๐๐๐ซ๐ญ ๐๐๐ โ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ข๐๐๐ซ๐ข๐จ โ the one where they finally talk about what happened in the summer of 2021.
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ | ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ | ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐: 10k
๐๐ฎ๐ญ๐ก๐จ๐ซ'๐ฌ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ๐: part three! this might honestly be my favourite chapter of the entire series. it's everything that made me fall in love with these two. they're stubborn, not communicating and all that good stuff! as always, let me know what you think and what you're excited to see from these two next! mwah <3
๐ฐ๐๐ซ๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ: explicit language, sexual content, weddingrry, angst(ish) and again these two idiots not communicating but maybe they do, who knows?
๐ฉ๐ฅ๐๐๐ฌ๐ ๐ฅ๐๐ญ ๐ฆ๐ ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ ๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ค ๐จ๐ ๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ฒ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐๐ซ ๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐๐ HERE
๐๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ฒ, ๐๐๐๐
The sun had risen the next day with such force that pretty much everyone had forgotten about the storm the day prior. Pretty much everything was dry, and everyone seemed to just have slight cabin-fever and want to get out and stretch their legs.
YN was apart of this group.
Last night she hadnโt slept very well. After her conversation with Harry, and the way heโd looked when sheโd kicked him out โ she couldnโt help but feel bad. She stood behind what she said, she did want to do things on her terms now, but there was just a part of her that wondered what that actually was.
Sheโd told him to leave, and said that she hadnโt wanted to listen to anything he had to say. But, the more she thought about it last night the more she realised that she might have been wrong. She was tired, and she was frustrated and she definitely didnโt want Harry to think that he could just storm into her room and demand she talk to him, because he couldnโt โ heโd lost that right a long time ago. But he wanted to talk, and there was a tiny part of YN that wanted to listen. She wanted to hear what he had to say, but she felt like she couldnโt give in, she had to be strong.
Sheโd spent all night deciding that sheโd just figure it out as she went โ she wasnโt going to search Harry out, but she wasnโt going to ignore him anymore. Sheโd donโt that out of anger, and he didnโt deserve that much.
What she hadnโt expected was that Harry was going to be the one avoiding her.
To get out, the group had decided to venture into the Positano town centre before their wine tasting event in the afternoon. Today was their last day before full wedding events started tomorrow.
Harry had avoided her when she came downstairs, and on the walk down and even now that they were doing a bit of browsing and shopping in the centre before lunch.
This is exactly what she asked for, them being civil and able to exist together without the need to actually be friends. She should be happy, and yet she wasnโt.
โYN,โ Yasโ call of her name broke her daze, โWhere are you going?โ
โWhat do you mean?โ YN responded.
Yas pointed to the building next to her, a bookstore that YN had mentioned pretty much everyday on the trip so far, saying that she wanted to go and wanted uninterrupted time inside. She had been so distracted by watching Harvey and Harry in front that she hadnโt even noticed theyโd walked past it.
โYou just glazed past it,โ Yas responds, making her way towards the door, โI was ready to check for signs of life.โ
YN huffs out a laugh, โStill breathing.โ
โCome on,โ Yasmin links her arm with YN, โThe boys will find us later.โ
YN just hums. The second she walks into the bookstore sheโs immediately at ease. It looks more like a library than a bookstore, and those were YNโs favourites. They just held so much life, and so much character in their walls that she doesnโt understand how anybody couldnโt be at peace there.
By the time sheโs walked down four isles, she already has three books in her hands. A few Italian authorโs that sheโd always wanted to read and a hardback copy of one of her favourite books. At some point sheโd lost Yas, but she didnโt care.
โThought weโd find you in here,โ YN heard Harvey say from a few isles over, she couldnโt see him though, โWhereโs YN?โ
โI have lost her,โ Yasmin responds, โIt was somewhere around the historical fiction.โ
Then she hears a laugh, one that she could recognise a mile away. After placing another two books, contemporary romances of course, on top of her pile so goes to find where they are. She appears at the end of the isle, books in hand and a silly smile on her face.
โThis is what happens when we leave you unsupervised,โ Harvey jokes, pointing at the growing pile of books in her hands.
โI havenโt the faintest clue what you mean,โ YN responds.
โHey, pass them here,โ Harry holds his hands out. Itโs the first time heโs spoken to her all day, and sheโs slightly taken aback.
โWhat?โ
โIโll carry them,โ he responds, โSo you can carry on looking.โ
YN hesitates for a moment, but then decides to pass the books to him.
โIf youโre alright supervising, H, weโll go to the cafรฉ down the street with everyone for a coffee,โ Harvey offers.
โYeah of course.โ
Thereโs a slight hesitation in his voice, but it doesnโt last long. They watch as Yas and Harvey make their way out of the bookstore, hand in hand.
โYou can go with them if you want,โ YN responds, her voice light, โHeโs only joking about the supervising thing.โ
โItโs okay,โ Harry shrugs, โAnd also, we both know that youโre too stubborn to admit youโll need a basket and end up not being able to carry them.โ
YN falls silent, but a sly smile crosses her features because he wasnโt wrong โ but sheโd never admit that.
โI havenโt the slightest clue what you mean.โ
โHmm,โ he barks out a laugh, โI distinctly remember you shouting me like a lost puppy in Tesco once because you were juggling too many cans and nearly threw them all over the floor.โ
โYeah, but come on that wouldโve been disastrous,โ YN retorts, โTinned tomatoes and tuna? Awful mix.โ
He laughs, and for the first time this whole trip YN isnโt stressed in his presence. Even though her reaction yesterday was probably slightly too emotional and over the top, it seemingly hadnโt effecting him too much and she was happy about that.
She ended up with six books, and whilst she had no idea how she was going to get them home in her suitcase, she had received a free tote bag alongside her purchase so the entire thing felt like the best deal sheโd had in a long time.
โWhere are they all?โ Sheโd ask as theyโd stepped outside, the heat hitting her in the face straight away.
