ₙₒₐₕ ⱼₒₙₑₛ . ／ ENDEAVOUR

en·deav·or /ənˈdevər/ — earnest and industrious effort, especially when sustained over a period of time. noah jones | fourty-one | the fabricator.

[endcavours]

codanpc·:

agentbrunhilde·:

the horror dawns on her face like a tidal wave. it doesn’t take more than four words to strike fear into her heart in a way that she thought she had left behind. lena believed that if she’d left the kids back in the safety of the little refuge with a trusted babysitter then maybe she could put it all out of her mind for just a week or two. not that she wanted to forget them, it was just easier to be a spy when there were less strings attached. but it’s not her worry or her horror that is important now. 

she looks him dead in the eyes, “we’ll find it. if no one took it it’ll be at the coat check. if someone took it…we’ll track them down. it’s going to be alright. we’ll get it back,” she assured, “coat check first, okay?” 

as if on cue a man in a sharp fitted suit steps into veiw, the wallet in his hand. he extends it towards noah, and offers a flicker of a smile. it is supposed to look polite but it seems forced. the expression on the man’s face is neutral and there is something hollow about his eyes. the faded traces of bruises around his throat are visible and his knuckles look like they are recently bloodied. but the injuries which are healing now don’t seem to impact his straight and strong posture. 

“mr. and mrs. jones,” he says, with a small bow, “i am glad i found you. this was on the floor and when i asked miss clare what to do she pointed you out to me. very fortunate that you have so many friends here or else i fear i never would have found you.” 

the words are jovial but the tone is thin and strained, as if he is a mouth piece speaking a stunted script, “miss clare also asked me to invite you to the after party. the jet is boarding in fifteen minutes. i understand you have children that may need to be tucked in, but she’s assured me she’s already sent over a fantastic babysitter.” 

              the wallet that comes into view is held by a hand with bruised knuckles,    a redness that poorly fades against regular skin tone.   noah recognizes it immediately.    his chest relaxes for all but one second because the next his brain is realizing that the stranger handing it to him must’ve looked inside in their attempt to return it to its rightful owner.    everything is happening so quickly that noah doesn’t even have time to panic about the photograph, it becomes apparent that this stranger knows more than he should when he begins talking.

noah doesn’t think he has ever tried to hold an expression with as much strength as he’s currently using to keep from falling apart.    he wants to fall apart,   he feels a surge under his skin,   urging him to use force and break out in violence.   his blood is boiling,   his fingers shake when he takes his wallet back. 

the name clare doesn’t sound familiar,   and while it presses into his skull,   all he can think of are ben and harper and some stranger with them.   he feels dizzy.   he wants to throw up.   noah isn’t even sure if he can talk,   or if he can move any more than he already has without snapping.   

jesus,   how did it get this bad without anyone noticing ? 

he needs to force himself to talk.   noah feels like he’s taken a stab to the chest,   hearing the man speak made his ears feel like they’re bleeding,   but they need to see the end to this,   just a glance of it,    if they’re going to get back to ben and harper.   he has never felt such a desperate urge to save somebody.    he’s willing to die right here one-hundred times to make sure that they’re safe.    it seems that it’s too soon to die,   though.   there’s a party to go to,   which sounds a lot like dying anyway,   but it also looks like a glimpse of the end.    noah squeezes lena’s hand tightly. 

   “  would it be too much to ask,  ”    his voice is tight,   he knows it’s too much to ask.   they’re using ben and harper to force them into doing anything.   still,  noah thinks it’s worth getting information,   “   for one of us to decline this invitation ?    we don’t trust just anyone with our children,  ”    his eyes are icy cold,   nearly penetrating.   his hands are still shaking.   being forced to remain collected feels a lot like going insane.    “  our hiring process for babysitters is rather thorough,   you see.   ” 

[endcavours]

agentbrunhilde·:

@endcavours·

“Darling, are you alright? You look rather frantic. Like you did when that mouse ran across the bed.” 

              noah doesn’t know when it happened.   the last time he checked his pocket was ten minutes ago,  and it the moment his heart sunk into his stomach and someone threw an imaginary noose around his throat--    noah is finding it difficult to keep up with steady breaths.   his wallet is gone.   there are two possible options to explain why--   he dropped it,   or someone took it right from his pocket,   and the paranoid part of his brain is convinced of the latter.    noah has everything in that wallet.    forgeries,   his family.

