// THE BAD APPLE

if i make another move, if i take another step then it all would fall apart. there'd be nothing of me left. if i'm crying in the wind, if i'm crying in the night. will there ever be a way? will my heart return to white? can you tell me who you are? can you tell me where i am? i've forgotten how to see; i've forgotten if i can. if i opened up my eyes there'd be no more going back. 'cause i'd throw it all away, and it all would fade to black. / alma fudoh.

[escapenevaeh]

slvrtcngvs‌:

the brunette took a moment, but eventually made her way to his closet picking up all the jackets and sweaters she could find. “how often do you wear this one?” she held out a green cardigan, seemingly having pulled it out of nowhere. kari popped her head out from behind it, eyes narrowed, “i didn’t even think you owned any green in your closet.” // x - @escapenevaeh​

alma made a face at the sight. “i really don’t wear that one. a certain someone thought it would be a good idea for me to ‘branch out’ in my fashion taste- green doesn’t exactly suit me however.” ( @slvrtcngvs​ )

[whooh-rpmusings]

                                                      And this time I’ll get it right                                                      Yeah this time I’ll get it right                                               It’s gonna be this time I’ll get it right                                              Oh God let it be this time I get it right…  

[themusewhomuses]

               After a while,  DEATH  doesn’t                                                          sound so scary at all

[escapenevaeh]

no goodbyes // alma & flora

[escapenevaeh]

slvrtcngvs‌:

“Can you-?” she cuts in, glancing behind her again. she wraps her arms around herself, as if that will hold her up. “i’m…” she trails off, trying to find the words. she’s scared? of course she is. she nearly got… whatever by some gangle of men. she’s scared of alma running away again. scared she’s going to have to get used to him being gone. scared that she actually will. that’s not a life she wants to live. “i’m scared, alma.” flora speaks softly, looking up at him. // x - @escapenevaeh​

alma gazed at her, a mixture of confusion and concern. “..i know. it will be okay though. they aren’t going to hurt you anymore.” he reassured the best he could. he didn’t want her to feel this way, but he also couldn’t get too involve. not again. ( @slvrtcngvs​ )

[escapenevaeh]

no goodbyes // alma & flora

[escapenevaeh]

slvrtcngvs‌:

when he slowed down, so did she. they’re only a few feet apart really, but she feels miles and miles and miles away from him with everything’s that happened and everything that hasn’t.  he looks awful. haggard, tired, slimmer. flora knows immediately he hasn’t been taking care of himself and her heart breaks further knowing the neglect he’s putting himself through. why are you running, she wants to ask. it’s on the tip of her tongue. but if she asks, will he run away again? she’d chase him, they both knew she would.  “you…” her eyes glance behind her where the men still probably lay, “you came.” flora isn’t sure what else to say, too scared she’s going to say something that will make him leave her again. so she opts for the obvious trying to find a foothole in whatever was happening right now.  // x - @escapenevaeh​

“it was just by chance i ran into you...” he clarified with a small sigh, biting his lips, before reluctantly speaking again. “for what it’s worth, i’m glad you are okay. i need to go now though. you know very well i can’t stay.” he spoke firmly, a lot more than he himself believed he could. his self control was waivering though, watching the worry unfold onto her features. ( @slvrtcngvs​ )

[escapenevaeh]

no goodbyes // alma & flora

[escapenevaeh]

slvrtcngvs‌:

life became very strange for flora once she parted ways with alma. in a lot of ways it’s not too different, but in a lot of ways the difference is so drastic it gives her whiplash every time. it says something, how lonely she is without alma. she still gets up every morning to tend to her flowers, go to her job, messages other friends how they are and to keep in touch. but it’s different without him around. she never realized how deeply wrapped up he was in her life.   no one to call up and see if they’re eating well. no one to text good morning to or to say goodnight before she heads to bed. no one to call when life overwhelms her, and sometimes hearing that voice is enough to soothe her. no one to smile to, no one to laugh with. it’s all just… gone. poof! flora goes through the days feeling as if she’s living in some sort of dream world, because things do not feel very real to her anymore. not really. not at all. she’s slowly getting used to the idea that alma isn’t there anymore. slowly gets used to the empty space where he usually would be. slowly. very slowly. until, she sees him again.  the familiar flash of red hair, and oh, she’s dreaming again. that doesn’t stop the way her heart jumps at the hope it’s him, or the way she shouts, “Alma?” when she sees him run. her eyes dart to the bodies on the ground, mere miliseconds, before her attention is back on him.  she goes after him, like alice chases the white rabbit. // x - @escapenevaeh​