โTheyโre at the end of the street,โ he pointed, โHarv found a cafรฉ that he was adamant Yas would love.โ
They walked side by side and even though YN felt like she should apologise for the night before, she just couldnโt bring herself to do it just yet.
The rest of the group had spread across the tables outside, coffees and small nibbles in front of them. YN had dropped down in one of the empty seats, immediately clutching her bags of books to her chest, not wanting to loose them or someone to steal them.
โWhat do you want?โ Harry asked, his hand hovering over her shoulder, close enough that she could feel it but he wasnโt touching her.
โIโm okay, Iโll go in a minute.โ
Harry shrugged, โI can get itโฆ iced latte?โ
โYes please,โ YN nodded.
She didnโt think anything of the interaction, but once her gaze settled back at the table Yas was staring directly at her. Yas raised one of eyebrows, and YN just furrowed hers in return. Then YN received a look that could only be translated to they would be talking about this later.
Harry came back a few minutes later, balancing their coffees and a few plates on a tray. YN immediately furrowed her eyebrows once more when he placed a plate of bruschetta in front of her.
โYou need to eat,โ He just shrugged.
YN was completely flummoxed, โThank you.โ
โNo problem,โ He dropped down in the seat across from her, โI actually did it for purely selfish reasonsโฆ because we both know what youโll be like after wine tasting later if you donโt eat something now.โ
YN laughed, because he was right. YN tended to get a little enthusiastic whenever wine was involved, and drinking lots of it on an empty stomach probably wasnโt the best idea.
Even though theyโd aired out a lot of stuff last night, and Harry seemed to be a bit hesitant around her still โ he was looking out for her. Itโs why sheโd always struggled to be angry at him for long. Holding a grudge on a man who had put her through one of the hardest times of her life, but was also still one of the most caring and considerate men sheโd ever met was hard.
She hoped that they could carry on like this, with the small conversations and comfortable silences โ otherwise she hadnโt the slightest clue about what would happen towards the end of the week.
Harry was confused.
Last night had been awful, heโd spent all night replaying YNโs words. That she didnโt want him in her life anymore pretty much, or at least thatโs what heโd translated them as.
But then today, sheโd been completely fine with him.
He felt as though his heart was being dragged back and forth more than he could compute. He had tested the waters in the bookstore and it had landed, so he had done it at the cafรฉ as well. YN had seemed completely fine with all of it, which was confusing him.
He didnโt want to overstep, so he decided he would take it slowly, a step at a time. He wasnโt going to push anything, he would just leave it.
That was until they arrived at the vineyard. It was small and intimate, a couple of miles away from the villa with nothing but rolling hills around it. The second he saw it he understood why Yas and Harvey wanted to come here.
The owner, Antonio, had greeted them on arrival and had given them a tour of the barn and some of the vines before taking them to the patio where a table had been set up for the tasting. Everyone took their seats and Harry hadnโt thought anything of it. That was until the chair next to him was pulled out and YN sat down in it. He tried to ignore the way his heart seemingly skipped a beat when her sweet and floral scent hit his nostrils.
The second he saw her come down the stairs in the villa this morning, he had to remind himself constantly that he couldnโt stare. She was dressed in a long white skirt that went down to her ankles, and a white and yellow gingham top. She looked, in a word, gorgeous. She hadnโt glammed herself up in the same way that some of the other bridesmaids had, but that didnโt matter, not to him.
โSo,โ Antonio started from where he was standing at the end of the table, โWe try to keep things interesting here, between the courses. Have you all heard of twenty questions?โ
There are murmurs of yes from the majority of the table, a few of them happy and a few of them unsure.
โPerfect!โ He clapped his hands, โWell, we use it as a sort of ice-breaker, for you and for me. After each glass I will ask you all a question, and the slightly more tipsy you become, the more interesting they will get.โ
โThat sounds dangerous!โ Harvey calls out from across the table, โYou do know weโre supposed to be getting married in a few days, Antonio?โ
Antonio just tuts, โI promise we will not be breaking up any marriagesโฆโ
A chorus of laughs spreads around the group. Harry can hear YN giggling at the side of him, and finds himself smiling too. After a few days of her really not being herself, he couldnโt lie and say that he wasnโt enjoying the fact that she seemed more like the YN everybody knew.
The first wine they tasted was a white, and it went down well among the group. Especially YN, who had followed Antonioโs instructions but taken a little more than a small sip. Harry just smiled into his glass.
โThe first question is to describe each other in one word,โ Antonio reads from a small piece of paper heโd plucked out, โWeโll start with the bride and groom.โ
Harry watched as Yasโ eyes widened like a deer in headlights, obviously not prepared to have to answer the question first. Harvey looked at her, shock laced over his features when he noticed the expression on her face.
โIs it that difficult?โ
โNo, no,โ Yasmin immediately shakes her head, โIt just caught me off guard.โ
A laugh rolls around the table, before Ryan calls out, โExactly what you want to hear from your bride-to-be.โ
โIโm sorry!โ Yas puts her hands on her cheeks, โI donโt like being put on the spot!โ
โI know, I know,โ Harvey rubs a hand over her shoulders, โIโll go firstโฆ I would describe Yas as kind-hearted.โ
Thereโs a chorus of aweโs around the table, YN included. He was right. Yas was one of the most kind people sheโd ever met. Sheโd do anything for anyone, and so would Harvey. Itโs just another reason theyโre such a good match.
โThatโs two words,โ YN jokes from the side of Harry, causing Harvey to roll his eyes.
โItโs hyphenated,โ Harvey deadpans.
โI think itโs sweet,โ Yas places a kiss to his cheek, โI would have to sayโฆ generous.โ
โVery good, see! No breaking of relationships here!โ He exclaims, โOkay, who is next? Ah! You two! You look like a lovely couple.โ
Harry must have looked like a deer in headlights. He hadnโt really been paying that much attention, but when Antonio moved so he was standing across the table, directly in front of YN and Harry he found himself back in the room.
โOh weโre notโโ
โWeโre not aโโ
Harry and YN spoke at the same time. But then they were interrupted.
