On Millennials, Junkyards, and Designer Drugs pt.1.1
Joel was just a regular guy from California (Bel-Air). Like many people, Joel enjoyed smoking marijuana. He especially enjoyed the activity while with friends and family who also smoked. To his dismay, Joel eventually found his brothers and cousins to be in the game known as what we call - burning out. A person who is burning out has many qualities, but respect - Is not one of them. Their eyes turn shady and wide when there is no skunky buddies to be smoked. Their mouths water as they separate the fecal matter of roaches from salvageable bits of burned pot that hides for dear life in the smelly ashtray. It will be easier to just say that they were not the brightest nor best group to be around IF he’d like to be human being who uses all available potential to make dreams come true.
And so Joel began getting his shit together after years of negligence to his personal life. He left his shitty friends, and got a new job as an ice cream salesman. He spent many evenings on the beautiful pacific beachside. This was an upgrade, to my surprise! He still loved responsibly smoking marijuana, but his enjoyment factor was dwindling to loneliness. However, during his daily business, Joel met another fine, young lady who also partook in the consumption of not just marijuana, but also other various drugs. They began spending much time doing nothing but smoking tasty blunts and watching documentaries about all the crazy colours they were seeing. They stuck together for many weeks - and then many months. How long has it been now? I can’t remember.
What Joel couldn’t figure out, is that he fell in love with th s girl. “I don’t feel my heart racing, nor any desires to prove myself worthy. Still, I’ve never felt this way before. I’ve never just wished and absolutely desired for another human being to fulfill all their hopes and dreams with as little outside resistance as possible. For me, this is amazing to feel - but the feeling itself is so pure and simple that I can’t stay true.”
And so begins the path Joel took where he couldn’t accept his feelings.
The anxiety was unbearable. He turned a blind eye to a semi-healthy relationship and more importantly - to himself. His feelings were no more than signs, yet he treated them as enemies and unscalable mountains. There’s a time and place to act on your feelings, but sometimes you need do no more than acknowledge them. So Joel turned his neglect into thought, and acted on them.
He created distance between himself and her. In the middle, he strategically threw down anything that shattered. Bits and pieces of glass shards were in between two people. If they wanted to meet once again in the future, they’d have to step on that glass, and let the soles of their feet be ravaged and bloody. A part of the body that no one can immediately see, and the bearers of damage would attempt to pretend that nothing hurts and nothing feels wrong.
Joel? He didn’t have to experience stepping in glass this time. No - actually he felt one worse.
She died in a car crash while feeling like God. This is the part where Joel finally found out that he was in love. Needless to say - Joel absolutely needed some grieving time.
Is this what it took, Joel? Please take some time and walk it all off. It’s just you now, buddy. Try not to step in any of that glass you left behind.
