i&#x27;m only here because mr. hale made me

how well can you swim gayboy

I can't swim actually its really sad. Please pray for me

Skill issie

One day you will have to answer for yourself and God will not be as merciful as me

What is god to a non-believer?

What's a non-believer to a little guy...?

Awh

Kay how about I take you swimming and I'll bring a buncha cool floaties. Dibs on the purple donut

Can I have the pool noodle? Please?

Yeah I have like five!! What color?

Also you're getting the arm floaties cause iunno if you're hooded up to respawn

I'm not no. Blue pleaase

Okay two pairs of arm floaties and the blue pool noodle

emotionally-annoying-scout

YIPPEEE

DEXX HE CANT GO IN WATER. DEXX DONT DO THAT

?????? WHAT HAPPENS IF HE GOES IN THE WATER???? DOES HE DISINTEGRATE????

yeah

like a soggy piece of paper

emotionally-stabby-es

Paper doesn’t disintegrate

shhhhhhhh (pressing finger to your lips)

emotionally-stabby-es

*bites it*

MY FUCKING FINGER

this whole thread gave me whiplash i miss this guys

in the arms of an angel

Mrrp?

mrrrrrrp

how well can you swim gayboy

I can't swim actually its really sad. Please pray for me

Skill issie

One day you will have to answer for yourself and God will not be as merciful as me

What is god to a non-believer?

What's a non-believer to a little guy...?

Awh

Kay how about I take you swimming and I'll bring a buncha cool floaties. Dibs on the purple donut

Can I have the pool noodle? Please?

Yeah I have like five!! What color?

Also you're getting the arm floaties cause iunno if you're hooded up to respawn

I'm not no. Blue pleaase

Okay two pairs of arm floaties and the blue pool noodle

emotionally-annoying-scout

YIPPEEE

DEXX HE CANT GO IN WATER. DEXX DONT DO THAT

?????? WHAT HAPPENS IF HE GOES IN THE WATER???? DOES HE DISINTEGRATE????

yeah

dude where are you i've been looking for so long. i'm literally standing in your office right now.

-@emotionally-annoying-scout

Get out of my office im in my fucking apartment I QUIT 3 MONTHS AGO

Hello :]

You seem a bit stressed, so I made you something.

*slides over a plate of plastic food (you know, the kind of stuff you’d play pretend kitchen with*

I made it myself. :]

-@spiritually-fabled-heby

This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. I feel so included. I'm going to store this in my fridge for ever and ever and ever and ever and ever. Finally someone who understands that my diet requires trace elements of latex, polyester and aluminium!

"Want me to kill that guy for you?" - Valentine

Bidwell squints over the top of his laptop, shuffling some papers and clearing his throat.

"..If you can eliminate Rick from HR without incriminating me or yourself, go for it."

Valentine gave a thumbs up and left the office. They had work to do, the only work they were good at. Murder.

Mann Co is MASSIVE. Valentine has probably been let loose previously, but Mann was big in the 60s. In the 2020s..? It's insane. There are highly technical automatons and hololiths everywhere, even in areas that are technically public access. The elevators, unfortunately, are not as highly advanced. They're akin to hospital elevators more than anything.

Within the elevator is a WOMAN in a PURPLE DRESS SHIRT and PANTS. She is holding a DESIGNER CLIPBOARD. By Jove..

Valentine did their best to stand as far away from the woman as possible, eyeing her suspiciously. They were standing close to Bidwell. They had been mostly silent as they had walked through the complex with him. They didn't know how to make small talk.

"..That's Pauling. Don't worry, she's great. Anyways, you need to make sure nobody realises it was a murder."

Bidwell hands Valentine a syringe full of air.

"A shot of this between the toes will send a bubble of air directly into his heart. It'll look like a heart attack. Make sure he's alone when it hits- we all have mandatory first aid training and i'm not willing to disable the EKGs in the office."

"Toes? I uh... Okay I have an idea then" Valentine tucks the syringe into a pouch. They still didn't stop giving the woman suspicious glances, but was paying more attention to Bidwell now than her.

"Hey, suprise me. I trust you. You probably have a higher kill count than I do."

The door to the elevator opens to the most boring, mundane office corridor possible. The aura of HR corrupts anything it touches.

"Want me to kill that guy for you?" - Valentine

Bidwell squints over the top of his laptop, shuffling some papers and clearing his throat.

"..If you can eliminate Rick from HR without incriminating me or yourself, go for it."