โNo go on,โ It was Harvey, leaning back in his chair with a shit-eating grin on his face, โWe all want to hear.โ
If looks could kill, Harvey would be dead. From both YN and Harry it seemed.
โStop teasing them,โ Yas swatted Harvey on the chest.
โIโm not,โ He shrugged, โI just want to make sure that no hyphenated words are used, as according to YN they donโt count.โ
โIโll get you back for this,โ YN warns.
โGo on, YN, weโre all waiting.โ
Harry turns slightly, watching as YNโs lips part slightly, as though the cogs are turning to try and figure out what she could say.
Then she says, โSelfless.โ
It knocks Harry for six. He hadnโt quite expected that, especially after the conversation last night, where she made it completely obvious that heโd not only upset her, but made her feel like sheโd been dragged along.
He was starting to realise that figuring what was going on in YNโs head was a task that no one could conquer.
He then realised that everyone was waiting for him, so he said, โDetermined.โ
โHow lovely!โ Antonio clapped his hands together, โEveryone is being so nice to each otherโฆ thatโs what happens when we do this question first!โ
A chorus of laughs falls around the table, but he notices that YN doesnโt. Instead, sheโs staring at him. Antonio moves on to the next two, but all Harryโs attention is on YN.
โWe better be careful,โ She speaks lowly, โPeople might actually think we like each other.โ
Harry, with no hesitation, turns to her and says, so only she can hear, โI do like you.โ
Harry immediately regrets saying it. Especially from the way that YNโs face drops the second that he says it. Neither of them says anything else, and Harry turns his attention back to the group. From the outside, it looks like heโs paying attention and listening to what is being said โ but he isnโt.
Instead heโd spent the rest of the wine tasting sipping on wine and thinking why heโd said that. YN hadnโt shied away from him at all today, and all he could think was that heโd ruined it all by saying that. Every so often their eyes would meet, and YN would immediately look away. He really hadnโt meant to do that, and yet he just hadnโt been able to stop himself.
He noticed that the sips that YN had been taking of the wine had gotten longer and longer, so when YN stood up from her chair there was a slight sway to her movements. Harry held his hand out, resting on her back slightly to steady her. YN turned to look at him, her eyes wide. He could feel the heat of her skin through the light material of her top, and he tried not to let it take over everything in his head.
โThank you.โ
โNo problem,โ He shrugs, watching as she finally balances and starts to follow the rest of the group towards the exit of the villa.
Sighing, Harry shook himself off and put one foot in front of the other to follow the rest of the group. He noticed Yas waiting for him, lingering behind everyone with her arms crossed over her chest.
โCan I help you Yasmin?โ He asks, falling into step at the side of her.
โWhat was that?โ
โA wine tasting, Yasmin, cโmon keep up,โ Harry responds, ignoring her true meaning behind the question.
โYou know what I mean,โ Yasmin responds, โJustโฆ be careful with her, okay?โ
Harry sighs, โI have no intention of not being.โ
That was true. He wanted to be careful with her, he really did. But it was hard when everything he said he felt like he wasnโt thinking before he spoke. But on the other side, he felt like all he did was think. Heโd been thinking so much recently, mainly about everything that heโd done in the past.
Heโd been going back through everything, trying to pinpoint everything that heโd done since knowing YN that could have made her feel this way. The problem was, he knew exactly the event that had done it โ and heโd tried to keep it buried down all these years, but he just hadnโt realised how much of a problem it had become.
๐๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ฒ, ๐๐๐๐
YN had been living with Harry for about a week.
It felt weird. They had managed, somehow, to fit all of her boxes in Harryโs car, as well as two suitcases full of everything she would need for a few weeks. YN had tried to convince Harry that she could get a storage unit for the boxes, but he had insisted no. So, her many, many, many boxes have ended up piled in his garage, taking up more of the empty space in there than she had anticipated.
Walking into Harryโs house, the building which he called his home to stay for the foreseeable future because otherwise she would be homeless โ definitely wasnโt something on YNโs bucket list. In fact, it was a thought that had never even crossed her mind until a day ago.
โIโve set you up in the spare room,โ Harry had explained, taking her suitcases from her and making his way towards the stairs.
โI can carry that,โ YN had said, a slight hesitation in her voice.
โI know you can,โ He starts making his way up the stairs, making the two heavy bags look effortless as he climbed, โSo can I.โ
โItโs heavy,โ YN retorted, taking the stairs with just her tote bag over her shoulder, โI can grab one.โ
โCompared to the boxes of books, YN, this is nothing,โ YN couldnโt help the smile that crossed over her lips at the memory of him nearly falling down the stairs.
As she followed him into the guest rooms, it all but hit her in the face just how crazy this entire thing was. Not only was she moving to London to start her new job which was scary enough, the fact that she didnโt even have a permanent place to live, and this was just temporary.
This was only temporary. A few weeks at the most. Just until she found somewhere of her own.
But she still had to make it through those few weeks first, and it seemed she would be doing it in the comfort of this spare room. It was light and airy, with what looked like fresh bedding and a space cleaned within an inch of its life. Two towels were folded on the end of the bed, a phone charger rested on the bedside table and a few bottles of water resting on the dresser.
โYou didnโt have to do all this,โ YN had said, standing in the middle of the room.
โWhat?โ Harry laughed, โChange the sheets? I think thatโs the least I couldโve done.โ
โI meanโฆโ YN moved from side to side on her feet, โMake this space for meโฆ I wouldโve been fine on the sofa.โ
Harry shook his head, โYou needed somewhere to sayโฆ and after one night on the sofa youโd be wishing for this bed.โ
YN dropped down so she was sitting on the end of the bed, โYouโll regret saying that when my things start appearing everywhere.โ
Harry shrugged, โIโll take the risk.โ
โAt least,โ YN sighed, motioning around the room, โLet me pay you rent or something, I feel so bad just staying here for free.โ
โIโm not taking rent from you.โ
The words felt final, so final that YN hadnโt known what to say. So, sheโd ended up parting her lips then closing them, looking at him with her eyebrows furrowed.