     “   lena,  ”    he releases a shaky breath,   attempting to keep up with appearances but undoubtedly looking agitated,   “   my wallet--    it’s gone.   ”

[endcavours]

levimercer·:

It takes a minute for Levi to finagle his limbs into working order, but once he does he shuffles over and tugs open the door. 

He smiles faintly at Noah—not a face he’d expected to see but welcome nonetheless. “Come in,” he says, taking a step back to clear the doorway. “Everything all right?”

              “  thank you,  ”   noah enters the room with a polite nod,  turning back to face levi once he’s made it inside far enough.   “  sorry to bother you,  i’m sure you have orders to rest,  ”   noah apologizes,   taking a small pause between his next words.    “   everything is alright,  yes,  ”   he nods,   “  but speaking of doctor’s orders,  charlie came to my room and asked for a second invitation.   he expertly avoided the topic of permission when i asked if he’d gotten the okay from you,   so i just came to get the request cleared before proceeding.   ”

[endcavours]

agentbrunhilde·:

Lena runs her hand across his shoulders, lingering in the brief and undisturbing physical contact. she does not want to jar him from his focus or knock the pen in any way. “They also had the most challenging task. Keeping trigger happy men in one place is quite difficult,” she reasoned, sitting down next to him, “I’m just glad it was Levi. He’s the only one of us bulky enough to withstand a bus.” 

Frowning softly as she watches his meticulous work, “I know it wasn’t the best plan but it was all we could manage. And it was important, the information Mort and I recovered is imperative. And I think we’ve set them back some by burning their files.” 

              “  yeah,  ”   just the feeling of her fingers on his shoulders is enough to ease some of the tension that holds them stiff.   “  yeah,  they did,  ”   noah agrees.   his eyes don’t find lena yet--   they’re focused on the tip of the pen that he moves across the blank paper,   leaving behind black ink with a flick of his wrist.    “   i hope it’s the last time anyone has to be hit by any kind of moving unit,  ” 

it shows on his face,   it must if lena’s mentioning it.   noah is worried,   his expression is lined with stress and the underlying anxiety that has come back to linger.   he knows that he can’t stop lena from taking on dangerous tasks,   that would hold her back and hold the entire mission back,   but he does not know where to put this inability to do something besides quietly concealed frustration. 

  “   but i know this situation is going to repeat itself,  ”    his hand stops.   “  every plan,  every next move from here on out--   it’s always all or nothing.   i used to be fine with that...   but now i can’t sleep,   thinking about what’s going to go wrong that next time around.   ”

[fliesintheattic-deactivated2020]

“You had a sensitive nervous system. You had an enhanced reaction to reality. You were very affectionate. You appreciated things. You appreciated them more than other people. You practically went into trances of rapture. You wanted the world to be better than it was.”

— Margaret Atwood, from Moral Disorder and Other Stories; “The Headless Horseman,” (via violentwavesofemotion)

[endcavours]

&&.   closed starter  |  @levimercer !

               visiting people in their rooms is not something that noah is taken to do,   but for once he actually has something to discuss with levi before he can proceed with his work.    charlie gave him the impression that he did not consult with levi before making the request for a second invitation,   and noah has gotten to know him well enough to figure out when charlie is in his stubborn doctor setting.  

he gently knocks on the door once he finds it,   standing out in the hallway.   “   it’s me,   noah.   ” 

[endcavours]

agentbrunhilde·:

@endcavours·

“Oh darling, I’m so glad you weren’t there to see it. I’d like to say this team is a well oiled machine but it feels more like several separate runaway trains.” 

             “   i’ve more or less caught up on the events,   ”     noah grumbles,    softened by his focus on the pen he’s dipping into a bottle of ink.   the original invitation is off to the side and a blank piece of paper sits in front of him.     “   it sounds like henry’s and klara’s side of things are what went off target,   and levi getting hit by a bus resulted in just what you’d expect out of it,   ”    he keeps his eyes down,   saying nothing more after those miffed words.

