Word count: 4.2k+
Warnings: heavy angst
A/N:
English is not my first language, so I apologize if I made any (grammar) mistakes. Feedback, requests, talks, vents, recommendations or just simple questions are always welcome.
Happy reading xxx
I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site.
Clark had forgotten how long he had been standing there.
The rain had long since soaked through his clothes, turning the black fabric of his dress shirt heavy against his skin, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Water streamed down his face and dripped from his jaw. At some point he had stopped distinguishing between the rain and the tears. Neither seemed interested in stopping.
The cemetery had emptied hours ago. The mourners had gone home, the flowers left behind had begun to wilt beneath the downpour, and even the groundskeepers had disappeared. Only Clark remained, standing motionless before the grave as though if he stared at it long enough reality might finally lose its nerve and take everything back.
Your name was carved neatly into polished granite, and somehow that was the thing he hated most. Not the rain. Not the silence. Not even the crushing emptiness sitting in his chest. It was the fact that an entire life could be reduced to something so small. A name. Two dates. A line of text. Clark's eyes traced the letters over and over until they blurred together, and still he couldn't look away. The stone didn't tell people who you were.
It didn't tell them about the way you laughed when something genuinely surprised you, throwing your head back without caring who was watching. It didn't tell them about the way you stole food from his plate and then acted offended when he caught you. It didn't tell them about the way you always reached for him in your sleep, your hand searching for his even when you weren't awake enough to realize it. It didn't tell them about the future you'd spent years building together. The children whose names you'd argued about. The places you still wanted to visit. The tiny apartment you'd once shared before moving somewhere bigger. The old age you were supposed to reach. The wrinkles you were supposed to earn. None of it existed here. Everything that had made you you had been reduced to carved stone and cold earth.
A strangled breath escaped him. "You were supposed to grow old."
The words vanished into the rain almost immediately, but Clark kept staring at the headstone anyway. His own voice had sounded unfamiliar. Thin. Fragile. Like it belonged to somebody else.
"You were supposed to keep making fun of my cooking." A weak smile appeared despite himself, because you always complained about his cooking. Even when you liked it. Especially when you liked it. He could practically hear your voice now, teasing him about burning breakfast again, insisting that Ma was still the superior cook. The memory arrived with such clarity that it physically hurt.
That was the part nobody warned you about. People talked about grief as though it was sadness. As though it was crying and funerals and learning how to move on. Nobody talked about the violence of remembering. Nobody talked about how a perfectly ordinary memory could suddenly drive the air from your lungs. One second, you were standing still. The next you were remembering the exact sound of someone's laugh and wondering how it was possible for the world to continue turning when that laugh no longer existed inside it.
God, he missed you.
He missed you in ordinary moments. He missed turning around and expecting to find you there. He missed hearing his phone vibrate and hoping it was you. He missed having someone to tell about his day. He missed your toothbrush beside his. Your shoes near the door. The way you stole the blankets every night and denied it every morning.
Most of all, he missed being known. That was what nobody understood. People loved Superman. They loved symbols and legends and larger-than-life heroes. But you had never loved Superman. You had loved Clark. The awkward farm boy from Kansas who still called his mother when life became overwhelming. The man who burned pancakes because he got distracted. The man who worried too much, cared too much, and carried every failure like a stone in his chest.
You had known every imperfect part of him and somehow loved him anyway. And now the only person who had ever looked at all of him and chosen to stay was gone.
Clark squeezed his eyes shut. For a moment he could almost hear your voice. It was so vivid that his heart lurched painfully against his ribs. Some foolish part of him wanted to turn around, wanted to believe you'd be standing there behind him with that familiar smile, telling him he was being dramatic and that standing in the rain wasn't going to solve anything.
But reality returned quickly. It always did. Cruel and silent and completely indifferent to his grief. The worst part wasn't even that you were gone. The worst part was discovering that the world didn't care. Cars still drove down busy streets. Children still laughed in playgrounds. People still argued about meaningless things. Tomorrow the sun would rise exactly as it always had. The Earth would continue spinning. The city would wake up and move forward. The universe had lost the best thing Clark Kent had ever known, and somehow it kept going.
A hand settled gently on his shoulder.
Clark didn't have to turn around; he recognized Lois immediately.
She stood beside him beneath an umbrella, her eyes red-rimmed and exhausted. For several moments, she said nothing. She simply looked at the grave alongside him, and Clark found himself grateful for the silence. There was nothing either of them could say that would make this easier. Lois missed you, too.
Everyone did.
That had always been the problem with you. Loving you had been effortless. You had moved through people's lives, leaving pieces of yourself behind without even realizing it. Clark had watched strangers warm to you within minutes, watched friends seek you out whenever they needed comfort, watched entire rooms brighten whenever you walked into them. You made people feel seen. Important. Loved. And now every one of those people had to learn how to exist without you.
"Clark."
He didn't answer. His eyes remained fixed on the stone, on your name, on the unbearable proof that none of this was a nightmare.
"You need to stop doing this to yourself."
Still, he said nothing.
The rain continued to fall around them, drumming softly against Lois's umbrella while soaking through his clothes. He barely felt it anymore. The cold wasn't a problem for Superman. It should have bothered Clark Kent. It didn't. Nothing seemed capable of reaching him through the numbness that had settled over everything since the day he'd lost you.
Eventually Lois sighed. "You couldn't have saved her."
A bitter laugh escaped him before he could stop it. The sound was ugly. Broken.
"I save people every day."
His voice was barely above a whisper.
"I hear them, Lois. I hear people screaming from the other side of the world. I hear heartbeats through concrete. I hear accidents before they happen."
His gaze dropped to his hands. The same hands people trusted. The same hands that had pulled survivors from burning buildings and caught falling planes from the sky.
"So explain to me why I couldn't save the one heartbeat that mattered most."
Lois looked away immediately, and Clark hated himself for the relief that brought him. If she couldn't look at him, it meant she didn't have an answer. If she didn't have an answer, then maybe there simply wasn't one. Maybe there wasn't some mistake he'd missed. Maybe there wasn't a moment he could replay differently. Maybe there wasn't a version of events where he got to keep you.
The thought should have comforted him. Instead it made everything worse. Because if there was no answer, then there was nothing left to fix, nothing left to fight, nothing left but grief.
"I would've traded all of it," he said quietly. "The powers. The cape. The symbol. Every bit of it."
Rain dripped from his hair as he stared at your name carved into stone.
"I would've given it all away if it meant she stayed."
And he meant it. Every word. The world worshipped Superman. Entire cities slept easier because they believed he was out there watching over them. Children wore his symbol on their shirts. People looked at him and saw hope. Clark would've surrendered all of it without hesitation. Every ounce of strength. Every impossible ability. Every gift Krypton had given him. None of it had ever mattered as much as you.
The silence that followed stretched painfully between them.
Finally Lois spoke. "She wouldn't want you blaming yourself."
Clark shut his eyes.
"Don't."
"Clark..."
"Don't tell me what she would've wanted."
The words came out harsher than he intended. The instant they left his mouth, regret followed. Lois didn't deserve that. She was grieving too. He knew that.
But the truth was that nobody knew what you would've wanted anymore.
You weren't here to tell them.
That was the part he couldn't survive.
Not the funeral.
Not the grave.
The finality.
The realization that every conversation between the two of you had already happened. Every joke had already been told. Every argument had already ended. Every kiss, every embrace, every quiet evening spent together had come and gone without either of you realizing they were finite things. There would never be another one. Everything left between you would remain unfinished forever.
"She's not here anymore."
His voice broke completely.
For the first time since the funeral began, Clark looked exactly what he was. Not Superman. Not the strongest man in the world. Just a grieving man standing in the rain, staring at the grave of the woman he loved and realizing that all the strength in the universe couldn't change what was written on the stone in front of him.
Lois stood beside him for another moment, the steady rhythm of rain striking her umbrella filling the silence between them. Clark knew she wanted to say something else. He could hear it in the way she shifted her weight, in the hesitant breath she drew before letting it go again. She was searching for the right words, searching for something that might ease the grief carved into him. But there was nothing left to say. No combination of words could undo what had happened. No reassurance could make tomorrow easier. Tomorrow would still arrive without you in it, and the thought alone made his stomach twist.
After a while, Lois squeezed his shoulder gently. "You should go home."
Clark let out a quiet laugh that sounded more like a wounded exhale.
Home.
The word felt cruel now.
Home wasn't home anymore. It was your blanket draped over the couch because you were always cold. It was the mug with the tiny crack in the handle that he'd been trying to convince you to throw away for months. It was the half-finished novel still sitting on your nightstand with a bookmark tucked between pages you would never reach. Your jacket still hung by the front door. Your shampoo still sat in the shower. Little notes written in your handwriting still clung to the refrigerator. Every room contained evidence that you had existed, and every room reminded him that you didn't anymore.
He hadn't been able to sleep there since you died. The house felt wrong. Too quiet. Too still. As though it were waiting for you to walk through the front door at any moment. Sometimes he caught himself listening for your footsteps. Sometimes he found himself looking up whenever he heard a sound, expecting to see you rounding the corner with that familiar smile. Every single time reality returned, and every single time it hurt just as much.
"You need rest," Lois said softly.
Clark stared at the headstone.
At your name.
At the dates beneath it.
An entire life reduced to a few carved numbers.
How could he rest?
Every time he closed his eyes, he was back in the hospital. Back in that room. Back in that awful stretch of time where every second felt like an hour. He remembered the doctors' faces before they even spoke. Remembered the way the silence changed. Hope had disappeared before a single word was said, and some part of him had known it. There had been a version of Clark Kent that existed before that moment, a version that still believed everything would somehow be okay. That version was gone now. Buried alongside you.
When he didn't answer, Lois sighed quietly. "Okay."
Her voice cracked around the word.
"Call me if you need me."
Clark nodded once, not because he intended to, but because he couldn't bear to make her worry any more than she already did. Lois lingered for a few seconds longer before finally turning away. He listened to her footsteps grow fainter and fainter until they disappeared completely. Eventually even the sound of the umbrella vanished, leaving only the rain and the unbearable silence that followed.
Clark remained standing long after she was gone. Then, with a weariness that seemed to reach into his bones, he slowly lowered himself to the ground. The mud soaked through his clothes immediately. He didn't care. The earth was cold beneath him, damp and unforgiving, but none of it mattered. What was a little discomfort compared to this?
He shifted closer to the grave until he was lying beside it, resting his head against the wet grass. If he closed his eyes, he could almost pretend. Just for a second. Just long enough to imagine that you weren't really gone. His hand reached toward the headstone, fingertips brushing across the engraved letters of your name. He traced them slowly, carefully, memorizing the shape of every letter despite already knowing them by heart.
The ache inside him had become constant now. Not sharp enough to make him cry anymore. Not sudden enough to catch him by surprise. It was simply there, lodged somewhere deep inside his chest, woven so thoroughly into him that he no longer remembered what it felt like to exist without it. Grief wasn't something visiting him anymore. It wasn't a storm that arrived and passed. It lived here now. It woke up with him every morning and followed him to sleep every night. It sat beside him when he ate, when he worked, when he tried and failed to imagine a future that didn't hurt.
"I can't sleep without you."
The confession escaped before he could stop it.
A sad smile tugged weakly at his lips as he stared at your name carved into the stone.
"Of course you already know that."
You always fell asleep first. Usually halfway through a conversation. Your words would grow slower and softer until eventually they disappeared altogether, leaving him to smile at whatever unfinished thought you'd been trying to share. Yet even then, you always reached for him. Sometimes without waking up. Your hand would search blindly across the mattress until it found his, and the moment it did, your entire body relaxed. Like some small part of you needed that reassurance before you could truly rest.
Clark squeezed his eyes shut.
God, he missed that.
Not the grand moments people always talked about after someone died. Not the anniversaries or holidays or photographs. He missed the ordinary things. Holding your hand while watching television. Feeling your weight settle against his side when you were tired. Listening to your sleepy rambling at two in the morning when neither of you could fall asleep. The tiny, forgettable moments that had once seemed so insignificant now felt priceless. They had become the things he missed most because they were the things he could never get back.
"I never told you this," he whispered. "But sometimes I'd stay awake after you fell asleep."
A tear slipped from beneath his lashes.
"I'd just watch you."
His throat tightened painfully.
"Because I couldn't believe you were real."
The admission hurt more than he expected.
Clark had spent most of his life feeling separate from everyone around him. Different. Isolated. Like he was standing just outside a world he could see but never fully belong to. He had spent years pretending the loneliness didn't bother him. Then you had walked into his life and somehow made everything feel simple. Easy. Like belonging wasn't something he had to earn anymore. For the first time in his life, he had a place where he didn't have to be Superman. He didn't have to be a symbol. He didn't have to be anything except himself.
"You made everything quiet."
A broken laugh escaped him.
Not the world.
The world was never quiet for Clark. He heard everything. Every siren. Every cry for help. Every heartbeat. Every accident unfolding somewhere beyond the horizon. The noise never stopped. It never had.
But you had quieted something inside him.
The loneliness that had followed him since childhood.
The fear of never truly belonging.
The endless pressure of carrying the world on his shoulders.
You made it bearable.
You made him feel human.
His hand pressed harder against the wet earth, as though somehow being closer to you might lessen the ache. It didn't. Nothing ever did.
And now you were gone.
The realization struck with the same brutal force every single time. It didn't matter how often he thought it. It never became easier. It never became smaller. It remained enormous and impossible and world-ending.
"I don't know how to do this."
His voice cracked completely.
"I don't know how to wake up tomorrow. I don't know how to walk back into our house. I don't know how to keep being Clark without you."
Silence answered him.
The rain continued to fall.
The world continued to turn.
And you remained heartbreakingly absent from both.
For the first time in his life, Clark felt truly powerless. Not because he couldn't stop an asteroid or lift a collapsing building or save a city. Those things had never frightened him. This did. Because there wasn't an enemy to fight. There wasn't a disaster to prevent. There wasn't a problem to solve.
There was only loss.
And for all his strength, for all the impossible things he could do, there wasn't a force in the universe powerful enough to bring back the person he loved.
Clark curled slightly against the grave, as close to you as he could possibly get, and closed his eyes. For just a moment, he allowed himself to want something impossible. Not world peace. Not an end to suffering. Not another miracle to save humanity.
Just you.
Only you.
Clark woke with a gasp so violent it felt like his lungs had forgotten how to work.
For several terrifying seconds, he couldn't breathe. His heart pounded wildly against his ribs, each beat painful and frantic, and the dream clung to him with such horrifying clarity that he couldn't immediately tell where it ended and reality began. He could still feel the rain soaking through his clothes. Still see your name carved into polished granite. Still remember the awful helplessness of lying beside your grave, knowing there was nothing left to save, nothing left to fight for, nothing left except learning how to survive without you.
The grief had felt real.
Not the strange, distant kind of sadness dreams usually carried. It had felt real enough to break him.
Clark sat frozen for a moment, staring into the darkness as panic climbed his throat. Then his eyes focused on the room around him. White walls. Dim overhead lights. Medical equipment humming softly in the background. The familiar shape of a hospital room slowly emerged from the haze of sleep, and relief hit him so suddenly it almost made him dizzy.
His head snapped toward the bed.
There you were.
Exactly where you'd been before he fell asleep.
Surrounded by machines and monitors, an oxygen tube resting beneath your nose, your body almost swallowed by white blankets, but there. Not buried. Not gone. Not reduced to a name on a stone.
There.
Clark felt something inside him crack.
A breath escaped him, shaky and uneven, and before he fully realized what he was doing, he was already on his feet. The chair scraped softly against the floor as he crossed the room in a matter of seconds. His hands were trembling when he reached for yours.
Warm.
Your hand was warm.
Such a simple thing. Such an ordinary thing. Yet after the nightmare he'd just had, it felt miraculous.
Clark wrapped both of his hands around yours and lowered his head. A strangled sound escaped him, halfway between a laugh and a sob, and suddenly he was fighting tears all over again.
"Oh God."
His forehead rested against your knuckles.
"Oh God, you scared me."
The words sounded pathetic the moment they left his mouth. Selfish, too. You were the one lying unconscious in a hospital bed. You were the one fighting through whatever darkness had taken you away from him. Yet he couldn't stop the tears from coming.
Because for a few horrible moments, he'd believed he had already lost you.
He had stood at your grave. He had spoken to a stone bearing your name and imagined a future stretched out endlessly before him, a future where every morning began without you and every night ended in an empty bed. But the part that still made his chest ache wasn't the grief itself. It was the realization that life would continue afterward. The city would still wake up every morning. People would still go to work. Children would still laugh in parks. Somewhere, someone would still need Superman. The world wouldn't stop simply because yours had ended, and somehow Clark would be expected to keep moving through it as though surviving such a loss was possible.
Another tear slipped down his cheek.
"I don't want to know what my life looks like without you."
The confession lingered in the quiet hospital room. The only response came from the monitor beside your bed, its steady rhythm filling the silence between them. It should have been an ordinary sound, the kind people stopped noticing after a while, but Clark found himself listening to every single beep. Each one felt precious. Reassuring. Proof that you were still here. Still fighting. Still holding on.
His thumb brushed softly across your hand before he carefully tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. The gesture was so familiar it made his throat tighten. He'd done it hundreds of times before while you were reading on the couch, while you laughed at something he didn't understand, while you dozed off during movie nights with your head resting against his shoulder. For a moment he simply looked at you, really looked at you, trying to memorize every detail as though he hadn't already done so a thousand times before. The curve of your face. The slow rise and fall of your breathing. The warmth of your skin beneath his fingertips. Some frightened part of him worried that if he looked away for too long, the nightmare would return and steal all of it from him.
"I dreamed about you."
His voice was barely audible.
"I can't even tell you what happened."
He swallowed hard and looked away briefly.
"Because if I say it out loud, it feels like I'm daring the universe to make it real."
A humorless smile flickered across his face before disappearing just as quickly. Clark leaned forward and pressed a kiss against your cheek, lingering there for a moment longer than necessary. When he finally pulled back, his hand remained cupping the side of your face.
He thought about everything he had survived in his life. The battles. The invasions. The disasters. Every impossible thing the world had ever thrown at him. None of them had frightened him like this. Not because they threatened him, but because none of them had ever threatened you.
"Out of all the dreams I've ever had about you," he whispered, his voice trembling despite his best efforts, "I hope this one never comes true."
The room fell quiet again.
He pulled his chair closer and intertwined his fingers with yours before settling beside the bed. He never let go. Not once.
For the rest of the night, Clark remained awake, watching over you. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the grave again. The rain. Your name carved into stone. A future without you.
And that was what terrified him most.
Not that he could imagine losing you.
That he could imagine surviving it.
The dream had shown him exactly what that future looked like: waking up every morning with grief sitting permanently in his chest and carrying it for the rest of his life. As Clark sat beside your hospital bed with your hand held tightly in his own, he found himself praying for the first time in a long while, asking for only one thing.
summary: All it takes is one glance at the pretty girl who lives in the apartment across from his for Andrew Cody to become obsessed. But what begins as innocent observation from his window turns into something far more intense.
warnings: +18 MDNI. obsessive behavior, stalking, multiple scenes of male masturbation, themes of shame, reader has type b youngho vibes and andrew is stupidly into it, feminine reader who has hair and wears press on nails, unspecified but implied age gap, reader shares one kiss with a female friend (not super detailed), J pulls your cell phone records as a favor, andrew breaks into your apartment and raids your panty drawer, male masturbation with a vibrator, nipple play, alcohol consumption and mentioned drunkenness, lingerie, exhibitionism on readers part, mutual masturbation, jealousy, bratting/a touch of brat taming, reader tries to make pope jealous with another man, death threats (not to reader or pope), dirty talk, sloppy makeouts, spit swapping, over the clothes nipple sucking, finger sucking, f!use of a vibrator, clit play, rough fingering, unprotected piv, dacryphilia, light angst, insecure pope, reader matches his freak, stalker!reader, forced love confessions, begging, creampie
note: wow ok i think that might be the longest warning i've ever written whoops!! thank u sm to my angel @thykingdoncome for reassuring me through this whole process and taking a lil looksie at this for me love u 4ever
wc: 10.4k
[masterlist] [AO3]
Andrew knows it's weird.
He knows that.
But as long as you don't know he's doing it, what does it hurt?
It's not like he's doing anything weird. He's justâŠwatching you. It almost feels like fate, the way your apartment is positioned directly across from his. There's the courtyard and a pool lying between you, but the windows of his apartment mirror yours so perfectly.
AndâŠyou don't have blinds.
No curtains, no shades. There's not even a half-effort of an old sheet hung up over the glass pane. And at night? When he can't sleep, and the moths circle the flickering porch lights, and you've got those blue or red or purple LED lights onâŠwell.
