My gift wasn't helping the family…

But I love my family

[emrysarthurpendragon]

Arthur: COw cow, Mother fu*ck--- Merlin: Œdipus. Arthur: What? Merlin: His name was Œdipus. Arthur: Who's name? Merlin: Nevermind...

Later at the tavern

Arthur: Ha! Take that Œdipus! Gwaine: Oy! Leave my mom alone! Arthur: What?

[theedorksinlove]

MERLIN & ARTHUR PENDRAGON ⤷ merlin ✗ 2x07 - the witchfinder

[emrysarthurpendragon]

Why do men live shorter lives than women? (French Explaination)

You ever heard about that rumour? Yes, the one claiming that, statisticaly, men are more likely to die younger than women? Well, France might have an explaination for it. A couple of days ago, a 88yo man (not that young, but keep the "he's a man" in mind) was brought to the hospital after a rather... unusual sexual experiment. What? You may ask. He put a very specific something in his bum.

A vegetable? A poor animal? A sextoy? Nope. No to all the above.

Toulon's hospital had a good scare after the 88yo arrived with a... BOMB from WWI artillery stuck in his butt. Not a small one, 8in long and 2in wide, introduced for "sexual pleasure" according to the man.

If you ever feel dumb again, just remember a grown man, old enough to be seen as "wise" in some culture, thought he would do that. We never got so close to explain the French saying "se faire péter le c*l" than we did with that man.

[emrysarthurpendragon]

Joyce: BTW... how did you guys heard about the town being in danger? Why did you left our home?

Jonathan: Well... The kids were skating and El' kind of broke that girl's nose and then the cops came to arrest her and...

Hopper: You what? The cops what?!

Will: But they were bullying her and...

Hopper and Joyce: El, you're grounded.

El: But...

All the kids: She just saved us all!

Hopper: My bad. Dear Superhero, go to your room. You are grounded!

[emrysarthurpendragon]

Stranger Things theory (!!BOOK 2 MAJOR SPOILERS!!)

If you haven't watched Stranger Things' finale yet, please don't read what I'm putting under the "read more" here. I know spoilers are basically everywhere since the episodes came out, but still, if you somehow manage to avoid them, DO NOT READ!

Ok. We all know that, in the finale, Eddie Munson died as a hero and, I'm not gonna lie, for a new character, that death impact me more than I thought it would. Maybe because I'm a weirdo and a gamer that never grew out of it. Anyway... we're not here to learn more about my teenage years or whatever. We're here to talk about THEORY of what might happen if they are willing to bring Eddie back in season 5.

Something truly caught me off gard during the finale: we have not seen any of the gang's react to Eddie's death, except for Dustin of course. We went from: "Eddie died" to "Two days later" really quick, with the teens helping out all the people in town, as if nothing happened. At the center, Steve, Robin and Dustin seemed just fine, all smiling and stuff, which is weird since they just lost a friend to demo-bats. They don't even mentioned him until Eddie's uncle comes up and Dustin told him the new and how heroic Eddie had been in his final moments. But what if Dustin's tears were because he was lying to the only man who actually care and love his friend? Because he remembers he almost lost one of his friend to the Upside Down?

What made me think of it was the fact that half the group went in town to help while the other half headed to Hopper and El' former house to clean in up. At the time, they didn't even KNEW Hop was alive, so why would they clean the house? The Byers and El' had left Hawkins months ago, so El' had already picked up her things here and they were probably not planning to move back here without talking with Joyce first. It makes no sense at all. In my opinion - but I might be wrong - they were all cleaning and fixing that place because they had to hide someone. Someone who could not be seen in Hawkins because his name was still labelled with the title of "murderer" and they needed more time to come up with a way to clean his reputation. Maybe Eleven brought more than one person back to like with her powers and offered her former hiding place to that young man, who willingly sacrifice his life for her friends. Plus, they could not just take Eddie to the hospital, he would be under arrest even before they put him in surgery.

So yeah, maybe there's more to come for Eddie. At least, I hope so, because I feel like we barely scrach the surface of what and who that young man is.

[emrysarthurpendragon]

Stranger Things Prompt Requests

Hey guys! I'm leaving for work tomorrow morning for another 10 days (more or less) without internet. With Stranger Things season 4 ending tomorrow too, feel free to send me LOT of prompt so I can write OS and longer fics while I'm away.

I will most likely write about Steve, Billy and, of course, my baby Eddie. Go on, I'll check all the prompts tomorrow before I leave, and will work on it then!

[emrysarthurpendragon]

Zuko: Show me some respect, Aang. I'm older than you.

Aang: Show me some respect, Zu-Zu... I used to be your great grand father.

Sokka: Katara! We have a burn here!

[emrysarthurpendragon]

Antonio: Tio Bruno? Did you ever have a vision about your own future? Everyone's talking about what you predicted to them, but… well…

Bruno, way too fast: No. Never.

Felix: Ha, son! I'm so glad you asked!

Mirabel: Wait… you had a personal vision? What was it about?

Bruno: Can't we go back to the "we don't talk about Bruno" part?

Pepa: You're talking about The Vision?

Julieta: Someone mentioned Bruno's vision?

Bruno: noooo…

Agustin: Oh I remember that day…

Bruno: C'mon, not you too!

Felix: See, Bruno had a vision about that girl in town, the love of his life, judging by what he saw…

Pepa: So we helped him getting ready to meet her in town…

Julieta: But your Tio had always been the anxious type and well… when he came face to face with her…

Felix: HE FACE-PLANTED AND RAN AWAY!