there was no denying he was fast. if he wanted, he really could leave flora in the dust and never look back. but of course, that wasn’t what happened. because despite everything, he still longed for her. it was both a comfort, and unbearable to even see her. he shouldn’t be here. it was a mistake, but his body had a mind of its own, conflicting against his rampaging emotions, and eventually, he slowed to a stop.  alma silently stared at the ground for a moment, his voice failing him as he refused to meet her eyes.  “why are you following me?” ( @slvrtcngvs​ )

[escapenevaeh]

no goodbyes // alma & flora

[ CONTINUED FROM HERE ]

agony. that was what the past whiles had looked for the redhead as of late. he thought he had been used to feeling pain, but he was far too wrong. he hadn’t experienced this level of sorrow in quite a long time... he stood his ground however, being stubborn and a man of his word, not having seen flora since that night. it had been torture really, to say goodbye to yet another person he cared for so deeply, but that was just how it had to be. ...so then why did fate insist on otherwise? it was a mere chance encounter. he was around her part of town out of necessity, and he did his best to not overstay his welcome, but things weren’t that easy. he had overheard some punks planning to cause trouble, he tried to ignore it. it didn’t involve him. but of course not. that wasn’t the person he was to turn a blind eye on a glaring problem of that nature. thus, he found his way back to them. and unintentionally, to her. it was like the fates were mocking him really.  as he finished fighting the last of them off, it was then he caught a glimpse of who it was that managed to wrap themselves in this mess. of course. it was flora. the moment he processed such? he made an attempt to dart away. he couldn’t do this right now. he couldn’t do this ever again. ( @slvrtcngvs​ )

[escapenevaeh]

slvrtcngvs‌:

flora watched him from her spot, eyes glassy and full of mourning. he really believed those words. he really thought he was hurting her. she wanted to try, she wanted to get him to see that those were just lies his head was feeding, but she was scared if she pushed more he’d pull even further back. the thought that this was going to be the last time they saw eachother broke her heart. imagine remembering the last time they spoke, it’d be with her in tears and him wallowing in his self pity. she wiped at her eyes as they watered again. “yes it is,” she answered honestly, and he knew it. he had to know how she felt, how she was feeling. “if you really want me gone, i’ll go but you owe me this much atleast,” flora stepped up to him, ignoring that he might push her away or that he might hate her more. he owed her this, this small, small thing. she wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his shoulder, trying to sap what warmth she could get for the last time. oh, she thought dizzily, this will be our last hug won’t it. // x - @escapenevaeh​

alma immediately went rigid at the sudden act. he didn’t even have a moment to process anything before she wrapped her arms around him. he felt so weak to her touch, it made his own eyes feel glassy, yet he couldn’t bring himself to return it. he didn’t deserve to feel anything right now close to joy. this was for flora, so she’d let her do as needed as long as it meant she would comply to his reasoning. so alma stayed there, silently staring at anywhere but her as he tried to distract himself from the familiar and comforting touch of her. this would be the last time. this was for the best... ( @slvrtcngvs​ )

[escapenevaeh]

slvrtcngvs‌:

despite her efforts at trying to keep her face clear, the tear tracks and reddened eyes made it all futile. she physically recoiled, flinching at his words. one couldn’t mistake the shock and hurt on her face. her heart was thumping erratically in her chest in sync with the conflicting emotions within in. so… all this time? all this time she’d- “that many times? i hurt you that many times by sticking around,” she shuddered a breath, trying to keep what composure she had left in her. miraculously. flora hadn’t realized she was forcing her company on her. even if she knew rationally he was only saying these things to push her away, but she’d always been one to take her faults too strongly. “you didn’t do anything,” she argued, weakly, “you didn’t do anything at all, alma.” now that the words were in her head, she struggled to keep them out. she was hurting him, the boy she cared about so deeply she only wished to see him get better. god, how awful she must be to not have noticed. // x - @escapenevaeh​