โHarryโโ She sighed.
โJustโฆ buy milk occasionally, and weโll call it even.โ
YN couldnโt help the teasing smile that crossed her lips, โMoo or alternative?โ
Harry rolled his eyes but he was also smiling, โYouโre so funny.โ
โThank you,โ YN shrugged, โI try really hard.โ
As much as it wouldโve hated her to admit it, Harry was right. The bed in the spare room felt like a cloud. It was nothing like the one in her student accommodation, it seemed to surround her and mould to her body and it felt that good that she was scared to find out how much it had cost. Despite how comfortable she was, sleep hadnโt been easy. It was partly because she was starting her new job the next morning, and the other part of it was because she knew that Harry was sleeping just down the corridor from her.
She spent all night feeling like she was going to throw up, and she didnโt think that was the jobโs fault. It was because sheโd temporarily signed herself up for sharing a house with a man she hadnโt been able to stop thinking about.
When the clock hit half past six, she decided that she might as well start getting ready. Work didnโt start until nine, but at least she knew she could take her time and didnโt have to rush. Sheโd showered, shaved, curled her hair, dressed in what she was calling her boss-ass-bitch wide-legged dark navy suit (but without the jacket because it was way too hot), she had made her way downstairs.
It was half-past seven, and she was shocked to see that Harry was already in the kitchen. She tried not to make it obvious the way she was drinking him in, the exposed muscles of his back moving as he made coffee, his shorts low on his hips leaving practically nothing to YNโs imagination.
โHey,โ YN spoke from across the breakfast bar at him.
โYouโre awake,โ He turned around, his eyes dancing up and down her outfit, โCoffee?โ
โYes please,โ YN dropped down at the breakfast bar, hands resting on her forehead.
โHow did you sleep?โ he asked, filling YNโs glass with oat milk, and she tried to ignore the way her heart pulled at the fact he remembered.
โGood,โ she lied, turning her attention to anything that wasnโt his back, or his arms or him.
โNo you didnโt.โ
YN sighed, wincing slightly as he placed the freshly prepared coffee down in front of her, โNo I didnโt.โ
โThatโs alright,โ Harry stood with his hands on the counter in front of her, โNothing that a good breakfast wonโt fixโฆ what do you want?โ
โIโm not hungry,โ YN shook her head, trying to ignore the way that her stomach lurched when she took a sip of the coffee and realised heโd made it just the way she liked.
โYou will be in forty minutes,โ Harry countered, โCโmon.โ
โSounds like a future YN problem to me,โ She shrugged.
โPresent Harry is making granola and fruit, so Iโd eat it if I were you.โ
As much as she hated to admit it, it was nice. It was nice having Harry there, someone to take her mind off the nerves rolling around her body. If she was alone there was no doubt in her mind that sheโd be in a corner somewhere, rocking back and forth and completely unable to form a coherent thought.
By the time she was getting ready to leave, Harry had gotten dressed for the day. As much as she missed the distraction of his bare chest, it was probably not the best thing to have in her mind all day starting her new job.
As she got her stuff ready to leave, Harry appeared in front of her. He brushed some of her hair from her shoulder that had been trapped underneath her tote bag.
โYouโre going to be brilliant.โ
YN attempted to laugh the compliment off, โI think youโre legally required to say that, seeing as though Iโm living in your house.โ
โNo,โ he shook his head, โIโm honest. Iโd tell you if I thought you were going to be terrible.โ
It had gone, in a word, perfectly. Everyone had been so kind to her, and just as excited for her to start as she was. They hadnโt thrown her straight into the deep end, which sheโd been terrified of, and a training plan had been created to make sure that she knew exactly what she had to do.
YN arrived home that night practically buzzing. Harry is laid on the couch, feet extending in front of him watching something on the TV. YN all but threw herself onto the sofa beside him, knees tucked tightly underneath her, cushions bouncing beneath her.
โIt was good then?โ
โIt was so good!โ YN beamed a smile at him, โAnd I know that it was only my first day and everyone was probably on their best behaviour to not scare me but I really enjoyed myself?โ
โAnd your manager? They were alright?โ
โYeah, he was lovely,โ YN nodded, โEveryone was really helpful.โ
He kept asking her questions, and she kept answering. All about what she did and what she was going to have to do, what she ate for lunch, what she was most excited for. At some point, the conversation had moved to the kitchen, and YN had been ordered to sit on the counter whilst Harry cooked for them.
โI can help.โ
โNope,โ Harry had retorted with a shake of his head, โYouโve got one job todayโฆ chief taster.โ
Every so often Harry would turn with a spoon or forkful of what he was cooking, hand underneath as if not to spill it and move it towards YN. She happily tasted all of it, humming in agreement when her tastebuds spiked from how good it was.
โAt least let me wash up,โ YN demanded after finishing her food.
โFine,โ Harry finally gave in, โBut Iโm drying.โ
So, with full bellies the two of them worked side by side in the kitchen, YN washing all of the pots and pans and Harry drying them before putting them away. It was something that she could get used to, but she had to wash that thought out straight away.
It was only temporary.
It didnโt feel temporary though. It took them a few days at most to establish a routine, for both of them to know each otherโs schedules inside out. She knew that Harry was always up early to go for a run, and would have her coffee ready for when she came downstairs. He knew that after work she usually needed at least an hour of phone time just to come around from the day, and he didnโt seem to mind that.
He starts leaving her notes, asking her to pick things up after work if he has to leave early or he knows heโs going to be late, and vice versa. They fall into a harmony that can only really be found when youโre truly comfortable with a person, and thatโs what YN was. She was comfortable with Harry, as much as it hurt her heart to admit it.
Soon enough, the house started to look like she lived there too. At first sheโd tried to keep everything to her room, but then sheโd given up. Her coats and jackets filled up the hangers by the door, her shoes kicked off in all different directions below them. Her books seem to just magically appear in every room of the house, as though they follow wherever she goes. Harry finds spare hair ties constantly, on every flat surface possible. Her laptop charger lives next to the dining table, where he often finds her tapping on the keys after work.