Bruno: Just kill me already…

[what-even-is-thiss]

If people don't admit that alcohol is a drug so help me God I will pour an entire bottle of wine on their hair.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Wine? Drugs. Beer? Drugs. That awful cocktail you made in your dorm room out of leftover coffee and orange juice and tequila? D-d-d-drugs.

[what-even-is-thiss]

This may sound obvious to you but society at large puts alcohol in this removed category away from other drugs. If you tell most wine moms that they have a drug problem they'd be appalled that you'd ever say such a thing. It's just time for humanity to admit that we like doing drugs. Most people's drug of choice just happens to be alcohol.

[emrysarthurpendragon]

I mean, yes. My dad is an alcoholic, and so was his dad before. And you know what alcohol has in common with any other drugs? If one of your direct relative (parents, grandparents, great-grand-parents had a problem with them, you're most likely to develop an addiction too)

So you know what would be awesome? Normalizing the fact that some people say NO to alcohol during dinners/celebrations etc, instead of shaming and making fun of them because they are: "missing all the fun" by staying sober. Oh yeah, I envy you so much for the way you end up sick half the night, or how you can't remember a thing from the previous night, because yeah, it had been SO GREAT.

Oh and yeah, shout out to all the bakers who think it's okay to put alcohol in every single pastry, like there are no kids who would eat them, or not thinking that some people just hate the taste of alcohol. Stop being offend when we complain because there was no indication of said drug being in it. We just wanted a freaking vanilla flan, not "rum with a bit of vanilla and… oh yeah, then flan is there too".

[moringmark]

[runcibility]

I liked this post, scrolled for like another minute before I went “SHIT FUCK SHIT” and scrolled back to reblog it

[emrysarthurpendragon]

Mirabel: Terre brûlée au vent

Antonio:Des landes de pierres

Agustin: Autour des lacs, c'est pour les vivants

Bruno: Un peu d'enfer, le Connemaraaaaaa

[roseaxluna]

DES NUAGES NOIRES QUI VIENNENT DU NORD

[emrysarthurpendragon]

COLORENT LA TERRE, LES LACS, LES RIVIÈRES

[emrysarthurpendragon]

Messing with Alma

Alma: Julieta? Have you seen your sister? It's too hot outside, she needs to cool it out.

Julieta, cooking: I think she's with Bruno, in his room, he has a headache and I can't help it.

Alma: Bruno? Have you seen Pepa?

Bruno, faking agony: Uh… did you check… the market? Julieta sent her there, she needed more eggs… can you turn off the light? Please, mama?

Alma, to the farmer at the market: Excuse me, sir, have you seen Pepa? Bruno told me Julieta asked her to come here.

Farmer: Hum… ya', came earlier. Said she'll grab some medicinal plants for poor Bruno.

Alma, slightly annoyed when she reached the next person: Do you, by any chance, know where Pepa went after she came here?

Woman: Sure, she was heading home.

Alma: Julieta, is your sister back?

Julieta: Oh yeah, she helped Bruno and headed to the market for me, she forgot the strawberries.

[emrysarthurpendragon]

Mirabel: Terre brûlée au vent

Antonio:Des landes de pierres

Agustin: Autour des lacs, c'est pour les vivants

Bruno: Un peu d'enfer, le Connemaraaaaaa

[emrysarthurpendragon]

Camilo as Bruno: And so, beautiful Lady, I've been wondering if you could consider joining me for dinner… let's say, tonight? For you, I'll cook everything.

Woman, flustered: I… I'd like that, Bruno. I'll meet you at…

Camilo as Bruno: I'll pick you at your house at 7pm. There's a special place I'd like to show you first. If you don't mind?

Woman: Of course

* * *

Couple of minutes later at the casa Madrigal.

Bruno: YOU DID WHAT?!

Camilo: Dolores told me you've spent the last decades declaiming poetry for her. You need to act on these feelings, Tio.

Bruno: *starts panicking*

Camilo: Now, listen. You pick her at her house tonight. Then, just follow the flowers' trail down to the clearing, with the river. With the sun setting, it would be beautiful. Tell her she looks just like this place. Put a flower in her hair. Don't make a fool of yourself!

Bruno: Mama! Help me!

[brillsstuff]

No thoughts; just Bruno, Agutín and Felix singing Bohemian Rhapsody after Bruno returns.

Were they drunk? Heck yeah.

Is Mirabel laughing her butt off? Heck yeah.

Is Alma never showing her face in town again? Heck yeah

[emrysarthurpendragon]

Bruno, in his bedroom: Mama… I don't want to die, sometimes wished I'd never been born at all…

Meanwhile, Dolores during breakfast: Oh my God…

Abuela: What's wrong, Dolores?

Dolores: Tio Bruno just said he wished he'd never been born.

Bruno, headbanging on his bed: I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me

Dolores: He thinks we don't love him?

Mirabel:But… he seemed fine yesterday. I shared some music with him.

Bruno, turning the sound up and jumping everywhere: So you think you can love me and leave me to die Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby, Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here

Dolores: Nevermind, he's living his best life.

When Bruno shows up for breakfast, they burst out laughing, and he is confused as Hell.

[emrysarthurpendragon]

Felix: Bruno? What the hell are you doing in Pepa's wedding dress?

Bruno: *froze and stutters*

Bruno: It was my wedding day, we were getting ready and there wasn't a cloud in the sky…

Felix: No clouds allowed, in the sky!

Both: *started dancing a tango*

Pepa: Why did I marry him, again?

Julieta: For the same exact reason we love Bruno.

Pepa: Because's he's stupid…

Julieta: …and adorable, yes.