[endcavours]

&&.   closed starter | @rcmanblackwood

              “   i don’t believe we’ve had to chance to meet.   i’m noah jones,   i fabricate but i mostly enjoy putting very small ships inside of glass bottles.   ”

[endcavours]

&&.   closed starter | @klaraxblom

         “    i know it is not under great circumstances,   but i hope you’re enjoying at least the view of the mountains.   when lena suggested moving here,   i did not know how i’d fall in love with it.   ”

[endcavours]

agentbrunhilde·:

it’s not any easy decision to make but it felt like her heart made up it’s mind before her brain could even consider. she couldn’t let levi, henry, klara, and mortimer face that danger alone and while she wasn’t eager to run into the line of fire she knew they would need someone with her skills to gather crucial information. and while she was not dead set on being an active agent again, she knew that she at least had to assist in some way. but staying on the bench, staying at home was almost more of a risk, any telephone call she made to the team could be traced or tapped and there would be direct line back to her family. 

“whatever this is it’s powerful enough to overthrow mi6 and the cia which means it may have taken switzerland and other countries too. we don’t know that we’re safe here anymore,” she said, shaking slightly, “if there is someone out there who wants to bring harm to spies then they might be looking for us too. and there is no way that i can rest knowing these is someone out there who might wish us ill and have the guts to take action. if they massacred an entire agency it’s not unlikely that they are hunting us, or rather, hunting anyone associated with levi. that now includes us. i’d rather lead them away from the kids, lure them out into the open, and kill them before they have the chance to make any moves to hurt us.” 

she looks out the window at her perfect rose garden and at the stone wall surrounding their peaceful abode. it had always seemed like just a cute part of the landscape but now it felt like a barrier: a line int he sand that she had to decide whether or not to cross. “i want to help them, and  i want to get it done fast so we can return to this life,” she told him, “but if it gets to be too much i’m not afraid of giving up and finding a new place to call home. my first priority will always be you and the children, but i just don’t see any other way to make this go away.” 

               nothing will be the same after this.    even if all they’re doing is having a conversation about it,   even if they decide not to do anything,   nothing is going to be the same.    the looming knowledge that both of the stronghold agencies of leading countries have fallen to shambles will hang over them until it’s solved...    if it can be solved.    noah can’t wrap his head around it.    he didn’t think it was possible to bring down the cia and mi6,    less do it in one go at the same time.

     whatever this is,   whoever is doing it...    they have a lot of control.    more control than noah wants to think about.     what if it’s not just spies they’re after ?   if they’ve taken down mi6 and the cia,   god knows they can target any government force. 

     he lets go to put his head in his hands.    a sigh falls from his lips and his shoulders droop.    it’s not the day he wanted to wake up to,   but it’s one that he can’t run from.    lena’s right,   there’s no guarantee that they’re secure here.    it’s no guarantee that anywhere is protected from this.     making the world a safer place for their children is a duty he’s willing to take.    he knows what lena is saying.

     it’s just...    hard.    leaving them is hard.     

     “  what does levi want to do ?   ”    he raises his head,   eyes carrying accumulated weariness.   it’s not a yes yet.    noah doesn’t know what is best for them to do,    but he doesn’t think there are many options.   lena would have already considered them,    and she deduced that helping cut the head off of this thing is what she wants to do.    noah trusts her,   he followed her all the way out here and he doesn’t regret the choice for one second.   it’s almost a yes,  it’s the best he can do until he’s figured his thoughts out.

[endcavours]

agentbrunhilde·:

she reaches out and takes his hand, holding it gently in the warmth of the sunrays gracing the table between them. she knows he is distressed, she is too. but there is no choice: she can’t keep it from him and she has to give levi an answer soon so that the team can continue on whether it’s with or without them. 