The biggest thing for the both of them is the blanket that now lives draped over the back of the sofa. Itโs a light brown colour, and it has been with YN throughout all of uni. It was the softest blanket sheโd ever felt, and it had somehow replaced the slightly less-soft one that Harry used and due to its massive size, they both curled underneath it on a night.
It had happened most nights, the two of them curled underneath the blanket. Even though July was warm during the day, the temperature cooled at night and YN felt the cold more often than not, causing her to be curled underneath once the clock struck eight.
On the first night Harry had joined her underneath the blanket, she hadnโt really thought anything when their legs touched. The next night, her feet ended up resting on his leg. By the weekend, YNโs head rested on his shoulder halfway through the movie they were watching, sleep catching up with her quickly from the full week of work sheโd done.
Neither of them mentioned how close they were, or how relax they were in each otherโs presence. Instead, they just stayed there, close to each other.
Late one evening, YN had ended up falling asleep on his shoulder, and didnโt wake up until the credits were rolling and Harry turned off the TV.
โWhy didnโt you wake me?โ She sleepily asked.
โYou looked comfortable,โ He shrugged, โAnd you were snoring.โ
โI probably drooled all over you.โ
โOnly a little.โ
YN sleepily swatted his arm, pretending to be offended. Harry grabbed her wrist before she could do it again, slipping his hand into hers and helping to pull her up from the sofa.
โCโmon,โ he made sure the blanket was still tightly wrapped around her, โTo bed with you.โ
The more that YN realised she was comfortable, probably more than she should be, the more she found herself struggling with the flat search. She had been looking since she first arrived at Harryโs, but none of them had been right. They were either too expensive, or too far from work, or in a bad area that Harry had shut down immediately.
โNo.โ
โWhatโs wrong with it?โ YN had questioned, seemingly happy with everything she saw on the listing.
โIt looks like thereโs damp on the windows and I donโt trust it.โ
โYou canโt tell that from pictures, Harry.โ
โI can,โ He had nodded, โNo.โ
โYouโre impossible,โ She groaned, โIโve got to find somewhere to live.โ
โI told you,โ he retorted, โYou can stay here until you find something, YN. But youโre not living in a shit-hole. Harvey would never forgive me.โ
It was a Sunday when she found the perfect flat.
It was a little on the small side, but perfect for her. It was a twenty minute commute on the tube from work, within her budget, safe and available quickly. Without telling Harry she organised a viewing after work, and completely fell in love with it. She could imagine where sheโd put her furniture and her books, where her favourite place to read would be.
But, no matter how happy she was at finding the flat, she was sad that she would have to leave Harry.
The confirmation email that sheโd got it came three days after she applied, and she was over the moon. It had arrived whilst she was at work, and the only person that she wanted to tell was Harry.
Heโs in his office when she gets home, laptop open in front of him. She knocks on the door and tries to ignore the lurch in her heart when he beams a smile at her.
โHey,โ He leaned back in his chair, โHow are you? How was work?โ
โGood, yeah,โ She nods, dropping down on the sofa heโd got in his office, โIโve, uh, got some news?โ
โAre you telling me or asking me?โ He asked with a quirk of his lips.
โTelling.โ
โOkayโฆ what is it?โ
โI got the flat.โ
YN watched as the smile on Harryโs falters just a smidge, just behind his eyes. It wasnโt obvious but she saw it straight away.
โYou did?โ
โYeah,โ she nodded, a small smile crossing her lips, โThey emailed me this afternoon.โ
โThatโs brilliant.โ
YN hesitated for a second, โYeah it is.โ
YN doesnโt get the keys for another week, so she ends up delaying packing for as long as she physically can. It ends up being the Saturday before she gets the keys that she goes around Harryโs house and collects all of her belongings.
โNeed any help?โ
โI think I can manage two cases,โ YN spoke from her spot on the floor, surrounded by all of her belongings.
โWe both know theyโre too heavy for you.โ
โNo theyโre not!โ
YN watches as Harry just laughs, arms crossed over his chest as he leans against the doorway.
โHow long do you think youโre going to be?โ He asks, eyes not leaving hers.
โHmm,โ YN hummed as she looked at the mess around her, โNot too long, just need to fold everything upโฆ why?โ
โThought we could celebrate,โ He shrugged, โOrder a pizza, open a bottle of wineโฆ only if you want to.โ
A smile breaks out over YNโs features, โIโd love that.โ
It was one of the warmer evenings that London had seen so far this summer, so they decided to eat outside, sprawled across Harryโs patio furniture with too much food and wine for the two of them on the table.
Whilst YN was excited to move, nerves were bubbling in the pit of her stomach. Sheโd gotten so used to living with Harry now that uprooting it could possible spiral her, and much as she didnโt want it to. But, the second sheโd finished her first glass of wine her nerves had started to disappear.
โYouโre going to have to feed yourself again.โ
โHey!โ YN whined, โI tried to help but you never let me.โ
โBecause I didnโt want my kitchen to burn down!โ
โI fed myself for three years without any fires, Harry!โ
The later it falls into the evening, the emptier the bottle of wine becomes. Then it empties. It only takes a few minutes or so for Harry to pop inside and return with another bottle and YNโs blanket that she hadnโt packed yet. He tosses it to her, and although the air is still warm the breeze was causing a slight chill to roll through her.
As the night continued, Harry becomes more generous with his pours. The glasses overfilling with wine, their cheeks flushed and happy smiles on their faces.
โYou keep giving me more,โ YN comments when she notices the difference between hers and his.
โYouโre moving tomorrow,โ He retorts, leaning back in his chair, โYou deserve it.โ
โSounds like youโre trying to get rid of me,โ YN leant against her arm, glass in one hand.
