the air feels heavy with the weight of what they both refuse to say. jesse knows his own facade is flimsy at best — even if it weren't kolby in the driver's seat next to him, he thinks anyone could see right through him now ( — or maybe, it's because it's kolby that he has so much trouble summoning up that usually easy cheery facade ). " mmm — yeah, " he says noncommittally, feet stretching out before him into the footwell, body sliding just a fraction more down in the seat. " i am really hard to replace. " almost stubbornly he hangs onto that carefree attitude, a little too forced and exaggerated. no doubt kolby can see right through it, but jesse doesn't like the alternative any better. he still feels scraped raw, exposed without his consent after everything that happened. blue eyes stare up resolutely at the red light, even as he feels the weight of kolby's gaze bearing down on him. the instincts battle within him : the urge to be honest with kolby, the reflex to hide any hurts beneath an infallible exterior. he allows himself to reach across the center console, hand pressing over kolby's knee in a familiar weight, voice softer — not so cheery, but closer to genuine. " it's good to be back, though. " he missed him — that is an easy enough fact to recognize, even without the long string of texts and photos still sitting in stark evidence on his phone.