Soli Deo Gloria

[esminlee]

children

It’s one of those things: you're thrilled to see your child grow and hear them say things you never imagined. Yet, there's a realization that as they get older, you're losing the smaller version of them forever.

[esminlee]

I mentioned to my therapist that I’ve been feeling highly anxious lately because I hate that in life we’re often forced to make huge decisions without much guidance or much time.

As I grow older, I’m realizing how one decision can ripple into other areas of life, which makes every choice feel even scarier. And I don’t always know whether a decision will lead to a positive or negative outcome. I just have to make it and see where it takes me.

She said, “But you’re adjusting. You’re adjusting to the choices you make.”

That made me realize something important: we fine-tune after we make these choices. We adapt, we learn, we course-correct.

So maybe making big decisions isn’t as terrifying as I thought. The choices we make don’t have the last say.

[esminlee]

My 30s

I used to believe I was meant for a different world, different time— that my soul craved something more than what my life could offer. But now, with two little ones and their small hands reaching for me, I can’t imagine myself in any other era, in any other world. In a heartbeat, I would choose their timeline. I wouldn’t give it up for anything.

They make me feel fulfilled and complete— whole, and truly alive.

[esminlee]

”when you speak, do so as if planting a flower in the heart of another.”

[jaclynpaige]

[jaclynpaige]

[esminlee]

Home

Husband: Do you know what my dream is? Me: What is it? Husband: It's to grow old with you and come to one of these diners and get senior discounts.

[esminlee]

"...One incredibly simple way to help take the sting out of trauma memories is to simply say out loud, 'This is in the past' every single time you encounter them. The more you are able to do this, the more your brain will get the opportunity to imprint that this is not a current event."

Dr. Mary Catherine McDonald

[mournfulroses]

Edna St. Vincent Millay, from a diary entry featured in Rapture & Melancholy; The Diaries of Edna St. Vincent Millay

[esminlee]

"I didn't understand how paying someone to listen to my problems...could change anything.

But here's what I didn't understand back then: I wasn't changing the past, rather I was changing my relationship to self"

mardou_draws

[esminlee]

Shall We Dance (2004) - “We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness” ― Beverly Clark

[esminlee]

“Time will always flow. Everything will pass by. That might be why youth is beautiful. It shines, blindingly bright, for just an instant. But you can never go back to it.”

[esminlee]

i am convinced that most people do not grow up. we find parking spaces and honor our credit cards. we marry and dare to have children and call that growing up. i think what we do is mostly grow old. we carry accumulation of years in our bodies and on our faces, but generally our real selves, the children inside, are still innocent and shy as magnolias.

we may act sophisticated and worldly but i believe we feel safest when we go inside ourselves and find home, a place where we belong and maybe the only place we really do. - maya angelou

[esminlee]

Adult: Is happiness important?

Child: No.

Adult: Woah. Why not?

Child: Cause all feelings are important!

- Recess Therapy

[nightlyquotes]

“Deep conversations with the right people are priceless.”

— Unknown

[esminlee]

I want to dream with and for my baby. Something I never really got to do for myself.

I’m excited 😊

[esminlee]

“...you feel a lot, which means sometimes you're gonna hurt a lot, but it also means that you're gonna live a life that is emotionally rich and really beautiful."