something to believe in .

byleth eisner, affiliated with blackwood rp.

[etcinis]

preynot·:

claude’s a perceptive guy. he kind of assumes most of the people around him are as well– it’s hard not to when you grow up in that kind of environment, with a million eyes scrutinizing your every move at every given moment in time. he’d rather overestimate than underestimate people– he’d rather assume byleth noticed than not.

and, well. goddamnit.

because all that regardless, claude’s still gonna ignore it. because he may be perceptive, but he doesn’t have the guts to just out and confront his feelings like that when it took months to get byleth to even go on a date with him.

naturally, his feelings disappear from his throat and back into the bottom of his stomach the second he takes note of byleth’s face at the festival, though. claude admittedly doesn’t know as much as he’d like about byleth– only little tidbits and details here and there, admissions from the boy himself. the rest were simply things claude had inferred from the months of spending time with byleth, and his preference for quiet and solitary places was… definitely one of those things, now that he thought about it.

maybe this wasn’t the best idea. good job, claude.

byleth seems determined to give a shot though, and claude’s never been a coward; so he swallows his fears and gives his best award-winning smile. “do you have anything you want to try? there’s plenty of options.” there was dozens of options to choose from, from crepes, to kebabs, to turkey legs, to gyros, and even a bustling ramen stall down the way.

whichever byleth chooses, claude guides him over gently, careful to direct him away from the worst of the… excitement. “you really haven’t been to many festivals or anything like that, then?” he asks while they stand in line, making small talk.

of course not. normally claude’s brain works better than this, but it’s short-circuiting a little with the close proximity.

it seemed claude had picked up on his discomfort; unfortunate but unavoidable. at least he wasn’t insisting they leave either, and byleth silently followed his nose, the familiar presence of claude staying close and comforting in all the hubbub. the stall they found themselves at boasted savory crepes, and with the sign in front of him byleth was able to identify cooked mushrooms as the source of the scent.

at first he only shook his head at claude’s question, but after a beat, he realized a better answer was probably warranted. claude had indulged his questions, after all, and it wasn’t as if byleth had anything to hide.

“before i came to this school, i hadn’t been.. anywhere. i’m very thankful for the opportunity to see beyond the church’s walls, but i don’t even know what all i don’t know, the world is so much larger than i can fathom... and everything moves so quickly.” years, decades, he had spent in the same unchanging halls. even that someone could finish an education in just four years felt alien to him, when he saw students graduating he had to wonder if they had truly learned anything in such a short time.

“it’s.. i’m very curious, but there’s so much to see before i go home, i worry i’ll miss...” he trailed off, uncertain of what he was getting at himself. “..something important, i suppose.”

[etcinis]

preynot·:

people have told claude repeatedly that he has a talent for leading, that others have a compulsion to follow him. that was something he used to his advantage, having been born with a natural charisma that had carried him through the years above hostility and vitriol from every side. he lets most things slide off his shoulders, but at the same time, being the outsider after so many years still had it’s impact on him.

byleth doesn’t see claude as other. he just sees him as a person, and only seems fascinated in him for who he is– not because he’s the pretty stranger from Not America, the cute tiktok guy, everyone’s friend. maybe that was why he was so drawn to him; it was nice to talk to someone who wasn’t in it for the novelty of him.

he starts at the hand at his sleeve, though– he looks back with a surprised expression, about to open his mouth to respond before the sound of the signal warning them to get moving interrupts his thoughts. claude doesn’t think when he gently takes byleth’s hand to rush them onto the sidewalk, the signal changing just as their feet reach the concrete, one angry driver honking on their way past.

“everything changes. that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t appreciate what we have– and that doesn’t mean everything is going to end someday. i don’t believe in fate or providence– we forge our own future. anything can happen, and i wouldn’t just leave you behind because i’ve got big dreams.”

at that, claude seems to realize that he’s still holding onto byleth’s hand, and he drops it, clearing his throat and turning his face away. (thank goodness it was nighttime, and the street lights couldn’t highlight his face well.) “…anyway, the festival is just around the corner. shall we?” nice subject change, claude.

he wasn’t expecting the hand to close around his, but he made no move to separate as he was pulled along out of harm’s way, enjoying the temporary warmth. he wasn’t certain of claude’s words-- they went against everything byleth knew. there were many things he had learned since leaving the church that directly contradicted its teachings, but this was different still: everything changes, when byleth knew the exception.

he wasn’t sure how to address it, if it should even be addressed in this atmosphere. not all of his thoughts were supposed to be spoken the moment they arrived, it was just the moving on from them that proved difficult...

so wrapped up in his dour thoughts was byleth that he only noticed their hands were still attached when claude dropped them, and he looked curiously at claude’s sudden interest in the opposite side of the road. he looked too, and nothing was there. ..interesting.

