louder than bombs

✴ erin rikards . 33 music teacher a hot f*cking mess ✴

[erinkards]

alextcte​:

♫ 

       Alex had a bad habit of saying things were okay, of consoling the other person, when they really weren’t. And in this instant, he wouldn’t tell her it was okay, because he was, admittedly, growing tired of the tone she always put on with him. Of how she treated him. For the most part, Alex hadn’t taken it personally, for he knew that he, too, could be annoying. He also saw the way she sometimes treated customers, and it was then he knew it wasn’t personal. Alex also knew there was more to Erin than she was letting on, and judging by the way she… did she just apologise?! Standing there, dumbfounded, his lips even parted in sheer shock over the fact that she’d just said words he’d never thought he’d hear from her mouth. “Did you just.. apologise to me?” The blond dared to tease, before pressing his lips together and adding, ”Thank you,” instead of his usual ‘it’s okay, it’s fine’. Because he wanted to start standing up for himself, even in a non confrontational manner, and also because he genuinely was thankful for her apology. This realisation should have come many years ago, in high school. Breathing a sigh, he moves to sit on a couch opposite her, knowing that she probably wouldn’t want him too near. “Everything okay with you, Erin? I know it can’t possibly be that crazy soccer mom that’s got you down.. but of course, if you don’t want to talk about it, no worries. ” 

                          A deep sigh left Erin before she could register what she had said, realization hitting when Alex had reminded her. She paused, the look of —...Oh shit, I did...— evident on her features. Erin didn’t know what to say, only looking up at him with the same look, eyes falling when he thanks her. She merely shrugs, more so due to her own apology not really meaning much... considering it was the least she could do, slouching against the wooden wall. It wasn’t until she heard the springs of that old couch that she realized Alex was actually staying, Erin looking up with curiosity. As much as Alex probably thought she hated him, she was sure he hated her more. In that moment, the brunette couldn’t help but reflect on all the awful ways she treated him. Eye rolls... snide comments about his nature, undermining him in front of customers. Hell, she hated her too... Erin couldn’t blame him. At his question, her brows knitted together, blue eyes staring off to the side of him. She chuckles humorlessly, sad even. “I mean, I don’t know what I’m—” shaking her head, Erin brings her hand to her temple, giving them a gentle rub before her hand runs through her hair. “You know that feeling of a jar or something... being filled to the brim, then it exploding because you put too much in?” Her eyes begin to sting, smiling vacantly as though it could hide them. “...I guess I kind of feel like that.” For a moment, Erin could feel herself beginning to break, and in an effort to avoid fall apart in front of someone who would probably not want to witness that, she snaps herself back in... inhaling deeply. “—Shit, sorry... I’m probably just tired. I didn’t get much sleep last night.” 

[erinkards]

arya-grey​:

lyric-campbell·:

—-

         𝐋𝐘𝐑𝐈𝐂 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃𝐍’𝐓 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇 –– though observe, was really the right word, hiding her nervous expression behind the long stem of her champagne glass. Her grandmother’s bracelet clinked against the glass, just the tiniest bit loose on her wrist. She debated for a moment, whether or not she should go over –– Erin and Arya seemed to be talking… and nothing was exploding. The universe wasn’t crumbling in on itself. In fact, no one but her, really, seemed to be paying them much mind, either too conscious of the champagne being passed around, or the delicious buffet that had opened up. This day, after all, wasn’t about the two of them. And maybe that was kismet. 

