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Con amor no alcanza

I feel like a vessel for male pleasure, i like sex but most of them watch too much porn to even be able to remember my face. I’d like to just create and share more pleasure. It’s so easy to hide from what you think I enjoy, then to actually try and please me. You’re not ready to be so vulnerable, to try and care for me. Its indeed the hardest thing I like doing. It’s like picking a flower from the garden, you do it because it hurts but also feels really good. You don’t know how she’ll fade but understand that the pleasure of holding it in your hands is greater. I embrace all part of having sex even the worst of it. It just feels normal to me. It’s so deep it makes me wants to live. I’ve been doing so much work to feel better with sex in general, just for people to watch porn and get away with it… I wonder why I even keep trying. I think every second I let someone in me feels like a burden that I have to hold in order to keep going. Just like the way of life in the wild. You accept that you are food to another being. The most selfless act ; to give yourself entirely. I do feel like I’m being eaten alive. Maybe that’s what I’m chasing… to be whole in someone’s soul :The Creation. Through all these bodies, I run after life itself. I want to feel human again and close to my deepest desires and instincts. Human again. I’m in the jungle running through the pain of not feeling like the beast that I am supposed to be. A lioness detached from her own body. She walks around ready to be eaten. But nothing can handle her, so she keeps eating the flesh given to her, raw and tender she can’t swallow, the fear of being is too big. Her body hurts she dont know how to cry. …. How can a lioness not be what she is? Afraid, she keeps going…