Pope can see right into your apartment.
Can see you, watching TV on the couch or cooking boxed macaroni in nothing but a loose tank top and a pair of lace underwear.
He thinks you might be the only good thing about the apartment that Smurf forced him into only three days after he was released from prison.
It's been a long time since he's looked at a woman, you know. Longer since he's seen one as pretty as you.
He's not lacking self awareness or anything. Pope knows your open windows and ever changing LEDs aren't an invitation to stare, butâŠsometimes it feels like one.
You fall asleep on the couch most nights. Which is good for him, because Pope can't see into your bedroom.
Some things, he begins to realize, are a sort of chaotic routine.
You tend to fall asleep with your phone in your hand and scramble to find it each morning (it's always under the couch, beneath the hot pink throw pillow you kick off in your sleep).
You don't eat breakfast because you don't wake up early enough to (don't you know it's the most important meal of the day?). Most mornings, you wake up with just enough time to doll yourself up in the bathroom, prioritizing glittery eyeshadow and shimmering lip gloss rather than the sustenance of a bowl of cereal.
He doesn't know what you do for work, but it's something with an inconsistent schedule. You sleep until noon on your days off, which could be any day of the week, Pope learns.
Work doesn't stop you from going out, though. Saturday nights are reserved for those miniskirts and stiletto heels and all your giggling girlfriends who get ready on your living room floor with a hand mirror. You share perfume and makeup and clothes with them before you all climb into a shared uber.
A few times, Andrew finds himself tempted to follow you. He tells himself it's not like he'd be doing it for his own satisfaction. He'd just be doing it to keep an eye on you, that's all. You're a young girl (too young for someone his age). Don't you know there are predators out there?
But he never does. Because that would be weird, right? You don't even know him. ButâŠhe certainly starts to feel like he knows you.
You and your friends always stumble back to your apartment, sometimes falling up the concrete steps to the second floor. One of them will make pizza rolls or messy peanut butter sandwiches and you'll pass around cold bottles of water and spill electrolyte drink mixes on the kitchen counter.
You'll share your things with them even after the club, selfless girl. Passing out hair ties and makeup removing wipes and big t-shirts for them to sleep in. On on particular night, when most of them are passed out on the couch, legs and arms tangled together, Pope even watches you you share a kiss with one of them under pink LEDs.
That night, Andrew has to force his attention away. It feels way too close to the beginning of that porno Craig left open on the family computer years ago.
But this doesn't feel erotic. Watching your mouth move against someone else's doesn't elicit any warmth beneath the fabric of his jeans.
No, it makes Andrew...upset. Angry, even.
It makes him jealous.
He tries not to think about it again. Tries even harder (and fails, repeatedly) to give you some privacy on Saturday nights.
But SundaysâŠSundays are sacred.
Both for you and for him.
So much so that he pulls out on a job when his brothers plan it for a Sunday. Tells them he has to check in with his parole officer that day. Lies to their faces, because he doesn't want to miss out on you.
Because every Sunday, without fail, Andrew gets to see you naked.
You start by cleaning your apartment. Wiping down the counters and vacuuming the carpet and dusting the top of the cabinets. Then you light the candle on the coffee table (pink champagne, he's pretty sure, after looking endlessly online to match up the glass container. Twenty six dollars. Four day shipping. Currently sitting unlit on his nightstand).
And when you're ready, you strip off all your clothes and discard them in the bathroom.
You put oil in your hair and nineties R&B on your bluetooth speaker. You paint your toes (usually white or black, occasionally an electric blue) and glue artificial nails with sparkling gems onto your fingers.
Sunday showers are the longest, Pope knows. Sometimes thirty minutes. And when you emerge from the bathroom, steam rolls out from the open door and you've got your hair wrapped up in a towel. You balance yourself with a foot on the edge of the couch and massage lotion into your skin first.
From top to bottom, moisturizing your entire body. And then you repeat the motion with an oil, and it's during this particular step that Andrew starts feeling a little lightheaded.
He'd bet you feel all smooth and soft and smell so fucking good. Maybe like vanilla or cherry or coconut. And, god. He wants to touch you. He wants to touch himself.
But he resists.
The first three times, anyway.
By the fourth Sunday, thoughâŠwell. His cock gets so fucking hard in his jeans that it's leaking. Making a big fucking mess in his boxers. It hurts, you know?
And it's not like you'll know he's doing it. He's had a little over a month to perfect his setupâlights off, chair angled perfectly so if anyone glanced into his apartment they'd have to really look to see him.
So, he takes his cock in his hand and imagines it's your delicate fingers wrapped around him instead. Imagine it's his hands rubbing oil into your shoulders, over the swell of your breasts, pressing into your hips, squeezing at the supple flesh of your thighs.
He'd make sure to do it just how you like. And Pope wouldn't need to be told how to, either. Because he's spent so much time watching you now that he would just know.
He wonders if your head would fall back, wet hair clinging to your slick skin. He wonders if he pressed just right into that spot at the small of your back that you're always so gentle with if you'd moan or whine or whimper. Maybe even say his name.
Andrew cums at the thought alone, grunting low, lips parted, his release spilling over his hand and down the hard length of his cock.
The shame doesn't take hold of him for a while.
Not until later that night, when your hair is blow dried and you're dressed in a pretty silk pajama set. You've got some trashy reality show on the TV, and you're eating the pizza you had delivered right out of the box.
Andrew takes the moment to clean himself up. To change out of his clothes and into something more comfortable. He brushes his teeth and climbs in bed, but lays with his head propped up by an extra pillow so he can still see clearly out of his window.
He knows it's weird. He knows he shouldn't be staring at a naked girl who's probably half his age and doesn't know there's some fucking creep across the courtyard who watches her every fucking day. He knows he shouldn't be fucking his fist watching you put lotion on your skin. He knows he shouldn't be changing his plans with family or friends around your schedule, just so he can watch you a little longer.
He knows he should stop.
The problem, however, lies in the wanting.
Andrew's never had much. Not when it comes to women. But youâŠgod. You're so beautiful, and so pure and so different from anything he's ever seen. You don't belong to anyone but yourself, and once he sees you, he finds it impossible to look away.
Things change late one Friday night.
Andrew gets sloppy. He gets comfortable, here in this routine he's created around you.
There's music coming from your apartment, some electronic pop ballad that's at a volume so loud he can hear it from across the courtyard (there will be complaints to the office manager tomorrow morning, he knows. But you don't have to worry. Pope will take care of it for you, baby. He'll make sure you can keep having your fun).
You're wearing just a lacy bra and a pair of linen sleep shorts. There's a seltzer in your hand, and you're singing and dancing like you've somehow summoned all the energy from the club right there in your apartment.
It's a beautiful sight, truly. You're so happy and carefree. The warmest ray of sunshine that he wants to find himself basking under.
Andrew gets comfortable, posture relaxing in the chair that now lives permanently in front of his window. He watches you dance around your apartment, the easy smile on your face reflected back on his own.
He thinks he could really take care of you. Keep you safe. Protect all that girlish whimsy that lives in your heart. He'd make you real happy, Andrew thinks. Would watch you dance with your friends at the club, leaning against the bar. He'd take you shopping and add more of those short dresses into your closet. He'd make you breakfast in the mornings before work and Christâhe'd buy you a set of fucking curtains.
Pope is so lost in the fantasy of it that he doesn't register in time that your dancing has slowed. And you've put your seltzer down on the coffee table.
And you're staring right back at him.
His heart kicks up, pounding against his chest. He knows he should move out of sight, shut his blinds, pass this off as a mistake, maybe even pretend he hadn't seen you.
But he doesn't do any of that.
He's frozen in time, terrified and exhilarated all at once by simply being perceived by you.
Pope justâŠstares.
It seems to be the only fucking thing he's capable of these days.
He expects you to flip him off or maybe come barreling out of the door and across the courtyard to confront him. Or maybe you'll scurry away into your room. Maybe you'll order a set of curtains online.
But you don't do any of that.
You just stare right back.
Andrew tilts his head curiously. It's an involuntary movement.
In the end, you're the first to look away. You pick up your seltzer, dump it down the drain in the kitchen, and then disappear into the bathroom to brush your teeth.
Your routine remains the exact same. You find your phone beneath the throw blanket on the couch and turn off the TV. You turn the kitchen light off and turn on the light above the stove instead. You grab a water bottle from the fridge, and then go to bed in your room.
It's not rushed, and you don't seem nervous or fearful that there's someone watching you.
And Andrew thinks to himself, see. This is why you need him. This is why you need someone looking out for you. Don't you know how dangerous he could be?
He would never hurt you, Andrew knows. But you don't know that.
He doesn't sleep that night. He doesn't sleep often as it is, but his mind is running too fast. Cataloguing all the potential scenarios in which you cut off all access he has to you, severing the comfort he finds in his new favorite, voyeuristic hobby.
And Andrew wouldn'tâcouldn'tâblame you for it. He thinks that's what you should do.
You don't.
The following morning, your routine changes.
On the nights you fall asleep in your bed, you're usually dressed in a pair of jeans with gems decorating the pockets and a low-cut top by the time you emerge from your room.
But not this time.
No, this time you're still wearing the same clothes you'd fallen asleep in. A lacy bra and cotton shorts.
Andrew watches, freshly emerged from the quickest shower of his life, hair still wet, as you stand in front of the fridge to find the fizzy energy drink you'd brought home with you last night.
He watches you struggle for a moment to crack the seal open (Those pretty nails of yours. He could help you with that, you know). You take a slow slip, put the aluminum can down on the counter, and turn your head just enough to let Pope know you see him.
You know he's there, in the window. You know he's watching.
And then, painfully slow, you drag your shorts down your thighs. The fabric pools at your feet, and Pope loses all train of thought.
Because this is no accident. You want this. You want him to watch you.
Your bra is next. You reach around to unclasp it and soon after the lace joins the linen fabric on the linoleum floor.
Warmth blooms beneath his skin as he watches you press your hands to your abdomen, feeling your skin, running your hands up your chest and over the swell of your breasts.
You try and play it off like a stretch, lifting your arms above your head and arching your back.
Andrew knows it's not.
You get ready the rest of the morning like normal. And AndrewâŠGod. He doesn't know what to think.
He knows he should stop this before it goes too far. He thinks it already has.
It'sâŠit's weird, right?
Everything about it is wrong.
He doesn't want to stop, but he knows he should.
He tries, though. For what little it's worth.
Tries to busy himself building a fountain at Smurf's. Tries to find small jobs he can do himself to pass the time. He still thinks about you all hours of the day, though. Like a thorn stuck beneath his skin, aching when he moves just the wrong way.
He overhears Nicky explaining to Deran what an 'everything shower' is and thinks about your Sunday ritual. He walks into a hungover Craig making boxed macaroni in his boxers and thinks of you. Smurf lights a candle called pink cashmere and even though it's not pink champagne, it still makes him think of you.
The pretty little girl in the apartment across from his, who he finds himself certifiably, insanely, obsessed with.
One Thursday afternoon, Andrew returns home earlier than he'd planned. He tells himself he just wants to get a little glance.
Just one look. You know, to soothe the ache the thought of you brings. To see if maybe he imagined the weight of your stare.
What he finds, though, is somehow more concerning.
You're pacing your living room, cell phone pressed to your ear, still wearing jeans and your sneakers. There's tension in your shoulders and even though he can't hear the conversation you're having with the person on the other end of the phone, he can see that you're shouting.
It drags on for the better half of an hour. The pacing, the frustrated hand waving, the pinching of the bridge of your nose. Whatever it is, Andrew bets he could help with it.
He hates seeing you stressed. Thinks you should be living your fun, carefree life like normal. You shouldn't be burdened withâŠwhatever it is that's got you so upset.
But it's not like he can go over and just ask.
So, he chooses a different path instead.
Gets the key to the office of the apartment complex from Smurf. Rummages through the paper files until he finds the lease contract linked to your apartment number.
Andrew thinks he should've done this weeks ago. He learns an awful lot about you this way. Like your name, which he begins to recite like a mantra in his head. He learns your birthday and, regretfully, your age.
But, most importantly, he discovers (and memorizes) your phone number.
And that same day, he returns to Smurf's with a torn piece of paper with the digits scribbled on it. He hands it to his nephew and says, "Need you to get a few phone call records. Can you do that for me?"
J furrows his brows in confusion. "Who's number?"
Pope shrugs. "No one," he lies. "Can you get the records or not?"
"Uh, yeah. Yeah, probably. Anything specific you're looking for?"
"I wanna know about a call that happened today. Around two or so. Lasted almost an hour. Just get me the number of whoever was on the other line."
J hesitates for a single moment, and then nods slowly. "Alright. I'll get back to you on it."
In the meantime, Andrew spirals.
The thought of you having a boyfriend never really crossed his mind until now. You don't really have men over. Just your girl friends.
But there are some Saturday nights you don't come home, stumbling in early Sunday morning instead with sunglasses on and your hair a mess. So, Pope thinks you very well could have a boyfriend and he'd never would've known it.
Pope tells himself if it is a boyfriend, he won'tâŠhe won't do anything. It's not his place to make decisions for you, right?
Still. You shouldn't let a man stress you out so much. Whoever it is, they're not worth it. You deserve better. You deserve more.
You deserve someone who knows you.
Less than two hours later, Pope gets a phone call from J, who explains that the person on the other end of that phone call wasn't a person at all.
It was your phone company.
You're stupid fucking service provider who just so happened to put an extra two hundred dollar fee on your bill this month, claiming data overages.
All that stress wasn't over a boyfriend. It was over money.
And money is something Andrew can provide.
He waits until you leave for work, locking up tight behind you. But that doesn't matter, not now. Andrew has a key to the office, which means he has access to the spare key to your apartment.
He is fully aware that he shouldn't be doing this, but ten minutes after you leave he unlocks the door and steps inside anyway.
Your apartment smells sweet. Like sugar and citrus. He wonders if you smell the same way, and the thought alone makes Andrew's mouth water.
He moves slowly into your space, fingers tracing over the TV stand, feeling the wood beneath his calloused fingertips. He straightens the crooked throw pillow on the couch and puts the lighter for your candle back into the tray on the coffee table.
Andrew knows he should justâŠleave the cash and go. He shouldn't be snooping around, invading your privacy.
But you left a knife point-side up in the strainer in the sink. And you could get hurt doing something like that.
And once he's already in the kitchen, turning the knife over so the sharp edge is down, wellâŠwhat does it hurt if he just opens a couple of drawers?
None of your silverware matches. Andrew finds this little fact sort of endearing. Messy and chaotic in the same way you are, but that's okay. Maybe he can fix that for you one day, too.
Your bathroom is cluttered. There's makeup products littering the porcelain sink and the cabinet mirror is left wide open. Andrew picks up a few different products to read the labels and finds lip liners and leave-in conditioners and powdered blush that's spilled magenta pigment on the counter.
He finds that lotion you're always using on Sundays and opens the lid. Andrew brings the container to his nose, inhales deeply, and feels suddenly too hot.
The scent of it is sweet, like you. There's notes of syrupy amber and warm florals and it has the muscles in his abdomen squeezing tight as he thinks about how potent the scent would be if he were between your legs, freshly oiled, calves resting on his shoulders as he licks and sucks at your clit.
His cock has been half hard since the moment he stepped foot in your apartment, but by the time he makes it to your bedroom?
Pope is aching.
Your clothes are strewn all over. There's t-shirts on the floor and jeans inside out near the hamper and a dress you'd worn two weekends ago lying on the edge of your unmade bed.
It smells like you in here, too. Even more so. There's less perfume, but Andrew swears he can smell the scent of your skin. Sweet and intoxicating, sending sparks of arousal straight to his groin.
Your bedside table has a lamp on it and three half-empty bottles of water. There's one drawer, and he pries it open and gives a slow exhale to see all the silk and lace inside.
Going through your underwear drawer is, quite literally, the very last thing someone like Andrew Cody should be doing.
He does it anyway.
Rummages around until he finds that little black pair you like to sleep in. He runs his fingers over the lace band, feeling the softness beneath the rough pad of his thumb. His cock is throbbing, even before he brings the fabric to his nose and inhales the scent of laundry detergent and faint mahogany from the nightstand andâthere. The scent of you.
As close as he can get.
As close as he'll probably ever get.
He needs to leave. Andrew is painfully aware that this is crossing a line of a whole new degree. Levels above simply watching.
This is obsession. This is addiction. Sick and twisted and perverted.
Andrew does not leave.
He climbs into your bed instead. Kicks off his boots and discards his hoodie until he's in nothing but his jeans. He slips beneath your sheetsâsatin, and pink, and filled with the scent of your shampoo and your skin andâfuck.
His cock is leaking by the time he undoes his belt. Andrew reaches beneath your sheets and shoves his jeans down just enough to free himself.
And it's almost enough to blow his load right fucking there, when the underside of his heavy length brushes against the fabric of your sheets. It's almost too much, being in your room, in your bed, breathing in your scent.
But he resists. Grits his teeth and takes his cock in one hand and uses the other to wrap the soft fabric of your underwear around his aching length.
This time, there's nothing slow about the way he strokes himself to the thought of you. He's desperate for it. Release already clouds the edges of his mind and he needs the relief it'll provide.
His brain feels hazy and his vision blurs, just thinking about you, lying here, hand between your legs. He wonders how you touch yourself, if you just play with your clit or if you fuck yourself on your fingers.
The thought crosses his mind that you might be using more than just your hand, and Pope finds himself sitting up. He leans over the edge of your bed and sticks his hand back into your panty drawer, reaching to the very bottom, feeling around until the tips of his fingers brush over silicone.
His heart is beating fast.
It's a small thing. Pink, of course. With only a small, almost hidden power button.
Pope leans back in your pillows and turns the little vibrator on. It buzzes to life in his hand, and when he pushes the button again, the intensity ratchets even higher.
There's only three settings. He turns it to the highest one and imagines holding it against your swollen clit. He imagines you lying under him, thighs around his waist, hips bucking wildly, chasing the vibration that he gives and gives and then takes away.
He turns so he's lying face down in your sheets now, nose pressed into your pillow. Pope puts the vibrator between his cock and the soft expanse of his abdomen, and he feels the sensation everywhere.
He's still got your underwear wrapped around his cock, and he gives a tentative roll of his hips against the mattress.
The groan he lets out is guttural. With his eyes closed, he can imagine its not your panties he's fucking but you. The tight, wet cunt between your legs. He can imagine it's the curve of your throat he's got his nose buried in and not your pillow. He can imagine that sweet, intense vibration is reverberated through your pelvic bone, little toy pressed hard against your clit.
Pope tells himself he'd make it so fucking good for you. He'd bury his cock so deep you'd never forget the weight of it inside you. He'd whisper how beautiful you are in your ear and make you look him in the eyes while he watches you cum over and over and over.
His release isâŠembarrassingly fast.
A few rolls of his hips against your mattress and he's cumming into the lace fabric of your panties, the vibration of the toy milking him until he's so overstimulated it almost hurts.
Pope rolls over, turns the toy off, buries it back in the bottom of your drawer. He gives himself a few more moments to gather himself. To catch his breath, to wipe himself clean (never mind the couple of drops that now stain your satin sheets. That could be from anything, right?).
He tucks himself back into his jeans, pulls on his boots and his hoodie, and tosses your underwear in the pile of clothes next to the laundry bin.
There's a pair of your jeans in the middle of the floor, away from the rest. One leg of the denim is inside out. Pope takes the cash from his wallet and tucks it into the pocket of your jeans, leaving out just enough that he knows you'll notice it.
He leaves.
Locks the door behind him with the spare key.
Makes it halfway across the courtyard before he doubles back, lets himself back into your apartment and into the bathroom where he pockets one of the many different chapsticks on the sink.
It isn't until he's home, tucked safe back in his own apartment, that he realizes it's strawberries and cream flavored.
Andrew puts it on, swiping the transparent petroleum over his lips. He tells himself it's almost like kissing.
Later that day, Craig calls a family meeting. But you've just gotten home, and he knows you'll find the cash within a few minutes when you go to change out of your clothes.
So Andrew waits at the bottom of the stairs on his side of the courtyard. He can't see into your apartment from here, though. And he decides he'll only wait for thirty minutes.
He responds to text messages and opens his blank, photo-less Instagram (that he definitely didn't make only to look at your profile. The one filled with selfies under neon lights and bikini photos on the beach and mirror pictures in the dressing room at that one boutique in the mall).
Twenty nine minutes later, he hears an apartment door slam shut and looks up to see you.
You've got your bag over one shoulder and a grin on your face and the cash in your hand. Enough to cover the additional charges and a little extra, too.