Her low heels were silent on the grass, sinking in only a little with each step over where the band was getting ready. She pressed her hair behind her ear before it could blow into her face, and in a few moments, she stood behind her former band members, a goofy smile on her face that she worked hard, to no avail, to erase. She managed to press it into something less intense ( something that wasn’t too likely to scare either of the women off ) and cocked an eyebrow. She joked, ❝ Are we having a reunion or something? Should I be feeling left out? ❞ Having caught the tail end of Erin’s remark, Lyric perked up. ❝ She does play there! I managed to snag a listen a few times and she’s majorly underselling herself, Arya. ❞

          Arya should have known that Lyric would make an appearance the second she’d caught sight of the two of them actually getting along. It was definitely a rarity and their friend wasn’t the only person surprised by the event, but the pressure was definitely on the second she’d stepped into the conversation. “No, no. We were just setting up and got chatting about music. No need to feel left out.” With an awkward chuckle, Arya took a step back, allowing her eyes to travel around the stage. She would much rather listen to the two of them talk, than have Lyric make a bigger deal out of this interaction.

          “Oh really? I swing by sometimes and listen, but I’ve never seen you. Maybe I’ll have to stick around longer next time and see for myself.” Arya couldn’t help but feel a ping of jealousy. Not because Erin was playing at the The Hideout, but because she had been playing in general. There was nothing Arya wanted more than to tune back into her musical side and the fact that Erin was still going strong made her feel even more pathetic. “I’m surprised the two of you never did anything together musically. You know, after Flush.”

                      Reunion... the word felt a lot heavier than it needed to be, the idea of that actually happening making Erin anxious. It wasn’t that she didn’t miss Flush... in fact, she day dreamed about it... more often than she’d like to admit. It was just... too hard. Flush reminded her of so many wonderful things, but it had been so long since she could recall them without feeling guilt, it was almost impossible to look back on her life without it. The girls on the other hand, seemed enthused. Perhaps... they had forgotten why they fell apart or maybe they moved on, but Erin didn’t— she couldn’t. The feeling left a bitter taste in her mouth, her palms a bit shaky now that she couldn’t exactly leave the conversation like she normally would when anxious. You’re trying to change, aren’t you? Reminding her self of what little effort she could muster, Erin did her best to go against her flight response. You can do it.

Erin remained silent as the two spoke for a few beats, but inhaled sharply at the mention of her performing at The Hideout. —Shit. There was a pang of regret bringing up her little shows at the café. Not that Erin didn’t want either of them to know... or Arya, really, but talking about this was a bit... overwhelming, to say the least. The brunette couldn’t exactly pin point why it was so hard talking to them about music... after all, Lyric and Arya were the best people to talk about this with... perhaps, it was just too difficult to do so without recalling the past. And oh... how hard Erin tried to run from that. “—Oh, uh... I mean, I don’t play there all the time. It’s just covers, really... nothing special. I mean, you guys were really the stars of the band, so... I guess I just use it as practice for my students.” She chuckles awkwardly, hands swaying at her sides. “Gotta show them I don’t just talk the talk, right?”  @lyric-campbell​

[erinkards]

oliviatcte​:

           With a million little things on her mind that evening, Olivia had found herself alone at Moonie’s for the second time that week. She didn’t know why she had taken to drinking alone, but there was something about the bar’s atmosphere that made her feel as though she wasn’t. The bartender’s were always warm and welcoming, and typically, the seats were full of familiar faces. Tonight, however, hadn’t been the pleasant experience Olivia had hoped for. Tonight she had been harassed by a drunken asshole, who quite obviously thought the world owed him a good lay. 

           As she hurried down the sidewalk and away from Moonie’s, Olivia could hear his footsteps behind her along with a number of disgusting taunts and teases he had been using on her for the past twenty minutes. As a private investigator, she had been trained in self-defence and was often capable of handling herself in these types of situations, but that didn’t lessen the anxiety in the pit of her stomach. That is until she spotted the brunette a little less than a block away and quickly ran to catch up to her. “Please, please pretend to be my friend. This creep followed me out of Moonie’s and if he doesn’t get to me before I reach my car, I’m worried he’ll go after you.” 

