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I'm so worried I'll never be able to function.

But at the same time, I know I can. I can keep a stable job for years. I have no trouble turning up and engaging people.

But it seems here, no one will hire me.

It seems that there is no one for me to connect with anyone, whether it be in a platonic or romantic way.

I cannot help but think it will never get better.

Even though I know it will. It must.

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My flatmate knows I cut but reblogs things with blood and cuts.

But she does tag them for blood and gore.

 I can't help wonder if she's so mad at me because I don't let her look at my own.

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I'm so tired.

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My flatmate says I am 'actively sabotaging' myself.

And here I thought I'd found someone who was actually understanding.

She hasn't seen them, but she knows.

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I had a melt down and my flatmate offered to buy me some bandages, and I accepted.

Now a day later she says I need to pay her back.

That's so fucked up, wow.

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I'm tired and I don't want to be here.

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I completely forgot the login info for this blog for ages, good job me.

Life is life, still the same. Almost went a year without cutting on my upper arms but gosh messed that all up the other day.

I hate this place.

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There's someone I see on my dash on occasion, or have my friends talk about them.

Before it's always spurred me to try and better myself, whether it be through healthy (drawing) or unhealthy (not eating) ways. But today it just made me eat seconds when I didn't want to eat to start with.

They're talented in every aspect of their life, and charismatic to the point of being publicly fawned over. (Not to mention remarkable good-looking.) I don't mind that, not if it's just the attention of other people I don't know all that well that they're gaining.

But when my closest friends talk about what an attractive, chipper, and talented person they are, that gets to me. Which isn't reasonable, I understand that. They're associated with a lot of things I am though, and where people would once say "this reminds me of you" now it's "this reminds me of them."

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I stopped for awhile. Or it felt like awhile. I relapsed tonight─ this photo was taken a few days ago─ and realized it had only been a month.

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I wish I could wear my binder without getting flack about it. Even people I thought would be understanding look at me sideways and ask why I put it on out of cosplay.

While I adore being a girl and wouldn't want to change it for the world, sometimes I just don't feel like having boobs.

There are so many tops I have that simply look better without a bigger chest.

I don't see how wearing a binder casually is any different than someone who wants to wear a push up bra. One enhances while the other tones it down. It doesn't have to be related to gender or cosplay. It's just what I want to do.

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People who complain about things that are very clearly tagged

I understand you may not like certain kinks or portrayals

But if you would bother to look at the all caps message before the read more, you will see the one thing that bothered you is clearly stated.

Also way to post your complain about that in a tag where the author can see it.

Although I should clarify I wasn't the author, but I track the tag that had both of these posts pop up.

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zombiezeromotion said: Oh, I thought you don’t like me anymore lolsob

Golly, no! I still have your main followed, I just unfollowed all the art and inspiration blogs I was following so I could better keep up with my dash.

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I hate my dashboard on my main blog. I follow 150 people and it moves so fast I always feel lost. I cut back on all the art blogs I was following and bookmarked them instead, and did the same for some ask blogs.

I really wish I knew how to use Tumblr Savior for Firefox, but when I tried before it would block posts that didn't even have my savior'd things anywhere in them.

It's not even that I mind that people post things I'm not interested in, it's just that I want to be able to find the personal posts of my friends before all of that. I don't want to miss out on their lives because of some gif set with seven thousand notes.

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The only time I feel affectionate, or really, comfortable with being affectionate, is after several shots.

I hardly find anyone attractive, or those I do already have their eye on someone else.

The only people that like me right now are 15. Or very crazy from the get go. Neither of which I would ever consider being with.

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Come back we love you

Whoops, sorry. I only use this blog on occasion, so I'm not around too much. But I love you right back!

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