Which Shakespearean character should you fight?
Hamlet: Absolutely fight Hamlet. He'll probably cry and whine about some existential crap while you pummel him. Do it. Fight this piece of shit.
Othello: What the fuck? Do you want to die? This dude is a goddamn general. He smothered his wife to death because he thought she was cheating on him. Do not fight Othello. It will not end well.
Romeo: Please fight him. His cronies may come after you, but you'll have the Capulets on your side.
Juliet: Don't risk it. This bitch literally stabbed herself after she found Romeo dead. Who knows what other crazy shit she'd do?
Puck: Honestly, good luck. He's a shitstain that deserves to be fought, but there ain't no way you can beat him. Pray he doesn't try to mess with you and move on.
Lady M: No. Don't do it. She will plot to destroy you. Before you know it, it will be your blood she sees on her hands.
Edmund: Fight the FUCK outta him. He probably knows his way around a sword, but he'll spend so much of his time revealing his wicked schemes to you that you can skewer him with ease. Fight this bastard.
Beatrice: This woman will attack you so hard and fast, you won't know what hit you. First, she'll verbally abuse you, then when you're down and questioning all of your life choices, she'll kick you in the gut. Do not fight Beatrice.
Prospero: You shouldn't fight this geezer. Even if you win, he'll shipwreck you with his bippity boppity magic shit and make you believe your son is dead in an intense revenge plot.
Duke Orsino: Fight him, but go easy. He just deserves to get slapped around a bit. He's likely too love drunk to fight back anyway.
Brutus: Oh hell no. This guy is a seasoned soldier. Someone will convince him that your death will benefit Rome, then it's all downhill for you. Stay away from Brutus.
Earl of Gloucester: You monster. Why would you fight this poor man? He can't even see you. Why would you want to put him in harm's way? Hasn't he suffered enough?
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