                      Twisting her brows, Erin sighs seeing a ‘sold’ notification on the equipment she was eying. Can’t catch a damn break... Shaking her head, the brunette brings her phone down to her side, intending to slip it into her back pocket. That is, until she hears the sudden quickening of steps coming towards her. Nearly jumping from shock, Erin begins to settle at the other’s words, blue eyes quickly jumping behind them to spot said ‘creep’. It wasn’t that Erin hadn’t ever been in a similar situation before, because she really hadn’t... but if there was one thing all women had in common, it was the fear of walking alone at night for this very reason. Chills went down her spine at the thought of something awful happening to either of them, ‘cus hell— whether or not Erin knew the girl, there was no way she’d let another woman be tomorrow’s headline... especially if she could prevent it. 

“—Shit,” she murmured, nodding in response. Immediately locking arms with her, Erin brings her phone out as some sort of ploy to get the creep to back off, despite not knowing whether or not it’d work. “—Hello? Babe?” she says loudly, being a little too on the nose. “Yeah, I’m down the street from Moonie’s with my girl here!” She nudges her, winking. “You’re just coming from the station? ...In your cop car? ...Don’t tell me you’ve got a gun on you!” Each sentence got louder, and if Erin wasn’t so absorbed in making sure the creep heard her, she’d be aware just how embarrassing she was. “No way!” she adds, turning to the girl, pulling the phone briefly from her ear. “He said he’s like five minutes away, but can’t stop to put away his cop stuff. Hope that’s okay with you!” 

[erinkards]

               It was a slow day at work... almost, too slow. Now, while Dusty’s wasn’t the hottest place in Mystic, it was hard to say the store was ever really *dead*. They had their regulars, along with couples trying to do that cringey record shop thing, and... of course, your typical music snob that would complain why Pink Floyd wasn’t up and center in the ‘Classic’s Showcase’. Although customers in general weren’t Erin’s exact cup of tea, helping someone was better than chewing gum behind the repair booth waiting for just about anyone to come in. Groaning, she turns to Stanley peacefully sleeping in his dog bed by her feet, thankful she —at least— had him for company. It was no wonder Arya didn’t need any more employees for this shift... it was dead as hell. In any case, Erin figured she could pass the time by taking a quick nap, but paused when she heard a faint sound towards the back of the store. “...Did you hear that, Stan?” she mostly said to herself, getting to her feet. Erin knew it was the white girl in her to go towards the sound, but she didn’t remember seeing anyone come in for the past hour. She had to check it out.  @matt-leland​​

[viktorhargreves]

[mikaeled]

Alexandra Daddario in Can You Keep a Secret? (2019)

[kyrieelyse]

[erinkards]

@kaanaydin

[erinkards]

aichasamossen​:

Speak when spoken to. The command flashed through Aicha’s mind as a voice sounded behind her, her fingers pausing over the smooth metal of her Macbook. Though she loved to bask in the gentle buzz of cafe’s patrons, very rarely did she find herself singled out. Eyes scanning her surroundings therefore, it wasn’t until she looked down at the plush couches littering the back of the café that she found the owner of the voice and by extension, the small dog. Vivid blue eyes met her warm brown and she immediately recognized the woman from her few trips to Dusty’s. With a smile, Aicha responded, “I can tell you’ve never had a pet. I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who referred to themselves as a pet person,” a chuckle escaped her lips then as she continued on. “Does this cutie have a name? I’m guessing he’s not yours.” 

                 Erin grinned at the woman’s response, knowing her very words were a tell sign that she, indeed, was not a pet person. She couldn’t help but chuckle at that, nodding in response. “I’ve never owned one,” she sighs, continuing to pay with the dog’s hair. “Never had the desire to...” Though, as she said that, Erin looks down at the dog who looked up at the same time. The idea was nice... after all, unconditional love was nice. At her follow up question, Erin raises a brow, looking down to take a gander at the collar around his neck. “—S... Stanley? Really Patrick...” she rolled her eyes, shaking her head, fully disappointed in her coworkers naming game. “It’s Stanley, apparently.”