You notice him at the bottom of the cement stairs and freeze, but you don't lookâŠscared, like he expects. Maybe a little startled at first, but the tension bleeds from your face the moment you recognize him.
He should say something. Talk to you. Apologize, maybe, for staring at you.
But Andrew isn't sorry.
And he's never really been good at talking, anyway.
You tilt your head and give him the sweetest fucking smile he's ever seen. It's somehow innocent and knowing at the same time, and Andrew feels the corners of his mouth lifting in response.
Something passes silently between you. AnâŠunderstanding, maybe. You know he watches you, and he knows you know, butâŠyou don't stop him. You just let it happen.
You smile at him from fifteen feet away.
And then you turn to leave, no doubt making your way to pay off that stupid bill that caused you so much unrest.
Pope watches you go, like always.
But this time, you glance back at him over your shoulder withâŠsomething lingering in your pretty eyes. Excitement, maybe. He can't be sure.
He needs to get closer.
During the family meeting, he isn't very present. His mind is so far away, stuck on you, that he just blindly agrees to whatever job they're doing next and trusts that it'll all work out.
When he returns to his apartment, there's a note stuck to his door.
A pink sticky note with nothing but a phone number and a heart with an arrow through it scribbled on the paper.
Your phone number, Pope knows.
He knows he shouldn't text you.
It's stupid and dangerous and god, you really shouldn't be giving your number to random men. He could be a creep. He could be a stalker or something.
His message just says,
Hello.
Your response is immediate, with no capitalization which seems quiteâŠfitting for you. He finds it strangely endearing.
hey
are u the guy from apt 212 ???
Pope can feel that this is a bad idea already. But he's already here, and there's no going back now, is there? He doesn't want to hurt your feelings. He doesn't want to leave you on read and make you think he's not interested when the problem is the exact opposite.
Yes.
The typing bubble pops up, disappears, and appears again three different times before you send another message.
im gonna be home in like an hr
will u be watching ???
Always, he wants to say. Fucking always. He can't take his eyes off you, no matter how hard he tries. No matter how shameful it feels.
Andrew's hands shake as he types out a response.
Do you want me to be?
No hesitation this time. Your message comes through a second later.
uhmmm tbh yeah <3
He exhales a long breath. It doesn't feel real. Like he's imagining the entire thing. How could he not be? Why on earth would the sweetest, prettiest little thing want someone to watch her?
But the weight of his cell phone in his hand is real.
And the text message is real.
And thisâŠthis is real.
Then yes. I will be.
You don't reply, and Andrew's heart flutters in his chest as he takes his practiced position in the chair in front of his window and waits.
True to your word, you're skipping up the steps fifty three minutes after the last message is sent. You turn on those LEDs and and move about your apartment like normal, kicking off your sneakers and dropping your bag by the door. You change out of your clothes and put on a worn in t-shirt that's two sizes too big for you, but underneathâŠ
Pope can see the sheer thigh highs you wear and the black, lace edge of them. He can see those strappy garters attached to them, but nothing else. The straps disappear beneath your shirt, leaving him wanting for more.
You're teasing him, Pope realizes.
He watches with bated breath as you lay on the couch, getting comfortable with the throw pillow against the arm.
And then, for the first time, Andrew watches you touch yourself.
You start slowly, hands roaming over your body, on top of the fabric, massaging gently at the inside of your thighs.
His cock's always hard watching you, truth be told. But thisâŠ
His skin feels hot. His lungs feel tight.
Your fingers curl around the edge of your t-shirt, and you pull it over your head to discard it on the floor.
Andrew hasn't seen you wear this set before, not even on those sacred Sundays.
It's pretty. Matching black lace. The bra is low cut and pushes your breasts up your chest, the soft flesh swelling over the top. The waistband of the matching panties is decorated in shining silver gems, laying so perfectly against your hips that he feels dizzy just looking at it.
The prettiest package, just begging to be unraveled by his big, mean hands.
You dressed up for him.
You dressed up for him.
Your hands start to move again, palming your breasts, pulling the lace down until they spill out of the top. Your nipples are so pretty that his mouth waters. He wants to kiss them, to feel the shape of them under his tongue. He wants to kneel over top of you and jerk himself off until they're covered in his sticky white release.
You squeeze your breasts until your nipples form pretty little peaks, and then your hands slide lower. Over your abdomen, and your hips, and then your thighs. You bring them slowly back up, only to slide them over the lace fabric of your panties, right down the center of your cunt.
Andrew thinks he could die.
He could fucking die, just looking at you.
Carefully, you unbuckle the chrome latch of your garter. The left side first, and then the right quickly follows. You leave the lace belt on, but hook your thumbs around the bedazzled lace of your panties and pull them down your thighs painfully slowly.
Your knees fall apart.
Pope swallows hard.
He can see everything from here. The seam of your thighs that he's dreamt about. The pretty shape of your pussy. The wetness that's gathered between your folds, slick and shiny with arousal. With want.
For him. It's for him.
His cock throbs so hard it hurts.
Pope doesn't touch himself. He can't. Can he? All you asked of him was that he watched.
That's what you wanted.
But wouldn't it be better if he was there? Wouldn't it be better if he could touch you, if he could taste you, if he could fuck you?
All you'd have to do is let him in.
Your fingers stroke gently over your clit in small circles, and he watches in awe as your lips part and your spine bends.
He can't hear your moans but god does he wish he could. Thinks about putting a little microphone in your lampshade the next time he sneaks into your apartment.
Your fingers drift lower, over your center, and slowly press inside.
Pope wants it to be him so fucking bad.
If not his cock inside you then his fingers. They're bigger. Longer. Thicker. They'd please you more. Reach places your fingers can't.
Maybe his tongue. He'd drink you right from the fucking source and cum in his jeans, probably. But he'd make sure to find that sweet, velvety spot inside you first and he'd spell his full fucking name over it with a pointed tongue.
Silly girl. Don't you know what he could do for you? Don't you know what he could do to you?
Pope squeezes the bulge in his jeans to try and alleviate the pain of his lust.
You fuck yourself with your fingers, stuffing in one and then two and then three, stretching yourself on them, slick dripping down the seam of your cunt. Your back arches when your free hand finds your clit, and he knows you're close.
He knows he shouldn't, but he searches frantically for his phone anyway and sends another text message.
I want to hear you.
You pause only long enough to grab your phone off the coffee table, read the text, and lay your phone on the arm of the couch behind you.
Pope's phone buzzes in his hand.
You're calling him.
He answers on the first ring, and the sounds that greet him are so erotic it steals the breath from his lungs.
You sound so pretty. So sweet and feminine, everything he's imagined yet somehow so, so much more. He's sure you can hear his heavy breaths on the other end of the phone, but Pope can't find it in himself to care. Can't think of much else besides the way you whimper and the sight of your fingers stuffed inside you.
"Oh, godâ"
His inhale is shaky.
"I'm gonna cum," you choke out, words hazy with your moans. "I'm so close, I'm so fuckingâhmm. Yes. What's your name?"
He almost doesn't hear you, so lost in the sight before him. Immersed in the euphoria of it. But then he says, voice a low, uncertain whisper, "Andrew."
Your spine bends and the fingers on your clit slow. "Oh my god. Fuck, AndrewâI'm cumming, I'mâyes, yesâgod."
His cock twitches and when he tries to soothe it with another tight squeeze, he sends himself careening off the precipice of release instead. His head falls back and his once heavy breaths get stuck in his lungs. Pope rubs himself over his jeans, making a sticky, hot mess in his boxers, generating what little friction he can.
He watches you come down in real time. Not his dreams, not his imagination. He watches it happen. Watches that fucked-out, hazy look cross your face. Watches the tension in your muscles melt away, wishing he could kiss the junction of your throat.
Pope wishes he could worship you. Wishes he could clean you up and put on that trashy reality show you like and hold you against his chest, comforting you while your brain comes back to earth.
Instead, you lean up. Grab your phone and press it to your ear, staring right at him through his wide open window.
He doesn't know what he expects you to say, but it's certainly not, "Have you been inside my apartment, Andrew?"
For a second, he thinks about lying. Because there's no way you know, right? Not for sure. It's not like you have cameras or anything (he knows, because he checked).
But he doesn't want to lie. Not to you.
"IâŠmight have been. Once, yes."
"Did you steal my chapstick?"
"You have ten of them."
He hears your laugh for the first time, and the sound is like sunlight in his chest. "You took the best flavor."
"I'mâŠI'm sorry. I'll return it."
"Keep it. I already got a new one," you say. "Cost me five hundred dollars, though."
So, you know it was him who left the cash, too.
Smart, pretty girl.
He doesn't say anything, too afraid he'll say something stupid or awkward the way he usually does. He doesn't want to ruin this moment. This absolutely perfect moment.
You smile at him, kiss your palm, and blow it towards your window. "Goodnight, Andrew."
He feels his face heat. "Goodnight."
Pope rides the high of it for days.
Can't shake the sight of you open and bare for him. Can't stop thinking about the sound of your moans or the way you'd said his name in the peak of euphoria. He fucks his first to the thought of it more times than he can count.
And Andrew's never been a really sexual person. Not unless it's with someone he loves.
But is that what this is? Love?
You've never met. Not really, not properly. How could it be something so intense? You don't know him. You don't know who he is or what he does. You don't know how he's hurt and maimed and killed.
Would you be afraid, finding out? Would you run to the police if you knew? Would you recoil away from him with terror in your eyes?
All things left unsaid. All things that may, very well, never be said.
Pope feels so uncertain with all of this that he finds himself resorting to fucking google, even. Search history littered with questions and Reddit threads that never provide any real clarity.
Define love.
Define obsession.
How to know if you're in love?
How to ask a girl out?
How to get over a girl.
Define voyeur.
Define fetish.
How big of an age gap is too big?
Apartments for sale on the east coast.
Pink champagne candle.
Strawberries and cream chapstick bulk pack.
You text him the following weekend.
do u wanna likeâŠgo out sometime?? been thinking about u a lot
He's at Smurf's when he reads the message.
Pope doesn't even realize he's smiling until Deran slides a beer across the counter at him and asks, "What's got you all happy today?"
And Pope just shakes his head. Schools his features back into neutrality and says, "Nothing. Just won a bet."
He can tell his brother doesn't believe him, not even for a second. But thankfully, Deran doesn't push any further. He lets the subject go, but the question stays stuck in Andrew's head for hours.
It takes him a while to decide on a response. It's honest, andâŠmostly true.
We shouldn't. I'm a lot older than you.
Your response is one single, painful letter.
k
He doesn't respond to try his hand at damage control, even though he wants to. It's probably better this way, he thinks. Better that there's some distance between you. Better than you hate him and see him as the creepy neighbor he is.
But that Saturday night, when you return home, it's not with your friends.
Pope watches from his window as you guide a man up the stairs and into your apartment.
He's tall. Dark haired, with bright eyes and white teeth and a good smile. Closer to your age. Handsome like a man allowed into your space should be.
You're fumbling a little with your apartment key and Pope watches as the man stands behind you and slides his hands down the back of your thighs.
Thighs he should be touching. Thighs he's watched for months. Thighs that spread for him, long before this fucking loser ever laid his eyes on you.
He tells himself he won't interfere.
You're your own woman. You deserve to feel good, even if it's withâŠsomeone else.
And Pope knows he's just going to have to get the fuck over it.
He did it to himself, really.
He should look away.
But he watches instead.
Watches the two of you fall onto the couch. Watches another man kiss down the column of your throat and squeeze the supple curve of your ass over your sequined dress.
Your eyes find his from across the courtyard, and Pope's jaw clenches.
Putting on another show for him. Filthy, filthy girl.
And you're just going to give it to some random man? Someone who doesn't know you like Pope does? Someone who doesn't know how you like to be touched?
He needs to look away. Close his own fucking blinds for once.
But he feels frozen. Knowing this time, you're watching him. Looking for him. Goading for a reaction.
Pope watches the slow ascent of the man's hand. Promises himself he won't interfere. He'll just watch to make sure you're safe, that's all.
But the moment that greedy hand disappears beneath your dress, Andrew's moving. Throwing open his door and slamming it closed behind him. He crosses the courtyard and takes the steps two at a time.
His fist against your apartment door is incessant. He doesn't stop, even when he hears the uttered, male voice ask, "Who is that?"
When the door opens, it's you who stands in front of him, chin tilted up as you stare at him, pupils flared wide.
The man you'd brought home with you hovers over your shoulder.
Pope doesn't even look at him. He stares only at you as he says, a little snarl in his voice, "Tell him to leave."
"Dude, what the fuck? Who is this guy?"
Your lips curl at the corners. A devilish little smile. "Okay," you say, nodding, your voice soft and pliant. You turn your head to look at the man who stands behind you. "Sorry, but you've gotta go."
"You're joking," he responds flatly. "You said I couldâ!"
Andrew reaches past you and takes him by the collar, pulling him out of your apartment and slamming him up against the paneled siding. "I ever see you in this apartment again, I'll fucking kill you. You understand me?"
"Jesus fuckingâyeah, okay. Alright. Sorry."
Pope isn't joking. Doesn't say it to scare him off but rather as a warning.
He lets him go and watches him scramble down the stairs. He doesn't turn back to face you until the little tool you used for attention gets in his car and drives away.
And when he does finally turn back to youâŠChrist. Your eyes are half lidded and full of lust. Pope's close enough this time that there's no mistaking it.
He should be a gentleman. Should take you out first. Bring you home and kiss you on your doorstep and leave you untouched.
He knows he should.
What he does instead is curl his hand around the back of your neck and pull you to him. He leans down, mouth hovering over yours, breathing in your panicky exhales. "This what you want?"
Your grin is immediate and undeniable. You nod and breathe out the word, "Please."
Andrew kisses you hard, crowding you back into your apartment. He kicks the door closed behind him and slides his tongue into your mouth, tasting you and groaning at the sweetness. There's mint and strawberry and you, his favorite flavor.
He feels drunk on it. On the taste of your tongue, the glide of your wet lips over his, the way your hands scramble and tug desperately at his belt.
"Fuck," he sighs, pulling back just enough to see you. "Open your mouth, baby. Wide. And stick out your tongue."
The way you immediately obey has his cock twitching. Good girl. So fucking good for him when he gives you exactly what you need.
Andrew licks the flat of your tongue once, delighting in the way you whimper in response, before bringing his hand to your mouth. He slides two fingers behind your teeth and orders, "Suck."
You do, lips closing tight around the digits, wet tongue swirling over his thick knuckles. He pushes them further down your throat, your eyes locked on his as he makes you choke on them.
"So fucking pretty," he tells you. "You always look so pretty."
Andrew pulls the straps of your mini dress over your shoulders, roughly tugging the fabric over your chest down to expose your breasts.
You're wearing the same lace bra you'd worn when you dressed up for him, he realizes. He can see the peaks of your nipples through the semi-sheer fabric, and leans down to lock his lips around the left one over the lace.
The fabric is rough beneath his tongue, a stark contrast to the softness of your skin. He sucks hard, spreading the wetness of his saliva over the lace. You push your dress further down your waist and over your hips.
Andrew slides his fingers out of your mouth, sticky and dripping with your spit. He brings them to his own lips instead and sucks them clean, watching your breath hitch and your eyes grow impossibly more hazy.
He lowers himself to his knees before you and his slick fingers work quickly at the straps of your heels, unbuckling them to free your pretty, white-painted toes.
Your hands find his shoulders for balance. "I like that you watch me," you tell him. "I think about it sometimes and it makes me soâŠgod, Andrew. It gets me so wet."
He looks up at you from his knees, big brown eyes glassy and full of adoration. "Good," he says. "'Cause I'm gonna watch you a little closer tonight."
That pretty smile finds its way to your face again.
Andrew presses a sweet, chaste kiss to the apex of your thighs. Over your panties, right where he knows your clit lies beneath. He then stands to his feet, towering over you now without the added height of your heels, and presses you forward.
You take a careful step back, nearly losing your balance.
Andrew grins, taking another step, crowding you back towards your bedroom. He doesn't stop until the back of your knees hit the edge of your mattress.
You stumble backwards, falling into the plush sheets that he's all too familiar with. Lying on your back, propped up by your elbows, you stare up at him with wide eyes and he's reminded of a timid little animal caught in the trap of a predator.
Don't you know how dangerous he could be?
You don't look afraid. You actually lookâŠeager.
Pope stands tall at the edge of your mattress. "Take off your clothes."
You do. Unclasping your bra first, tossing the fabric into the already existing mess on the floor. And then your panties follow, thumbs hooking around the fabric to drag it down your legs.
Andrew reaches around and fists the collar of his shirt, tugging it over his head. He feels warm all over, watching you greedily drink up the sight of him. He thinks he'd feel a little nervous, in any other setting. If it were anyone but you.
His sweet, filthy girl.
Andrew reaches into the half-open drawer of your nightstand, searching until he finds your vibrator again.
Your brows furrow as you watch him find it with practiced ease. "You went through my underwear drawer, too?"
"Did more than that," he admits.
You inhale like you're going to speak again, but the words melt to nothing when he tosses the small toy onto the bed beside you.
"Use it," Pope orders.
"What?"
He crawls onto the mattress between your legs, spreading them wide, laying your calves on either side of his hips. "Let me watch you."
There's a moment of hesitation, but you don't look nervous. OnlyâŠcurious.
You pick up the vibrator and slide the pink silicone through your folds, spreading your arousal before you press the power button. You circle your clit with the tip of it a few times, teasing yourself.
When you turn the toy on, he can feel the vibration against his hands that grip your thighs. You let out a syrupy moan and turn the intensity higher, drawing tight circles around your pretty clit.
He watches you, eyes locked on the pink silicone between your legs. He watches your entrance flutter, tightening around nothing, begging to be filled. "Your pussy is so pretty," he mutters. "Do you know that?"
Your only response is a breathy whimper. You click the intensity up again, putting it on the highest setting, and Pope sighs when your legs begin to shake around him.
He wants to watch you make yourself cum. Wants another scene to fuck his fist to in the shower or in his bed or in his truck.
But he's here. Finally, finally here, in your bed, with you, and he can't help himself.
Pope grips your hips hard and pulls you closer, tilting your hips up into his lap. The vibrator falls from your hand at the sudden movement, but he's quick to return it to you. "Keep going."
You press the silicone back to your clit, and Andrew spreads you open with gentle thumbs. He gathers the spit in his mouth and lets it drip from his lips and onto the seam of your cunt.
And then he's sliding his middle finger inside of your entrance, curling it upwards, searching for that sweet spot that makes you writhe.
It doesn't take long. He's watched you. He knows just what you like and what angle to hit. And the second the tip of his finger presses hard against it, you fist your free hand in the sheets and curses fall from your sweet mouth.
Pope slides another thick finger inside, watching the way you squirm, feeling the walls of your cunt flutter around the swell of his knuckles.
"I'm gonna cum, I'm gonnaâoh, fuck. Feels so good, feels so fuckingâ"
A long, throaty moan leaves your mouth, and he feels the warmth of your release pool in his palm. You're so slick that each wet thrust of his fingers echoes against the walls of your room.
He doesn't stop until you're twitching. Until you click the vibrator off and shove it away from you. And even then, he still gives a few, slow curls of his fingers inside of you. Not touching with intent, justâŠfeeling. Memorizing.
Once you catch your breath, you lean up enough to find his eyes again. You say timidly, shyly, "I wantâŠI want to feel you, Andrew. I want you inside me. Do youâŠdo you want to fuck me?"
It's the most asinine question he's ever been asked in his fucking life. Does he want to fuck you?
He's thought of nothing else for months. Every night when he fights for sleep, it's the thought of you under him that puts him to bed.
It's such an impractical concern from his point of view that he laughs. Actually laughs, for the first time in years. "Oh, baby."
Pope takes your hands in his. He presses one to his chest, right over his heart, and the other against the hardness in his jeans.
"I have never wanted another woman as bad as I want you," he says truthfully. "But IâŠyouâŠyou deserve better than this. Better than me. You understand that, don't you?"
You shake your head. "You don't know me, Andrew. Not really. You don't know ifâ"
"No, no. I do. I know you're the kind of friend who would give the shirt off their back. The kind of girl who'd let her phone get cut off before asking for help. The kind of girl who gets up every morning and justâŠtries. Every day. And you fuckingâŠyou smile about it. You're good. You're so fucking good and IâŠ"
He stops.
Remembers the last time he'd loved someone like this and how he'd made a stupid confession he should've taken to his grave and how it'd fucked him completely.
"You're what, Andrew?"
Pope swallows. "I'm...I'm a bad man. I've hurt people. I willâŠhurt people, Iâ" His voice cracks. He lowers his eyes, trying to turn away, unable to find the strength to face you.
