The Overthinking Personâs Drinking Game
When you experience a vague sense of inequity or deprivation but donât have a template for whether your expectations are fair, drink.
When you arenât sure whether the lingering sensation that you arenât liked enough is a rational response to unfair circumstances or is in fact symptomatic of your tendency to blame your environment for your own failure to self-actualize, drink.
Drink if you experience a sudden flood of shame at the realization that you havenât done much to deserve really any of the things to which you aspire.
If you suddenly realize you actually felt militantly entitled to something while sabotaging yourself, drink twice.
If you spend a long time mulling the nature of âdeservingâ and what it actually means, and if you canât really resolve the question of whether anyone specifically âdeservesâ anything and come to an impasse about chaos and the innate unfairness of life, drink.
When a person or situation isnât what you thought it was going to be, and you canât figure out whether this is your fault for projecting unfounded qualities onto the person or someone elseâs fault for actually misleading you, mistreating you or letting you down, drink.
Drink when ambivalence haunts you.
If you notice that you unconsciously but consistently put yourself into situations that deprive you of your resources and move you further away from your goals, drink.
If you cannot work out whether your present situation, challenge, relationship et al is yet another state of unconscious self-sabotage despite the fact you feel deprived, drink.
If you canât tell whether youâre actually in a negative situation or just an ungrateful person who blames everyone else for your problems, drink.
Drink if you arenât sure whether you are assuming too much responsibility for your own current unhappiness or not enough.
If you find that after long hours of contemplative malaise you suddenly feel as if nothing in particular is actually wrong and you feel the desire to relax or celebrate, drink.
If you suddenly find yourself highly focused on gratitude and create for yourself a long list of all the things that you are doing successfully or correctly or that you are fortunate to have and want to feel unburdened or euphoric, drink.
If you canât decide whether you are actually âcelebratingâ or simply engaging in artificial gestures of relief, take two drinks.
If you canât tell whether you are an overly-strict person with inappropriate guilt about normal human self-moderation behavior or an avoidant adult child making excuses for your poor coping, drink.
If you feel persistently like you are failing to grow up, drink.
If you canât tell whether a certain youthfulness in others represents an admirable refusal to adhere to repressive social norms or an actual inability to deal with difficult adult challenges, drink.
If you arenât sure what it is right to expect of yourself, drink.
If you arenât sure whether you are repeatedly failing to reach a personal set of behavioral goals or simply consistently feeling inadequate no matter how hard you work, drink.
If you arenât sure whether you need to âlighten upâ or employ more self-discipline, drink.
If you arenât sure whether you do or donât want to talk to your friends about it because you arenât sure whether you are a reasonable person experiencing occasional insecurity or a neurotic person who cannot be soothed, drink.
If you suspect you might not even have much reason to be unhappy and in fact just overthink everything and lack a stable internal compass, drink.
If you think you might just feel lost because you drink too often, but then you think too much when you arenât drinking, cry.
If youâd rather not think about this kind of thing right now or maybe ever, take two drinks.Â
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