claude was spared a probing question, about his sudden embarrassment or further questioning the nature of change byleth wasn’t yet sure, when they turned the corner in question and the scene suddenly changed. the low rumbling of people had been building as they approached, but byleth was so used to the white noise of busy school hallways he’d hardly noticed. now, it was impossible to ignore.

lights, colors, sounds, smells, there was so much to take in that for a moment, byleth simply stopped. everything around them was so energetic, so lively, so alien.. “it’s.. a lot to take in. i’ve never seen a place so vibrant.” he wasn’t sure yet if he liked it or not, but his first reaction wasn’t negative... just a bit overwhelmed. only just at the cusp of the festival, and yet, “i have no idea where to start.”

his hand twitched towards claude’s sleeve instinctively again, but he resisted, instead just shifting his body closer to the claude’s, the familiar in the face of so much unfamiliar. he couldn’t just stay passive, though, he couldn’t rely only on claude to shepherd him, it wasn’t fair. “we..” he tried to sort through what felt like a hundred sense experiences, to isolate one or even a dozen to focus on (uncomfortable but not unpleasant, a pressure he wanted to get away from but not so intensely as to interrupt their night), finally he landed on the scents of foods wafting through the area, too mixed to tell just what was being served, but at least it was something. “..could try some of that ‘junk food’ you were talking about..” he offered as a nudge of direction, uncertainty as plain in his voice as it was in his body language.

[etcinis]

emerges from the rubble like i just slept for 5 years and didn’t age a day

i didn’t abandon yall i just had a timeskip, quick someone get an eyepatch

[etcinis]

preynot·:

he supposes it shouldn’t be such a surprise that byleth is curious– everyone always is, naturally. it’s part of the mystery that comes with keeping to himself as much as he does, and claude just hums along in agreement with the statement.

the thing was, despite how endearing byleth is, there was that question of whether or not it was worth it to divulge much. blackwood likely wouldn’t follow claude into the next stage of his life, no matter how much he might treasure his time here; his plans for the future were far greater than anything he might do during his university years.

was byleth someone claude wanted to bring with him into that future, then?

the signal changes before claude answers, the silence stretching between them as he thinks. it’s not until they’ve crossed the street that claude speaks, tone different from his usual playfulness. “growing up, i didn’t really have to want for a lot. financially, i mean– everyone has problems, but there’s a scale to it all, y’know?” he gesticulates lightly as he speaks, although he isn’t looking directly at byleth.

“and most kids born with that kind of golden spoon in their mouths tend to be pretty blind to everyone below them. i’m not gonna say i’m not like the other guys,” he jokes, interjecting humor into his words, “but my parents raised me to be humble. to give back, in whatever way i could. philanthropy and all that.”

they turn a corner, and claude goes quiet again for a moment. “i’ve just always thought, ‘well, if we’re going to give back, shouldn’t we do more? is this really enough?’ most of my peers would disagree with that kind of sentiment, but i’ve never really fit in, anyway.” they reach another intersection, and claude turns to byleth with a simple, brilliant smile. “so i’m going to go further. and probably piss a lot of people off, but change never comes easy.”

at that, claude puts a finger to his lips with a wink, just as the light turns green.

there.

claude’s words were earnest, passionate, no hint of irony, and byleth listened with a fully captured interest. though he couldn’t fathom the golden spoon, coming from a rather humble background himself, the idea of giving back, providing as much as possible to others, resonated clearly. as he had suspected, it was at least a piece of the source. when claude spoke, he shined.

byleth wanted desperately to keep seeing it. and when claude turned to him, and smiled, he felt a smile cross his own lips unbidden-- a real one.

in his touch of awe he almost fell behind as the light turned green, and claude started walking, had to jog a little to catch up at the other end. his fingers caught the edge of claude’s sleeve as he neared-- an old (though not especially old) instinct from when he had still followed at his sister’s coattails day in and day out. “thank you, claude.. i understand the significance of this gift. i’ll keep it safe.” knowledge where others had none. a glimpse at his light.

“change...” claude’s path, however mysterious it remained, was one of change. byleth’s was one that wouldn’t change. what did that mean, then? "i hope i’m not wasting your time, with a friendship that may end by circumstance alone.” he didn’t want it to, of course, he had only just claimed this friendship by name today. it seemed a shame to discuss its death so soon. “i hope i can at least provide some happiness, until then.”