But you take his jaw in your gentle hands and force him to look at you. Sweet, angel of a girl that you are. And then you say without a waver to be found in your voice, "I like who you are. Do you think I gave the man who watches me through my window my phone number because I want some guy I could match with on Tinder?"
He tries to slow the rapid pounding of his heart. He wonders if love is supposed to be like this. To feel like this. All consuming and terrifying and devastatingly hopeful above all.
You shake your head and tuck your legs beneath you, sitting up on your knees. He sits stone still as you lean forward and kiss his cheek, whispering against his ear, "I've been watching you, too, Andrew Cody."
Something shifts inside of him as you say it. Uttering his last name that he'd never given you, that isn't even on his lease because this is a fake apartment under a fake name to launder the money they steal.
Ohâsweet, smart girl. Smarter than he thought.
How silly of him to ever doubt you.
There's a newfound wildness in your eyes when they meet his again. An unveiling. Like he's seeing you for who you truly are for the first time.
And you'reâŠgod. So fucking beautiful.
And, yeah. Pope thinks he's been right this whole fucking time.
He's weird and wrong and sickly obsessed.
But you are, too.
Andrew takes you by the back of the neck and kisses you hard, desperate to taste you, to close what little physical space remains between your body and his. He pushes you back against the mattress and follows you down.
Your hands find his belt buckle before he does, and he stares down at you as your deft fingers pry the leather open and unbutton his jeans. He helps you push the denim down his legs until his cock springs free, heavy and leaking. Wanting for you, twitching as you take it carefully in your hand.
A groan reverberates at the back of his mouth. Your hands are so soft. Perfect and pliant. One day, he swears he'll show you how he likes to be touched. He'll let you sit in his lap and watch him stroke his cock for you.
But for now, he lets you touch him slowly. Experimental. Feeling the heavy weight of him in your palm. You spit on your fingertips and spread your saliva over his sensitive tip, flushed red and pulsing beneath your touch.
You lean back and guide him between your thighs, sliding the head of his cock through your syrupy folds and over your clit.
The moment you line him up at your entrance, Pope eases inside and you let out the sweetest fucking sigh he's ever heard in his entire life. Sweet and soft and so, so satisfied.
It's so beautiful. You're so beautiful. And you feel warm and heavenly and wet around him. He pulls out slowly, almost all the way, and then drives his cock back into your cunt.
You squeal and those sharp, acrylic nails dig into his spine. But your legs circle his hips, and so Pope does it again.
He fucks you hard. Claiming that spot at the back of your cunt, pressed right up against your cervix. He rolls his hips and presses his mouth to yours, swallowing up those desperate, carnal sounds he pulls out of our chest.
Sweet girl. Sweet fucking girl. He reaches between you and circles your clit. "My girl now," he says, words spoken against your lips. "You'll never need anyone else, baby. No one but me."
You nod, the velvety walls of your pussy squeezing around the hard length of his cock.
Andrew puts his whole weight on top of you, grinding himself between your thighs, giving you everything he has. Everything he is.
"I'm yours," you choke out. "I'm yours, I'm yours, I'mâ"
It becomes a mantra. One that feeds his desire, in perfect sync with the rhythm of his thrusts. He watches your arousal begin to crest, nearing the summit, the muscles in your thighs twitching. "Look at me, baby," he says. "Tell me you love me when I make you cum."
You're so lost in it, head all spacey, that your eyes remain closed until he takes your jaw in a firm grip.
There are pretty tears in your eyes when you open them, but that smile on your face is present, too. He feels you pulse around him and your breath gets all shallow and thenâ
"I love you, Andrew, I fuckingâoh my god please, pleaseâI love you."
The words are music to his ears, tingling down his spine, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He thought the sound of his name in your mouth was beautiful but thisâŠfuck. He could die.
Pope thinks he would. For you, he would.
He fucks you through it. Tastes your moans and says, "Yeah, that's it. Give it to me. Look so pretty when you cum for me."
He doesn't let his pace falter until your muscles loosen, until your nails stroke gently over his spin instead of leaving marks.
You pepper sweet kisses over his jaw, tongue sliding up the shell of his ear. "I want you to cum inside me," you tell him.
He's been fighting it the whole time, trying desperately not to blow his load before he'd at least gotten you there first.
But when you say that?
When you say, "Please, Andrew. Want you to give it to me. Want you to fill me up with your cum. Please. I need it."
He thinks about telling you that you don't have to beg. Not him, not for anything (especially this). But you just sound so pretty, begging for his cum, that he can't bring himself to do it.
So, he gives you what you want instead. Fucks his cum into you, groaning low in your ear, cock pulsing inside you. You feel so good wrapped around him it's euphoric. Otherworldly.
Your pussy grips tight, milking him dry, taking every last drop (he knows you're on birth control. Don't you know the women's clinic downtown keeps a spare key beneath the plant in front of their door?).
Andrew is careful when he slides out of you. And he wastes no time before kicking his jeans the rest of the way off and pulling you against his chest.
He pulls the blanket up around your shoulders and presses a kiss to your hairline. His voice wavers a little as he says, "Sorry if IâŠif I was a little rough."
You shake your head, pressing your nose to the divot between his pectorals. "It was perfect," you murmur against his skin.
Silence settles between you. Comfortable and easy, the sound of your breathing in perfect synchronization.
After some time you say, "I meant it, you know. Wouldn't have said it if I didn't. I really think I might be in love with you, Andrew. Is thatâŠcrazy?"
Yes, he wants to say.
But he feels it, too.
So instead he says, "You know, I don'tâŠI don't have much experience with that sorta thing. Don't really know how toâŠto navigate it, I guess. But, uhmâŠyeah. Me, too."
He feels that smile of yours against his chest.
Andrew knows that this dynamic the two of you have created is weird.
Or: Clark returns after a seemingly never-ending mission with the Justice League
Warnings: Not really, a little angsty at the beginning but only because you miss / are worried about Clark. Pure fluff after. â NOT PROOFREADING DONE
Morph's thoughts: Hadn't done one of these for Clark yet so here it is, I'm thinking weather i should do masterlist by charters now that i have one of each recurring character or wait a bit until there's a bigger collection â Also, I'm preparing a little series of fics that i hope to get out before June ends, if i don't please pretend i did. Thank you.
It had been an exhausting two weeks. You'd been woken up by Clark in the middle of the night, now fifteen days ago, brain still too sluggish to fully comprehend all the information he was throwing at you while getting his Superman suit on. Still, you had caught enough of it, something about a Justice League emergency, some intergalactic things going on that required his help. All you'd managed was to nod along to his words, getting out a quick request for him to be safe and make it home to you before he'd pressed a soft kiss to your lips before disappearing though the bedroom's window.
When your alarm had woken you up the next morning, eyes opening to find his empty pillow instead of his usual sleepy smile, it had dawned on you. It hadn't been a weird dream, Clark had really left for a mission that you had no idea how long could last.
Still, you'd avoided dwelling on it for too long, taking a shower and getting ready for the day, mentally reassuring yourself that it would go by quickly. After all he hadn't gone on his own.
That strategy had worked for about three days, where you'd been busy enough with work and meeting friends and family to not think about it too hard. But when the weekend had arrived âand just your luck, it being one of the very sparse rainy weekends in Metropolisâ you'd found yourself spending most of your time in a too-quiet apartment.
This is what you hated the most about this kind of mission, how lonely it felt without Clark around. If he was somewhere on Earth, even if he was gone for days at a time, he'd always sneak in a call or a message, something quick to check in. However, the moment he had to go into space all forms of communication got cut, even the coms system Oracle had given you that one time your phone had been compromised by Luthor.
From then on the days had dragged on by, the hours at work feeling long, but those spent alone in your apartment feeling longer. By the week and a half mark you'd started to space out your meetings with friends, clearly none of your non-super friends knew about your boyfriends identity so your worry over his "work trip" had started to rise questions about the well-being of your relationship. And your mutual friends that knew of Superman, well, they were preoccupied with the same intergalactic-level threat as Clark.
The best way you'd found to distract yourself was to have something playing on pretty much all hours of day. Like right now. It was bit sad, spending a Friday night cooped in while eating takeout from the Chinese restaurant down the street âone you'd have to avoid for a bit after Clark got back, given that they had greeted you by name as soon as they'd picked up your callâ in an old pair of your boyfriend's pyjamas while watching some kid's movie that was playing on TV.
It's not that the plan itself was a bad thing; however the fact that your usual Friday night would entail either date night with Clark or a couple of drinks with Lois and Jimmy added to how frequent the take out and random movie combo had been just in the last week, did make you feel a little extra bad tonight.
Pitying yourself a little too much, you'd set down the chow mein container, getting up from the couch and shuffling your way into the kitchen for a much needed glass of wine.
The task of finding the bottle opener and managing to take the cork out had been arduous enough after the last two weeks that you hadn't heard the balcony door squeak open. What you had undoubtedly recognised though was the sound of Clark's voice calling out your name from the living room.
In an instant the half-filled glass of wine had been completely forgotten as you run back into the room, jumping into your boyfriend's awaiting arms. Not caring about the dust and grime clinging to his face and suit, you hold onto him like a koala, pressing kisses all over his face.
He laughs as his arms wrap around you, tight, and gods how you've missed that sound. It makes you feel all warm and fuzzy, like you've laid down in a sunny spot after a long day at the beach. You only stop your rain of kisses when one of his hands moves to cup your cheek âthe other arm easily holding you upâ guiding your lips to his.
"I'm back," he murmurs softly, lips brushing against yours with every words. "In one piece, just like i promised." He steals your breath with another kiss, and then another. Your forehead rests against his while the two of you focus on catching your breath. Your eyes lost in his blue ones when he steals one more little peck. "I'm home, baby."
i saw a video where the wife texts her husband that sheâs leaving while heâs busy and he immediately gets up and searches for her to stop her, do you think you could pls write that with clark? thank you!Â
Ty for requesting! fem, 0.7k
Clark gets a wrinkle between his brows when heâs reading. Itâs an expression completely paradoxical to his own enjoyment; he looks like he could throw his tablet across the room and never read again, but heâll tell you how great it was later, over dinner or laying against you in bed.Â
You are, admittedly, attention-seeking as you write him your text. But can you be blamed? You figure anyone with a boyfriend like yours would seek his attention, and often, especially when youâve been home from work for three hours waiting for him to finish his book so you can make dinner together. He insisted.Â
You created a new recipe for work that got the third page in the Daily Planetâs spread a few days, and though Clark had the privilege of trying it many many times while you were developing it, he insisted you make the finished product together to celebrate your âgeniusâ and to âappeaseâ his stomach, which loves your cooking.Â
Im leaving, you type, pondering how best to get him to come and love on you. text me when ur done with ur book <3Â
You add the heart because you donât want him stricken by the text, and you certainly donât want to start an argument. Youâd just like him to dote on you and also some dinner. Usually youâd simply tap him on a hard shoulder and say, Hey angel, did you forget the time?Â
The text pings. Clark reads a few more lines of his book before he puts down his tablet and takes his phone in hand, tapping in his password, and opening your texts. He reads the newest one with a pinched brow, then his head snaps up as he gives a small, fearful gasp.Â
âHey, where are you going?â he asks, scrambling up off of the sofa toward you where youâre half hiding in the kitchen. âDonât leave.â
âIâm just gonna do some errands and stuff while youâre reading. Oofââ
The air puffs out of you from the force of his grabbing. He takes you into his arms and folds you into an embrace that smells like woody pear blossom and almond oil, your face forced into the curve of his neck. âWhy didnât you say something, bubby?â he asks, sounding truly, sincerely heartbroken. He pulls his arm up your back and makes another small gasp. âJeez, look at the time. Iâm sorry, I didnât realise it was getting this late! Gosh, I bet youâre starving to death, poor girl, Iâve completely neglected you.â
You wrap an arm behind him, feeling the solid planes and shapes of his muscles beneath your warm hand. âA little,â you say, too soft, too silken. Itâs nearly silly how small your voice sounds.Â
Clark just sighs. âDonât go get errands without me, sweetheart, you need something to eat first. You canât skip dinner, youâll give yourself a headache. Iâll give you a headache,â he says, sounding rather self-loathing. âSorry. Iâve ignored you.â
âWell, yeah, but thatâs usually how reading goes.â
âI thought there wasnât a ton leftââ He tips your head back. Itâs not forceful, and yet, at the same time, you feel moved, like you donât have much choice in things as he handles you into whatever position heâd like you to be. He smiles when he meets your eyes, presses a short, sweet kiss to your cheek. âSo sorry. Iâm a jerk.âÂ
âClark, itâs okayââ He pecks you and starts cutting off your words, âIâm not madâ I didnât want to wasteâ my eveningâ sat at the bar scrollingâ on myâ oh my godâ on my phone.â You giggle, kissed into tingling lips and warmed by his big hands running up and down your back. âCan I have another one?â
Clark leans down slowly to give you another kiss.Â
âWe will make dinner right now,â he says into your mouth, âso please donât leave. Howâm I supposed to cook with my heart missing?â Itâs so insanely corny, you wrap yourself around him like an octopus. He shifts backward to take all your weight. âIs this a yes to staying?â he asks into your cheek.Â
âCan you cook with me like Iâm a backpack?âÂ
â summary: michael robinavitchâs willpower was a force to be reckoned with. god only knows where your former lover went beneath all that restraint and self destruction. Itâs a good thing jack abbotâs willpower was never quite that strong
â pairing: michael robinavitch x reader, & jack abbot x reader
â warnings: 18+ mdni, smut, angst, cheating, p in v, face sitting, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, oral f receiving, cream pie, public sex, dirty talk, size kink, praise kink, jack abbot talks you through it, aftercare
â word count: 7.7k
â notes: hello did you guys miss me đ
Your relationship with Michael Robinavitch was the worst-kept secret in PTMCâs history, right next to Princess and her affinity for rigging the betting boards. Now it wasnât just because Dr. Robby loved a hot, young resident; it was just how obvious he was about it, at least in the beginning.
He was clingy, always over your shoulder on cases. His gloved hand grabbing yours to instruct you through a procedure, even when it was entirely uncalled for. He doted on you, and god forbid anyone else look at you for two long. Dana compared him to a rabid dog, claiming his territory whenever a patient got handsy or an intern asked about you.Â
If you werenât working together you were on the phone, at his house, on dates. He'd take you out, show you off. A hot, young thing on his arm was just what his ego needed. You were attached at the hip, for the first year anyways.
You werenât sure when it started to go downhill, it was gradual, like an avalanche starting with the smallest snowball.Â
You used to start your days rolling around together in his sheets, snoozing the alarm both of you just begging for a few more minutes in his arms.Â
Now?Â
He was gone before you woke up, and wasnât home until you had already gone to bed. You were two ships, barely passing in the night. At work, he only talked to you when it was necessary, gone were the days of teasing each other over the nurses' station or hidden kisses in the break room.
Now you were lucky that he called you anything other than Dr. Y/l/n.Â
The sex had started off hot and heavy. It was sex in on-call rooms and being bent over whatever surface he could find. Now, you couldnât remember the last time you had sex, but when you did it was missionary that lasted less than 10 minutes. Heâd grunt, kiss your forehead, and roll over. Long gone were the days heâd spend in between your thighs, making sure you came before he did.Â
Date ideas were shot down, heâd take extra shifts or have âmeetingsâ into late hours of the night. You werenât dumb, you werenât oblivious to the signs that were right there, but you were blindly in love. You thought he loved you, thought he still held the same admiration and respect for you as he once did.Â
When youâd voice your complaints heâd apologize, buy some cheap flowers, and take you out on the way over to your apartment, but lately he hasnât even done that.Â
No one really knew, not really. Everyone knew something was up with Robby, but no one was able to get the truth out of him, so why bother? Â
It felt like you were dating a ghost of the man he used to be, so full of life and passion for his job.Â
You hadnât seen him outside of this ED in almost two weeks, he was snappy and dismissive, always droning on and on about this sabbatical he was going to be taking. You couldnât give less of a shit, it was just another excuse to run away from his problems, and more importantly you.
Which is why when McKay came over, talking about how she needed to get laid, you interrupted.Â
âMe too, sister.â You sighed, chewing on the straw of your slightly watered-down latte. âItâs been likeâŠ..months.âÂ
They all looked at you like you had grown a third head, even Samiraâs eyebrows were furrowed.
âReally?â McKay asked, her voice quieting in concern.
You just nodded, âYup.âÂ
âYou and Robby are still?â She trailed off, not wanting to overstep.Â
âYup.â You repeated, taking a noiseless sip of your watered-down coffee.Â
She made a noise, confusion still written all over your face. âIâm sorry to pry, but⊠why?âÂ
âYeah, youâre young and hot. Plus you guys used to be all over each other.â Samira joined in.
Another shrug, âWish I fucking knew. Iâve been trying for weeks. I barely see him anymore, he says he still loves me but he wonât even look at me,â You breathe out, âAnd he doesnât touch me. I mean I went out and bought an overpriced slutty little pajama set, practically threw myself at him and you know what he said? That I should probably start sleeping at my apartment again, because heâs gonna have Whittaker house sit for him while heâs gone.âÂ
Charts were long neglected, Samira all but threw her pager down on the desk as they crowded closer.
âOh, oh no honey.â McKay frowned, âThatâs not good.âÂ
âYouâre telling me.â Your hands are thrown up, ignoring others' eavesdropping on the conversation. Dana had heard it all before, and you were certain Abbot was too busy trying to figure out how to handle this ED without the man you were all gossiping about.Â
âI mean, if heâs not getting it from you I mean heâs getting it from somewhere right?â She says, as empathetically as possible.Â
Samira slaps her arm gently, but she has that knowing empathetic crease in her brow.Â
âWhat she means to say,â Samira smiles, âHe does seem to be going through something, but I donât think heâd do anything like that do we?âÂ
You met McKayâs eyes, both of you sharing a knowing look.Â
âNo, he probably would.â You admitted, sounding more deflated than you wanted to.Â
It had crossed your mind, there was no way it hadnât. He was just a man at the end of the day. The whispers of the nurse slash case manager slash pain in your ass had found herself in this ED almost every day, attached to the hip of none other than your boyfriend.Â
âOr, heâs just going through something and heâs too ashamed to confide in you about it? I mean he is about to leave on some spiritual journey.â She offers, with much more optimism than youâve had in months.Â
âYeah, okay,â You laughed, âHeâs on his big midlife crisis journey to find a little zest of life, a new sense of purpose. Whatever bullshit heâs convinced himself of, but why?âÂ
Your voice cracked a bit on the last syllable.
âIâm right here, but itâs like I'm invisible. Not since Noelle has been prancing around the ER like a bloodhound.âÂ
The drink in your hand is slammed on the counter, the condensation making it slide over a little as you continue.Â
âMaybe bankrupting people on the worst day of their lives is a new turn on for him.â You grumbled, watching the man slip out of one of the rooms, avoiding even looking over in your direction. âI mean, he wonât even look at me. Itâs like heâs a stranger.âÂ
âI donât like her, and I donât like him for treating you like that. Heâs a grown man, he needs to at least communicate his feelings to you.â Samira sighed, picking her tablet up again, âI have a patient in south, but call me tonight if you donât wanna be alone!âÂ
âThank you.â You frowned, squeezing her arm as she ran off.Â
You settled back next to McKay, arms brushing.Â
âDo you think heâs cheating on me?â You ask as soon as Samira is out of earshot.Â
A noise between a scoff and a cough leaves her mouth, âFuck, I hope not. Maybe try to just ask him before he leaves tonight. The last thing you need is to waste 3 months waiting for him to come back if heâs already halfway out the door.âÂ
âHeâs not even halfway,â You laughed, âThereâs one pinkie toe left on the door frame.â
âSee, you still have your humor. Youâre gonna get through this, promise. Especially if you think itâs worth fighting for, but if not? Fuck him.â She smiled
Every part of you wanted to believe her, but optimism had felt embarrassing lately. Your failing relationship was put on display at work and at home. Sometimes it felt like you were the last person to know that it was over. Maybe you were clinging to the past, to the good parts that were no longer there.Â
There you stood in silence, trying so desperately to absorb her words. Was it worth fighting for? You couldnât remember the last time he kissed you slowly. The last time he reached for you first. The last time he looked at you without something heavy sitting behind his eyes.
Dana was yelling about traumas incoming before the silence between you and McKay could grow any heavier.
âThere goes our break.â McKay sighed, and your shoulders slumped.Â
You laughed quietly and tossed your cup into the trash harder than necessary before following her out.Â
By the time you reached the trauma bay, Robby was already there.
