Ragged Edge

I love writing. I like capturing memories with my camera. I enjoy watching sunsets. I am at my happiest when I spend time with my kids and my wife. :)

[estupidongjuantamad]

It’s been a while! I know I haven’t posted lately but life has been busy. I hope y’all are doing great and living your life to the fullest. After graduation last April, work-life balance been slowly returning to normal. I couldn’t be any happier that I get to sleep and wake up without thinking about papers to submit. Rest is life, or rather sleep is everything. I remembered refusing naps when I was a kid but now, dang I would take it all day long.

I also decided to improve my Spanish so I did some classes at La Universidad de Salamanca. I couldn’t believe that studying it at a college level is so different but I learned a lot. I just have to adjust because I live in North America and there are words that are used differently in Spain compared to let’s say Mexico. I can now talk about things better but hey, my goal is B2, which is still pending and idk how long to get there. Pero estoy agradecido por estar avanzando. Así que, ¡muchísimas gracias, Universidad de Salamanca!

Anyways, since I am in my late 30s now, I want to make it fruitful and exciting—again. I have not travelled in EU since having our second child, but this time, I want to do the unusual and me putting myself out of my comfort zone. I decided to do an Italy summer trip, but the catch is, I am doing a Tuscan roadtrip too! Never have I ever imagined driving in Italy lol I want to see Montepulciano, Pienza, Siena, San Gimignano etc. I know I just said I learned more Spanish this year, I better get some Italian in my pocket before this trip.

I live close to Napa Valley and me remembering college days in Napa, we would eat great food and do wine tasting back in the day. I’d do the same in this Tuscan roadtrip. I also plan to visit the town of Lucca and the infamous Cinque Terre and I am hella excited. There’s actually more but this is the highlight of my Italy trip this summer.

Don’t start with Firenze (Florence) because I’ll definitely be there too. I want to grab some art supplies from Zecchi and do some painting while sitting somewhere in the city and people watching. Feeling like the grandmasters? Lol You don’t know how much I love art but I ended up focusing on photography. I just came back to drawing and painting last year so this is going to be a wonderful experience.

I know I blabber too much but I am just happy that I got my international driving permit and I am so ready for the drive! I love roadtrips because the US has beautiful national parks. Writing this here so I can go back to after the trip. Ha!

I hope y’all are having a great time.

6/25/26 1546 PST

[estupidongjuantamad]

Finally, I just graduated! I am so grateful to have achieved this milestone. While I was celebrating inside the arena, my kids decided to just be kids and threw tantrums. LOL

Well, we’re just going to go back tomorrow for a photo session. I did not bring my tripod all the way from California to Cedar City, Utah for nothing. Also, it’s honestly a smarter decision because everyone was taking photos today and there was barely any space. 😂

I still can’t believe I am the first in my family to obtain a master’s degree, and I couldn’t be any prouder. I really enjoyed the speech by former Utah Governor Mike Leavitt—it inspired me to take chances, not just in life, but in myself.

Congratulations, Class of 2026! This commencement experience has been amazing and so different from my undergraduate ceremony back in the old Red Lions Den at San Beda–Manila. I also remembered graduating from public high school back home. It’s surreal to think that the same innocent and ambitious kid has come this far.

It’s sweeter and more fulfilling to achieve something in adulthood because I now understand what it means to juggle everything. I am especially grateful for my wife and my kids, who have always been there.

4/23/26 2324 PST

[estupidongjuantamad]

It’s the 5th of April, and I feel so exhausted and drained. Sleep deprivation is no joke as it caused me to feel apathetic sometimes. Although this date is a reminder that graduation is happening real soon. In less than 3 weeks, I am done with school. At last, I can take longer sleeps, longer runs, and most importantly, more time with family.

I couldn’t believe that I would struggle this bad with juggling life, work and family. But at the end of the day, I’d say this loud and clear, with God’s grace, I was able to succeed.

As I write this, I am just doing finishing touches in my final manuscript that is due on the 14th. Also, a powerpoint and a video presentation will be the last few submissions and that is really it!

