esuriem

this page contains very explicit details on eating disorders(bulimia nervosa mainly), please leave if you are vulnerable to such. if you do proceed, it's on own responsibility i do not support pro-ed, thinspo or any of the sort, this blogs exists merely as a means of personal documentation (i am a fool if you suffer from an eating disorder or any other addiction please be sensible get help don't be like me i am lame) i can't follow anyone back since this is a sideblog, but talk to me if you want to me :]

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I just wanted to say that I think you are so incredibly beautiful!! I wish you didn't have to go through the horrible things that you do, but remember that you're never alone. I wish you all the happiness in the world and hopefully one day freedom from this awful disorder. <3

I don’t really feel like anyone actually cares about this blog or what I post on here because despite the fact that people follow me they seldomly ever react to my posts, so this is very nice to hear, so thank you for thinking this and taking the time to share it <3

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‘IM SO FUCKING PISSED AT MYSELF I NEED TO STOP THIS SHIT

@MYSELF TOMORROW IF YOU FUKC UP I AGAIN I IWLL FUKING KIL YOU

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FOR REAL JUST FUCKING STOP BEING SO WEAK STOP WASTING FOOD!! STOP EATING SO MUCH FOD AND THORW IT UP AGAIN FIND SOMETHING BETTER TO DO idiot

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tomorrow i will not binge, i will not eat unless i’m hungry, i wil not throw up and i MEAN that

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I was shocked at myself not feeling  the need to binge more than once the past 4 days then I remembered I was wasted fckn drunk literally every second of those so I guess it@s not really an achievemtn

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i can’t purge the rest of the food in my stomach it’s so stuk i can puke bile thru it but i can feel it’s there and it makes me sick like physically, what have i done to my body to make it react so badly to having a moderate amount of food in it

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why is this dumass stock photo so hard hitting to me

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Lol

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Cocaína

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Why do I feel the need to share pics(or even take them in the first place) of me bingeing in a public bathroom but I do

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http://www.myproana.com/index.php/topic/213998-pics-of-binge-haul/

I love looking at shit like this

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It’s so annyoing to think how skinny I used to be and I fucke dit all away

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I always forget about this blog but I’m probably going to start using it again

I live at a boarding school now and we get free food here + I also have the opportunity to go buy more food myself.

In the beginning it was actually easy. I always have something to do here, there’s always someone I can go talk to to distract myself.

But I mean free food.

It’s embarrassing and I believe at least some people may have began to notice things.

But free food man.

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I threw up blood for the first time in some years

And got this feeling back, that I had when I was severely bulimic

THis feels really bad

...

It makes me so sick to think about all the time I spent being not only a bulimic, but a failed bulimic

I miss being a non-bulimic but I also miss being an underweight blood-puking bulimic

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> dipping chocolate covered crisps in chocolate spread

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I woke up 19:00(ish) and bought food because of it

I haven’t touched it yet

I think I will go to the gym first only to feel less bad about bping(because it works) but.. it’s so far i can’t drive and my bicycle is half broken

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yo long time no see

update: I’m motivated to live ; still bingeing and purging every single day. And have been doing so for two years. ? I am lost