Harryโs expression drops slightly, a seriousness evident in his features, โIโm not.โ
โNo?โ
โNo,โ He shrugs, โI told youโฆ you couldโve stayed as long as you needed, even if that was months.โ
A silence settled between them, and YN really thought about it. How nice it had been to wake up most days to Harry being there, or coming home to it. The fact that theyโd go shopping together, or heโd check what she wanted before he went on his own. Even just having someone to talk to when she got home, she wasnโt going to have that anymore.
โIt doesnโt quite feel real yet,โ YN admits, her fingers toying with her glass.
โWhat do you mean?โ
โThe flat, the job, all of it,โ She sighed, โI think because Iโve been so at ease here, I havenโt felt the full stress of what my life is going to be like now.โ
โIt doesnโt have to be,โ Harry shrugged, โItโs not like weโre never going to see each other again, you can come over whenever you want.โ
โYeah but youโre not gonna want that,โ YN sighs, โYouโre going to be jetting off across the world and you wonโt want your best friendโs little sister popping over for dinner.โ
โWho said so?โ
โHarry, cโmon,โ YN shrugs, โWe both know thatโs the truth.โ
โItโs not,โ He shakes his head, leaning forward slightly, โIf you decide next week that you hate it there and want to move back in you canโฆ doorโs always open for you.โ
โHarveyโs not here, Harry.โ
โI know he isnโt,โ Harry shrugs, โI havenโt seen his ugly mug in weeks, Iโm not doing or saying this because of Harvey, YN. Iโm saying this becauseโฆ well, maybe I donโt want you to go.โ
YN laughs, completely not believing a word that Harry said, โIโve signed my agreement.โ
โI know.โ
โThen why are you saying this?โ
Harry looked down at the glass in his hand nervously, โBecause maybe I like having you here, not because of something I owe to Harvey, but because of you, YN.โ
YN all but whispers, โYouโll enjoy having your space back.โ
โI had plenty of space before, yeah.โ He shrugged.
โExactly!โ
โDoesnโt mean I preferred it.โ
YN finally admits, โI donโt really want to leave, either.โ
โThen donโt.โ
The words are simple, and final and they hit YN directly in the chest.
โItโs not that simple.โ
โWhy not?โ Harry shrugs, โYou donโt want to go, I donโt want you to goโฆ donโt go.โ
โThis isnโt mine Harry, this isnโt my hours itโs yours.โ
โBut youโve made yourself at home here,โ He retorts, โThat must mean something.โ
โI think thatโs the problem.โ
Harry had been sitting on the other side of the sofa to her, and in her distracted state she hadnโt noticed the fact that heโd moved forward, close enough that their fingertips almost touched along the backrest. Her fingers jolted slightly when she noticed his reach out, testing the waters. When she didnโt flinch away, he started to lightly dance his finger across the top of hers, sending a chill all the way down her spine.
YN gasps an intake of breath, even more so when she notices that his eyes are on hers, and werenโt moving away.
โI want you to stay, YN,โ he whispers, his finger moving to brush an escaped strand of her hair away from her face.
โI canโt.โ
The words come out broken, and completely unsure.
โOkayโฆโ he doesnโt move away from her, and instead moves closer, โTell me to stop.โ
โStop what?โ
โKissing you.โ
YN freezes, completely still. His finger moved to her cheek, until it danced down her chin, tilting her head upwards so she was looking at him. Her entire body felt hot, completely overwhelmed by the fact that he not only didnโt want her fo leave, but wanted to kiss her.
โIโฆโ Her throat feels completely dry, โI donโt want you to stop.โ
He hesitates once more, his thumb brushing along her bottom lip.
Then he does it. He leans forward and places his lips to hers. It starts gentle, as though theyโre both coming to terms with the fact that theyโre doing something that they donโt know if theyโre allowed to do.
Then itโs almost like a switch flicks, and they both realise that this is something that they can do. Harryโs hand rests against her cheek, keeping her close to him. Hers grips the front of his t-shirt, making sure that he canโt pull away. When he tries, she pulls him closer to her, causing him to smile against her lips.
When they finally pull away, Harry rests his forehead against hers. Both their chests are heaving, and their eyes are fluttered closed.
โHarryโฆโ
โI know,โ he mutters back, breathless.
โThis is a bad idea.โ
โProbably.โ
Finally, she hesitantly admits, โI donโt want to stop though.โ
โMe neither,โ he responds, pressing a light kiss to her lips, one that has her trailing after him.
โI leave tomorrow.โ
โI know,โ he responds, brushing her hair out of her face again, โWe can have tonight, though.โ
โYeah?โ
โYeah.โ
Then his lips are back on hers, with more force than the first time. Itโs almost as though he knows that this isnโt going to be forever so heโs savouring every moment. When his tongue brushes her lower lip, YN falters, her body falling backwards against the sofa, legs parting beneath her blanket to allow him to slip between them.
Her hand moved the expanse of him, from his jaw to his hair before they looped around his shoulders, pulling him closer to her. When his tongue slid against hers, YN whined against his lips but allowed him in, nothing but him swirling around in her head.
She couldnโt believe this was happening. After years of dreaming about it, thinking that it would never happen โ it was happening, and Harry had been the one to initiate it.
He lifted up slightly, dropping back down on the sofa, he lifted the blanket up, โCome sit.โ
YN all but scrambled on his lap, knees resting either side of his thighs. Harry secured the blanket around them, making sure she was still protected from the light breeze. His hands danced over her body from beneath the blanket, keeping his steady with a firm grip to her waist, just above her hip.
YN let her legs part a little wider, moving forward so she brushed against him, only lightly but enough that his fingers dug in to still her movements.
โWe donโt have toโฆโ he spoke, holding her still.
โI want to,โ she responded, attempting to roll her hips once more.
โFuckโฆโ
Harry dove straight back in, his lips landing against hers and his hips buckled forward to meet hers. Between the thin material of her leggings and his joggers, she could feel his hardening length against hers, causing her stomach to coil.
โWe can go upstairs,โ he mutters against her lips, fingers digging in to her hips once more.
โNo.โ
โNo?โ Harry pulls away from her, his eyebrows lifting and the corners of his lips turning upwards.