He stood at the foot of the bed pulling gloves onto long fingers, posture rigid with that familiar calm intensity that once made your stomach flutter whenever you watched him work. Even exhausted, even emotionally hollowed out by whatever private war he refused to talk about, the entire room still bent around him effortlessly. Residents straightened when he spoke. Nurses moved faster. Everybody trusted him instinctively. You remember when you used to trust him like that too. You remember envisioning him as a god in this ED.Â
âWhat do we got?â You asked, slipping your gloves on.Â
The kid could not have been older than twenty-six. Blood soaked through the front of his shirt and his skin already carried that terrible gray shade that always made your stomach tighten. What was even harder to miss was the large piece of rebar protruding from his chest.Â
âHigh speed rollover MVC into an industrial plant,â the paramedic started rapidly. âRestrained driver. Hypotensive en route. Rebar through the left shoulder and upper chest. Heart rate sustained one-forty. BP eighty over forty and dropping.â
The patient screamed the second they shifted him onto the trauma bed, blood soaking through the towels wrapped around his shoulder. A rusted length of rebar protruded grotesquely through the upper part of his chest near the clavicle, disappearing somewhere behind his shoulder blade. Every movement made fresh blood well up around the metal. The room exploded into movement around him instantly. Trauma shears cut through clothing while the nurses prepped IVs.Â
âJesus Christ,â McKay muttered, doing the FAST exam while you tried to get breath sounds.Â
 âGet vascular surgery on standby,â You shouted, pulling your stethoscope down, âDiminished breath sounds on the left, to be expected.â
The patientâs breathing was becoming shallower by the second, panic making his eyes glassy as he looked around the room.
âI canât breathe,â he gasped.
âStay with us,â you said quickly, pressing a hand against his good shoulder while assessing the wound. The bleeding had picked up noticeably since transfer and blood was now running steadily down the patientâs side onto the sheets below him.
âPressureâs dropping,â Princess warned from the monitor. âSeventy-two systolic.â
Robbyâs expression hardened immediately. âHeâs gonna need an OR now, page surgery, again.âÂ
Ogilvie, the new intern, who was just supposed to be calling surgery again proceeded to spin around too fast bumping the rebar just enough to make the patient scream.Â
Fresh blood poured out around the wound, spilling on the floor with such quickness it felt like a horror movie.Â
âOh my God,â Ogilvie gasped, âSurgery is on the way, O-oh my god.â
And before anybody could stop you, your hands moved.
You grabbed the exposed section of rebar firmly with one hand and shoved your other gloved hand directly into the wound around it, bracing the metal in place while applying pressure internally where the bleeding was coming from.
The patient cried out so loudly that the entire room froze while blood immediately soaked down your wrist. You could feel it dripping onto your legs, but you couldnât do anything about it.Â
âWhat the hell are you doing?â Robby snapped, spinning back toward you.
âHeâs bleeding around the entry point,â you shot back through gritted teeth, keeping the rebar stabilized manually while your hand compressed whatever vessel had started hemorrhaging deeper inside. âIf this shifts again heâs dead.â
âYou do not put your hand inside a penetrating chest wound blindly-â
âHeâs fucking crashing!â You nearly yelled, frustration pouring off of you in waves. âI know how to do my fucking job Dr. Robinavitch. Do you?âÂ
As if to prove your point, the monitor alarm changed pitch while the patientâs pressure plummeted again.
âSixty systolic,â McKay called sharply.
âDo you?â He laughed dryly, âBecause heâs still bleeding out while youâre having a fit.â
You adjusted your hand deeper despite the patientâs scream and suddenly felt it, hot blood pulsing hard against your palm before slowing significantly beneath your pressure.
The room went silent around the two of you except for the screaming monitor beside the patient. For one horrible second doubt crept into your chest. Maybe you were wrong. Maybe exhaustion and resentment and weeks of emotional whiplash had clouded your judgment. But, then the bleeding lessened almost immediately.Â
âThere,â You breathed out, finally looking up to see his hardened gaze still on you. âFuck you.âÂ
If looks could kill, youâd be dead on the floor in this patient's blood.Â
You ignored the gasps around the room, the heavy slam of his palm against the door after he stormed out. You were only focused on the patient, controlling the bleed while the others worked around you.Â
Transport unlocked the gurney while blood products were rushed in behind you. Surgery came in not long after that, letting you ride up to the OR with your hand against the artery. As soon as he was stabilized, you were dismissed. Adrenaline crashed through your system all at once afterward, your hands trembling faintly as you stripped bloody gloves from your fingers, shedding off your ruined scrubs.Â
You barely made it into the hallway of the ED before Robby caught your wrist hard enough to stop you. Like he had been waiting to hear you come down the stairs.
âWhat the hell was that?â he hissed.
You stared down at his hand around your arm before slowly looking back up at him. âExcuse me?â
âYou do not disrespect me in front of residents,â He spat, âHere I am your superior, do you understand that?â
The disbelief that hit you almost outweighed the adrenaline still buzzing through your bloodstream.
âThatâs what youâre upset about right now?â You could have laughed in his face.Â
âYou could have torn the subclavian completely,â he hissed. âYou could have killed that guy.â
âIf I didnât do something he was going to bleed out before surgery even got down here.â You snapped, âIâm a good fucking doctor Robby, and you know it, yet you seem insistent on making me feel like an idiot.âÂ
His eyes finally locked onto yours then, dark and burning with something that looked dangerously close to humiliation. The station had gone completely silent around you both now. Even the residents nearby were pretending not to stare.
Robby stepped closer suddenly, crowding into your space just enough to make the air around you tense.
âJust because weâre fucking,â he said lowly, bending down toward you, âdoesnât mean you get special treatment.âÂ
The silence afterward was catastrophic. Your face went blank for a second before an incredulous laugh escaped you.
âOh really?â you asked loudly enough for everybody nearby to hear. âThatâs interesting considering we arenât.âÂ
His jaw flexed hard, and you could see the anger brewing in his eyes. The same ones that used to bring you comfort were now glaring down at you.
You took another step closer anyway, eyes glassy now, and lowered your voice.Â
âYou havenât touched me in fucking weeks, months even.â You said, your voice steady. âSo what is it? Are you fucking her?âÂ
Robby looked genuinely caught off guard for the first time all day.
âWhat?â he snapped, after wiping the guilty look all over his face.Â
âDonât act fucking stupid.â You spat, pointing through the doors to where Noelle was standing around the hub.Â
He laughed, actually laughing and shaking his head like he was dismissing something unbelievable. âThatâs insane, Noelle works here.âÂ
Your expression shifted immediately, âYeah? So do I.â You laughed humorlessly.Â
âNothing is going on.â He said quickly, grabbing your arm to pull you away from the nurses as they hovered around the hub.Â
âYou hesitated when I asked.â You barked back.Â
âI did not hesitate.â
âYou absolutely fucking hesitated.â
âYou know,â His voice now boomed, everyone undeniably watching the interaction between you two. âNot everything is all about you. Maybe if you actually did your job instead of gossiping about things you know nothing about-â
âBrother,â Abbottâs voice suddenly cut in as he appeared beside Robby, grabbing his shoulder before the situation could combust any further. âTake a beat.â
You were both so lost in the heat of the argument that neither of you noticed him slipping into the hall.Â
Robby yanked his arm back immediately. âIâm fine.â
For a moment you thought Robby might actually explode. His whole body looked wound tight enough to split apart, anger and guilt and exhaustion all fighting for dominance across his face. But then Abbott pulled him back another step, positioning himself between the two of you.
Robby just nodded, Abbot tapped his chest once before the two attendings stepped aside. You shared a look with Abbot for just a brief moment, before they disappeared down the hall. You slumped against the wall, the adrenaline escaping you so fast you felt lightheaded.Â
Your chest hurt, there was this ugly aching pressure sitting right beneath your ribs, heavy and humiliating and impossible to ignore. The cruelty of his words opened your eyes.Â
Just because weâre fucking.
Like you were some nurse he fooled around with after conferences. Like the last year of your life together had been reduced to something cheap and transactional the second he got angry enough.Â
You laughed bitterly under your breath, scrubbing a hand down your face hard enough to hurt.
You pushed off the wall before you could start crying in the middle of the hallway and headed back toward the nurses' station on autopilot. Dana sat behind the desk flipping through charts, reading glasses low on her nose while complete chaos unfolded around her as usual.
She looked up immediately when you approached.
âYou okay?â
âSure,â you said, voice oddly flat even to your own ears. âWhat did Noelle want?âÂ
Dana hummed distractedly. âYeah, something about some charts. I got a question for ya.âÂ
You swallowed once, nodding for her to continue.
âDoes Robby sleep with his TV on?â
You frowned automatically, caught off guard by the question. âYeah,â you answered slowly. âDrives me fucking insane, Iâve barely seen him lately. Been glad to sleep in the dark.â
Danaâs face fell immediately. clicking her jaw tight.Â
Your stomach dropped so violently that it almost hurt.
There was a horrible pause before Dana looked away from you briefly, lips pressing together like she was debating whether or not to continue.
Then quietly, carefully, she said, âNoelle said something weird about him sleeping with his TV on. Asked her how she knew that and she just shrugged, said she had some papers to file.âÂ
Your stomach dropped so hard it felt physical. You stared at Dana blankly, your brain refusing to catch up to what your body already understood. Danaâs expression softened instantly the second she saw your face change.
âOh honey,â she breathed.
âIf heâs not getting it from you, heâs getting it from somewhere. McKayâs words came crashing back so hard that it made your chest cave inward.
Suddenly every little thing replayed itself with brutal clarity. The veil is finally being pulled from your eyes.
âHow fucking stupid am I?â you laughed softly, though it came out sounding dangerously close to breaking.
Dana leaned forward immediately. âYou are not stupid-âÂ
You cut her off with a shake of your head, humiliation already swallowing you whole.Â
âC-can you get someone to cover-âÂ
âCourse, course.â She rushes out, and thatâs all you need before your feet are moving you to the on-call room. The door is slammed with such violence that the sound makes your ears ring.Â
You barely made it two steps before your knees weakened and you sank onto the edge of the narrow cot, both hands pressed hard against your mouth while you fought to steady your breathing.
The room smelled faintly like old detergent and stale coffee. Somebody had left a sweatshirt hanging over the back of a chair. The television mounted in the corner sat muted on some daytime court show.
Even now, sitting there piecing together the possibility that he had been sleeping with another woman while coming home to you every night, some horrible part of you still wanted him to walk through the door and explain it all away. You wanted there to be another answer. Another explanation. Anything besides this.
There was a soft knock on the on-call room door, making your heart race. When you took too long to respond, it cracked open just enough for you to see Abbotâs head popping in the doorframe.Â
You deflated, of course it wouldnât be Robby coming to look for you. He didnât care, and he probably hadnât in a long time.Â
âYou decent in here?â His timber voice asked, making you rub your eyes gently.Â
âAs decent as I can be.â You answered, watching him take a timid step inside.Â
He shut the door quietly behind himself before leaning back against it with crossed arms.
âYou scared the hell outta Dana,â he said gently. âShe said you looked about two seconds from passing out.â
You looked down at your hands instead of answering.
Abbot sighed softly after a moment. âListen,â he started carefully, âRobbyâs⊠not doing well right now. Iâve seen it, I know youâve seen it. Heâs said some stuff to Dana today thatâs really concerning.â
A bitter laugh escaped you instantly.
âNo kidding.â You whistled, eyes focused on a crack in the tiled floor.Â
âI also know heâs been using you as his emotional punching bag while he falls apart, instead of getting actual help.âÂ
âYou seem to have it all figured out, huh?â You laughed bitterly, pressing your palms against your eyes so hard spots filled your vision. âDid you also know heâs been fucking the new case manager?âÂ
You hear his posture shift as he pushes himself off the wall, âWhat the fuck?âÂ
A humorless laugh broke out of you again before you could stop it, fraying at the edges as it built into something worse.Â
âI think Iâm probably the last person to know,â You laughed, âSâbeen going on for months. I just didnât wanna see it.â
âHe cheated on you? Oh, sweetheart-â
You donât give him any time to start the empathy, the anger boiling up inside of you threatening to tip over.Â
âListen, Iâm a feminist, but what does that bitch have that I donât? Iâm y-younger, Iâm prettier, hell of a lot smarter, I donât spend my time preying on men with girlfriends.â You cackled, âIâve done everything for him. Iâve put up with his mood swings, I took care of his house, I attended all of his family bullshit, I put up with him putting work before me, I did everything. For what?â
Abbot was silent, his eyes darkening as he watched you lose your composure.Â
âI mean,â A crazed laugh sputters out of your mouth, âhe never even really took care of me. So I wasted all of that time for what? It was always all about him. Him, him, him-âÂ
âIâd take care of you.âÂ
The words hit the room like something dropped too suddenly into still water.
Your eyes go wide, an anxious laugh escaping your lips. âIs that a joke?â You ask, but your throat is tight and suddenly your hands are damp underneath his attention.Â
Itâs then you realize during your rambling heâs taken purchase in one of the chairs across from the cot you were sitting on. Your feet nearly touching.Â
âNah,â His voice was rougher than before, and it made chills run down your spine, âI heard you earlier you know? Talking to McKay. He has a sexy young, incredibly talented doctor in his bed, practically half naked and heâs not taking care of you? Thatâs a fucking shame darling.âÂ
The room went silent after that except for the distant muffled noise of the ER beyond the door and the sound of your own heartbeat pounding so hard you swore he had to hear it too. You couldnât speak, you couldnât do anything but stare into his hardened eyes.Â
âSo Iâll say it again, Iâd take good care of you. God, if you were mineâŠ.youâd never have to worry about anything. Iâd practically worship you.â He whispered, shifting his body closer to yours.Â
âIs this a trick?â You asked, your voice shaky. So was your breath when his face drifted closer without you even noticing him move. He was close enough now that your words brushed against his lips when you spoke. Close enough to count every faint freckle scattered across his nose, every tired line at the corners of his eyes.
âNot a trick,â He assured.
âArenât you two friends?âÂ
âBest,â he whispers, and his lips just barely brush against yours.Â
âThen why..â Your breath trembles.
âIâve watched him have everything Iâve ever wanted and he still treats you like youâre disposable,â he said quietly, the words tight with something like anger heâd been holding onto for too long. âAnd Iâve had to stand there and say nothing about it because heâs my friend. Iâve stood there and defended him, because you said you loved him.â
His gaze flicked to your mouth again, slower this time, deliberate.
When did he get so close?Â
âThat stops being easy after a while.â He said, his eyes back on yours.Â
Youâre practically panting into his open mouth before words manage to form, âHow would you take care of me?âÂ
His honey brown eyes glisten, âI could tell youâŠOr I could show you?â
You should have stood up and walked out. You should have told him this was a mistake and you were emotional and hurt and angry and that this wasnât how you wanted this to go.Â
Instead, your body betrayed you completely.
Because for the first time in months, somebody was looking at you like they wanted you. Somebody who always saw you. Every nerve in your body feels like itâs on fire. You havenât felt this alive in a long time.
Your eyes dropped briefly to his mouth before you could stop yourself. He noticed immediately, letting his hand slowly reach up to cup your cheek. His callused hands held your face in his hands like you were porcelain.Â
âTell me to stop,â he said quietly.
The words barely registered through the rush of heat and heartbreak and loneliness colliding inside your chest. Your lips parted, but no words came out. You didnât want him to stop, the tingle in your fingertips and the heat growing in your stomach wanted the exact opposite.Â
Abbot exhaled shakily at that, forehead nearly brushing yours now. âJesus Christ,â he muttered softly, eyes closing for half a second like he hated how much he wanted this too.
Then you kissed him.
It happened all at once and painfully slow somehow, your hand gripping the front of his shirt while your mouth crashed clumsily into his. Abbott made a rough sound low in his throat immediately, one hand holding your jaw while the other reached for your hips.Â
The cheap cot squealed loudly beneath both your weight when you tugged him down with you, the sound almost drowned out by the chaos still carrying on outside the on-call room.Â
Every kiss felt like you two were devouring each other. Your fingers pushed into his hair while his mouth moved hot and deep against yours, each breath stolen back only to lose it again seconds later. The tension wound through him was obvious now in the way he held himself over you, like he was trying so hard not to crush you beneath the weight of everything heâd apparently wanted for far too long.
His body was hot and heavy against yours, where youâd settled between his legs. His rough hands moving from your hips to cup your tits through your scrub top. He squeezed harshly, making a pathetic mewl escape your lips.Â
You pulled back just enough to breathe and that was somehow worse, because his eyes were dark and blown wide with lust his mouth swollen slightly beneath fluorescent lighting.
âDarling,â he breathed warningly, one last final chance to leave this room pretending as if nothing had happened.Â
All you could do was smirk up at him, âLock the door.âÂ
In all of his years, Abbot doesnât think heâs ever moved as fast as he did. He was sprinting to the door, locking it, and pulling the privacy shade down. It wasnât uncommon for it to be occupied during busy shifts. Dana was covering for you and Abbot wasnât even supposed to be working today.Â
By the time he hobbled back, you had slipped your scrub pants off, throwing your shirt to the side. You werenât wearing any fancy elaborate underwear, a simple sports bra, and cotton panty for work efficiency, but to Abbot, you would have thought you were on the cover of a magazine.Â
âSo fucking gorgeous.â He said, holding his pointer finger up in a little spin, âLet me see you.âÂ
You entertained him, spinning around playfully.Â
He let out a wolf whistle and lay himself down on the cot.Â
âDo you need help taking these off?â You asked, your hands reaching to tug at the strings on his pants.Â
He simply shook his head, patting his chest in a âcome hereâ motion. âYouâre gonna pull those little panties to the side and sit on my face,â He said slowly, as if you should have known exactly what he meant when he lay down on the cot.Â
âW-what?â You laughed shyly, âIâm too heavy for that-â
âThat's what that bastard told you?â He scoffed in disgust, âI served years in the military, I can handle it. Come here.âÂ
A shiver ran up your spine as you got on your hands and knees, crawling over to him. His arms gripped your thighs, moving you into position as if you weighed nothing.Â
You hesitated for a moment, feeling his warm breath hit against the embarrassingly wet spot against your underwear.Â
âNone of that hovering shit,â He whispered against you, âWant you to fuck yourself on my face. And Iâm not stopping until you beg me. Gonna make up for every time that bastard mistreated you.âÂ
A gasp tore out of your chest when he helped you pull your underwear aside, his mouth attaching itself to your warm cunt. With the first swipe of his tongue, he was moaning against you, his cock twitching at the taste of you.Â
Jack Abbot ate pussy like he was a starved man, which in a way he was.Â
Heâd spent the last year pining over you from afar, fisting his cock in the shower after a long shift thinking of you. Now? He was cherishing this as if it was his last meal, because hell it might be.Â
You stayed still on top of him, too focused on the sensation crawling up your body to realize you werenât moving.
A small smack echoed through the room, his hand tapping your ass making you cry out.Â
âI said, fuck my face.âÂ
He could feel you hesitating, could feel the way our hips urged to grind against him on a particular lick.