[etcinis]

preynot·:

a farmer’s market, then? “that’s not that far off, actually, but still different,” claude admits, waiting for byleth to fall into step by his side before starting their trek, leading the way. “i mean, i would assume as much, anyway. i’ve never actually been to any kind of festival in the states– they can’t be that much different.” and whether or not the festivals claude can recall from his childhood really count as the same thing in the first place is up for debate, but he won’t know until they get there.

if there’s one thing claude’s learned by now, though, it’s that he should never doubt how even the simplest things could be wildly different in different countries– especially on different continents. it baffled him when he found out they have vending machines for every product imaginable in japan when he visited with his father a few years past. it’s one of those things you’d never even expect variation in until you actually see it for the first time.

claude smiles at byleth’s words, attention being drawn away from his thoughts and back to the boy next to him. “you can talk to me anytime,” he teases, leaning over to gently nudge byleth’s shoulder with his own. “unless you have some pressing private questions for little ol’ me. too spicy for your supervisor to hear, worried it might burn their ears off?” he’s being a tease, but when is he not? they stop at the street light, and claude rolls back on his heels as he waits for the signal to change.

in the states. so he was from another country, or traveled so much it didn’t matter. byleth didn’t know enough about any country, even america, to really delve into that one yet, but he filed it away for later all the same. learning, perhaps, he took the shoulder-nudge and bumped lightly back as they walked, though he felt he couldn’t grasp the same playful energy claude put into it.

“from what i’ve heard... almost everything is a private matter to you.” in fact, a good handful of people had asked byleth details about claude after seeing how often the enigmatic man visited him, and hadn’t even been that surprised when byleth had come up empty (not, of course, that he would betray such trust, once it was given). “so i had hoped that, without a potential audience, i could learn more about you. as your friend.”

the question of what to ask, now that the moment was upon him, was one he had naturally considered in advance. he wasn’t trying to trick claude into revealing anything, had no strategy to it-- he could only ask what he was most curious about. that light... that shine.

“after you graduate... what will you do?” ‘do you know?’ was the natural follow-up.. but he couldn’t imagine claude not knowing.

[etcinis]

preynot·:

to call claude an ‘overthinker’ wouldn’t be entirely correct, but it wouldn’t necessarily be wrong, either. he’s a planner, the guy who always has a way out of every situation, the one you go to when you intend to bury a body.

feelings… are where it gets complicated. (aren’t they always?) claude is a notoriously private person, and that’s not just because he doesn’t want his past or family haunting him at blackwood– it’s near-impossible to get just about anything out of him, and he keeps most people at a comfortable arm’s length emotionally. sure, there’s some people he’s closer to than others, but claude is firm with his boundaries.

byleth isn’t someone claude planned for. it was never supposed to be like this– a little harmless flirting here or there, see if there was mutual interest, maybe have some fun, and that would be that.

instead, byleth is an enigma– a puzzle that doesn’t need to be solved, but claude likes watching the pieces slowly come together anyway. claude’s intentions never translated to begin with, and instead they started a rocky friendship that wormed it’s way into claude’s day-to-day life, until even sylvain was teasing him. going to go see that assistant again?

claude fights a little smile when byleth appears at the gate, hands shoved into his jacket pockets to ward off the autumn chill. yeah, what about it?

“there’s a street festival not too far from your place. it’s convenient enough, so i thought we’d check it out. ever been to one before?” admittedly, claude himself doesn’t actually have a lot of experience with america’s version of them– although it can’t be that different. it’s a pretty universal concept, after all, but it’ll be interesting to see what those differences actually are. “there’s gonna be a lot of junk food, though. don’t say i didn’t warn you!”

as he had suspected, claude looked different here. the stark lighting of the office did him no justice; the evening glow of streetlights much more suited him.

“i haven’t,” he answered, something he was too used to saying. eventually, he thought, his experiences might catch up to half of what others had, but for now he would have to burden his friend -- friend -- with his lack of experience once more. “i’ve been to.. a farmer’s market, to do some shopping. but if there’s junk food, it’s probably something different.” though he could see the appeal if it was like a farmer’s market, he’d quite enjoyed those forays.

“i’m happy..” he started before he had fully formed the thought, “that we’re walking. i was hoping for the opportunity to speak with you.” to peel back the layers, layers, layers, that made up someone like claude, or at least one or two of them. there were things he could learn by observation alone, but not nearly so many as he could listening. many students were more than willing to unload their feelings on byleth while they waited, but as many times as claude had come through the office, not a single layer had come off. the professional atmosphere, maybe, too much for comfort. now, maybe, maybe...

[etcinis]

1800fuckdads·:

It started when Felix was a child. His father wanted to do one of those ancestral DNA tests and discovered they belonged to some ancient tribe of warriors. As an attempt to bond with his sons, he brought them on a hunting trip, his father’s midlife crisis trying to get them back to their roots. To give an idea of the results of their fowl hunt: Rodrigue — 1, Glenn — 1, Felix — 5. Something about the spirit of the hunt resonated with Felix—feral, raw, natural—he didn’t give a shit about his family history but maybe he could feel it in his veins.