[erinkards]

holdernick​:

Nick was never much one for pets. Like most millennial adults, he can barely take care of himself, let alone of another living creature. He didn’t mind looking at them, though, and can find one cute on his better days.

“Is Auntie Erin making you look like a dumbass?” Nick says, stooping down from his seat to face the pup, the straw of his drink bitten flat between his teeth. “Steal him away, then. Dognapping isn’t a criminal offense, is it?”

                  Erin’s gaze immediately darts in Nick’s direction, her blue hues narrowing in response. “First of all, I am never going to be anyone’s aunt... Secondly, the moment I say this lil thing is cute, you’re promoting thievery?” Her head tilts, leaning back comfortably as she looks down at him. “You know, one would think this behavior is a cry for help, Nick. I mean... I get it, you’re a kid of politics... they have all the problems, don’t they? I get it.”

[erinkards]

carolina-romero​:

          𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐀 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐊𝐄𝐃 𝐔𝐏 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐋𝐘 scrolling through Instagram for anything of note. Aside from the rogue funny tiktok, or an update from a particularly hot influencer she was following, nothing much was piquing her interest. She went back and forth between the app and Pinterest, pinning ideas for halloween and outfit inspiration as she went. Glancing over at Erin, she let her head fall back against the high back of the one-seater couch-chair she was lounging on and warmly regarded the pup. 

❝ He is kinda cute… I don’t really like furry pets that much but he’s not that bad. Seems kind of quiet. Maybe you should feet him a treat or something? Are dogs supposed to be that quiet? ❞

               Erin’s brows perked at Carolina’s question, looking down to assess the dog’s state. Were dogs supposed to be this quiet? Eying him carefully, the brunette briefly recalls Patrick telling her he was, remembering it was mostly due to age and just ‘being done with everyones shit’. Even so, Erin nods with faux confidence, shaking her head up and down. “He’s just old,” she waves her hand, crossing her legs. “You know how old people are... —Anyway, did you just say you don’t like furry pets? ...Please don’t tell me you’re into those hairless cats.”

[erinkards]

rimacbardot​:

†

Though she had been back for three weeks, Rima was still in the process of getting reacquainted to being back home. Mystic. It was hard to believe that she was here now; somewhat unfathomable because despite all of her travels to various Elsewhere’s, she had become accustomed to the lack of intimate familiarity that a true household actually supplied. Unsurprisingly it was somewhat jarring waking up to her father’s infamous french toast breakfasts or being able to take in his recognizable and unique scent; to see that Hailey’s Comet looked exactly as she remembered ( at one point it was a haven for a young girl often searching for adventures not only in her actual life but in the form of classic fiction tales ); to hear the older gossiping biddies still at it on various corners or street walkways as she made her way into The Hideout. All these years and so many things hadn’t changed. And yet, when she took the time to actually look around, so many things had: the loss of various townsfolk that had showed her nothing but genuine kindness; old businesses replaced with unfamiliar ones; new, young faces that had looked at her as if was a complete stranger to this very sleepy town that had molded her to the person she was today.

Even the people she had knew and some she had known in passing had changed drastically — which had been expected, it had been twelve years and still, taking it all in was simultaneously exigent and… bittersweet.

Walking into The Hideout was supposed to be a nice reprieve from these thoughts; the constant wonderings of what she recognized and what she didn’t. She’d passed it a couple of times throughout the last couple of weeks, asked about it and decided it would be one of the places that she would be interested in checking out. Good vibe, she thought to herself upon entering. After getting a simple hot chocolate, Rima was going to simply find a place to sit and enjoy the atmosphere as she collected her thoughts concerning various food drives and the like when she heard a very familiar voice. Immediately, she turned and her eyes lit up. Though they hadn’t been close, Rima was delighted to see yet another friendly face — even if Erin hadn’t been talking to her specifically. “You always were crotchety when it came to animals,” Rima replied as she made her way over, waiting for the other woman’s gaze to land on her to put two and two together, “It’s good to see you Erin.” A slight pause as Rima openly eyed the brunette sprawled on the couch up and down: “You look good.”