âF-fuck,â You cried, âI canât-âÂ
He pulled away again, his eyes pleading with you. âBaby, I only got one good knee but Iâll get down on it and beg if I have to.âÂ
A huff left your mouth as you pressed further into him, letting your cunt drag messily against his mouth. The sensation had you crying out his name. Between the soft stubble of his jaw, the wet heat of his tongue, and his nose nudging against your entrance with each lazy drag you were falling apart against him in no time. He talked you through it, his hands forcing you to keep grinding against him. Urging you to keep going.Â
âI c-canât,â You cried out, and in response, all he did was laugh into your heat. The vibration causing your toes to curl.Â
âMâ you can.â He spoke in between sloppy strokes of his tongue.Â
It was like he knew your body like the back of his hand, already as he slid his tongue inside of you using his nose to rub against your swollen clit.Â
You were coming again almost instantly, your hands coming down to run through his short curls. As you came you yanked against the roots, pushing him even further into your heat. All your fears of hurting or suffocating him were out the window, and Jack? Was living his absolute dream.Â
âOh, oh god.âÂ
You tried to pull off of him, only to be stopped by his heavy arms curling around your thighs once again. He just chased you, keeping his mouth attached to you.Â
âF-fuck, I want you to fuck me so bad.â You were nearly sobbing, your legs trembling in his hold as your cunt practically leaked all over his face. He didnât care, his tongue was still flicking expertly against you. âBaby, let me fuck you.âÂ
âOne more time,â His voice was muffled, his eyes glazed over. Drunk on the taste of you and the sounds that were leaving your lips. âLet me taste you one more time and Iâll fuck you real good baby.âÂ
He was addicted, completely addicted to the feeling of you coming apart against him.Â
âGod,â The word ripped from your mouth, your hips betraying you by grinding down on his face yet again. The tip of his nose rubbing messily against your clit with each swipe.Â
His fingers were digging so deeply into your thighs that you hoped it left bruises. Heâs holding you down on him so hard you have no choice but to let him move you, his tongue hits even deeper inside of you.Â
Then your eyes are rolling back in your head, your fingers tugging at his short locks as you cum around his tongue again. Each wave is more sensitive than the last as he coaxes it out of you.Â
There are spots in your vision as you come down, watching him kitten lick your throbbing clit by the time you come back to earth. Youâre panting against him, and heâs looking up at you like youâre an angel.Â
âHow was that?â He had the nerve to ask, sweat beading on his forehead while your release coated his face and neck.Â
You swung your shaky legs off of him, plopping down on the couch with a groan. âYou promised youâd fuck me.âÂ
At your pathetic little pleas, he smirked, bringing you in for a sweet kiss on the lips. You indulged him, ignoring that you could taste the hot, sweet taste of yourself on his lips. Heâs content on kissing you until youâre all but pulling him on top of you.Â
Youâre so desperate for him when he finally stands up, you crawl over to the edge of the bed mouthing over his clothed cock. It sits heavy in his scrub pants, twitching at the slightest pleasure.Â
âOh you little minx,â He groans, reaching down to cup the back of your neck. âYou wanna take it out?â
You nod, slipping your thumbs into his waistband to pull the fabric down his legs.Â
You nearly gasp at the sight of his cock springing out of his underwear, the tip slapping against your face. Heâs fucking huge, heavy in your hands as it falls to his mid thigh. Your mouth goes dry, eyes wide as you can feel your cunt clenching around nothing just at the sight.Â
âFucking knew youâd be bigger than him,â You canât help but say, your hand unable to wrap around his shaft.Â
âYeah? You thought about it?âÂ
You nod, your embarrassment long out the window. âI see the way you walk around here, knew it was heavy.âÂ
A throaty laugh escapes him as you pump him a few times, he lets out a soft hiss when you swipe at the pre-cum leaking from his tip.Â
âCome on,â He hums, âHands and knees baby, let me see that ass.âÂ
A schoolgirl giggle escapes you as you comply, getting into the position thatâs the easiest for him with his leg.Â
His hand comes down and slaps your ass gently, just enough to make you cry out as he positions himself at your entrance.Â
âLook at her,â he whistles, dragging his tip through your soaked folds, âSheâs trying to suckle me in, you want this bad donât you baby?âÂ
Your hands are gripping the sheets so hard already you know theyâre going to ache. âP-please.â Your voice is agonized with need.Â
âYou deserve it,â He cooed, slowly pushing inside of you. âI got you, baby. Mâalways gonna take care of you.âÂ
Tears escape your eyes in relief as he fills you up, each inch he pushes helps relieve the ache. The stretch is painful, but delicious as your cunt molds to accept every inch of him greedily. Your face somehow falls into one of the pillows, muffling your sobs of pleasure.Â
âT-there you go,â He praises, âLet it out. Taking me so well, almost there baby.âÂ
You feel like youâre being split apart, in the best way possible as his hips finally meet yours.Â
âKnew you could take it,â he breaths out, his eyes closing for a moment in pleasure as your wet heat clenches around him, âTightest pussy Iâve ever felt.âÂ
You let out a jumbled moan of incoherent words, begging, but you didnât even know what for. Heâs buried to the hilt, so deep inside of you it takes you a solid minute for your vision to come back to you.Â
âItâs so- oh- Jack- fuck, yes.âÂ
âThatâs my girl.â His hands are rubbing your lower back soothingly, waiting for the perfect moment to begin to move.Â
His hips snap into yours in deep calculated thrusts, making you drool all over the pillow youâre clutching like a lifeline.Â
The pace becomes relentless, his hips slapping so harshly into your ass that if it wasnât for the loud sounds of the ER it would be echoing throughout the whole hospital.Â
Just a few feet away outside of the on-call room door, Robbyâs hands were interlocked behind his head, sweat threatening to slip from his brow.Â
âWhere the hell are Abbot and Y/l/n?â He asked amongst the other doctors all running to their destinations, âWeâre drowning here and my senior resident and attending are AWOL.âÂ
He had no idea your hands were twisted in the cheap hospital sheets, your back arched as Abbot was splitting you apart expertly on his cock.Â
You were so sensitive and fucked out, it was no surprise your fourth orgasm of the night was creeping up.
âIâm gonna-âÂ
Abbot cuts you off, âI know,â His hand reaches around, desperately palming your clit, âYou gonna cum for me? Gonna let me take you home and show me those slutty little pajamas?âÂ
You nod wordlessly, feeling that familiar pleasure rushing through your body.Â
âMâ gonna kiss every inch of your perfect fucking body, then Iâm gonna fuck you to sleep and wake you up with my mouth on you. That something you want, baby?âÂ
âJ-jack,â You cried out,Â
âBreathe,â He demanded, his head falling on your shoulder to coo softly in your ear. âBreathe through it baby, sâjust feel it. Uh, there you go. Good girl, good fucking girl.âÂ
You came with a shout, one so loud that he had to place his palm over your opened mouth. You bit down on his palm, drool falling messily through his fingers as he never once let up his pace.Â
âOh my god,â Your muffled cries only spurred him on, his balls tightening as your body became pliant in his hold.Â
âFuck,â He grunted, âSâgood right? Just hold on a little bit, baby. You want me to come inside you?âÂ
Nodding limply against him, your eyes fluttered shut. You felt like you were floating, letting him use you to chase his own high.Â
âMâgonna fill you up, give you everything you fucking want.â His hips stuttered, before he came with a shattered moan.Â
âSuch a good girl.â He whispered, his body heavy against yours. He pressed a sweet kiss to the crook of your neck, slowly laying you down and slipping out of you.Â
The newfound emptiness made you whine softly despite yourself, the sound catching weakly in your throat as Abbott pulled away just enough to help clean you up. Your eyes stayed closed most of the time, your body heavy and loose against the thin mattress while the adrenaline and emotion finally began draining out of you all at once.Â
Every nerve ending still buzzed pleasantly beneath your skin, your thoughts drifting in and out like you were barely tethered to the room anymore.
âYou alright, sweetheart?â Abbott asked quietly. His voice sounded different now, much different from the voice that was just whispering filth into your ear.Â
You smiled lazily, âMâso good.âÂ
He grinned at you, helping you slip your clothes back on with such gentleness it made your heart ache.Â
Then he stood, holding a hand out toward you.
âCâmon.â
You looked up at him tiredly. âWhere are we going?â
âYouâre coming home with me after shift.â
Your eyebrows lifted, âI am?â
Abbott just shrugged like it was already decided. âIâm gonna take you to your place first so you can grab clothes and whatever else you need,â he said casually while helping pull you gently to your feet. âThen Iâm making you dinner.â
You blinked at him. âDinner?â
âWhatever you want.â His hands settled automatically at your waist once you were standing, steadying you when your knees wobbled slightly. âPasta. Steak. Pancakes at midnight. I donât care. Youâre not going home alone tonight.â
âBut-âÂ
âNo buts,â He cut you off, âWe can deal with everything else another day. Tonight let me keep taking care of you.âÂ
You nod softly, your heart aching at the care dripping out of his pores. It had been so long since you felt so held by someone.Â
âIâll meet you in the parking garage?â You asked, bringing his lips to yours for one more kiss before grabbing the doorknob.Â
âIâll be counting down the seconds, sweetheart.â
When you slipped out of the door, it was impossible to hide the flush burning across your cheeks or the awkward unevenness of your steps. Your hair was a mess from Abbotâs hands in it and your scrub top sat crooked on one shoulder no matter how quickly you tried fixing it.
The hallway air felt freezing against your overheated skin. For one brief second, you thought maybe youâd gotten lucky. The corridor outside the on-call rooms sat mostly empty, only the muffled chaos of the ER carrying faintly through the double doors farther down the hall. Your shift was almost up, so you assumed theyâd be stuck on handoff.Â
Then you looked up and saw Robby standing there. You deflated, turning on your feet in an attempt to escape. He had clearly just rounded the corner, chart still loose in one hand, exhaustion etched deep into the lines of his face. But the second his eyes landed on you stepping out of the on-call room alone, something in him visibly stalled.
His brows pulled together slightly while his gaze moved over you automatically, like he was trying to place why something looked wrong before his brain caught up to it. Your flushed face. The way you wouldnât fully meet his eyes. Your hair slightly disheveled despite your obvious attempt to fix it.
âHey,â he said finally, voice rough from exhaustion. âYou okay?â
The concern in it nearly made you laugh. Where had a fraction of that care been the past year?Â
Every part of you wanted to yell at him, to scream and punch his chest for making such a fool out of you. But you could still taste his best friend on your lips, so instead you just nodded too quickly and stepped around him before your face betrayed you further. Your shoulder brushed him lightly as you passed, and the second it did you felt him tense.
âY/n,â he called after you, more confused now, âI wanna talk to you before I leave-âÂ
His words died in his throat when the on-call door, the one you just escaped out of, opened from down the hall.Â
Abbot had stepped out into the hallway infuriatingly calm, casually shutting the door behind him while his hands were tying his scrub pants together. His hair looked slightly disheveled, and worst of all there was a smug satisfaction written plainly across his face that made your chest tighten in immediate panic.
You kept walking, planning on grabbing your bag and meeting Abbot in the parking garage anyway.Â
Robby just stared at him.Â
The confusion on his face had vanished entirely now, replaced slowly by disbelief so stark it almost looked physical. His eyes flicked once toward the closed on-call room door, then down the hallway in the direction you had disappeared, before finally settling back onto Abbot again.
âWhat the fuck?â Robby whispered, a cruel laugh threatening to slip out.Â
This only made Abbotâs smile grow wider, as he sauntered down the hall to meet his friend in the middle.Â
âListen, man,â Abbott said casually as he strolled closer, clapping Robby once on the shoulder like they were discussing something harmless over beers instead of detonating twenty years of friendship in the middle of a hospital hallway. âYour willpowerâs stronger than mine.â
Robby hardly reacted, he couldnât. His brain wasn't allowing the pieces to slot together.Â
He just stood there staring ahead while the meaning settled heavier and heavier into his chest by the second. His jaw flexed hard enough to visibly tick beneath his skin, eyes darkening with something that looked dangerously close to panic underneath the anger beginning to rise.
Then Abbot stopped a few feet past him as he had almost forgotten something.
âOh,â he added lightly over his shoulder, still wearing that same shit-eating grin. âTell Noelle we said hi.â
Shy!reader get sick and she visit the pitt at night
okay so this is set before they are a couple!!
thank you anon! i hope u enjoy <3
â
the waiting room was packed and sticky from the humidity.
almost every single chair was occupied as the television mounted on the wall played quietly over the constant murmur of conversations, ringing phones, and coughs.
she had been sitting there for nearly three hours.
at first she'd thought someone would call her back quickly.
and when an hour had passed, she decided to open her kindle app.
and when another hour passed she just couldnât focus anymore. her book long forgotten.
because every time a nurse appeared through the doors, her head lifted hopefully before sinking again.
the fever hadn't broken and if anything⊠it felt worse.
her body ached. her throat burned from the constant coughing, and the room was too bright and too loud.
twice she'd considered walking up to the desk and asking how much longer it would be.
twice she'd lost her nerve.
everyone else looked like they needed help more than she did anyway.
so she waited⊠and waited⊠and waited.
by the time someone finally called her name, she nearly missed it.
"miss?"
her head snapped up.
a nurse smiled.
"we've got a room for you."
relief hit her so hard she almost cried.
the exam room wasn't much quieter than the waiting room. voices carried through the hallway. monitors beeped somewhere nearby, and stretchers rolled past every few minutes.
she sat on the edge of the bed, hands folded in her lap, trying not to feel overwhelmed.
was she sitting weird?
what should she say when the doctor arrives?
she sighed, closing her eyes to calm her nerves before the door opened.
a young nurse stepped inside.
"hey, i'm mateo." he offered a friendly smile while pulling up her chart and read her name aloud.
his brows furrowed, recognizing her name but he pushed it to the side as she coughed into her elbow.
âsorry.â she sniffled.
some of her tension started to ease though, because mateo was easy to talk to. he was kind and he was nice to look at.
"so..â he gave her a smile. âwhat brings you in tonight?"
she explained her symptoms softly.
the fever that just wonât break.
the cough.
the exhaustion.
and the fact that she had barely eaten all dayâ her stomach would churn and turn whenever she tried to take a bite of anything.
mateo's expression became more serious as he listened.
"how long has the fever been running?"
"um.. about three days, iâd say.â
his head lifted from the notes he took. "hmm, three days?"
she nodded, coughing in the process making her gasp for air.
âsorry.â
"have you seen anyone before tonight?" he wanted to know.
"uh no."
mateo stared. "you waited three days?"
she looked down immediately, clutching her hands tighter together.
âi thought it'd go away." she let out a nervous chuckle.
a cough following suit. she apologized again, mateo smiled, dismissing it with a wave of his hand.
but before he could say anything else, movement outside the room caught his eye.
someone was passing by.
dark scrubs.
broad shoulders.
a coffee in one hand and a chart in the other.
jack abbot. his attending.
mateo looked up.
jack looked in and halted.
for a second, neither man moved.
mateo frowned in confusion.
"what?" he said to jack.
jack didn't answer.
his eyes were fixed entirely on the patient sitting on the bed. a knowing and surprised look plastered onto his tired features.
she was deathly pale.
flushed with the fever.
and suddenly mateo understood.
"oh."
the single word carried far more meaning than it should have.
because mateo knew.
he pulled it out of jack one night, after he came in for a shift with one of those schoolboy smilesâ and jack never did that.
jack abbot wasn't dating her.
but mateo kept telling jack that he could if he grew some balls.
jack stepped into the room, opening the door slowly.
"what are you doing here?" his question wasn't harsh.
it was concerned.. deeply concerned.
she blinked up at him.
clearly startled to see him.
"oh! uh.. hi."
mateo physically had to stop himself from smiling.
âheâs my neighbor.â she said to explain.
mateo nodded. he already knew but heâd never tell her that.
jack crossed his arms.
"you're sick."
she looked down at her hands.
"yeah?"
"howâs the fever?"
she hesitated and gaped at mateo.
mateo answered for her.
"well, sheâs had it for three days."
jack's jaw tightened.
"three days?"
she shrank visibly beneath the attention.
"i thought it would get better!â
neither of the men in front of her looked impressed.
jack rubbed a hand over his face.
for a moment he looked less like a trauma attending and more like a man trying very hard not to be worried about someone.
yet unfortunately for him, he was failing miserably.
like, really badly.
"have you eaten?"
a pause between her and mateo. jack winced.
"n-no.â she finally let out.
jack closed his eyes.
mateo immediately looked away towards the ceiling, fiddling his thumbs awkwardly because now he was witnessing something deeply personal.
when jack opened his eyes again, he looked directly at him.
"did we order labs?"
"already done."
"fluids?"
"i was about to hang them before you came in." he pointed.
jack nodded at that.
then he looked back at her.
his expression softened immediately.
"so you're gonna sit here," he said calmly, walking towards her bed.
he stoped so close that he felt her knees against his thigh and spoke again, âand you're gonna let us take care of you. and your going to stop apologizing for coughing."
her cheeks turned pink despite the fever.
because she had been apologizing.
constantly.
and of course jack had noticed.
his voice lowered.
"you understand?"
she gave him small nod.
"good."
and for the first time all night, she felt herself relax.
fem! reader. jack & reader in a relationship living together. parker being the bff reader needs in the moment. pregnancy! fluff tbh. ive been writing angst, thought you all could use some fluff. might make this a mini series. (?)
you know something feels wrong the second the nausea hits.
at first, you try to ignore it.
itâs just another night shiftâeveryone feels a little sick, a little exhausted. you tell yourself itâs just too much caffeine and not enough food. but halfway through checking vitals, your stomach twists so suddenly you nearly drop the chart in your hands.
âyou okay honey?â jack asks from beside you, concern already creeping into his voice.
you nod too quickly. âfine.â
youâre not fine. two minutes later, youâre rushing into the bathroom, barely making it to the stall before getting sick.
your eyes sting as you lean back against the wall afterward, breathing hard. âgreat,â you mutter to yourself.
ârough night?â
you look up to find parker standing in the doorway, concern written all over her face.
you groan softly. âplease pretend you didnât see this.â
âabsolutely not,â parker says immediately, moving to sit beside you against the wall brushing the strands of hair that fell forward out of your face and slowly rubbing circles on your back with her palm. âhow long have you felt sick?â
âi donât know. a couple days maybe.â you close your eyes at the feeling of parkers hand rubbing your back, leaning to put your head on her shoulder feeling sorry for yourself.
âfever?â
âno.â
âstomach pain?â
you shake your head.
parker studies you for a second, then narrows her eyes slightly. âwhenâs the last time you slept?â
you laugh weakly. âthatâs not a fair question.â
âwhenâs your last period?â
that makes you pause. you lift your head from parkerâs shoulder to look her in the eye. âno,â you reply immediately. âno way.â
âyou literally just did the mental math.â
âiâm stressed, parker. iâve just thrown up in this shitty hospital bathroom.â
âuh-huh.â
you stare at the floor. she stares at you. then, without another word, parker stands up. âdonât move.â
âparkerââ
âseriously. stay there.â
you watch her disappear out the door and drop your head into your hands.
twenty minutes later, youâre sitting in a locked bathroom stall staring down at a positive pregnancy test like it personally offended you.
âoh my god,â you whisper.
outside the stall, parker lets out a very loud, âi knew it.â
you laugh before you can stop yourself, somewhere between panic and disbelief.
âyou okay in there?â she asks softer this time.
you look down at the test again, heart pounding impossibly fast. âi think so?â
and somehow, thatâs the truth.
â
by the end of the shift, youâre exhausted in a completely different way.
the secret feels huge sitting in your chest.
jack notices somethingâs off immediately as the two of you walk to the car together. âyouâve been quiet,â he says gently.
you glance over at him in the early morning light. he looks tired, messy-haired, coffee in handâand suddenly this feels very real.
âcan we sit for a second?â you ask once you get home. immediately letting out a massive sigh as you sit on the couch.
his expression shifts instantly. âyeah. of course.â
the two of you settle onto the couch, still in scrubs, knees brushing.
jack turns toward you fully now. âyouâre starting to scare me a little.â
you let out a nervous breath.
âparker found me getting sick earlier.â
his brows pull together immediately. âwhy didnât you tell me?â
âbecause i didnât know what was wrong yet.â
âyet?â he repeats carefully.
your hands twist together in your lap before you finally look up at him.
âiâm pregnant.â
silence. complete silence.
for one terrifying second, jack just stares at you. then his face changes so fast it makes your chest ache.
âyouâre serious?â he asks quietly.
you nod once. âyeah.â
his eyes immediately soften, disbelief mixing with something warmer. brighter.
âweâre having a baby?â
the way he says itâlike itâs the most unbelievable thing in the worldâmakes tears sting behind your eyes.
you laugh shakily. âapparently.â
jack exhales a quiet laugh of his own before suddenly reaching for you, pulling you into him so fast you barely have time to react.
âheyââ
he kisses you before you can finish the sentence.
soft. breathless. smiling. when he pulls back, his forehead rests against yours.
âiâm so happy right now,â he admits quietly.
you blink at him. âyou are?â
that makes him laugh again, like he canât believe you even asked.
âare you kidding?â his hand slides gently against your cheek. âyeah, baby. i am.â
your chest feels tight in the best way.
âi thought youâd panic.â
âoh, iâm definitely panicking,â he says. âjust⊠happily.â
you laugh through the tears threatening your eyes, and he kisses you again instantly, softer this time.
âweâre having a baby,â he says again, mostly to himself.
and the look on his face when he says itâ
pure happiness.
like thereâs nowhere else in the world heâd rather be than right here with you.
Summary: You show up at the Pitt with throbbing, red knuckles, surprising your colleagues and your boyfriend, Jack (1.1k)
Warnings: pet names, use of y/n, mentions of creep, alcohol, nurse!reader punches the creep, possible medical inaccuracies, a lil pda, reader has hair long enough for Jack to tangle his fingers in
Your hand is throbbing as you wait for one of the doctors to come check you out. You don't want special treatment from your colleagues just because you work here. And you definitely don't want special treatment from your boyfriend, who might just lose it when he finds out.
So you decided to wait it out like everybody else in the waiting room. When it's finally your turn, you almost jump out of the seat.
Lupe's eyes widen when she reads your name and then actually sees you. You were so discreet wifh filling out the papers and handing them back, she didn't even recognise you. So she shakes her head in disbelief as she hurries to let you in.
"Hon, what are you doing here?"
You lift your hand up, showing her the raw knuckles. "Had a little accident."
