Medicine
chaleure:
resting an elbow on the balcony railing to prop his head up on his fist, hyunwoo turns his head towards the girl and shoots her a friendly smile. “are you chaeyeon? i’m hyunwoo, joonki’s friend. it’s nice to meet you,” he says. “i’ve heard a lot about you!”
Misery does not, despite what Chaeyeon has read, enjoy company. Especially when said company is one of Joonki’s stuffy friends. No, not just any stuffy friend, the stuffy friend. The friend that thinks it’s a good idea to throw wine tasting parties on a Saturday night. The friend Joonki takes out to brunch every week. The friend he doesn’t shut up about afterwards. The friend whose favorite color’s red. Who bakes when he has free time. Who thinks his neck is too small. Who won first place in a third grade art contest. Chaeyeon knows more about him than he probably does about her. She figures the conversations about her started and ended with “she’s my sister”.Â
In a place where she didn’t belong, surrounded by people she’d never be like, she knew this Han Hyunwoo was the one thing that would finally push her over the edge. She puts both hands on the railing and tightens her grip instead of extending a greeting. She closes her eyes. She figures the next thing he says will be the last thing she hears before she dies. She rocks back onto the balls of her feet. She leans back slightly. She figures she’ll need momentum to really push herself off this building. A guiding hand to that one last sweet rush. She waits for him to speak, for him to say something so precisely in line with the folds of Joonki’s world. Something to remind her that she doesn’t belong.
He doesn’t. Instead, he tells a joke. A small one that he’s clearly rehearsed in front of a mirror. A joke about the wine. But there’s something about the way he says it. Something that can’t be rehearsed in front of a mirror. His voice is hushed not to be polite but because he’s scared. Unsure, maybe. Vulnerable, definitely. Chaeyeon turns and leans one elbow on the railing so she’s facing him. She looks at how he says the joke like it’s a big gamble. She looks at how his jaw tenses. She looks at how his lips, illuminated by the lights from buildings too far away, don’t turn up to smile. She looks at how his eyes only trail her arms as she shifts position. He feels uneasy. She’s burst a bubble held together by cheese trays and homemade centerpieces. Chaeyeon can’t help but laugh. Maybe misery did enjoy company.