I’m so grateful, even though life was a bit busy the last few years. I learned to be more patient, resilient, and curious, and to discover that there is more to life than achievements, titles, awards, and “pieces of paper.”

Basically, I really want to spend more time with my wife and kids, and make more memories together. Looking forward to more travels this year!

I hope y’all are doing just fine. Happy Easter!

4/5/2026 2117 PST

[estupidongjuantamad]

I came to work today to see a backpack at my desk. My first response was “isa na naman pong panipsip alikabok”lol But I appreciate the gesture.

May lamang snacks sa loob, may card, pin, and certified nurse badge buddy. I wish 10 bucks gift card nalang (entitled?).

3.5 weeks before graduation. I am so happy I’ll get to sleep full 8 hours again. Few months later, I’ll need to train waking up early for when my kids start school, I’m ready.

3/28/26 0520 PST

[estupidongjuantamad]

I realized I have been ordering a lot of food from uber eats and door dash. That’s hella $$$ spent on food lol I am so glad that today has been productive and the kids had so much fun. I haven’t done this in a while, so every moment I could do this motivates me to push harder in life. Also, thank God that I don’t have anything scheduled in the next few days, so we can play more and spend quality time together.

Btw, I saw a YT video of this recipe and then decided to cook it for the very first time. I usually like to cook beef stew and chicken in white wine, but this one is simple yet so good! Now I find myself devouring a plate of Coq au vin.

I don’t even know how to properly say the name of this dish but it is soooo good.

2/20/26 0013H PST

[estupidongjuantamad]

I submitted my final paper!!!

Adding this here as a reminder that graduation is just right around the corner. One last term remaining. A month and a half to be exact and I am free!

I want to go to Europe after this lol! I am already thinking about pasta, pastries and coffee. I get so excited. The challenging part is bringing my kids on a long ass flight and walk on cobblestone streets. I guess I’ll take that versus school while rotting at home.

2/19/26 1651 PST

[estupidongjuantamad]

I am tired yet excited since grad school is almost done. My brain is fried all the time since it’s hard to work FT, study, and be a dad and a husband all at the same time. Don’t get me wrong, I am so grateful for everything. I just miss those days that I don’t do any homework in the wee hours of the night and then work the next day.

I need a good amount of motivation to finish my paper. I’m almost there but I am claiming it. My application for graduation was also approved. Yay! I did it! :)

2/3/26 2237 PST

[estupidongjuantamad]

I forgot to bring my snow pants, but whatever, it’s okay. I was listening to a course from the University of Edinburgh about self-care and mindfulness. I realized how important it is for us to recognize and name our emotions so we can develop self-compassion. When we talk about compassion, the first thing that comes to our minds is about others.

I knew about the concept of amygdala hijack, where when we are triggered by a certain situation, we resort to our old way of being reactive. If we develop deep self-awareness, we will understand why we feel that way and how we can respond instead of being reactive. I learned about the importance of self-care and mindfulness because at the end of the day, no one fills up our cups but us.

I look forward to living my life being more present. Achievements, awards, titles, and promotions don't mean anything because I value my family, human connection, friendship, and love in a deeper sense.

01/05/2026 1707 PST

[estupidongjuantamad]

My plan was just to disconnect and relax but I did not expect to shovel knee deep snow at my airbnb lol

Well, I am still grateful for everything and I am glad to spend undivided time with my growing family.

Happy New Year!

[estupidongjuantamad]

Life has been busy lately. My kids are growing so fast. But I am glad I am almost done with my master's. It’s so hard to juggle life as an employee, father, and student. Well, I guess I should be happier since I will have more time with my kids. My daughter once told me something that really touched my heart: “Papa, why are you always studying? I miss us playing.” It melted my heart. I would be so happy to finish all the schoolwork because I didn’t expect it to be this hard. Not that the courses are hard, but the life circumstances I am in while adulting. Thanks to my supportive wifey.