"Doesn't look like an accident." She raises her brow at you, and you chuckle. If only she knew the real cause of it, she'd probably scold you right away.
"Okay, off you go." She lets you enter the ever busy ER, practically throwing you in front of your colleagues.
"Y/N?"
"Oh my god, what happened?"
"Jesus. Is that your blood?"
Lena, Shen and Ellis huddle around you immediately, and you try not to wander around the room to look for a certain handsome doctor.
Lena ushers you into an empty room and orders you to sit down immediately. Once again, they are all staring at you.
"Gosh. I can't believe I'm asking this but did you punch someone?" Ellis asks, clearly amused the most. She's not worrying like a mother hen only because you seem to be okay. Well, besides the throbbing hand.
Your cheeks heat. "Yes."
They just stare at you, completely taken aback. Because they can't believe that you, their sunshine nurse, punched someone.
"What's going on here?" Jack finds y'all huddled together in the small room. He doesn't notice you at first, not when you are hidden by all of them.
But when he finally does, he strides towards you immediately, barking orders at the rest of them (softly of course), the man is too weak when it comes to his nightcrawlers.
"What the fuck happened?" Jack rolls a stool next to the bed, gently lifting your hurt hand up into his glowed once. God, he looks so worried at you and you cringe as he examines the red hand.
Even the lightest touch hurts, and you wince loudly before you finally confess. "Punched a guy."
"You did what?" Jack's head snaps up at you, attention gone from your injury. There's a clear concern for you written all over his face, it's even worse than it was before.
"Punched a guy." You repeat again, a little smugly this time. Because it felt good, so good, even if your hand is in ruins right now.
"Why?" Jack asks as he probs at various point in your hand, you wince and grimace every time.
You sigh before you answer. "I went out with my girlfriends as you know, and there was a creep. And when he didn't take a no for an answer, I took care of it. Thumb out of my fist just like you taught me."
Jack just stares, dumbfounded just like the others. It takes him a second to process your words but when he does, you almost melt.
"Good girl." Is all he says proudly before he's moving towards the computer. He has to occupy his mind with work or otherwise he's going to break a few HR rules by kissing you at work.
There's no scolding, no shaming for doing that, just understanding and that makes your heart feel funny things.
"I'll order an x-ray, it seems you might have broken a bone." He types it in before he turns his attention back to you. "Anything else that hurts, angel?"
"No just the hand. I did want to kick him as well but he got arrested before I could do it." You tell him, and he just shakes his head at you, suppressing the huge, proud grin. He should not be indulging you in this behaviour.
"Okay, well no more throwing fist for you, sweetheart. I'll go get you some ice for it."Â And then Jack leaves with a soft squeeze of your knee, and you try not to fully lose it from the smallest touch.
You are like obsessed with your boyfriend, always craving more from him. More love, more kisses, more touch, more sweet words. But he's the same, obsessed with you beyond the reason.
Jack comes back a few minutes later with the ice pack clutched in his hand. He gently puts it over your hand, and it soothes the pain a little immediately.
"I'll be back with your x-ray results once that's done. And we'll see what happens after yeah?"
You hum in agreement, way too content in the fact that Jack's hand is tangled in your hair as he rubs slow circles into your jaw.
"Okay, angel. Try to get some rest." And then he gives you a quick kiss on the temple, HR rules be damned. Sleep finds you easily after that, and exhaustion from the pain, adrenaline and alcohol make it even easier.
-
When you wake up, Jack's there, his work bag slung over his shoulder and discharge papers in hand.
"Morning, sweetheart." He grins at your sleepy, smushed face. "No broken bones, just bad bruising. I got your discharge papers so we can go home."
You chance a look at your hand, only to find it wrapped up in bandage. Huh. You must have slept heavily when you didn't even feel somebody doing that.
"Home?"
"Yeah, baby. My shift ended so I can take you home and take a proper care of my girl." Jack helps you stand up from the bed even if it isn't necessary.
"I'd like that." You whisper sweetly, wrinkles appearing around your eyes as you smile.
"Of course you would." He teases you as he guides you out of the ER and towards his truck with his hand tightly clutching your un-hurt one.
"As much as I love taking care of you, angel. No more physical altercations please. God, you got me so worried." Jack says as he opens the door for you and helps you inside.
"I'm sorry. No more punching, I promise." You say sheepishly, you know he's just trying to protect you.
"Thank you." Jack says and then he gives you a peck on your mouth, and rounds the car. Both of you ready to go home and just cuddle in bed the whole day.
dr. dennis whitaker x bombshell!nurse!reader who gets a hickey at work âż 1.3k words
summary: dennis accidentally gives you a hickey at work, leading to lots of speculation, a bet, and a confession
cw: fem!nurse!reader, dennis is v insecure, reader is not really in this part it just revolves around her
AN: literally went to post this earlier this afternoon and i got broken up with lmao so hope y'all enjoy this, i'm going to go cry :(
the pitt masterlist
°Ëâ§âżâ§Ë°
Dennis doesnât mean to give you the hickey. Really, itâs entirely your fault.Â
If you didnât melt in his arms every time he latched himself to your neck, if you didnât encourage him by trailing your nails over his scalp and whispering pretty words in his ear, he wouldnât have done it. But, you do, and you make the sweetest sounds Dennis has ever heard, so can anyone blame him when heâs unable to detach himself from you?
Itâs not horrible, but it is⊠noticeable. And oh, do people notice.Â
The gossip spreads quickly, especially given the fact that the small, purplish mark just below your jaw was certainly not there when you arrived for your shift at 7 am. Now, it acts as a beacon to your whispering coworkers.
Dennis thinks you must not realize itâs there, given the way you donât try anything at all to cover it up.Â
âIt has to be one of the doctors, right?â Perlahâs voice reaches Dennisâ ears from across the nurseâs station, and he wouldnât doubt if they perk up like a dogâs, trying to listen closer. âSomeone she could sneak away into a supply room with.âÂ
âMy betâs on Dr. Park.â Princess speaks up, the corner of her mouth lifted and eyes alight with mischief.Â
âPark the Shark?â Perlah leans in, and Dennis does too, despite knowing exactly who placed that hickey on your neck and the gross, dark feeling that grows in his stomach at the idea of it being anyone else. It backfires though, when the two women seem to notice his eavesdropping.
âWhat do you think, Dr. Whitaker?â Princess leans her elbow on the counter, voice low and conspiratorial.Â
Dennis jumps at the mention of his name, eyes wide like a deer in headlights when he looks up to meet the gaze of the two nurses. He tries not to look guilty and stutters out a, âWhat- uh, what do I think about what?â
âAbout our bombshell!â Princessâ gaze is as bright as her smile. âWho do you think managed to get her alone and mark their territory?âÂ
Oh. Oh no. Dennis hates the way his scrub pants seem to tighten at the idea of him âmarking his territory.â That wasnât was he intended at all, but now that heâs thought about itâŠ
He lets out a rough cough, shaking his head and hoping the two of them think heâs just blushing at the idea of you having a hickey, and not because heâs the one that put it there. The words feel like sandpaper in his throat. âI uh- I havenât thought about it at all, actually.âÂ
âHmm.â Princess turns back to Perlah, whispering something in Tagalog that Dennis doesnât understand, and they go back to giggling. Heâs pretty sure he hears Princess whisper something about Robby, but heâs darting away toward the bathroom before the two of them can question him again.Â
A bet is started not long after that. Dennis hears about it a few hours later, when he finally has a moment to sit down and chart, and heâs interrupted by Trinity.Â
âHey, Huckleberry, you getting in on the bet?â
His heart stops, but he tries his best to look uninterested as he lifts his gaze. âWhat bet?â
Trinityâs eyes roll so hard Dennis is worried she might hurt herself. âThe bet about a certain nurse you always seem to have your eye on. Although it seems like someone else mightâve gotten to her first.âÂ
Dennis hates the way his stomach flips. No one even considers for a second that it might be him. Not even Trinity. She stands there, smug with maybe the smallest amount of pity for him, twirling her pen between her fingers.Â
Maybe itâs the look on her face, maybe itâs his frustration that no one would ever consider him good enough for you. But something forces the words from him, even if theyâre murmured and unconfident.Â
âIt was me.â
Trinityâs brows furrow, and she looks at him like he spoke in Latin instead of English. When she questions him, it comes with a confused chuckle. âWhat?â
âIt was me.â Itâs steadier this time, though not much louder. Trinityâs response is immediate.Â
âWhat do you mean it was you?â Her voice echoes more than it should, and Dennis feels like suddenly everyone in the ER has their eyes on the two of them. Before he can think of what heâs doing, heâs grabbing Trinity by the wrist and pulling her into the stairwell.
Her arms are crossed the second the doors close behind them, ripping her wrist from his grasp and eyebrows raised like sheâs giving him a silent command to explain himself.Â
âIâm the one that⊠it was me. The⊠the hickey.â He can barely even say the word, face cringing when it manages to escape his lips. No wonder no one even looked his way.Â
Trinityâs first instinct is to laugh, a giggle far higher than anything heâs ever heard from her before, that turns into a cackling that makes his insides burn almost as much as his face.Â
âYou-â She can barely speak, words muffled by laughter, âYouâre saying it was you?âÂ
âYes.â Itâs Dennis who crosses his arms this time, wanting to curl in on himself. âWhy is that funny?âÂ
Trinity wipes at her eye, waving the other hand in his direction flippantly. She tries âNo, youâre right. Itâs- Itâs not funny.âÂ
Dennisâ stare is blank and unamused. His self worth is plummeting by the second. âYouâre laughing.âÂ
This only causes a new outburst of giggles. âIâm sorry!â Her voice gives away that she is absolutely not sorry. âIâm sorry, itâs just⊠you? It was really you?âÂ
Dennis purses his lips. âYes.âÂ
Trinityâs face shifts. Away from amused and more to⊠confused.
âYou?â
âYes!âÂ
âAnd youâre sure?â
Dennis feels like he must explode. âI think I would know if I gave someone a hickey!âÂ
Trinity raises her hands in innocence, though the corner of her mouth twitches with the effort of holding in another chuckle. âSorry! Sorry, I just⊠itâs a littleâŠâ
Dennisâ brows pull together, his eyes narrowing at her. âA little what?âÂ
âJust⊠surprising.âÂ
Dennis scoffs. âWhatâs so surprising about it? Why does no one think it couldâve been me?âÂ
âWellâŠâ Trinity looks like sheâs choosing her words carefully. âYouâre⊠you. And sheâsâŠâ Her voice trails off and Dennis raises his brows as he waits for her to finish her sentence. She does, shrugging and playing with the ends of her stethoscope. âYou know⊠super hot?â
Dennis canât deny that. He himself never thought in a million years that you would give him a chance, and maybe thatâs why this whole thing is hitting him so hard. No one would believe him, everyone would assume you would go for someone like Dr. Abbot or Dr. Robby. Someone bold, loud, and in charge. Not⊠little Dennis Whitaker.Â
âWell, it was.â He shrugs, and thatâs it.Â
Trinity stands there for a moment, eyes tracing over his face like sheâs searching for something and sheâs unsure of where it is. She seems to find it though, if the sparkle that appears in her eye and her slowly widening grin is anything to go by.Â
âWhat?â Dennis is uneasy now. Trinity turns on her heels to head back into the ED, and Dennis asks again. âWhat?âÂ
She turns, walking backward through the door as she shoots him a wink. âI am so winning the bet.âÂ
the morning after you and clarkâs first time is peaceful.
you wake up to warm light filtering through the window and a heavy arm around your waist. a face pressed to the back of your neck and a big body pressed against your back.
youâre deliciously sore and the memories from the night before come flooding back all at once when you open your eyes.
the way clark took care of you.
the way he was so gentle and kept checking in with you at every intense moment. the way his warm skin felt against yours.
it was perfect. he made sure of it.
you felt him stir once your eyes had fully opened and you craned your neck to peak at his face.
once your eyes a met, a dopey smile spread across his face.
âhi,â he says, pulling you closer and pressing a kiss to your shoulder. âhow are you feeling?â
you turn in his arms and wrap yourself around his body, needing to be close to him.
âgood,â you whisper. âgreat, actually.â
he pushes the hair out of your eyes and presses a kiss to your forehead.
âdid i do alright?â he asks quietly, almost sounding shy and unsure of your answer.
âclark,â you say seriously siting up, âyou were perfect.â
âyeah?â
âyes,â you say and kiss his cheek. âwe should do it again.â
a blush start to spread across his cheeks and thatâs when you know you guys wonât be getting out of bed anytime soon.
ââ â . đ Ì . jack abbot x morgue tech!reader ; after your shift, you go upstairs to the er looking for jack and you run into a few of your boyfriend's coworkers, they bring to your attention just how large jack abbot really is â 4.2k
field trip â . đ Ì . to THE MORGUE
By the time you finished shift change down downstairs, the hospital had already begun its slow transition from night to morning. The morgue never changed much regardless of the hour.Â
The fluorescent lights still hummed overhead with the same dull persistence they had at midnight. The air stilled smelled faintly of antiseptic and cold metal and the industrial cleaner the day shift janitors liked to use too heavily.Â
The prep tables remained clean and pristine despite the three autopsies that you had preformed. It was peaceful for lack of a better word. But upstairs, however, the hospital would be just beginning to wake up.Â
The emergency department at six in the morning was an entirely different beast than the morgue tucked neatly beneath it. This place moved fast even when exhausted.Â
The whole floor pulsed with motion and noise and overstimulation.Â
You hated it.Â
Don't mistake your dislike for the environment for the dislike of the people inhabiting it. You wouldn't say you were friends with the ER staff, but you were on chit chatting terms with a lot of them since beginning dating Jack. But the sheer amount of everything put you especially at unease.Â
Too many voices, too many bodies darting from one side of the ER to the other, and that meant too many opportunities for someone to accidentally touch you in passing.Â
Which is why you usually stayed downstairs until Jack came to get you. That had become your routine somewhere along the line. Most mornings, by the time you clocked out and gathered your things, Jack was already leaning against your desk in the morgue office with that perpetually exhausted look on his face and a coffee in his hand.Â
Then the two of you would leave together before either of your brains fully registered another twelve hour shift had passed.Â
This morning, however, he hadn't shown. You were a little disappointed but you weren't outrageously upset about it. You knew that Jack got held up all the time and while this meant you would have to brave the ER again, it wasn't his fault.Â
Trauma cases sometimes came in unexpectedly, shift hand off lasted longer when it was busier than usual, and you knew that Robby had a tendency to trap Jack into talking about things that didn't have anything to do with the hospital. Like his new on again, off again situationship with Noelle Hastings from social work.Â
So after a few minutes, you simply slung your bag over your shoulder, grabbed your water bottle, and made your way upstairs. The elevator ride alone nearly convinced you to turn around.Â
By the time the doors opened onto the ER floor, the department was already in full swing. Phones rang somewhere in the distance. Someone laughed too loudly near the nursesâ station. A monitor beeped insistently from one of the trauma bays, while an exhausted nurse muttered something under her breath about needing a Red Bull.
You immediately regretted coming up here.Â
Keeping your head down, you slipped towards the break room near the back hallway, careful not to drift into anybody's path. The last thing you wanted after twelve hours underground was to become collateral damage in the organized chaos of emergency medicine.Â
You set your things down carefully on the small table inside the break room before leaning your head just barely out the doorway. To the left sat the employee lockers and a supply alcove. To the right was the command desk, where everyone eventually flocked and housed the patient boards.
Jack stood there with Robby and Dana, one hand braced against the edge of the counter while the other rested loosely on his hip.Â
Even from across the department, you could easily see the exhaustion that sat heavily across his shoulders.Â
The dark scrub top stretched across his back whenever he shifted slightly, and the dark wash cargo pants he wore instead of scrub bottoms sat low on his hips beneath the hem of his shirt.
You couldn't hear from where you were, but you could see Robby's mouth moving and Dana's wholly unimpressed look. You can only imagine what they were talking about. Jack, meanwhile, looked like a man mentally calculating how quickly he could escape the conversation.Â
Whether he saw you immediately when you entered the ER or simply felts your stare, you didn't know, but his head turned after a moment.Â
His eyes landed on you instantly and his whole expression changed, annoyance discarded and replaced with pure unadulterated affection. The change was small enough that most people wouldn't have noticed it. But you spent more time staring at Jack Abbot's face than most, so it was easy for you to spot.Â
Jack's brows lifted slightly before he brought his hands together in a quick apologetic and his mouth formed the word sorry from across the room. You smiled at him despite yourself. He glanced down at his watch before holding up five fingers.Â
You nodded once. His mouth curved with something guilty and fond all at once before his expression returned to what it was before he saw you and he turned back towards Robby. It was almost comical how fast the stoicism settled over his face again like armor sliding back into place.Â
You watched him for another moment longer than you probably should've. Long enough to notice the slight tension around his jaw. Long enough that you begun to wonder if his prosthetic was bothering him after being on it all night and then forced to stand there while Robby prodded him for dating advice.Â
Long enough that the clap against your back caught you completely off guard and nearly sent your soul directly out of your body. You startled violently. "Oh my godâ"
"Morning, Morgie."Â
You turned to find Trinity grinning at you like she'd just caught you with your pants down and your hand in the cookie jar. Dennis lingered behind her with the distinct energy of a man who already regretted participating in whatever conversation was about to occur.Â
You exhaled slowly, trying to calm your pulse. "Hi, Dr. Santos."
"You headed out?" she asked, a mischievous look in her eye.Â
"Trying to," you answered honestly.Â
Trinity barely acknowledged the response. She leaned casually against the doorway beside you like the two of you were old friends instead of occasional workplace acquaintances who primarily exchanged polite nods in passing.Â
You had known people like Trinity your entire life. Loud people, you mean. People who filled silence immediately and naturally. People endlessly willing to push boundaries just to see what would happen. That wasn't to say you didn't like her.Â
If anything, you suspected under different circumstances you could probably even be friends. Unfortunately, friendship required social energy you often did not possess after working nights in basement with dead people.Â
Still, you tried. If not for your sake, then for Jack's. These were his coworkers and you were his girlfriend, you were bound to run into them more often than not, so a good relationship was paramount in your opinion.Â
"How are you doing?" you asked politely. She had ignored the question entirely, opting for her own line of questioning. "So," she started, eye bright with mischief already, "you and Abbot are like a thing, right?"Â
You stomach dropped. "What?" Never in a million years did you think that was going to be her question.Â
Dennis looked like he wanted the floor to open and consume him whole. Trinity, meanwhile, looked absolutely delighted with herself. "Oh, come one," she said. "You guys are not subtle."
You blinked at her.Â
You genuinely had not realized that people knew. You and Jack were not actively hiding your relationship persay. The two of you just simply hadn't announced it. You didn't exactly have a social circle to update, and Jack was not the type to stand in the middle of the ER making declarations about his personal life.Â
But apparently none of that really mattered.Â
Apparently the entire hospital had functioning eyeballs. Before you could figure out how to respond to that, Trinity continued. "But I gotta ask," she said lowering her voice slightly despite the wicked grin still pulling at her mouth, "is he packing? Because that man walks like it's heavy."
Your brain stalled completely.Â
Packing? Walks like it, what? Those were only some of the thoughts running through your head. You frowned in confusion. "What?"
Trinity stared at you, disbelieving. "You know," she waved her hands slightly as if that would suddenly make you understand what she was referring to.Â
"No," you admitted slowly, "I actually don't."
For one horrifying second, you genuinely thought she was talkng about his prosthetic. You eyes flicked instinctively toward Jack again. He shifted slightly near the desk, probably trying to relieve pressure from standing too long.Â
Concern immediately sparked in your chest. Was his leg hurting him?
"Santos," Dennis whisper hissed, scandalized, "you cannot ask people stuff like that."
"What?" she asked. "I've been catching print for the last hour. I'm curious!"
Now you were even more confused. What did that even mean, catching print? Surely she wasn't referring to his prosthetic. You didn't have the greatest view of his leg as it was obscured by the other, but even so it was very difficult to notice it under his cargo pants even under the right circumstances.Â
"Catching what?" you asked.
She blinked at you incredulously. Dennis covered his face with one hand. "You don't know what that means?" she asked.Â
"Should I?"
In hindsight, the grin that spread across Trinity's face then should have terrified you, but all you felt was embarrassment beginning to creep up your neck. "Oh my god," she breathed. "Okay. Wait."
