Merlin: I’m gonna take Arthur some crackers.
Gaius: Merlin, he must not eat those crackers.
Merlin: Okay, then it probably isn’t important. Look, if you’re saving them for your afternoon snack, I can buy you more.
Morgana: I had a bad dream that Arthur died of eating poisoned crackers.
Gaius: You're delusional. I ain't never heard of no poison animal crackers never.
Merlin: (Gives the crackers to Arthur.)
Arthur: Merlin, you’re dumb. You’re a big stupid dummy and also my best friend. (Eats the crackers.) (Foams at the mouth.)
Uther: THE SORCERER WHO DID THIS IS GONNA DIE.
Gaius: MERLIN, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! Those crackers were poisoned!
Merlin: Why the heck didn’t you tell me?
Gaius: I’m sorry! I’ll never keep things from you again~! I pwomise!
Merlin: You have a cure, right?
Merlin: ... You realize this is your fault.
Merlin: So what am I supposed to do? I’d rather not die.
Gaius: Nobody can fix it. We’re all doomed.
Merlin: wtf? Well now I’m sad.
Gaius: There is... one way...
Merlin: ... Yeah, take your time. No rush.
Gaius: You must ask the Great Dragon. He knows the cure.
Merlin: You could have mentioned that sooner.
Merlin: Great Dragon, I need your help. I accidentally poisoned Arthur with some crackers.
Dragon: Hah, that’s pretty funny.
Dragon: Sure, sure, but like it’s still kinda a little funny. Camelot is legit doomed and it’s completely your fault.
Merlin: ... Either you help me or I, a novice wizard, will threaten you.
Dragon: You’re scary when you get mad. Fine. Go on a month-long voyage to find a magic feather and tickle Arthur’s chin with it. But you only have until sunset tomorrow.
Merlin: That’s literally impossible.
Dragon: The episode’s only 45 minutes. Just montage it.
Gaius: Uther, we know how to cure Arthur. Just wait a few hours and it'll all be cool.
Uther: I don't believe you. I'm gonna kill some people who look vaguely magical.
Gaius: You've known me for decades and I'm pretty much your only friend. Besides that, every time you don't trust me, stuff goes real bad. Shouldn't you trust me by now?
Merlin: (Gives Arthur the cure.)
Uther: I was wrong about everything! I'll be better next time I pwomise.
Arthur: Merlin, you’re a stupid stinky bum. Muck out my stables.