jaded

22 | mdni | he/it | active june '26

[enidsmourning]

⊹ ࣪ ˖๋࣭⭑ it's mae time .ᐟ

cw; ed!!!! restricting!!! this is an ed blog expect ed things!!! block, don't report!!!

.𖥔 ݁ ˖╭ ┆my name is mae! here are some things abt me! ╰⊹ ࣪

i am...

── .✦ 21 years old! i'm not diagnosed with ednos, but i do restrict heavily and it feels good to do so. i have adhd, suspected bpd, and possible osdd or ddnos, not sure yet :p i know there's many of me in one body but that's it! i'm ftm (pre-everything) and i like dressing feminine + being a pretty boy!

i like...

ˋ°•*⁀➷ lots of things!! i like arctic foxes a lot, they're my favorite animal! my favorite movies are the hunchback of notre dame and the crow (90's ver.,) i'm really into bead weaving right now and most beadcrafts. i like a lot of older emo music but i listen to a lot of stuff :D i love coconut cream dr pepper zero sugar <𝟑 .ᐟ

my stats...ᵎ!ᵎ

── .✦ cw; ??? 𖹭 sw; 178.6 𖹭 hw; 198.2 𖹭 ugw; 110 or lower ദ്ദി◝ ⩊ ◜.ᐟ

dni if...

── .✦ you are a minor or an ageless blog! you are a zionist! you are a transphobe/homophobe/racist/transmed/terf/radfem and so on and so forth! especially if you have a savior complex or you think you can fix people with disorders. i do not want you here! nobody else does either. go away! same goes for fetishizers!!! if you interact with non-disordered blogs or you are a non-disordered blog, i will block you! if you post f4tsp0, i will block you!

i think that's all for now... my only other headmate's acc is @caelscorpse... :p bye bye!

[enidsmourning]

i think im going to start fasting until 10 in the mornings just so i can eat before work

[enidsmourning]

it feels like im losing my sanity a little bit and my boyfriend just doesn't care

[enidsmourning]

in his defense i trivialize all my issues and then i told him to not let me distract him if he's busy. so im the problem here.

[enidsmourning]

i miss when clothes fell off my body instead of clinging to it. i miss when i was easier to look at instead of what ive become. i don't like who i am. i miss being found pretty. i miss being sick. i miss wearing my mental illness instead of concealing it behind layers of fat.

[enidsmourning]

it's starting to smell like relapse season

[enidsmourning]

it feels like im losing my sanity a little bit and my boyfriend just doesn't care

[enidsmourning]

convinced he doesn't even like me lmao. i wouldn't either.

[enidsmourning]

i used to be perfect and now im a bloated and gross piece of shit.

[enidsmourning]

im so fat. im fucking hideous. actually deformed it's disgusting. how could i let myself get like this??? im fucking delusional if i think i deserve to be happy looking like an actual beached whale.

[enidsmourning]

i used to be fucking beautiful and then i opened my mouth

[enidsmourning]

im not smart enough for this. i'll never be smart enough for this. im so sick of pretending ive got a future when i don't.

[enidsmourning]

goddamn do i want to be dead.

[enidsmourning]

good luck to my boyfriend. his partner (me) is mentally fucked and he doesn't even know it.

[theburnngchurch-deactivated2025]

MY BODY IS A CAGE

[enidsmourning]

google how do i go back in the past to kill myself

[enidsmourning]

i feel awful today. wonderful. i think its time i relapse or something so maybe i'm at least pleasant to look at in the pit of my depression.

[enidsmourning]

yeah there's no way his bitchass loves me. i think i have to kill myself.