CONTINUED : with PERDITOS
There was a fleeting sensation, like a quiet, gentle breeze, where Rey felt Ben’s care, the intent to cradle her frozen, stinging hands in his, to share the warmth of his body, give it freely, if only to ease the cold in hers. It brought a flush of said warmth to her face, but as quickly as she felt the presence of such a desire, it was snuffed out, suppressed, and soon, vanished from her awareness entirely. The warmth on Rey’s cheeks remained, lingering evidence that their bond was not something they could erase by want alone. Their connection went beyond emotions, desires, conflicting goals - it was so much more than conscious will, it was everything and no matter how strong their rejection of it, they would never be able to turn it into nothing. Denying it was like denying a part of herself the right to exist. Maybe that was why the Force brought her here, to @perditos.
Rey listened, hanging onto every word like an awed child robbed of their innocence, one never given the chance to experience such wonders, to learn the ways of the old Jedi as Ben once did. “It sounds … ” she swallowed thickly, the word amazing catching in her throat, as if it was too childish to admit out loud. Instead, Rey settled on a more practical answer, afraid to open herself up to him willingly, “ ... important.” Rey walked the lake’s edge, gradually closing the distance between them. The First Order wants me dead, shouldn’t you want that too? Or do you still wish I was at your side, even now? The thoughts rose against her better judgement, whether they were loud enough for his senses was unknown to her, but she refused to meet his gaze once the physical space separating them became smaller. A nod followed Ben’s, admittedly, welcome guidance. Despite their proximity, Rey’s eyes closed, taking a moment to reach out with her feelings, just as Luke once taught her. There were whispers, too soft, too many. She pressed further, seeking clarity, searching for the one she was meant to listen for.
She could feel Ben’s energy in the Force, powerful, overwhelming, distracting. “There’s too much noise, I can’t hear it clearly,” I can just feel you, everywhere. Rey huffed out a frustrated breath. Her hands clenched and she sucked in a harsher breath when pain shot through her palms where nails dug into fresh cuts. Her eyes blinked open, settling on Ben, and once they were there it was impossible to look away. “I must look stupid to you. Struggling with something even children could do so easily,” she muttered, shame creeping into her expression, mixed with a familiar feeling of isolation. “What was it like when you found yours?” The question was whispered into the darkness of the cave, personal, in a way that was nearly as dangerous as drawing her staff. “You don’t have to talk about it,” Rey withdrew to the safety of self-made walls built around her aching heart, but she longed to know his answer regardless, and couldn’t quite manage to hide that from her eyes.