“ it means that there is some deep corruption throughout the agencies of the world and there are no longer spies allied with countries to defend the peace. it’s every man for themselves and we don’t know if there is anyone out there willing to fight back the chaos,” she slows her pace, “levi, mortimer, klara, henry, and another former mi6 operative are going to be tracking down the source of the issue. we could help them.” 

her eyes move to the door, a nervous habit, once that’s worsened greatly int he past few hours. “as far as i know the team wasn’t tracked here and our location is not compromised. but i think we should have the kids stay over at etta’s starting today. even if we choose to stay i want to make sure there’s no one watching us.” 

               it’s too much.   levi came with a lot of baggage--   noah understands that this is beyond his control.   it’s beyond anyone’s control,   from the sounds of it.   still,   he wishes that he wouldn’t have found them.   he wishes that no one had thought of them when this happened.   noah takes lena’s hand,  speechless at the news.

    dread begins to seep into his heart as if through an infusion pump.   he leans back on the chair,   follows lena’s glance to the door and then to the stairs.   he has the urge to walk up there and be with ben and harper although he knows that they’re sleeping,   knows they’re fine,   they’re safe.

     paranoia does not care about gripping too tightly.

     “   do you want to help them ?   ”    noah asks despite everything else lena says.   he needs to know if she wants involvement in this.   with the agencies fallen and the missing agents,    he knows it won’t be an easy task for levi and the team he’s building to take on.   he’s aware of how much help they need,   of the giant of a mission that’s waiting for them to face without an agency to back them up.   it’s foolish,   even,   but he knows levi well enough,   knows of his skills,   knows of lena’s skills.

    she would be a great asset.   lena’s an excellent spy,   that’s for damn sure,   but she’s also an excellent mother.   the mother of their children,   the woman he wants to marry and spend the rest of their life with just how they’ve been living for the past five years.   it’s different now.   they have too much to lose.

[endcavours]

agentbrunhilde·:

this was going to be a difficult conversation. she was already battling herself over the issue. what she wanted to do, what she needed to do, and what was right for the family all felt like different directions and she was being tugged so taught she felt like she was being torn. but she found solace in his eyes, knowing that whatever decision they came to if he was on her side then she could feel at peace. 

“levi visited last night,” she said. “in the middle of the night, not bruised or bloodied or anything. i would have woke you and gotten charlie too if there was immediate danger. it seemed like a nice house call at first but,” that wasn’t entirely true she’d known from the start levi was the bearer of bad news but she felt it was best to characterize the moment as peacefully as possible, “there’s trouble at mi6 and the cia. it runs deep. a lot of good agents are dead. really, every active agent is either missing or dead.” 

               levi.   the name falls like a bag of bricks on his chest.    the life they built here gets a crack on it by the mere sound of it.    noah knows that whatever comes out of lena’s lips next won’t be good.   he knows the line of work,   he knows the people who do it.    you don’t see them unless you have to,   unless there’s a good reason that they’re in your life.    they have been without solid communication with their old mission leader for years now and it was done on purpose.    the news that levi visited last night means that he was here late enough that noah was asleep and missed it.    the time of his visit unsettles him,   and his unease is validated by lena’s explanation. 

     needless to say,   the surprise is evident on noah’s face.

     “   what does that mean ?   ”    he asks,   voice coarse.   his first concern is the children.    the thought occurs to him of what would happen to them if noah and lena were killed and it quickly brings forth his next question.   “  are they--   are we being hunted ?   ” 

[endcavours]

agentbrunhilde·:

@endcavours

She’s waiting at the kitchen table, watching the steam from the freshly brewed tea curl up and disappear into the ether. When she hears his footsteps on the stairs she sighs, and upon his entrance smiles with lackluster joy. “Good morning love, I have some news. Do you have time to talk before work?” 

              lena’s expression places worry upon his brow.   his shoulders tense right away,   his hand falls from where he was fixing his collar and noah slows his walk inside.    news.   he doesn’t like the sound of that word or how it feels in the strange atmosphere of the kitchen. 

     “   of course,  ”    he nods,   dropping his bag from his shoulder as he takes a seat in front of lena.   he tries not to look anxious or worried,   hopes that whatever lena has to tell him isn’t as serious as her expression makes it seem.    ever since this became his life   (   the children,  lena,  their home   )   he has been resistant to change.     “  what is it,   darling ?  ”