I Contain Multitudes.

JFK Files / Listening / Reading

[empalsurecon]

[lascitasdelashoras]

David Hockney - Three trees near Thixendale (series) 2007-2008

[agnes-nielsens]

it's okay for me to throw stones my house is made of much sturdier glass

[topcat77]

David Hockney

“Seated Woman Being Served Tea by Standing Companion.” 1963.

[lamignonette]

[theegoist]

Max Ernst (German, 1891–1976) - After. Mur et soleil, Silkscreen printed in colors and lithograph, 76.00 x 57.00 cm (1970)

[knocking-on-peoples-non-doors]

august 3rd, 2024

[ducissatenebrarum]

A Memento Mori Skeleton, France, 1566

Limestone

55 ½ in. (141 cm) high

[portalibis]

Philosophia sacra et vere christiana seu meteorologia cosmica, c. 1626 by Robert Fludd

Telegram / Facebook / Sacred Ibis fb group

[meanbuddhist]

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

[empalsurecon]

Been a shut-in for so long and now I'm trying to get out and to get out of the behaviours that kept me inside for so long

my heart wants so bad to be the person I’m trying to be, my new self, my brain is just not ready for it. Yesterday i couldn’t even sit down to have lunch with my family which has always been safe for me.

I need to content myself that I’m working towards the person i want to be, social, a little bit slutty, a free spirit, functional without abandoning my anti-authoritarian spirit and without being untrue to who i am, unapologetically me, open to those on my wavelength and unafraid of disdain from those who are not.

I am starting an autism assessment on monday and i think it will do me good, i don’t believe our understanding of it is all there but i do think it will help me understand myself better and help me live the life i want to live.

I am recognising unhealthy behaviours in myself and working through them; pessimism spirals, jealousy and envy of those living the life i wish i was living, fear of talking about personal things with others, severe social anxiety, working to figure out why those behaviours are happening and working to cut them out of my life.

I know i am still going to have my moments aka crash outs and that right now those moments will be every day but not insurmountable until i make them insurmountable.

It’s a lot and rn I’m annoying about it and this blog sees the worst of it but if i am diligent and smart about it i know i can be the best most fulfilled most genuine person I’ve ever been. And thru that I’ll learn to stop worrying and love.

[empalsurecon]

My journey to becoming human

[empalsurecon]

Been a shut-in for so long and now I'm trying to get out and to get out of the behaviours that kept me inside for so long

my heart wants so bad to be the person I’m trying to be, my new self, my brain is just not ready for it. Yesterday i couldn’t even sit down to have lunch with my family which has always been safe for me.

I need to content myself that I’m working towards the person i want to be, social, a little bit slutty, a free spirit, functional without abandoning my anti-authoritarian spirit and without being untrue to who i am, unapologetically me, open to those on my wavelength and unafraid of disdain from those who are not.

I am starting an autism assessment on monday and i think it will do me good, i don’t believe our understanding of it is all there but i do think it will help me understand myself better and help me live the life i want to live.

I am recognising unhealthy behaviours in myself and working through them; pessimism spirals, jealousy and envy of those living the life i wish i was living, fear of talking about personal things with others, severe social anxiety, working to figure out why those behaviours are happening and working to cut them out of my life.

I know i am still going to have my moments aka crash outs and that right now those moments will be every day but not insurmountable until i make them insurmountable.

It’s a lot and rn I’m annoying about it and this blog sees the worst of it but if i am diligent and smart about it i know i can be the best most fulfilled most genuine person I’ve ever been. And thru that I’ll learn to stop worrying and love.

[altcomics]

[empalsurecon]

Today sat with family for lunch and felt like my skin was on fire i like to think i don’t need to be treated differently to anyone else and that i don’t need any concessions but bro im so cooked idek how im gonna get thru work this week

[empalsurecon]

You're the wave crushing the shells into sand You're the flame melting sand into glass You're the glass holding the wine You're the wine making me drunk You're the drunk telling me lies You're the lies that come to light You're the light that I turn on I see all of you You see all of me You're so sexy you're not defensive You're the turn on that I can't refuse You're the fuse that detonates my body You're the body that blows my mind You're the mind that stays open You're the opening of a shell You're the shell that has a pearl You're the pearl that's big and swollen with iridescence because you stuck around You're a priceless kind of guy You're a guy that eats pussy well You're a well of reasons to keep crashing To keep crushing on your shore But I'm still not quite sure I'm still not quite sure But I'm still crushing on your shore I'm still crushing That's for sure, that's for sure

[empalsurecon]

At work and burnt out and 2 and a half hours left i think im going to start applying elsewhere idek why i was terrified of getting fired i kinda hate this place lol

[regardintemporel]

Samuel Siméon Wachsmann 

1931