โToo far.โ
โI could even carry you, baby, wouldnโt have to walk.โ
YN contemplates it for a second, but then she threads her fingers in the curls at the nape of his neck and brings his head towards hers again, crashing their lips together. As much as she didnโt want to admit it, she didnโt want Harry to carry her. Sheโs sure heโs used to it from previous relationships heโs been in but she also knew that she was heavier than maybe the ones heโd been in before, and didnโt want to embarrass him.
There was also a part of her that was afraid heโd change his mind once he saw her. She didnโt know if sheโd be able to recover from that. The more that she ground against him though, feeling his hardening length against her clothed centre, the more that she realised that probably wasnโt going to be the case.
YN shuddered as Harryโs fingertips slipped beneath the material of her jumper, still resting on her waist but this time skin upon skin. They never stopped kissing, their lips attacking each otherโs with vigour. Harryโs fingertips danced up her skin, until they brushed the curve of her breast over her not-very supportive bralette.
โPull it up for me, baby,โ he spoke against her lips.
YN hesitated, but then grabbed the edge of her jumper, pulling it upwards so that her chest was exposed. Harry leant down to place a litter of kisses against her chest, above the black material of the bra. He moved downwards, his fingers cupping the underside of her boob.
โCan I?โ He mumbled, his chin resting on her chest as his fingers danced across the hem of her bralette.
โDo whatever you want, Harry,โ YN mumbled, leaning backwards and relishing in the feeling of his hands on her.
His eyebrow raised slightly, โAnything I want?โ
โWithin reason,โ YN mumbled back, but before she could come back with something else Harry had pulled her bralette down and wrapped his lips around her nipple. As he did, his hand massaged the soft flesh of the other breast, every so often rolling her nipple between his finger.
YNโs head tipped backwards, small pants leaving her lips as her stomach coiled and her hips rolled towards him as well.
โHarry,โ YN whined, her hips starting to move again and again, trying to give herself just the lightest piece of relief, โPlease.โ
โPlease, what baby?โ
โDo something.โ
โWhat do you want, baby?โ He asked, a teasing smirk crossing his lips as he did.
โFingers,โ YN responded, pulling his head up so she could kiss him again, โFingers, please.โ
Harry obeyed her wish, his fingers dancing down to the hem of her leggings. This feather-light touched moved underneath the waistband, over her stomach, and down towards where she needed him the most. His hand cupped her at first, allowing his palm to give her the slightest bit of relief as she ground against it.
โGonna get yourself off on my hand?โ He hummed, his lips dancing against her cheek, โBet you look so pretty when you come, baby.โ
YN gasped when his thumb started to circle her clit, the touch light at first but the repetitive movement made her wine. She was so wet, wet enough that when his pointer finger moved towards her opening it slipped inside without a struggle. YN started to move her hips to meet the thrusts of his hand, bringing herself closer and closer to the edge on his hand.
Harry coaxed her through it, watching every movement on her face as though he was trying to figure out what she liked. Every time he brushed against her clit, she shivered, so Harry made sure that with every thrust there was something rubbing against her clit for some relief.
It wasnโt long before her movements became sloppier, whilst his quickened in pace. Her fingers gripped the curls at the nape of his neck harder, as though she was attempting to ground herself and she teetered closer and closer to the edge.
โFuck, Harry,โ YN gasped out, her body beginning to shake, โIโm gonna come.โ
โCome for me, baby,โ He murmured against her cheek, pressing light kisses there, โIโve got you.โ
She did. It brushed over her entire body, feeling the pleasure through her body from the tips of her fingers to the tips of her toes, shuddering through her orgasm. By the time she had come down, she collapsed against him, panting as she tried to regain control of her limbs again.
โJesus Christ, Harry,โ YN laughed, her body shaking against his as she did.
โWhat?โ He responded, pretending to be completely numb.
She sighed, โOf course youโre good at that.โ
โWait until I taste you, baby,โ He responded, placing light kisses against her lips, โBet youโre so sweet, gonna eat you for hours.โ
โOne step at a time, Harry,โ YN mumbled against his lips, โAnd right now I want to go upstairs and I want you to fuck me.โ
โYeah?โ A boyish grin spread across her features.
โYeah.โ
Both of them had a pep in their step as they made their way upstairs.
๐๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ฒ, ๐๐๐๐
โThought I might find you out here.โ
It was later on in the evening when Harry found YN. Everyone had pretty much sobered up during in the afternoon, before they had started drink again in the evening. YN had been with Yas and some of the other bridesmaids during in dinner, so Harry didnโt feel like the best option was to go over to her, especially after what Yas said earlier.
When he saw YN slip away and move towards the pool, sitting on one of the loungers that overlooked the sea โ he decided that was his opportunity.
He dropped down on the lounger next to her, leaning back on his hands lightly as he did.
โNeeded a breather,โ YN shrugged, โSue me.โ
โNothing wrong with that,โ Harry retorted, his foot rolling some of the grass underneath his foot, โI justโฆ wanted to check youโre okay, after today?โ
โIโm okay.โ
โI justโฆ I just wanted to say that Iโm sorry for what I saidโฆ I know you said that we should be civil and Iโฆ I just didnโt do that.โ
โItโs fine, Harry,โ YN shrugged, โIโฆ think I was just too emotional when I spoke to you, and just went too far.โ
Harry didnโt believe that for one second. She was regretting it, yet again, and he didnโt want her to do that.
โNo, you were right,โ Harry nodded, โIโve been stringing you along for way too longโฆ and I just want to say Iโm sorry. Iโm sorry for the way I handled it, Iโm sorry for not explaining myself to you and Iโm sorry for stringing you along for so long.โ
YN was silent. She didnโt respond straight away and Harry started to panic. He turned and saw that tears were silently streaming down her face.
Harry leaned towards her slightly, โHey, no, please donโt cryโฆ too pretty to cry, baby.โ
YNโs breath hitched at the nickname, one that he hadnโt said in many years. She turned to him, her eyes glassy and her chest heaving slightly.
