not me relapsing🤪✌🏽
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@emmylite
not me relapsing🤪✌🏽
I’m fat when I’m standing next to skinny people but on my own I don’t look as fat
the annoying thing is I’m the kind of fat that I can hide if I feed strategically but then I’m always paranoid that people will Find Out which I swear is almost worse than just being fat ll the time
2.5 years since i’ve used this account and I feel like I’m falling back into ed habits✌🏽
should Not have weighed myself while staying at my parents, this is why I don’t own a scale
a good thing about being dissociated is that i feel No connection to my body so my ed is way less of a bitch and i can see myself a bit more objectively?? still feel so disconnected and Out of it tho
so i think i might have two more mental illnesses?? but obviously i don’t wanna self diagnose so i need to get a therapist again soon but in the past every time i think i have a disorder i Did have it so???? we love being Mentally Unstable
to make food and just throw it out or to not waste food but you can’t lie to your parents that you ate so they yell at you?
that is that question
i simply didn’t make it so my mom is probably gonna yell at me tomorrow morning
its the “my parents talking about weight loss ad calories even though they Know i had/have an eating disorder” for me
to make food and just throw it out or to not waste food but you can’t lie to your parents that you ate so they yell at you?
that is that question
don’t!!! fuck!!! with!!! laxatives!!!
fun fact, i used to abuse laxatives on the daily. it was and still is an addiction ive struggled to stop. just a lil story for yall. when i was first admitted to hospital in the medical ward, i wasn’t able to pass a “bowel motion” for over two weeks. my doctors had to convince me to have enemas, which didn’t even wind up working. i would have to lay on the toilet floor while a nurse gave me the enema. it was humiliating. but despite the humiliation, the enema’s didn’t do anything. my nurses were fascinated, they’d come around just to feel my stomach “wow you’re really blocked up aren’t you” and they’d show me my xrays of the buildup. it wound up getting to the point my doctors were saying i might need surgery to remove my poop, because it was getting to the point where my life could be at risk from the toxins being flushed back into my body due to the blockage. imagine, either having to have doctors surgically remove your literal SHIT, or else having your cause of death be “constipation”. it’s not worth it. not one bit. and the thing is, laxatives don’t actually help you lose weight. all it does is push the fluid out of your body, as soon as you eat or drink something your body will return to it’s normal weight. don’t fuck around with laxatives, they will destroy your life
i do not care how bad your mental health and your own problems are.
DO NOT body shame. DO NOT fat shame.
“fatspo” is one of the most disgusting things i have had to come across here. no, this site isn’t full of sunshine and rainbows, and there’s so much toxicity within this community.
however, NOBODY gets to stoop so low to shame another person just because THEIR body is not ideal to YOU. it’s disgusting behaviour.
i had an idea for a tik tok but i realized it probably wouldn’t be the best thing to post so i will simply tell y’all what it would’ve been
basically it’s the audio from Cardi’s verse is WAP where she goes “want you touch that lil dangly thing that swing in the back of my throat” but it’s me talking to my fingers
i hate the fact that i have mental illness becuase obviously I’d love to not want to die all the time but i also hate that my mental illness isn’t That bad
like i feel like i’m not mentally ill Enough or don’t have Enough trauma to warrant me being like this
i just hate the feeling of being average and i guess that feeling also exists within my mental health which is Fucked up
I saw this and figured I would share it <3
i want to carve the fat off of my thighs
me: is actually doing wel in recovery (even without a current therapist or treatment team) and is eating meals and even bought my favorite chocolate
my dad: hides said chocolate becuase he wants me to “ration it” and when an old chair i was sitting in tears a bit he makes a joke about me needing to diet and not eating anymore chocolate
i was already feeljng Not Great today and now i honestly want to kms so much