it was hell to try and contain himself from saying what he truly felt. “you are missing the point. this was never about you hurting me. you couldn’t hurt a fly damn you...it’s all me.” he spoke in a defeated tone. “im the only one causing either of us pain. i’m hurting you by hurting myself. and im hurting myself because im hurting you. it a vicious cycle that won’t end till you put a stop to it don’t you see! please flora, i’m begging you. please just...for once look after yourself for once and understand the pain im causing you is all my fault and you need to get rid of me. is that so hard for you?” it was eating him alive. please just go. please just go. please just go! he couldn’t take any more of this. he couldn’t watch her cry again after his screw ups. it was driving him off the edge with guilt. he just wanted her to be happy, his own feelings be damned! ( @slvrtcngvs​ )

[escapenevaeh]

slvrtcngvs‌:

“you can’t say that- you can’t say that and expect me to actually believe that do you?” flora wiped at her eyes, vision blurred. “how do you expect me to just turn my back on you and leave you like this. how could you expect me to think of you as some lost cause-” she cut herself off, saying the words physically hurting her. a moment stretched, before she found the words again. “you won’t even look at me? is that how badly you think of me now?” // x - @escapenevaeh​

"you know i could never think badly about you-" he spoke before he even realized what he was saying. there it was, that instinctual need to keep her safe. to bring her joy. but he couldn’t do it anymore. he would just end up hurting her again. “you said it yourself, i need to stop making promises i can’t keep. i’ve failed you so many times, so i just don’t get why you keep insisting on still being near me. i’m not doing this to hurt you...it doing this to protect you. flora. it’s what is best. and i know you might say its your right to decide, which is fair, but also, you clearly won’t do what is best for you if it means hurting someone else. well flora, you’d be hurting me more by allowing me another chance to hurt you a..again.” he spoke, his voice quivering slightly as he harshly bit on his lips. he couldn’t look at her, he refused to look at her. but he had to. so with a sigh, he turned, and was welcomed with a hellish sight.  “flora..look at you, i’ve already done it again.” ( @slvrtcngvs​ )

[escapenevaeh]

slvrtcngvs‌:

Ilima smiled, but kept silent initially unsure of whether to accept the offer or reject it. “It probably wouldn’t come as a surprise if I told you this isn’t the first time it’s happened.” Jealous lovers were everywhere. Jealousy was everywhere, but that was fine with him. Their insecurities were their own, he had nothing to do with that. “I’d hate to keep you if you had things to do, Alma.” Ilima answered honestly, “It’s bad enough that you got roped into things so suddenly.” // x- @escapenevaeh​

“oh please, it’s not much trouble. besides, it would be pretty shameful to just let a friend back into potential danger. the rest can wait, not like paperwork is going anywhere.” he spoke, offering a slight smile.  ( @slvrtcngvs​ )

[escapenevaeh]

slvrtcngvs‌:

i’m not a project you can fix. the words made her stop in her place. the words made the world stop turning. is… is that what he thought of her? is that what he thought she was doing? flora was floored, but she couldn’t find it in herself to argue. she could be pushy, and fussy, but it was always with good intentions. it was never because she thought of him as- her eyes stung, and she quickly raised a hand to face. with a shaky voice, she managed, “it wasn’t like that, alma. it was never like that. if i leave now, i really am scared this will be the last time i see you.” alone. hurt. angry.  she didn’t want to remember him like that. 

she wasn’t wrong to feel that way, about any of it. her deduction couldn’t be more right either. he supposed she knew him just too well, but he’d never admit that to her. not right now. or there was no chance of her leaving. “you think of everyone but yourself, flora. in some cases i’ve found it very admirable, but right now? it’s just self destructive. you are giving too much of yourself for a lost cause. i’m not worth all this grief, flora. not to you, or anyone else.” he spoke, his voice  bit softer this time, though still holding his ground on his stance. ( @slvrtcngvs​ )

