Dinah couldnât even begin to explain the way it felt to have Oliver in her arms once again. There was a story she recalls reading in her younger years about how people were made with two sets of arms and legs, that they were separated from their soulmates and were doomed to spend their lifetime searching for them. But Dinah knew the second she met Oliver that sheâd never have to search another day in her life. He was it for her. No matter the ups and downs - and there have definitely been some ups and downs - they stood by one another. He was in her veins and there was no way in Hell sheâd ever let herself live a day where he wasnât otherwise. She leans into his touch, taking the grip he has on her waist as a sign to take a seat on his lap, causing their frames to become much closer. Her arm is roping itself around his neck while her hand continues to rake gently through the beard he now donned, gently tracing at the line of his jaw.Â
He finally speaks and not only to the words confuse her, but they have her heart sinking in her chest. She wants to know why heâs so sorry, why he canât seem to say anything but sorry. A few silent moments pass between them as she gazes into tired eyes, wishing they could just rejoice in the fact that they were together once again. But it doesnât seem to be that easy. Not this time. An exhale rattles her frame as sheâs pulled flush against him, looking down at him from the slight height advantage that her seat on his lap grants her. âItâs okay, Ollie,â she tries to sound reassuring despite earlier expressing her hurt to him. She was hurt, but so was he, and more so. Whatever petty shit she was hung up on was quickly discarded the second she saw him, the second she pulled him into her arms once again.Â
âBaby,â itâs cooed in barely a whisper as she drops her head to rest on his shoulder, face finding solitude in the crook of his neck. The familiar scent of him fills her head and Dinah canât help but think - how can I be mad at him? They were a team, and he was finally here. That should be enough. But it isnât, and she knows that. Thereâs something he isnât telling her. Or, something he doesnât want to tell her. She can feel him holding it in, the way itâs making his entire body tense against her own. âItâs okay,â she repeats. âWeâre together now.â Her nose nudges against his jaw. âThatâs all that matters, right?â At this point, Dinah is unsure if her persistence is to make him feel better, or herself.Â
Oliver remembered so much about her. Other parts of his life felt hazy, like a half-remembered dream from his childhood, but everything with her was sharp, vivid, in focus, burned into his mind. His sheets were whiteâhe remembered what the curve of her fingers looked like against his stark linens. He could remember how it felt to press himself against her in the early morning and pretend that they had nowhere to go on mornings where he would convince her to stay home with him and play hooky with him. He remembered how it felt every time she gave in to him. Every memory with her felt like it had happened the day beforeâevery time he thought about them, a keen sting had shot through his chest. He thought that he would never see her again. He thought that he could have died and he would have never been able to tell her how goddamn sorry he was.Â
He knew that there wasnât a good excuse, not really, for what he did. It was selfish. He wanted to put her out of harmâs way without thinking about her choices and what she wanted. He wanted to isolate himself, as if that would make it easier for anyone when things got tough. These excuses werenât good enough, especially not for her. She had given him so much and in return he had sent her to the past without an explanation as to why he had abandoned her, alone in the 70s. âI shouldnât have done it,â he replied, his voice still barely above a whisper. âI needed you.â Ollie knew that he shouldnât say that, especially when he didnât think they could continue on like they used to be, especially when he didnât think that he would be able to get close to her again knowing that when times got tough, the world had only sought to tear them apart.Â
Ollie raised a slightly trembling hand up to touch her hair where it draped over her shoulder, his fingertips grazing against her skin as he twisted the strands between his fingertips. He was here. She was here. He could feel her pressed against him. He tried to convince himself that this wasnât doomed, that this was how they were supposed to be, but he just didnât know. He didnât know how to continue on. He didnât know what he was supposed to say to her next. Licking his lips lightly, he took a deep, slightly shaky breath. âEverything went to shit so fast,â he said quietly, his eyes staring straight ahead, unfocused and bleary. He didnât know what to say next, where to start. All Ollie knew was that she was here and he belonged to her. Heart and soul.Â