Before you could react, she stepped closer beside you and pointed subtly towards the command desk. You followed her gaze automatically. Jack still stood talking with Robby and Dana, completely unaware he was currently the subject of discussion.Â
"I'm confusâ"
"Wait for it," Trinity interrupted.Â
Jack shifted his weight to his good leg, trying to relieve some of the pressure. You noticed immediately because you always noticed when he was compensating with his good leg after a long shift. You eyes dropped instinctively toward the prosthetic, mentally cataloguing the stiffness in his posture and the slight adjustment of his hips.Â
Beside you, she groaned dramatically. "Higher," she muttered.Â
Your brows furrowed but you did as you were told and slowly your gaze dragged upward. Past the heavy line of his thigh. Past the dark wash cargo pants that stretched tighter from the weight shift. You finally understood as your gaze landed on his crotch.Â
Oh.
Oh.Â
Your entire body stilled because now that you saw, there was no way for you to unsee it. The fabric across the front of his pants had pulled taut enough to reveal the unmistakable outline of him beneath.Â
It wasn't obscene or at all intentional. But it was incredibly, horribly noticeable once pointed out. Your stomach dropped directly into hell. Which is exactly where you felt you were. Was it getting hot in here?
It wasn't like this was new information to you. It wasn't like you hadn't seen him naked plenty of times before. It was quite the contrary. You knew exact what Jack looked like beneath his clothes.Â
You knew the weight of him in your palm, the way his hands gripped your hips when he lost control, you knew the vulgar things that came out of his mouth when he got worked up enough.Â
This was different. This was public.Â
This was your boyfriend standing in the middle of the emergency department discussing hospital operations while his coworkers apparently conducted active investigations into the outline of his dick.Â
Another reason you hated the ER, pointless conversation about topics that were better left unspoken.
And to make matters worse, Jack clearly had no idea. Because you knew that had Jack been turned on right now, his neck would be flushed under his stubble, his fists would flex unconsciously, his shoulders would tense.Â
Instead he remained entirely relaxed, still focused on whatever Robby was saying. Meaning that it was simply him. Your face went hot enough to physically hurt. Beside you, Trinity looked seconds away from tears from how hard she was trying not to laugh.Â
You couldn't speak.Â
You couldn't breath.Â
Trinity watched your expression transform in real time and absolutely lit up with satisfaction. Because not only had she succeeded in getting her answer, she had effectively embarrassed the life out of you.Â
"There it is."Â
Your eyes remained locked on Jack against your will. Because now that you noticed, your brain seemed insistent on replaying memory after memory. Dear God.Â
Had it always been that noticeable?
You felt mildly sick and somehow even sicker knowing Trinity was watching you realize it. "I, um, have nothing to say on the matter." She finally broke and a loud laugh burst out of her before she slapped Dennis on the shoulder.Â
"Come on, Huckleberry," she cackled, still grinning wildly. "We've ruined Morgie's morning enough." Then she simply walked away. Leaving you standing there in the break room doorway, staring at your boyfriend across the ER.Â
You almost didn't answer the door.Â
The thought had crossed your mind somewhere between your bed and the kitchen island, sometime after you'd buried yourself beneath your comforter and convinced yourself that if you ignored the problem it would eventually disappear.Â
Unfortunately, simply not answering the door wouldn't make everything alright again, because Jack wasn't actually the problem.Â
The problem was you.Â
It was how Jack made you feel.Â
Jack was thoughtful and kind.Â
The sort of man who noticed when you skipped meals, remembered your favorite takeout order and worried when you took the bus home when he was supposed to drive you.Â
The sort of man currently standing in your apartment hallway balancing enough food to feed a small family. You chewed nervously on your lip for a moment as you stared through the peephole.Â
You hesitated opening the door but ultimately unlocked the dead bolt and pulled open the heavy door. "Jack?" you questioned.Â
The second the door opened, his attention settled on you. "Hey, pretty girl."
The greeting came naturally as if it had been your name forever rather than just for the last few months. His gaze moved over you quickly but it didn't feel invasive or scrutinizing. You could tell he was looking for signs of the sickness you had told him you'd suddenly come down with.Â
"Can I come in?"
You didn't really understand why but with those four words, your guilt doubled. Your stomach lurched as you stepped aside without argument. "You didn't have to do all this."
"Yeah, I did," he muttered.Â
He leaned his crutches against the kitchen island as he began to pull out the various food items.Â
The apartment suddenly felt smaller with him inside it, and it wasn't because his large frame took up most of your kitchen. His broad shoulders seemed to take up more space than physically possible. But more importantly, when he was here, it felt warmer and homey. Jack made your tiny studio feel different simply by existing in it.Â
"You look better than I expected."
You could tell the statement was carefully curated. Meant to reassure himself of your state but not as to blatantly say I knew you were lying when you said you were sick.Â
So you did what you do best in these situations. You doubled down. "I told you it wasn't serious," you explained.Â
"Mhm." The hum could have meant absolutely anything and the different possibilities were making your head spin.Â
You watched him continue unpacking the food. Container after container appeared. Then you also noticed the drink carrier and the large water bottle he pulled out from under his arm.Â
"I didn't know what sounded good," he explained. "So I got options."
You stared. "Jack . . ," you trailed.Â
"Breakfast sandwich. Turkey club, incase you were thinking lunch and chicken noodle, if you're feeling nauseous." Another container joined the lineup. "Hash browns, too."
"Jack, thats too much."
"I know you forget to eat sometimes and I am almost ninety nine percent sure that's what's making you feel sick." He finally glances over at you. "So please. Eat."
Your chest tightened because there it was again. That awful problem. The caring and the concern. The complete inability to stop looking after people.Â
You had spent the entire bus ride home feeling ridiculous. Now you felt ridiculous and guilty. A terrible combination, especially when it came to you.Â
"You sure your head's the only thing bothering you?" Your eyes snapped upward.Â
Jack had settled on to the couch now, crutches leaned against the coffee table as he pulled off his prosthetic. Then leaned back against the cushions with the exhausted posture of a man who had spent twelve hours standing.Â
He tilted his head back and rolled his neck. His legs spread as he shifted further into the couch. Your eyes gravitated towards his thighs and for the first time, you noticed he was wearing gray sweatpants. You immediately looked elsewhere.Â
"I'm just tired," you said quickly, averting your eyes by any means necessary.Â
"Baby, you've been tired before." His voice remained calm, very matter-of-fact. "This is different," he continued.Â
You cursed yourself for letting this silly situation spiral like this. You cursed yourself for letting him in the door and most of all, you cursed yourself for being so damn readable.Â
He had been in your apartment for all of ten minutes and he had already noticed the change in your behavior. Very Jack Abbot of him and very much the bane of your existence.Â
You groaned loudly, "Oh my god, I'm acting weird."
"A little." You hadn't expected him to agree with you so outright, so your face fell a little when you heard his words. Jack immediately softened. "Not bad weird. Just a little off."
The apartment fell quiet. You looked away. Suddenly finding everything else more interesting. The outside city noises. A dog barking somewhere down the street. The soft hum of your ancient refrigerator.Â
"Honey?"
"Hm?" You respond but you definitely don't look towards him.
"Tell me what's going on."
You continued to stare stubbornly at the floor. If you didn't answer maybe he'd forget. At least that's what your were foolish enough to think. Unfortunately for you, Jack Abbot possessed the patience of a man who spent his life talking terrified patients through terrible situations.Â
Silence didn't scare him. It merely encouraged him to wait longer. When you sill didn't answer, he sighed. A change in tactics was in store for you. "C'mere."Â
You blinked, confused, "What?"
"Your shoulders are practically touching your ears." He tipped his chin towards the couch. "Sit down," he ordered.Â
"I don't thinkâ"
"Sit."
His command wasn't malicious or harsh. It wasn't even particularly forceful. Yet somehow you found yourself crossing the room anyway. He shifted immediately to make space for you. The moment you sat down, he maneuvered you until your back was facing him and his hands settled on your shoulders. You nearly folded in half at the feeling.Â
"Oh my god."
"I told you." His thumbs worked slowly through the knots gathered at the base of your neck. You hadn't noticed how tense you'd gotten until this moment. How every muscle in your body had tightened up in your fucked up sense of self preservation.Â
But as his hands continued to work over the area, the more you relaxed and in more ways than one. The problem was that Jack's hands felt entirely too good. The problem was also that Jack himself felt entirely too good. The problem was definitely not helped by the gray sweatpants and the fact that you were still very much in the proverbial doghouse you had put yourself in.Â
"You're tight as hell," he mumbled and a strangled sound escaped before you could stop it. Jack froze, one eyebrow raised. "Okay, seriously. What is going on?"
You immediately covered your face as heat flooded your cheeks. "Hey." A hand squeezed your shoulder. "Come on, baby. We talked about communicating, it's important to me."
You groaned into your hands. "Ugh, it's so embarrassing. I don't wanna tell you."
"Well, now you have to," he teased. "It's just me."
"Exactly my point. It's you." You swear if he lifted his eyebrows any further they'd brush his hairline. "Alright, now I'm definitely confused."
You debated lying again. Considered a different excuse, something wholly more believable. But again, Jack had that way about him, which somehow made honesty inevitable.Â
"While I was waiting for you," you finally muttered, "Santos came up to me and she saidâ"
Jack straightened immediately. "What? If she crossed a line, I'll have a talk with her."
"No." You sat upright and turned to him so fast his hands slipped from your shoulders. "No. That would definitely not help."
"Okay," he conceded, though suspicion still laced his voice. "Can you tell me what she said?"
You sighed. "She was just being . . ." You searched for the appropriate description. "Being Santos."
"That doesn't answer my question."
"No, I know." You looked down at your hands. "She asked if we were together."
Jack frowned. "Does that make you upset? That people know?"
"No." You almost shout, the answer coming immediately. You softened slightly. "I mean, I know we weren't necessarily hiding it. I just didn't realize how many people knew."
Understanding flickered across his face. Then disappeared almost as quick as it had appeared. "Alright," his voice gentled. "Then what's got you so twisted up?"
And there it was.
This was the moment. The point of no return.Â
You stared at the wall. Then the floor. Then your hands. Anywhere except Jack. Finally, mortified beyond belief, you mumbled, "she asked if you were 'packing.'"
The silence that followed was immediate.
"What?"
You squeezed your eyes shut, mentally preparing for your next words. "And then she saidâand I quoteâ'he walks like it's heavy.'"
For one glorious second, Jack looked too stunned to react. Then he laughed.
It wasn't a cruel laugh or mocking. Just genuinely surprised. Which somehow made it worse. "Oh my god." You buried your face in your hands. "You're laughing at me. I knew this was stupid."
"No, baby." He was still smiling but he was shaking his head and waving his hands. "I'm not laughing at you."
"You literally are," you said bluntly because he really was still laughing.Â
"It's just kinda silly," he confessed.
"Silly?" you repeated. "What about this is silly?"
Jack shook his head. "So what if people noticed?"
"You don't understand."
"No. I do."
The corners of his mouth twitched. "So what if you noticed? Ain't nothing you haven't seen before."
"Jack."
"What?"
His expression remained entirely too innocent. "It's the truth."
"Jack!" Your panicked voice earned another laugh. You groaned dramatically. "Stop laughing."
"I'm trying." He absolutely was not. The smile gave him away.Â
"C'mere." His hand found your wrist before you could retreat again. The gesture was gentle and familiar. "Baby." The amusement faded slightly and he continued, "you're acting like this is some terrible thing."
"It is terrible."
"Why?"
"You weren't there."
"No." His thumb brushed across your skin."Sounds like I missed a hell of a conversation though," he joked.Â
You glared. The effect was somewhat ruined by the fact that he looked unbearably fond. âI justâ" you exhaled. "I know what you look like, okay? Obviously. But that's private."
Your hand waved vaguely between the two of you. "That's ours."
For the first time since arriving, Jack's smile softened completely. "Then suddenly she points it out and now I'm standing there staring at your pants in the middle of the ER like some kind of pervert."
"Oh."
You narrowed your eyes. âWhat do you mean oh?â
The grin returned instantly. "Are you jealous other people noticed?"
"No!"
You stood without really thinking it through. This was how it was with you. Your instinct was always flight over fight. Unfortunately, Jack caught your wrist. "Nope." The grin widened. "You started this conversation. You're finishing it."
"I hate you."
"No, you don't."
His eyes lingered on your face. "You're embarrassed because Dr. Santos pointed out something you already spend a lotta time thinkin' about."
Your mouth dropped open.
"IÂ do not."
One eyebrow lifted. You immediately looked away. Which told him everything he needed to know.
His laugh returned. "Hey." Your eyes remained firmly fixed on the opposite wall. "Pretty girl."
"Jack, that's not helping."
"You know I like knowing you think about me like that, right?"
Your face somehow became hotter. "Stop."
"What?" His expression remained shameless. "Sweetheart, we've slept together. More than once."
"Please stop talking."
"There is nothin' embarrassing about bein' attracted to me." You stared. Jack shrugged. "Frankly, I'd be a little concerned if you weren't."
Despite everything. Despite the embarrassment. Despite Trinity Santos. Despite spending over two hours making yourself miserable, a laugh escaped.
The moment it did, Jack's expression softened.
"There she is."
You rolled your eyes. The words settled somewhere warm despite your best efforts to resist them.
And the knot that had been sitting in your chest since sunrise finally began to loosen.
Clark idea: first time spending the night at his house but itâs completely accidental because she falls asleep on the couch and heâs unsure of what to do, and reader is super clingy and wakes up when he moves her
Last week, Clark stopped a skyscraper from falling onto a hundred helpless civilians using one arm. Tonight, he struggles to move from under your weight.
He is excited to have you asleep on him. This is a boyfriendâs job, to be your pillow, to have you take comfort in his presence so much so that you fall asleep in the middle of a movie youâd been excited to watch. You werenât particularly tired, as far as he knew, which makes your little snores sweeter to have warming his arm. He feels similarly relaxed when youâre around.
For a while, he has the movie on pause and waits for you to wake up. Then, when itâs clear youâre not dozing but truly sleeping, he changes the channel to watch a different movie and puts the other on record so you can watch it when you wake. He waits, and waits, but seven turns to nine turns to quarter to ten, and he realises he shouldâve woken you up. Because now itâs rather late to be taking you home on a work night.
Well, darn, he thinks.
Itâll be alright, he decides eventually. You havenât stayed the night before, but Clark knows you trust him, and he knows you wonât mind if he indulges himself and lets you sleep. Heâll wake you early in the morning to give you time to get home (hopefully accompanied by him, or one of his heavy coats) and it wonât matter that you stayed.
This, however, introduces a debate. Should he leave you here on the couch with a blanket, or should he carry you to bed? He decides pretty quickly you canât stay on the couch, itâs just never a comfortable way to sleep. Heâll lay you out in the double bed in his room.
Clark canât see you minding the cuddling that might happen in sleep, youâd been cuddling when you fell asleep.
How to move you, though. He sucks on his bottom lip while thereâs no one to see him, brows pinched together. Slow and steady, an arm under your knees? The princess carry is his only gentle option, really. He canât get you over his shoulder.
You sniff in your sleep, then comes a long, breathy snore. You make some really funny sounds. Clarkâs smiling about them as he gets his hand under your knee and lifts, no effort required to have you against his chest. Your little hiccup sound when youâd first started dozing had been the cutest, but this mumbly whine now at being moved is a close second.
âNooooâŠâ Your hand screws up in his shirt.
âLetâs go to bed, honey,â he whispers.
You wrap your arm behind his neck, your face smushed awkwardly to his chest. Cords in your back go rigid as he stands up, but a few kind shushes have you relaxing and sniffling again, like you might fall back asleep in his arms.
The bedroom door creaks when he opens it, prompting another disgruntled mumble. âClark,â you say, sounding annoyed now.
âI know, baby. Just taking you to bed, thatâs all. You go on back to sleep.â
âDonât wanna go home.â
Youâre barely audible in his chest. Clark gathers you close in one arm, pinning you close so he can pull back his sheets and comforter. âYouâre not going home, you think I could part with you now?â He lays you down in the bed. Your arm is steadfast behind his neck. âNot going anywhere,â he murmurs, kissing your forehead very, very gently, âIâll get you some water.â
âBed,â you murmur back. âClark.â
He likes this side of you. Heâs not sure heâs ever heard you whine before, and itâs pathetically soft while youâre too tired to act as you normally would. âFine,â he says, chuckling, âmove over then, my girl. Gosh.â
You actually smile at his teasing, wriggling backwards in the bed to make space. When Clark climbs in, you wrap your arm around him without hesitation, your cold nose pressing into his arm.
âGoodnight, bubby,â you mumble.
Clark giggles like a kid. âOh, goodnight,â he says, reaching for the switch just to the side of the bed thatâll turn out the lights. Clark doesnât need the overhead to stare at you. Heâs got supervision. âBeautiful. Wake me up if you need anything.â
This one word is what youâve been chasing your entire life and this might truly be it.
Upon awakening, it seemed a window mustâve been left open as the entire bedroom had a lingering scent of petrichor from the late night rain. A soft groan would draw you farther out of your sleepy haze but not enough to clearly open your eyes. Your brain finally took note of the warmth beside you which soon enveloped your form.
âHave you seen my glasses?â Clark would mutter into your skin as his lips trailed along your collarbone, putting precise pressure into any beauty marks heâd note in his mindâan absentminded habit of his youâve always loved.
He didnât even need his glasses, it just had become such a habit for him to wear them when he wasnât Superman. It was cute thoughâ watching them slip down his nose bridge when he tilts down his head, as they fog whenever you both would heat coffee on the kitchen stove, or when they go all crooked when he falls asleep on the couch.
You finally opened your eyes, now lying on your back as Clark had his arms wrapped around your waist. It was a sight for sore eyes, or⊠tired eyes. It warmed your expression, and it nearly made you forget the task at hand. Frizzy curls, baby blues, freckled skin, the wide expanse of his back which dipped and curved with contoured muscles, and those huge armsâŠ
Glasses.
You looked around, your mind still a little hazy and your eyes still low.
They sat amongst the night stand which was beside your spot in bed, howâd they end up there? Nobody knew.
A quiet grunt would accompany your actions as you stretched to pick up the frames, it was a lazy act and your thumb smeared across the lens without you even noticing before you held the glasses from each leg pinched between your fingers.
âTilt up your head, baby,â youâd hum lazily, which Clark would oblige with a small grumble.
His eyes would flutter completely open now, watching you with quiet admiration as youâd slip the glasses onto his faceâtucking each leg behind his ear and assuring the nose piece would be placed atop his nose bridge. He was smiling, a soft expression plastered all across his face with pure love, but then he snickered.
âWhat?â Youâd huff in surprise, a warm feeling maintaining your lovesick grin.
âHoney, these are completely smeared,â heâd quip, taking off the frames and bundling up your oversized shirt into his hand.
âMaybe you messed them up before you placed them down for the night,â
He clicked his tongue in response, shushing you as he cleaned the lens of his glasses with the fabric of your top. His biceps straining from the simple movement caught your eye, they always caught your eye.
âI clean them every night with soap and water,â heâd whisper, grinning up at you as teasing as ever.
You would probably huff or complainâŠif it wasnât for those muscles staring right back at you. Stretched upon your form, holding you, those biceps distracted you like no other could.
It was blatant attraction that gave warmth to your face with no exception. A dusty pink always appearing across your cheeks. Instead of responding clearly, you reached for his arms, your fingers expanding along the muscle.
âGlasses⊠rightâŠâ youâd smile to yourself, a dazed tone leading Clark to chuckle and slipping back on his glasses before he let his head fall into your stomach, pressing little kisses to your clothed belly.
Heâd pick up his body with his palms, hovering over you now before settling himself beside you. Sitting up now, heâd stretch his body, showcasing his muscular abdomen for a moment before breaking your gaze with a gesture to come closer.
With a smile, youâd lazily shuffle out of the covers to bring each leg beside each of Clarkâs thighs, accommodating to settle into his lap.
This was a common occurrence, where in the morning heâd just sit and hold you, breathe you in, caress you. In return, youâd grab at your favorite parts: his biceps and chest.
You hummed and held his arms, fingers tracing up over the muscles, grabbing and squeezing at his biceps whilst his hands crept under your shirt. He gently massaged his fingertips into your back, pressing lazy pecks which soon transitioned into more absentminded trails down your neck.
Youâd tilt back your head, sighing happily. You could feel the little nips and graze of his teeth along with the trace of his glasses frame along your skin.
Youâd then drag your hands to his chest, squeezing at his pecs with a mischievous grin appearing across your face. Heâd scoff in return as you practically fondled him, nipping a little harder which led you to giggle.
âIf you have an issue with my hands, try wearing a shirt to bed,â youâd mutter, of course just teasing.
âSo itâs my fault?â Clark would grin, tilting his head back up to meet eyes with you, flickering down for a moment to glance at your hands grasping at his pectorals.
Youâd only nod before peppering kisses to the corner of his mouth, then as he continued to smile wider youâd graze your teeth along his dimples. You loved those dimples. You loved his muscle. You loved his kind touch.