Keep reading

“i see...” he learned more of the world every day. byleth took the invitation and opened the fridge for a soda, but no sooner had he popped it open than set it down on the counter again, approaching the scene felix had laid out. “i haven’t,” he answered with a shake of his head. “i wouldn’t mind trying, if that’s your intention.”

felix’s words were still swirling around his mind, though, trying to parse just what that line in the sand could really mean. in the end, he couldn’t decide on his own. “if you were to peel back the skin of your leg, like this,” he indicated the rabbit’s leg in kind, “wouldn’t you have the same muscles underneath? don’t they serve the same purpose?”

he understood there was a different social connotation to killing (or eating, for that matter) humans, but just how far did that reach in reality? “humans and animals are just muscles and organs in different shapes, aren’t they? where does the humanity that makes it murder come from, then?”

[etcinis]

preynot·:

“i’ve shown you the videos i make, haven’t i?” he laughs. “sure, let me see your handle so i can follow you back.”

he lifts his phone to show, perhaps a bit too predictably, an entirely anonymous-looking twitter account, complete with no photo. the handle is even a nonsensical string of numbers. he has nothing to say for himself.

[etcinis]

preynot·:

“oh.” the selfie he took in the applebee’s bathroom, then. he leans over to peek. “i didn’t even know you had twitter.”

“felix made me an account. you were surprisingly easy to find. may i... follow you?”

[etcinis]

preynot·:

“you posted a picture of yourself. i like it.” it's still up on his phone.

[etcinis]

preynot‌:

he gets the distinct feeling someone’s talking badly about him. :(

[etcinis]

“claude is a master of psychological manipulation.” is he.. glowing with pride?

[etcinis]

@1800fuckdads​​

byleth was well aware of the trust involved when felix had given him a key to his home. the man was terribly careful in all his affairs, so byleth had treasured (and kept well-hidden) this piece of felix’s safety since he had gotten it. and it now allowed him some added convenience; when he had been invited over to see whatever new video game felix wanted to share with him, he was able to let himself in without being a bother.

slipping off his shoes as he entered, he gave a simple, “i’m here,” as warning before following the sounds of life to find his host.

“hm.” the sight of knives and blood and fur when he rounded the corner was an unexpected one, and though byleth hadn’t seen the like before, it felt perfectly in line with the man involved. “did you.. murder this one yourself, felix?”

[etcinis]

WARNING: i will be posting a starter soon that involves the aftermath of HUNTING. i will be tagging all posts in this thread with ‘GORE CW’ and ‘ANIMAL DEATH CW’ though the actual content may be rather minor. i wanted to make everyone aware ahead of time, so you have time to prep your blacklist as needed! thanks!

[etcinis]

preynot·:

@etcinis· – continuation of previous thread

it’s funny– for someone who’s thought about what-ifs so much the last month and a half, claude actually finds himself drawing blanks on what exactly he should do now that the time has come. it’s easy enough to think oh, maybe byleth would enjoy this! 

but now that they’re here, it takes him longer than it should to really settle on something.

there’s a street market in town, one of the many that occasionally swing through the area because of the bustling community around the university. it wasn’t far from where byleth lived, either, meaning they could simply walk over rather than have to drive more than necessary. claude’s waiting by one of those locked gates when he texts byleth, all freshened up for their outing.

[txt] i’m downstairs by one of the entry gates whenever you’re ready

[txt] the one with the big funny plant? that one

[txt] we’re gonna be walking, so make sure to grab a coat

was he meant to act differently, in different settings? it had sat on his mind since claude had left after their shared lunch, pressing at the back of his thoughts like an itch he couldn’t scratch. he knew, without question, that he would feel the same, as ever was the case. he knew, too, that this was why he had taken so long to realize claude’s intent, that the shallow pool of emotion byleth could draw from did not change much. the shift from the church to the university had been the most he had felt his entire life, and even then, it was only that he could experience so much more now. more, and nowhere near what he saw in those around him.

was he going to disappoint claude, by being the same now, as he was in the office? by not having the complex layers that fascinated byleth in everyone else?

by the appointed time, he had yet to come to a decision, and his instinctive desire to reach out to his sister had been put off too long-- as his finger hovered over the call button, claude’s texts came through, letting him know it was time to go. he slipped on his shoes, coat, bag just in case, making his way quickly downstairs.

“thank you for having me, claude.” if he was meant to act differently, he wouldn’t know where to begin, anyway. what was meant to change in a more casual atmosphere? ah.. perhaps he should have brought a gift for claude, some kind of memento.. “i’m looking forward to seeing your fun. what did you have in mind?”

[etcinis]

@1800fuckdads​: bring them to fight club and i'll train you. you may call me sensei if you like. it means swordlord

“felix... you only use one sword. i’ve seen it.”

[etcinis]

“four swords......”