“is there anyway i could bribe you into being my date for my mom’s party?” puppy pout was in full effect, chocolate orbs filled with slight desperation as she looked at her companion, “one, there’ll be an open bar and two, i’ll totally owe you. PRETTY please?”
“ open bar ? “ warren blinked at clara, waiting for the other shoe to drop and the punchline to kick in. but when he smelled their desperation, he sighed. “ okay. but only if your mom doesn’t look for me at the town meetings. i can only listen to old people complain about taxes so many times before losing my sanity. “
dylan minnette. he/him. cismale. — have i just seen WARREN HARRIS leaving doose’s market as an assistant manager instead of showing up at town meeting? these twenty five year olds… they’re the perfect fit for the eric forman trope, not only being witty & cynical but binging sci-fi movies until the sun rises, converse ripping from the inside out, answering 3am phone calls, and the fear of never living up to their potential checks out. maybe no one will notice they were missing, there’s a lot of new faces recently.
dossier. pinterest. spotify. wanted tag.
tw cancer, death.
questions.
what would be your song for the 24 hour dance marathon? why?
warren’s face sparks up in a smile, shaking his head. it seemed a little too easy. “ let’s dance by david bowie. i mean, c’mon. “ he raises his arms up as if it were obvious, as if there could never be another answer. “ under the moonlight, the serious moonlight ... what could be better than that ? “ he recalls his mother’s fondness of bowie, of the casettes and then cds she’d play on the weekends while she cleaned. it’s a memory he could stay lost in for at least 24 hours, if not more.
what book or movie influenced you as a person?
“ star wars ! “ it’s his default answer when it comes to media, brought up at any moment possible. how the original trilogy will never be touched, how the prequels are underappreciated, how the culture surrounding the franchise is now as strong as the studio producing it ... luke skywalker being his favorite halloween costume, he relates to the small-town farmer turned unexpected hero. it’s the easy answer, but also, a miracle on 34th street comes to mind. it was his family’s yearly christmas watch, and young warren would always roll his eyes. yet, as he aged, he understood the movie more each year. sometimes, when he’s down in the dirt, he imagines how a world without him may be worse off, and it always provides him a small comfort.
what would your younger self think of you now?
he practically laughs at the question, though he doesn’t mean to. it’s a heavy one, following two easy ones. as someone who escapes into media, he never enjoyed self-reflection much. and he doesn’t enjoy this question either. “ well, i think tiny warren harris would be pleased to see we’ve achieved every kid’s childhood dream of becoming an assistant manager at a supermarket. “ behind the sarcasm, there’s the obvious answer: he wouldn’t think much of older warren.
background.
warren harris was born and raised in stars hollow, connecticut, as were his parents, and their parents before them. nothing was outside of the ordinary for the family of four. their home was small; still, warren and his little sister, winona, had their own bedrooms. the harrises didn’t have much, but they had enough, and they had each other.
as the children grew, their father became more strict, and their mother became more clingy. warren aged quickly from a nerdy, earnest boy into a rebellious, snippy teenager, though he’d always hold on to his childlike qualities. there was a curiosity in him for the vices in life, drugs and drinking and smoking. it’s a phase most teenagers go through, although, warren probably never outgrew it.
straight a’s were still being brought home, and warren’s mom helped him prepare to go to a state university. while a piece of him yearned to travel out of state, he couldn’t see himself that far from his sister and mother. and so he went away to school in new britain, majoring in psychology and excited for the taste of freedom outside of his small town.
CANCER AND DEATH MENTION BEGIN. the warm, fuzzy feelings quickly dissipated with the news of his dad’s lung cancer diagnosis. for a while, warren attended his classes and planned for his future, but once the cancer spread, his mom begged him to come home. ‘just for a while,’ she asked, and warren picked up shifts at his old job at doose’s market to help provide, even just small amounts. just over two years after the diagnosis, warren’s father passed, and the family’s only son couldn’t imagine leaving his grieving mother and teenage sister behind. CANCER AND DEATH MENTION END.
that was almost 4 years ago now, and he’s been promoted to assistant manager at doose’s. the empty garage was renovated into a tiny apartment for him, just to have space away from his overbearing mom sometimes. the years went so quickly that it still surprises warren, but he’s so comfortable in his daily routine that the thought of college or moving brings a crowd of angry butterflies in his stomach. he’s self aware enough to know he’s likely depressed, that he hasn’t processed the trauma of his father’s death, but he’s so focused on those around him, a coping mechanism to soothe his self-disappointment.
personality.
first and foremost, warren is concerned for others before himself. he feels a sense of responsibility for those around him, but his humbleness and shyness refuses to ever accept the praises he deserves. he is sensitive, caring, loyal, all qualities that make for a good friend. he’s got a sense of wit and snark he inherited from his hard-ass father, but it’s dripped in sarcasm and humor rather than anger. though introverted and shy, he still has decent people skills, outgoing when he wants, though his social battery drains rather quickly. he prefers to have a few close friends and many acquaintances.
in regards to himself, and life as a whole, warren is entirely pessimistic and cynical. he’ll always hold himself to different, higher standards than he does for everyone else, and he’s also quick to criticize himself, even over small occurrences. he finds more joy in helping others than helping himself. he’ll always show up for others, and rarely show up for themselves, but once the weight builds up, warren isn’t afraid of confrontation or criticizing others.
maybe lady macbeth wasn't trying to wash the blood off her hands maybe she was addicted to how good the hand soap smelled have you ever thought about that
Seriously, dad, if you don’t know the Dark Lord of the Sith, the most hated enemy of the Jedi warrior, then…I guess somewhere down the line, I failed with you.
You’re bullshit. You’re pretending like… Like everything’s okay. You know, like… like we didn’t kill Barb. Like… like it’s great. Like we’re in love, and we’re partying… Yeah, let’s party. Party, we’re partying… This is bullshit.
MAKE ME CHOOSE
@jewishsuperfam asked: Eric and Jackie (platonically) or Pam and Dwight (platonically)?
Look, I just realized you’re about to leave for Africa, and I won’t get a chance to say good-bye in person. That makes me sad. I mean, you’ve always been very special to me.Okay, Jackie, if there’s a gun to your head, say the word cream cheese.Look, I just realized you’re about to leave for Africa, and I won’t get a chance to say good-bye in person. That makes me sad. I mean, you’ve always been very special to me.Okay, Jackie, if there’s a gun to your head, say the word cream cheese.