luctor et emergo

somewhere between peace and strife

[eternal-ego]

THE BEGINNING · A SWEET ESCAPE

beautiful, beautiful. — to be honest, every hanok village is beautiful. the ambiance is no joke, if you visit korea you should go to hanok village(s)

Ps: Bukchon Hanok Village is a real residential district so we should keep quite and respect the residents.

Photographed by @rifdah.t In frame @nafilahsadiyah and ME Location Bukcho Hanok Village, South Korea Shot on Fujifilm xt-20 | xf35mm f/2

—(16/04/2019)

[eternal-ego]

locked in a sad day that i made on my own

[eternal-ego]

Black dust in orbit, Cascades down like a parachute Bricks on my shoulders This gravity hurts when you know the truth

I’m pulling my weight in gold Call me anxious, call me broke But I can’t lift this on my own Pulling my weight in gold Call me anxious, call me broke But I can’t lift this on my own We dreamt like martyrs I never thought I was bold enough You pushed me further And I take the blame for the both of us I’m pulling my weight in gold Call me anxious, call me broke But I can’t lift this on my own Pulling my weight in gold Call me anxious, call me broke But I can’t lift this on my own Oh, Universe, hold me up Tried your best, is it ever enough When it’s already dragging me down? I’m pulling my weight in gold Call me anxious, call me broke But I can’t lift this on my own Pulling my weight in gold Call me anxious, call me broke But I can’t lift this on my own

Songwriters: Ajay Bhattacharyya / Christopher Joseph Gallant Weight in Gold lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Cypmp

[eternal-ego]

A PECULIAR — MEM·OIR

a strange flower that blooms in between seasons, the morning star that hangs between days.

Photographed by @rifdah.t In frame @anityaputri Location Pantai Goa Cemara, Bantul, DI Yogyakarta Shot on Fujifilm xt-20 | xf35mm f/2

—(08/12/2018)

i love to takes photographs, every time i took photographs i feel like i'm in my own world. i could do anything i want. with a wild, exquisite fantasy i have in my mind, photographs could brings them out impeccably. since everybody has their own aesthetic, my photographs is far from being flawless. still and all, photography is a medium that brings out what's on my mind the best. and i love the process. still learning and will always learning to takes better photographs that have my own color in it.

if you guys likes my photographs, you can catch me through my instagram account @rifdah.t or simply follow my tumblr, i will try to upload more on tumblr since tumblr is baaackk (finally, lol)

[eternal-ego]

WHEN WOULD IT BE

Until the words “I long for you” “I miss you” “Take care” loses its color As if the long-time memories are like a Polaroid picture You remain in a corner of my heart

Until I start to long for the words “I’m sorry” “I was wrong” “Forgive me” I always think of the times I spent with you, always regretting and longing for them When I run into you sometimes, my breath stops

When we can be able to exchange warm greetings With a smile, as we ask about each other? When? When? When can we?

When I pace back and forth on the street we used to walk together Our little memories seem like they’re saying hello to me My cries rise to the edge of my neck, my breath stops

When we can be able to exchange warm greetings With a smile, as we ask about each other? When? When? When can we?

I’m just lonely right now, and we used to be happy When will I be able to stand in front of you, smiling as if nothing’s wrong? When can we be able to say hello, as we lock eyes, with smiles? If we can do that, I want to wait even if it’s like this

cr: popgasa.com

[eternal-ego]

DPR LIVE | JASMINE

you know I can paint the world sitting there in black and gold you’re the perfect chemical I gotta test I gotta know you know I’m no criminal but I could take your heart and go you’re the perfect chemical I gotta test I gotta gotta just let me just let me just let me just let me

Good cars, a lot of money I might not have but I can love you I can care for you And if you want We can get on a spaceship Fly across the night sky I can pick the stars and place them in your hands Just tell me, anything Coffee on a rainy day? Okay Shinsa? Hongdae? Apgu? Okay No make up in the morning? it’s okay it’s okay I’ll be getting it ready to fuse sitting on top of the world just cue missing a puzzle I swear it’s you

you know I can paint the world sitting there in black and gold you’re the perfect chemical I gotta test I gotta know you know I’m no criminal but I could take you heart and go you’re the perfect chemical I gotta test I gotta gotta just let me just let me just let me just let me