โCan I know why?โ
โWhy I did it?โ YN hums, breath shuddering again, โI wasโฆ I was scared. Iโฆ Harvey phoned me the evening after I dropped you off at the flat andโฆโ
โWhat did he say?โ YN immediately asks.
Harry sighs, running a hand over his face, โHeโฆ in so many words said that he knows what Iโm like, and he knew that you liked me andโฆ he said that heโd never forgive me if I hurt you.โ
โBut you did hurt me.โ
โI thinkโฆโ Harry started, sighing midway through his thought, โI think I thought if I ended it then I wouldnโt hurt you even more, that you could move on and forget me.โ
โWhy?โ YN shook her head, โWhy did you do that? Why didnโt you talk to meโฆ I mean, fucking hell, Harry you slept with me and then never messaged me back, never spoke to me again, ignored me unless we were with my brother!โ
โI know, Iโm sorry,โ Harry sighed, reaching out to grab her hand. YN pulled it away, โIโm so sorry, YN. I wasnโt thinkingโฆ I just thought, I thought it would be better for you. I mean, you were just starting your new life, and you were going to meet so many new people andโฆ I thought you didnโt need me.โ
โI did need you,โ YN responds, โI always needed you, I always wanted you, Harry. Iโฆ fuck,โ She cuts herself off with an exasperated laugh, โI still need you. I still want youโฆ I think youโre fucking it for me Harry and you practically ran away when we slept together.โ
โHey,โ Harry grabbed her hand again, and this time she let him, โHey, I need you too. I want you too. Iโve regretted it every day since and I just havenโt known how to apologise and tell you.โ
โWell,โ YN shrugged, โBetter late than never, I suppose.โ
โYN,โ Harry placed his fingers on her chin, turning her towards him, โLook at me.โ
She does, her eyes still glassy and tears still wet on her cheeks. Harry brushed them away lightly, drying her cheeks as he did.
He was so fucking sorry, so fucking sorry that heโd done this to her. That night was a night that haunted his every move, the way she had felt against him, the way they had fit so perfectly together, the way that her body had responded to his. Nothing had ever matched the way he had felt that night, but what scared him the most was the way he felt the next morning. The way he loved waking up to her next to him, laughing together and chatting about everything and nothing at the same time.
He was going to do it properly, take her on dates, surprise her with flowers โ woo her. He had been on his way to her flat when Harvey phoned him. Heโd seen a book on his way home that he thought sheโd like, and wanted to give it to her. Then Harvey had taken a knife and slashed it through his heart, dragging him out of his bliss and throwing him back into his reality.
His reality that he could never date someone like YN, someone who had so much of her life left to live and didnโt deserve to be dragged into the mess that was his life. So he hadnโt gone to her flat, heโd gone back home. When she messaged the next day, he ignored her. When she called, she didnโt call back.
It was the worst thing heโd ever done, and she had every right to be angry at him.
โIf I could go back in time, and change it I would,โ Harry nodded, continuing to brush his thumb across her cheek, โBut I canโt.โ
YN sniffled once more, โWas it me?โ
โNo,โ Harry shook his head, responding quickly to make sure she knew that he meant it, โIt was me, I was an idiot. I listened to someone else instead of myself and I fucked up.โ
โIโฆโ YN starts, โSo youโฆ didnโt regret it? You wanted toโฆ be with me?โ
โFuck, YN, I wanted everything,โ Harry admits, โI wanted anything youโd give meโฆ and I fucked it all up.โ
โYou did,โ YN nods, a small smile finally crossing her lips.
โI did,โ Harry smiled back, โButโฆ if youโll let me, I want to make it right. I want to prove to you that Iโฆ that I care about you because I donโt think I can live my life without you.โ
YN falls silent again, but Harry doesnโt panic this time. He doesnโt panic because he can still see the small smile dancing across her lips, and even more so behind her eyes.
โYouโre going to have to work at it.โ
โI know,โ Harry nods, fingers brushing against the back of her hand.
โIโm not going to make it easy.โ
Harry laughed, โI wouldnโt expect anything different.โ
โAnd you have to promise me, Harry, that you wonโt make any decisions about us without talking to me first,โ YN says, her voice stronger this time, โPromise me.โ
โI promise,โ He nodded, lifting her hand up to place a kiss to the back of her hand.
YN shuddered a breath once again, โI donโt think I believe you yet.โ
โIโll prove it to you, baby.โ
YN nodded, and after a second or so a smile broke out across her features.
โI donโt think I can forgive you just yet.โ
โThatโs okay, baby.โ
With a slightly sheepish look on her face, she turned to him, โButโฆ can you hold me.โ
โCโmere.โ
Harry opened his arms wide, making room for YN to move closer to him. She dropped down into his lap, sitting sideways on him so she could wrap her arms around his neck, her head resting on his shoulder. Harryโs hand rested on her exposed thigh, brushing lightly against the skin that was showing from the way her skirt was sitting.
โI donโt want to tell Harv or Yas yet,โ YN mumbled against his neck, โNot until we know what this isโฆ after the wedding.โ
โOkay, baby.โ
โSo weโve got to pretend we havenโt just had this conversation,โ YN lifts her head up now, looking directly at him, โWe have to go back to the way it was before.โ
โIโm not ignoring you though, baby, Iโm not doing that again.โ
โFine,โ YN gives in, โBut none of your love struck puppy looks, okay? And no touching. Youโll give us away.โ
โWhat about your looks hmm?โ He teased, knocking her shoulder lightly, โAnd we both know you canโt resist this.โ
โIโve resisted for five years, H, I think Iโll be fine.โ
He just shrugged, โIf you say so.โ
Harry didnโt know how long they stayed like that, with YN draped across him as they both listened to the waves crash against the shore from below.
But, it was the first time in a long time that he imagined that theyโd be okay. He still had work to do, but he could see the light at the end of the tunnel.
And heโd be damned if anything stopped him from getting there, from getting YN.