[escapenevaeh]

slvrtcngvs‌:

flora could practically feel his walls raising up, blocking her from him. her heart thumped in a way that, unfortunately, was slowly becoming associated more and more with alma from recent events; fear. this time it wasn’t out of fear for him, for what he goes through and what could happen to him. now it was fear of him. he was shutting himself out again. shutting himself from her. the thought hurt her more than she could ever admit. she thought the two of them were beyond things like this. that the trust they built would help them manage whatever came their way. “alma, you know that’s not what i meant.” she tried to get near him again, trying to walk around him to see his face. flora needed to see his face. it was the only way to calm the growing panic in her. “you keep doing this to yourself and you always end up taking the brunt of all the pain. you keep trying to carry the world on your shoulders-” she halted hearing his tone. it was frigid, making her shiver. there was no way to describe the way she hated seeing alma like this. flora had always been a sensitive soul, this was no different. she felt her eyes mist over, but thankfully no tears. “alma, you can’t expect me to just leave you like this, do you? you can’t expect me to leave you.” // x - @escapenevaeh​

“you can’t keep doing this.” alma spoke, doing is best to refuse all instincts to just go into her arms and forget the world and all the pain he felt. it was just plain selfish of him to even think that. “you always do this, but i’m not a project you can fix. you are kind, too kind, and i will end up destroying you at this rate, flora. we both know this, so why the hell do you insist on sticking around?” he spoke, his throat feeling tight. “my pain is mine alone to bear, flora. you have to stop this cycle. you have to leave.”  because he wasn’t strong enough to do it himself.

[slvrtcngvs]

Weary and Woeful

[escapenevaeh]

slvrtcngvs‌:

“I’ll be sure to come up with a cover story, should the need arise.” She offered a smile, glancing at the available chair near him. Flora was tempted to book it (pun not intended), but she knew eyes would be on her and if she didn’t make an effort…

Sliding into the seat near him, she laid her book down on the table. It was an encyclopedia on the flowers they had out in the gardens. “I’m surprised no one has managed to come snatch you up yet. A prince with free time is hard to come by.” x - @escapenevaeh​

“i may or may not have snuck away just before anyone noticed- but that will stay our secret.” he admitted with a small smirk playing on his features. “anyhow, enough in regards to me, what have you been up to?” he appreciated the company flora always offered to him. in such a large and sometimes isolating environment, it was comforting to have a sort of friend around.  ( @slvrtcngvs​ )

[escapenevaeh]

slvrtcngvs‌:

“Sometimes, it seems that the going is just too rough.” || @escapenevaeh

“Yeah, but it’s not like you gotta do it alone.” Kari gently nudged his shoulder, staring at him with a knowing glint in her eyes. She never wanted those around her to think they had to go through all their troubles alone. If they let her, she’d be right there with them. “You have me! So how bad can things be if you share the load.” 

“i can’t rely on others for everything however.” alma admitted, though offered the girl a ghost of a smile. “i appreciate it though. doing it alone, is just in my nature of doing.” ( @slvrtcngvs​ )

[escapenevaeh]

slvrtcngvs‌:

continued from here || @escapenevaeh

“Worse or less, you’re still in pain and that’s what I don’t like.” Her tone was soft, but hurt. Flora didn’t like seeing the people around her hurt, and she wasn’t so fond of people dismissing their pains either. But she was not their keeper. “Atleast keep the ice on it for now? Please?”

alma frowned a bit to himself. he really couldn’t feel it, but he supposed it wouldn’t hurt just to give her a peace of mind about things. “alright, flora.” he spoke with a small nod. he truly didn’t quite understand it, why flora cared so much about something so trivial in his eyes, but he wouldn’t question it too much. everyone had their reasons, which is what he liked most about people. ( @slvrtcngvs​ )

[escapenevaeh]

slvrtcngvs‌:

continued from here || @escapenevaeh

Kari peeked at him, feigning suspicion on her face as she buried herself deeper in the hoodie. “Which one?” She inquired. Truthfully, it didn’t matter too much which hoodie she got, only that the other wore it. She liked the feeling of being enveloped in their warmth and smell, it was comforting for her. Which is why she often took this one because Alma wore it often. 

“any you want, just not that one.” he spoke, hoping the deal sounded compelling. that hoodie was a staple of his! and while he wouldn’t admit it to anyone, he really was rather attached to it despite it essentially just being fabric.  ( @slvrtcngvs​ )