IF YOU LET ME BE THE CODE With any color you want I can color the sky, ocean and mountains with you IF YOU LET ME BE THE CODE Even all of our differences We can connect together take one If your new to this paint the world we can roll with this black and gold what to do with this chemical know your new to this If your new to this paint the world we can roll with this black and gold what to do with this chemical I gotta test I gotta gotta just let me just let me just let me just let me

just let me just let me just let me I could be the painter baby you could be my

we could be drunk on that love till we pass out yeah right here right now yeah, my hands on your pretty waist girl can’t we just dance now I could I could I could paint your beauty thats if you just let me just let me just let me just let me COMING TO YOU LIVE

you know I can paint the world sitting there in black and gold you’re the perfect chemical I gotta test I gotta know you know I’m no criminal but I could take you heart and go you’re the perfect chemical I gotta test I gotta

cr: popgasa

[langleavpoetry]

[eternal-ego]

Like A Star

Just like a star across my sky, Just like an angel off the page, You have appeared to my life, Feel like I'll never be the same, Just like a song in my heart, Just like oil on my hands, Honour to love you

Still I wonder why it is, I don't argue like this, With anyone but you, We do it all the time, Blowing out my mind, You've got this look I can't describe, You make me feel like I'm alive, When everything else is au fait, Without a doubt you're on my side, Heaven has been away too long, Can't find the words to write this song, Oh... Your love, Still I wonder why it is, I don't argue like this, With anyone but you, We do it all the time, Blowing out my mind, Now I have come to understand, The way it is, It's not a secret anymore, 'cause we've been through that before, From tonight I know that you're the only one, I've been confused and in the dark, Now I understand, I wonder why it is, I don't argue like this, With anyone but you, I wonder why it is, I wont let my guard down, For anyone but you We do it all the time, Blowing out my mind, Just like a star across my sky, Just like an angel off the page, You have appeared to my life, Feel like I'll never be the same, Just like a song in my heart, Just like oil on my hands 

—corinne bailey rae 

[eternal-ego]

📍 Bukit Teletubis, Bromo

—(02/09/2017)

[eternal-ego]

Last Traces of Summer

a very spontaneous short-escape brought us to a very beautiful landscape and my mind cannot escape from this last traces of summer

it was really an impulsive decision of ours, but it was full of laughter and love that we don't even have any regrets one of my best ever spontaneous trips! bcs of niciul, cen and teteh. when your bestfriend become your one and only sister's bestfriend, i couldnt ask for more.

2017 been a really dynamic year for me full of many implusive decisions, full of laughter that brighten up the year, and ofcourse full of many challenging obstacle(s). through up(s) and down(s) i met my ever-best-understanding-friends that i wont ever trade for anything else.

[eternal-ego]

📍 Tsim Sha Tsui, 尖沙咀, Hong Kong

—(25/07/2017)

[eternal-ego]

i got such a damn complicated mind i cant even tell anyone i cant even force myself to be more open and share my mind and afterall these ruckuss i made i still smile like an oh-so-out-going-person, what the fxxk.

리

[olearypoetry]

[eternal-ego]

i, sometimes, can't understand myself. at one point i found myself laughing at something not funny, the next i'm already on the verge of tears.

📍 Tsim Sha Tsui, 尖沙咀, Hong Kong

—(25/07/2017)

[eternal-ego]

Me: plis jangan jadi manusia yang terlalu emosional

Also me: *jadi manusia TEREMOSIONAL se-jagad-raya*

[eternal-ego]

My PRECIOUS, ‘Pengabdian Masyarakat’

I joined HMT PWK UGM last year, on 2016 and become the staff for the division of community service (?) (pengabdian masyarakat). Our division focuses on community and our contribution to the society as a student.

and this, is a glimpse of what we've done for the last few months in our Desa Binaan at Tegalrejo, Turi, Sleman. 

We have our weekly schedule for tutoring and study reading Quran. Not only that, we've other activity with the community such as 17-an Agustus to celebrates Indonesia's independance day, Workshop for gardening & parenting, and many more. Our Desa Binaan has it own potential, that is salacca! We learn to develop it and sell it. Our brand called GoodLak, means good salacca for good life! :D (enno please correct me if im wrong hehe). We've launched our first ever product; Brownlak! its a brownies with salacca in it! a very yummy brownie that you guys should try! :9 (marketing all the way~)

All I can say is that I love being a part of this division, and I really treasure every memories we've made. I've learnt so much with you guys! we still have a long way to go, so FIGHTING!!! 히히 💕👻

*actually this video was made for LPJ purposes, but I thought why not share it? xixi!

[eternal-ego]

I’m happy right now, so I’m nervous. Because there’s always the calm before the storm

Hyukoh | Tomboy