Undetermined soul @esteefreakingmoore-blog - Tumblr Blog

I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change, I am changing the things that I cannot accept - Angela Davis

This picture right here is pure happiness on my baby's face! Hahah he loves pissing me off, and clearly obtains true laughter when he achieves his goal! Ohh man! Miss this dude ❤️

My love

You have completed my soul. You give me strength to be myself and to be better and learn more. I know it's hard not living near each other. You make me the happiest I have ever been in my whole life. I don't want it to end here when I leave. I know it's only just started. Traveling with you has given me new perspective and life expeirence so will never forget and will always look back and smile on these times we have been together. Thank you for being so patient with me Endhyr, and taking the time to know me and love me. I have so much respect and love for you it's unreal. Nothing makes sense and that is perfectly ok. You deal with what I call my reality and I deal with yours. Together I know we will go through great troubles and struggle being together at times but you make my world go around and I could not imagine living and loving with anyone but you for the rest of my time here on earth. You are right the greatest adventure will be when we will travel the universe together. I feel like I've known you my whole life, and in all the previous ones we have lived before. You're laying right next to me sleeping and the sound of your heart and your breathing calms me. Your presence calms me and makes me feel complete. I do not want to fly home tomorrow I want to stay and hide in your room and always be there for you in body and soul. I feel selfish for still wanting to have a life and career when all I really want is you. And to support you and have a family with you. I know we will one day and I can do that one day but for now the struggle begins again. You have shown me that you are serious and I believe you with all my heart. If there were any doubts in me I couldn't have even come here to begin with. Please don't have too much fun exploring without me. We will be together and I will be much more prepared to get to know the world with you by my side. My own backpack and boots and no more lousy bags to lose shit in. I can not wait for our next adventure together, life, traveling, and a family. And then some more life after that. I will be the most loyal woman to you because you deserve it and so do I. A real chance at something so real I can't even put it into words. Pictures do a good job at capturing our moments and help me relive the times through your eyes. With all my heart body and soul I love you Endhyr Meza. We are already together forever. I will show you love and learn everything the universe has to teach me through you and myself. I am the key, and I am ready to be on another more intimate level of love with you. Please don't lose faith in me, please always keep your patience, and please please never give up on us, I swear to you I will never leave your side again. This is right and this is perfect even with all of the flaws that come with it. Ok I'm really going to sleep now that I got some of that off my chest. Goodnight my little gordo.

Vacation!!

26 hours until I am on a plane and headed to Germany!! Thank god! Flying is the worst part. Longest and probably most anxiety I've had in a long time but it will be so fun and so worth it once I'm on that plane and everything is taken care of and I can finally relax and sleep a little! :) yayyy and be with the love of my life and he can relax too:) we will be happy birds in just a day or two!! F yeah!

2014

Good riddance 2014 and 2013. I am myself. I am clear minded and confident in my future. A horrible mistake I made in my past was thinking I couldn't live my own life and support everything I wanted. And I can't really support everything I want still but I sure as hell am taking care of myself better than any boy ever did for me!!! I wasted my time learning that marriage doesn't pay for everything. It's actually quite expensive and costly in all departments. Emotionally I was drained. I wanted something I couldn't have but always dreamed of. Him. He is still my weakness. He makes everything complete in my world, in my life, and in our universe. I am my own person and he loves me for it. I've never been so hurt and loved by the same person ever before. Reading back to my previous thoughts earlier in life, it's really clear that my gut knew something with him was different, and there was a reason I was holding on. More than just a pathetic little crush. We are talking the very first man I made love to and the first man who broke my heart. He put it back together for me 6 years after breaking it. I love him to the moon and back and am so happy I can say that to his face. I've had such a deep love for him since we met. Our relationship is more than it ever was before. He doesn't even have to say anything. I know he is there If I need him to be no questions asked. He is the exact man I was made for on this earth. To live the same lifetime and live an actual life with your soulmate. Well it just doesn't usually happen in this real cynical world of ours. Whatever fates or god or gods brought us together are kind and want us to know what loving another person is really about. They want us to know it does exist and that there are too many cruels in this world to face alone. They want us to know how deep the connection can go with another human being that it is not all touch and talk that it is a spiritual and beautiful thing to experience. Last December I wrote about how angry I was that I couldn't be with the man I proclaimed to love. I was angry with him for not being my souls mate even after we got married. I gave up so much. After this year of a long distance relationship that I wasn't fully committed to I have learned so much about myself. And what I do want in life and in love. Not because I found it alone but because he helped me. By showing me what it is to show someone love! And the possibilities are now endless:) ❤️❤️

Had a dream we were running from the cops. We lived on the 624th floor of some nasty building but we didn't care because we were in love and nothing else mattered. We didn't care that we might go to jail forever if we got caught, because we were having fun just being together. This may not be the right time for us but I know I met you for a reason, we were happy at one point. I have to say I thought we shared a lot of the same values.

Frustrating

4 fucking years together and we can't spend not even one New Years together. It's fucking bullshit. And so fucking obvious that I am making the right decision by moving back home.

kalynroseanne

Sometimes you’re 23 and standing in the kitchen of your house making breakfast and brewing coffee and listening to music that for some reason is really getting to your heart. You’re just standing there thinking about going to work and picking up your dry cleaning. And also more exciting things like books you’re reading and trips you plan on taking and relationships that are springing into existence. Or fading from your memory, which is far less exciting. And suddenly you just don’t feel at home in your skin or in your house and you just want home but “Mom’s” probably wouldn’t feel like home anymore either. There used to be the comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened everyday and arms that were never for anyone else. But just to calm you down when you started feeling trapped in a five-minute period where nostalgia is too much and thoughts of this person you are feel foreign. When you realize that you’ll never be this young again but this is the first time you’ve ever been this old. When you can’t remember how you got from sixteen to here and all the same feel like sixteen is just as much of a stranger to you now. The song is over. The coffee’s done. You’re going to breathe in and out. You’re going to be fine in about five minutes.

Unknown (via champagnelifestyle)