How about you? Are you doing ok? Just take things one step at a time. We will all get there. :)

11/16/2025 1513H PST

[estupidongjuantamad]

I’m still working on this one. I also created an instagram account to document my art journey. I couldn’t believe that it’s already been a month since I started learning how to draw. I am pleased with my progress and I couldn’t be more excited to get better at it.

Follow me on instagram @oldenoughtoart

7/26/25 @2328 PST

[estupidongjuantamad]

As someone who has sweaty hands, I never liked drawing. Well, I guess after 30+ years, it’s not bad to learn it right? It’s been over three weeks since I started drawing everyday and these are some of the few sketches that I did. Mind you, when I started, I can’t even draw a decent figure lol I am so surprised my hands are cooperating well.

Let’s get this going for the next few months and see what happens. Btw, I did this because I was having information overload from reading case studies for the management course I am taking this semester. I also started painting again and bought some gouache and watercolor. :)

7/10/25 0312H PST

[estupidongjuantamad]

Last straw for this semester. I’ve been a little lazy the past few weeks and after that health policy course, now I get to digest some more case studies. I need some motivation right now. Well at least, on the brighter side, I have 2 more semesters left and I am done with school. I did not realize how exhausting it is to be a parent, working FT and finishing school all at the same time. I need a nice vacation in an all-inclusive hotel and sit by the beach. Ain’t it nice? lol

6/29/25 2359H PST

[estupidongjuantamad]

After two months of waiting, this finally showed up in the mail.

I know I haven’t been very active here lately. Getting back to work has kept me busy. The ER isn’t too overwhelming at this time of year, but we’ve been working on ways to improve the patient experience.

Lately, I’ve been focusing more on supporting underinsured and uninsured patients. The goal is to help close the gaps in care they often face once they leave the hospital. It’s been challenging. A lot of them are just trying to stay afloat, and sometimes all it takes is one person who believes in them, especially when they’re struggling to believe in themselves.

At the same time, there’s ongoing talk about proposed Medicaid budget cuts, and now all this heartbreaking news about wars and missile strikes. It’s a lot to take in. What else is 2025 going to throw at us?

Hope you’re all staying safe and looking out for one another.

06/23/25 1330 PST

[estupidongjuantamad]

So me and my photography brother are doing this photography challenge. Ha! It started as doing street then ended up night photography. I told him I’ll capture the streets when I get to Oakland during my videography workshop and then I’ll do night photography after that.

I have this idea in my mind but I’ll do that for the next project. I am combining writing and photography as I want to publish my own book.

Now I am excited with this current project and can’t wait to create more content!

5/11/25 l 1825 PST

[estupidongjuantamad]

No matter how many times I've been here, I still feel like it's my first. I remember that very first day decades back, I was that happy and excited kid who asked his mom to capture that moment. Now I am here, still the same kid but creating and capturing more memories in a photograph.

Golden Gate Bridge & Embarcadero, 2019 l Nikon D750 l 24-70 f2.8

5/11/25 l 1518 PST

[estupidongjuantamad]

So recently, I was thinking about joining a photography tour. I wanted to either go to Europe or somewhere in Asia so I can join people who share the same passion while travelling. Unfortunately, almost all of them are fully booked until next year.

I may just do a domestic photography tour like an out of state tour. On the other hand, I stumbled this local photography group and they offer workshops. Oh man, I got so excited so I am joining one of their workshops this month. I can't wait to join their darkroom workshops too.

I've been into film photography the last five years and I do develop my own exposed films. However, I had been struggling since now I have small kids at home and the chemicals I use can cause serious problems so now, I'll probably stick to my trusty lab for the mean time or just probably ditch the C41 developing and focus on B&W.

I discovered this Filipino photographer who happens to live close to where I live. I wish I can meet him one day. I never had a friend who has the same level of passion as I have but nonetheless, I will network with others when I attend the workshop. I am so excited.

This is a photo I took back in 2020 during the pandemic along the pacific coast highway AKA highway 1. Shot using Fujifilm Superia 400 film partnered with Minolta alpha 7.

One of my favorite places in the pacific coast highway here in California.

5/9/25 l 0405 PST