“If you had the powers of a Superhero, whose powers would you have?”
We all know the question. We all have our answers. But the older I have got, the more I began to realise that, in reality, if I were to have a Superhero’s powers in this modern day and at MY age, it would be the Human Torch’s.
And believe it or not, the fire control and flight aspects of his power set is actually secondary to the main reason:
Too hot in the summer? No you’re not.
Too cold in the winter? Nope.
Your friends are too hot? You’re the AC now.
Your friends are too cold? You’re there to keep them warm.
Heatstroke? You’ll never suffer that.
Hypothermia? Not a chance.
Wait, what’s a sun burn again?
Burning your tongue on piping hot food? A thing of the past.
You can check to see if your food is done by climbing into the hot oven yourself and poking it with your own fingers.
Frostbite is just not a thing anymore.
Bite into cold food as much as you want, it won’t harm you.
The cool side of your pillow? Stays the temperature you want it.
That nice hot bath? Water never goes cold.
Ah rats, you’ve got hot food but you need to go do something? Well it’s ok - it isn’t going cold.
Neither is that hot drink.
Oh it’s ice cream? Ok, then it’s staying freezing cold, no worries.
Speaking of food that needs reheating, you can say goodbye to annoying cold spots in the middle.
I suppose that cuts back on heating bills in general.
Keep a nice little heat shield up and bullets will melt before they hit you. You don’t need to be flamed on for that.
And if you channel heat into your muscles, you can hit harder and run faster than normal if you need to.
For the geographically minded, you can go check out volcanoes up close. Maybe scoop up some lava for the scientists.
Or go check on the penguins during the Antarctic winter.
Oh yeah! You have infrared vision now too.
And enjoy not getting sick - your body can now boil it’s own blood to such a degree that you’ll never suffer a cold, flu or sickness bug ever again because all those viruses and bad bacteria are broiled away.
Using this method, you will also never be harmed by poison, nor will you need to suffer an allergic reaction.
Pyrokinetic powers are still cool though so now let’s delve into the fiery side that the Human Torch is more well known for:
Showering is now optional - fire burns off all dirt and bacteria so you can just do it for the soap smell.
Oh and brushing your teeth. Every ‘Flame On’ counts as brushing your teeth free of plaque.
That goes for sanitising your hands as well.
Emergency welding skills are there if you need them but, actually, you don’t need to be on fire to melt metal.
Oh yeah, you can fly. Forgot about that.
And by lighting fires in your eyes, I suppose you can see better in the dark because of more light absorption.
Finally, you can keep your loved ones from ever being burned by fire.
Go help out the Firefighters and save some lives with fellow heroes.
The younger ones can go be Spider-Man and Hulk or teleport or read minds or have telekinesis and invisibility or gravity control or the ability to control time or the weather or all of that cool stuff, that’s absolutely fine.
But I’m in my 30’s now and my mental health isn’t great. Give me Johnny Storm’s power. I need it.
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