Hello. I hope somebody is listening.

27 | British | they/them | queer 🏳️‍🌈 | autistic | ao3: eruditeprincess

[transand]

a vicious cycle

[if-i-was-a-wyrm]

sonce the sports are happening big rn where i live i made a handy chart of all the phrases i use to communicate with my loved ones during these trying times. i thought others might find it useful too

ive discovered you can have whole conversations with people using just these phrases and none will be any the wiser that you dont even know what sport it is theyre talking about

[luna-azzurra]

A non-writer asked me "but where do you get your ideas" and i genuinely did not know how to explain that it's not a place. it's not a website. it's not a folder. it's that i was on the bus and a woman was holding a paper bag very carefully and something about the way she held it made me need to know what was inside and then i needed to know why she was sad about it and then there was a whole person and then there was a whole story and the bus had already stopped and i missed my stop. that's where.

[death-420]

does anyone have that gif of a penis growth ad thats a guinea pig that stretches out rly long and a girl says “hot!” and the guinea pig spins around pls i need it

[raeuberkotzenrotz]

I gotchu

[death-420]

YES!!! YES!! YES!!!!!

[doomstar]

You literally cannot find this type of community interaction on twitter or instagram or any other app. Look at the support, the gratitude, the absolutely incomprehensible shared knowledge of this most cursed, most rare gif. 

Truly this is beauty.

[walmart-the-official]

Alternatives to saying “I’m gonna kill myself” because that’s bad for your mental health!

This will affect the trout population (a classic)

I’m gonna run away and join the circus

Fuck it, we ball (another classic)

The horrors persist but so do I (a third classic)

I’m gonna run away to Vegas

I’m gonna run away to New York/London/other large city near you

I’m too pretty to have this happen to me

The suffering is endless but so is my swag

Life’s a bitch but so am I

[hppjmxrgosg]

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

[tofumilanesa]

one of the funniest things about coaching little kids that i didnt think about until it happened is that theyre literally just too short to see the zamboni over the wall. they dont even really believe me that the zamboni exists because they only see it like once a month when i pick them up like simba to look at it. a week later they forget and then every time i talk about the zamboni they look at me like they’re in the middle of figuring out that the tooth fairy is not real. theyre all supposed to wait at the gate before practice for the zamboni to be done but the five year olds will stand there one foot away from the running zamboni and go I Think It’s Done. It’s Been A Long Time :) and try to push the door open right in front of it. they uave no clue at all. the only way they can figure it out semi independently is if theres an eight year old over there to meerkat for them but it does really quickly turn into a situation where it’s one forlorn eight year old yelling THE ZAMBONI IS REAL!!!!! while a bunch of toddlers try to battering ram their way onto the ice to get trampled to death by the zamboni that they literally dont believe in

[afk-lost]

next dw showrunner should beg for ncuti back and the only acknowledgement of the regeneration is a throwaway "what, babe, never had a little narrative breakdown before?"

[mountainsoftreatos]

Birb on your dash -

juvenile American robin

[rimonoroni2]

what people don’t understand about how adhd is disabling is that it’s not just getting temporarily distracted from, like, school work or hobbies. it’s getting distracted/being unable to motivate yourself to go to the doctor, eat regularly, do hygiene tasks, etc. it’s not knowing when or how long it will take you to do something, ANYTHING, and in many cases that thing is taking a shower or keeping your house from turning into a biohazard. it’s about being fundamentally incapable of controlling your attention and focus on anything, even and especially things you need to do to survive.

[assiraphales]

I kind of miss the impulsivity that certain spaces used to allow. oh you want a hair cut today? hairdresser in the corner can fit you in before her 2 o’clock. tattoo of a cobra… sure leg or arm? even concerts, back when you could go to the box office thirty mins before any show. not saying these things don’t exist at all, but everything feels booked five months in advance and 10x more expensive

[ratcoffin69]

[lem0nicle]

them

[orcarriagesthatwork]

I think about this cake every day

[tizzymcwizzy]

sorry for exposing your tags but this is hilarious

[microsuedemouse]

OP, I hope you don’t mind me making an addition:

When I turned 17, we ordered a cake at the grocery store for my party, as we’d done many times before. If you wanted something written on the cake you’d write it into a section of the order form. We requested, very simply, “Happy Birthday Courtney”. When we went to pick it up the day of the party, this is what we got.

The bakery employees had absolutely no explanation for this. The order form, attached to the box, very clearly did not contain any of those extra names. Whomever had done the writing was no longer in, so there was no one to ask how this had happened. The fact that the name ‘Juan’ is misspelled bewilders me to this day. (I’ve never seen ‘Miley’ without the E, either, but it’s believable that someone might spell it that way.) Did this cake slip in from an alternate universe where I’m one quarter of a set of Hispanic quadruplets? Dyslexic Hispanic quadruplets, maybe?

This cake became the focal point of my party. At least two of my friends regularly called me ‘Courtney Mily Jaun Pablo’ for years to come. My siblings and I still reference it sometimes, eleven years later. It is probably the funniest thing ever to occur at any birthday celebration of my life, and may well remain so for the rest of my days.

I love a botched cake.

[helenarth]

one time me and some pals spotted one of those big cookie cakes in a store. it was done up with red icing and little X's for kisses and in the middle it said

No One Like You

now, it took us a while to realise it meant "(there is) no one like you". at first, we all parsed it as a botched "no one like(s) you"

for ages after when we'd wind each other up we'd declare "NO ONE LIKE YOU ☹️👎"

[gngerale]

HEATED RIVALRY, EPISODE 3 'HUNTER'

[morphogenetic]

(wanting to make a post about something but it reveals too much about your personal life) i have had a negative experience

[socialistexan]

Babe wake up, new all time great image just dropped

[scoutsmoocrew]

This person needs to be arrested im going to cry

[sapper-in-the-wire-old]

How do you go through all the effort of setting up a sous vide to do this????

[swagforbirds]

never tell me that magic isnt real ever again when this is clear evidence of a person transmogrifing Meat into Wood

[thyrell]

i can transmogrify meat into wood by lookin at pictures of titties if ya get what im sayin

[weaselle]

hey, we all love tiddies here but this person has perpetrated a crime against nature and we need you stay focused