Valentine gave a thumbs up and left the office. They had work to do, the only work they were good at. Murder.

Mann Co is MASSIVE. Valentine has probably been let loose previously, but Mann was big in the 60s. In the 2020s..? It's insane. There are highly technical automatons and hololiths everywhere, even in areas that are technically public access. The elevators, unfortunately, are not as highly advanced. They're akin to hospital elevators more than anything.

Within the elevator is a WOMAN in a PURPLE DRESS SHIRT and PANTS. She is holding a DESIGNER CLIPBOARD. By Jove..

Valentine did their best to stand as far away from the woman as possible, eyeing her suspiciously. They were standing close to Bidwell. They had been mostly silent as they had walked through the complex with him. They didn't know how to make small talk.

"..That's Pauling. Don't worry, she's great. Anyways, you need to make sure nobody realises it was a murder."

Bidwell hands Valentine a syringe full of air.

"A shot of this between the toes will send a bubble of air directly into his heart. It'll look like a heart attack. Make sure he's alone when it hits- we all have mandatory first aid training and i'm not willing to disable the EKGs in the office."

I love diving into a body of water and sinking to the bottom and staring at the surface and thinking about how you can't breathe

(BTW. send me rp starters. it will be sooo fun)

#ooc

why are you white..

Oh my God you can't just ask somebody that???

"Want me to kill that guy for you?" - Valentine

Bidwell squints over the top of his laptop, shuffling some papers and clearing his throat.

"..If you can eliminate Rick from HR without incriminating me or yourself, go for it."

Valentine gave a thumbs up and left the office. They had work to do, the only work they were good at. Murder.

#ic #looking for lost stars

Mann Co is MASSIVE. Valentine has probably been let loose previously, but Mann was big in the 60s. In the 2020s..? It's insane. There are highly technical automatons and hololiths everywhere, even in areas that are technically public access. The elevators, unfortunately, are not as highly advanced. They're akin to hospital elevators more than anything.

Within the elevator is a WOMAN in a PURPLE DRESS SHIRT and PANTS. She is holding a DESIGNER CLIPBOARD. By Jove..

Bold = always applies, Italicized = sometimes applies, Strike Through = never applies.

For Ash:

DEFENSIVENESS: arms crossed / crossing legs / clenched fists / pointing index finger / stiff shoulders / tense posture / curling of lip / baring of teeth / tail lashing / pinned ears.

REFLECTIVE: hand to face gestures / head tilted / stroking chin / peering over glasses / taking glasses off — cleaning / putting earpiece of glasses in mouth / pipe smoker gestures / putting hand to the bridge of nose / pursed lips / knitted brows.

SUSPICION: arms crossed / sideways glance / touching or rubbing nose / rubbing eyes / hands resting on weapon / brows rising or knitting together / lips pressing into a thin line / strict unwavering eye contact / wrinkling of nose / eyes narrowing.

OPENNESS & COOPERATION: open hands / upper body in sprinters position / sitting on the edge of a chair / hand-to-face gestures / unbuttoned coat / tilted head / slacked shoulders / relaxed posture / feet pointed outward / palms flat and facing outward.

CONFIDENCE: hands behind back / hands on lapels of coat / steeped hands / smirking / baring teeth in a grin / rolling shoulders / tipping head back but maintaining eye contact / chest puffed up / shoulders back / arms folded just above navel.

INSECURITY & ANXIETY: chewing pen or pencil / rubbing thumb over opposite thumb / biting fingernails / hands in pockets / elbow bent / closed gestures / clearing throat / “ whew ” sound / picking or pinching flesh / fidgeting in chair / hand covering mouth whilst speaking / poor eye contact / tugging pants or clothes / jingling money in pockets / tugging at ear / perspiring hands / playing with hair / swaying / playing with a writing implement / smacking lips / sighing / rocking on balls of feet / flexing / tapping fingers sporadically / chewing on lip / pacing / tail twitching.

ANGER & FRUSTRATION: short breaths / “tsk” sounds / tightly-clenched hands / fist-like gestures / pointing index finger / rubbing hand through hair / rubbing back of neck / snarling / revealing teeth / grimacing / sharp-eyed glowers / notable tension in brow / shoulders back, head up; defensive posturing / clenching of jaw / grinding teeth / nostrils flaring / heavy exhales / swearing / tail lashing / pinned ears.

tagging: @kakophoni-tyr @in-flagrantx @emotionallyhorrifiedbidwell

Tagged by: stole it