                      The presence of anyone that regularly attended House of Hosanna was purely frightening to Erin. Her family wasn’t religious in the slightest, and although she rarely had an opinion on church goers in general, it was hard for Erin to dismiss the memory of how the church reacted to her brother’s passing. They smother her family in comfort, in an almost self serving type of way. It was unsettling... and although Rima wasn’t involved in the act, she can’t help but think of them whenever she was around her. It was an unfair reputation, Erin realizes... and knows she can only offer so much as a polite response when Rima approaches her. “Oh, Rima!” Erin greets, a bit awkwardly. Giving the woman a once over, she remembers thinking that the person before seemed completely... not ‘churchy’ at all. Rima seemed cool... she held her head up high and didn’t seem like the self serving type at all. Still, Erin kept her boundaries with the woman... in an effort to protect her own sanity. “I didn’t know you were back in Mystic,” she added, sitting up straight as she proceeds to cradle the pup in her arms. In truth, Erin didn’t know a single thing about Rima. She heard she left... but that was about it. 

[erinkards]

ian-bright​:

Ian didn’t know why he had looked, and yet he had. Eyes drifting lazily towards the woman on the couch—moving further still to stare at the animal in her arms, as she would speak. A cup of apple cider all but forgotten as he sat there, watching. Starring was more like it, as words would fail to fall in response to what she had said. In truth, Ian hadn’t been certain as to why he’d gone into the café that day. A part of him knowing exactly what—or rather who had prompted such an excursion, and yet the boy couldn’t admit it to himself. He had a little crush. Yet in the wake of this new spectacle, such thoughts would fall away. Gaze lingering up the sorry sight that was that dog. His matted fur. No, he had never been a pet person. His rock an example of that—once a joke of his siblings, and yet it had fit his life perfectly. Ian would remain silent then, not feeling the need or obligation to speak. He simply stared. Blinked silently as his hand would lift his cup to his lips. As he would drink.

               Talking to oneself was not really a thing Erin did until she was in her twenties. She supposed it came naturally, as most would rather turn the other cheek rather than indulge in whatever trash came out of her mouth. She never really took offense to it, thank g*d— as being ignored was frankly just a thing she was used to. In this case, however, Erin decided to spark a conversation with the guy in her vicinity... noting that he was rather... sitting there, just staring. Not at her, she realized.. that is, until she spoke, his attention now on the dog in her lap. After a few beats, and the tall tell sign that this dude was just not going to bite... Erin decided to throw in a follow up question. —Should I call the cops? She wondered, before opening her mouth again. “...You wanna pet him?” she rose a brow, tilting her head. “Or... I don’t know, say anything... being that I’m talking to you.”

[erinkards]

carolyn-render​:

Carolyn looked up from her coffee at the familiar voice, eyes quickly coming to rest upon the dog before any attempt at trying to figure out where she could place the other woman. The redhead knew she didn’t know her name, not had any true recollection of even speaking, and yet there she was with this strange feeling that she’d seen the other. Heard her speak. As Carolyn smiled at the dog, her thoughts would race—seeking to find that relief she knew would follow once she placed such a face. “I know a little girl that would be all over that little cutie,” she mused then, taking a sip from her coffee cup. Avery had always wanted a dog, ever since she was young—younger. That little girl utterly infatuated with the idea. With movies like Lady and Tramp—videos of puppies and cute ring barriers—the wedding! It clicked for Carolyn then, where she had seen the other woman, though she didn’t want to assume. “I’m sorry—I’m having a moment but, did you perform at the wedding? Jack and Rose’s I mean…”

