jealous of the captain’s chair

“e," 31. she/her in a he/him sort of way. queer horror writer. captain kirk kinnie and a hole for thorin oakenshield. 🖖 i eat terfs and pissbaby antis for breakfast. no minors. i make lotr edits over at @queen_maebh on tiktok. icon by the amazing @zevampirex

[enbyofdionysos]

health stuff under the cut

went to go get bloodwork today and got a call from the doctor’s office to give them a call back (they were already closed so I have to call Monday) which I thought was weird bc I didn’t get a my chart notif

checked it and saw my test results tho

thyroid: good

blood sugar: good

high LDLs and non-HDL cholesterol with low triglycerides: (high risk for heart attack and stroke)

the crazy thing too is I’ve been having heart palpitations but chalked it up to dehydration bc I eat healthy af and work out regularly (and I’ve been having right side pain for a while — bad cholesterol is made in the liver)

the obnoxious thing is it might be genetic (my grandpa’s side of the family is stroke-ville and my sister has high cholesterol too) so I might have to go on medication OR I really do need to quit my job bc it’s killing me

[enbyofdionysos]

they’re playing hollywood undead in this panera

it is 8:40 in the morning

[queenerestor]

sure you did

[aphrostiel]

vulcan clippy

[belalubroski]

Bilbo saving Thorins life up on raven hill by taking the blow that was intended for him <3 and being saved in turn by the mithril Thorin gave him<3 but being still injured enough not to be able to get up again <3 and Thorin being given a window of opportunity and the painful adrenaline rush at seeing Bilbo go down to make the killing blow to azog <33 and then Thorin and Bilbo collapsed together on the ice, barely able to speak but they hold onto each other and the eagles are coming <33333 yay <3

[msbarrows]

I hope I'm online when it happens. I want to see a sudden flood of crab rave memes right after refreshing my dash, and in the middle of it all, the Castiel news meme. That's how I want to learn of it; not through anything solemn or serious, but via overwhelming silly celebration.

[enbyofdionysos]

my dream job is to be a web specialist/marketing specialist at a queer hvac company that also sometimes does plumbing and roofing and I write their blogs and optimize their website for two days a week and then the other two days we shut down the business and we go out and do bird conservation and touch frogs and then I have a three day weekend and they pay me $100,000 and they have paid period leave and the office is 15 minutes away and has natural lighting and smells good and the contractors are really nice and the dental coverage and healthcare are great and fully covered with only taking $25 out of your paycheck a month

[enbyofdionysos]

YOU GUYYYYYYS

A WORK PROJECT THAT HAS MADE MY LIFE HELL FOR TWO YEARS IS STOPPING BC THE CLIENT CANT AFFORD IT RN 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[princesswidget]

Pros of rereading your own fics: Holy shit this is amazing

Cons of rereading your own fics: How is there always a typo I missed every single time I read this

[glacecakes]

[enbyofdionysos]

Frodo and Merry helping Sam through his heat (or rut) while on the road send tweet

[iamthetruestrepairman]

women’s bodies weren’t “made” to do anything, nature didn’t “intend” anything, no human action is “unnatural” and there is no inherent “purpose” to a human life

[iamthetruestrepairman]

people weren’t designed to do anything because they weren’t designed at all. Hope this helps 🤩

[aetherograph]

@moniquill always says: objects have purposes. beings have experiences.

[wdarlingyap]

So. Real talk.

I have spent a significant portion of my life sick in bed. This means I have read... a lot of fanfiction. I do not want to run the numbers (for my own sanity) but there is a nonzero chance that I have read a greater volume of fanfiction than most of you will in a lifetime (yes, even in a tumblr crowd, where I have some real competition 😆).

For a number of years I was really embarrassed by this because for most of my life, I've fit best with the 'socially elitist nerd' set. You know - the ones who don't care if you make a little less eye contact, as long as your performance of intelligence can make them feel intelligent too. I "passed" there. So more than a decade of constant fluff and rom-com "junk" really felt like something I should be ashamed of.

But I've realized recently what fanfiction (or any free web fiction) really is. It's the author's hopes. It's the author's fears. It's all the things you wouldn't write to publish because they feel too sad, or sinful, or sacred.

Without really thinking about it, I've been drinking from the well of human desire - from fear, and love, and lust. I've been reading your precious wishes for family, or protection, or connection. I've been learning how you dream life could be.

Thank you to every writer whose work I have read or will read someday. Thank you for sharing the most precious parts of your heart, even when you didn't realize what you were doing. To every writer out there - every middle schooler with dreams, every suburban mom wishing her life could be something more. You reached out into the oblivion with the piece of yourself you probably don't even share with those closest. And somewhere in this world, a person noticed. Your dreams and hopes and wishes became a piece of me too.

I am so lucky to be the person who heard you.

[enbyofdionysos]

okay but Bilbo having really disappointing sexual encounters for most of his life up until Thorin and then having the absolute most toe-curling sex he’s ever had

[enbyofdionysos]

consider……. trans Bilbo who has never had an orgasm before Thorin

[enbyofdionysos]

☝️ Bilbo who has never had an orgasm before Thorin and squirts for the first time

[enbyofdionysos]

bitches will be like “she’s beautiful, I’d let her sit on my face like a throne” and it’s fucking 90s Sean Astin — it’s me, I’m bitches

[enbyofdionysos]

and what if I bought a lesbian pride flag with memphis belle sean on it off etsy what then

[enbyofdionysos]

….. maybe I should write about Thorin making Bilbo squirt

[enbyofdionysos]

she’s here ✨

[nondelphic]

writing isn’t hard. i just have to extract 80,000 words from my brain using sheer psychic force