           Erin’s brows rose at the woman’s response, blue eyes instinctively searching for this ‘little girl’. However, her gaze came to a halt at the next few words to come out of her mouth, the word ‘perform’ resonating with her the most. “Oh man, I guess I’m known as the wedding singer now...” she chuckled, rubbing the back of her neck. Erin didn’t mind so much... a musician was a musician, right? Even if it was singing at someone else’s wedding... even though she technically wasn’t the star of the show. “Adam Sandler... eat your heart out.” Shaking her head, Erin chuckles to herself, sitting up straight as she leans back with a small wave, the small pup sitting right next to her. “Yeah, that’s me,” she sighs, shrugging with a grin. “If you’re asking whether or not I can sing at your wedding...” she adds, thoughts running amuck. Well, a dollar was a dollar right? No matter how you earn it? “...We’re gonna have to talk about perks, ‘cus I am not just singing and leaving. A girl’s gotta eat too.”

[erinkards]

°  TASK FOUR // FEATURING… @oliviatcte , @kaanaydin , @lyric-campbell , @deanholdcr

Erin Rikards (Alexandra Daddario), currently works at Dusty’s Records as an employee and music teacher. Originally from West Hollywood, the girl always believed her path in life would lead to her name in lights, along with her twin brother, Austin. However, after his tragic passing on their 18th birthday, Erin’s life spiraled into the mess that is now… an adult in her 30s, struggling to stay afloat. 

  CURRENT & WANTED CONNECTIONS // PINTEREST

[kaanaydin]

erinkards​:

                         ‘But’ …the word alone could make your heart drop, couldn’t it? For Erin, there had only been one other time she had felt so low… but thinking about that now, well, it just wasn’t the time for that. She felt silly, sitting there with her hands gripping the sides of her chair, avoiding eye contact. For a moment, before that cursed word had come out of his mouth, Erin had thought the feelings were mutual. There was hope— a lightness of sorts that nearly had her floating. Finally, she nearly thought, basking in the idea that their friendship could be more. It was insane how fast all of that could drop in one instant. Before he could go on, the words ‘friend’ making her stomach churn, Kaan’s mother returns. “How’s it going you two?” she smiles. Erin frantically avoids eye contact with both of them, deciding in that moment she had to leave. Now. “—I-I’m sorry… Ms. Aydin,” she manages to get out, slowly gathering her belongings. “My dad actually just texted me and wants me to come home.” It was a blatant lie, one she knew Kaan wouldn’t believe. After all, between her confession and his rejection, when did she even have time to check her phone? Getting to her feet, Erin quickly shoves her notebook in her bag, carrying her laptop in one hand. “Thank you for everything,” she says quietly, exiting the kitchen, head low and eyes fixed on her next few steps. 

Kaan ignored his mother’s question and kept his eyes only at Erin. “Don’t go,” He pleaded. He moved closer to her, wanting to do something, anything… but he couldn’t. Everything was moving so quickly around him. His mind was a hundred steps ahead, but his body was frozen. Only a single thought echoed in his mind, “Is it better this way?” However, despite his state, Kaan couldn’t help but notice Erin’s facial expression and the way her voice sounded. He hurt her. He did the thing he was so afraid to do, but ended up doing it anyways. It was enough to snap himself out of the trans he put himself in. “Wait,” he said softly, reaching out towards where she once stood… but it was too late, she was gone and only the smell of her perfume lingered. 

Dropping to the floor, Kaan hid his face in his palm. It was always going to be this ending and he prepared himself… but why did it still hurt so much? Maybe he should have stopped her, but what would that change? He was still going to leave in a few weeks. It would never have worked out… right? While he drowned in his dispair, a comforting embrace wraped around him. Looking up from his hands, he saw his mother and remembered he had to be strong. He wiped away his tears and hugged her back. He didn’t know it then, but It would become a moment he’d regret the most and one he would never speak about.

END

[quadrantslando]

[doomedvoyages]

that part in lady bird when she asks her mom if she likes her and her mom says “of course I love you” and she says “yeah but do you like me” and her mom just looks at her and then says “i….just want you to be the best version of yourself that you can be” and lady bird says “what if this is the best version of myself?” And her mom just Looks at her like…..that went all too hard