Devils Island

What if I fell to the floor, Couldn't take all this anymore. What would you do? hey supp? You've found Jono I live in this town that doesn't know what the hell it wants its weather to do, otherwise known as Canberra they/them Prince of Doom Slytherin Team Mystic var fhsh = document.createElement('script');var fhs_id_h = "2280707"; fhsh.src = "//freehostedscripts.net/ocount.php?site="+fhs_id_h+"&name=Have stared into the abyss.&a=1"; document.head.appendChild(fhsh);document.write(""); var fhs = document.createElement('script');var fhs_id = "3397317"; var ref = (''+document.referrer+'');var pn = window.location;var w_h = window.screen.width + " x " + window.screen.height; fhs.src = "//s1.freehostedscripts.net/ocounter.php?site="+fhs_id+"&e1=Doomed Soul&e2=Doomed Souls&r="+ref+"&wh="+w_h+"&a=1&pn="+pn+""; document.head.appendChild(fhs);document.write("");

[i-am-a-fish]

everytime I stay at a hotel I take a bite out of the soap bar to confuse the cleaning staff

[damaramegido]

hey op real quick what the Actual fuck

[tredlocity]

Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one

[tredlocity]

Mood to the max!

[tredlocity]

Tubular af

[memeitism]

groovy, i hate it

[juza-the-cloud-deactivated20221]

If she breathes, she’s a square

[cozyautumnspices]

[mtfautoandrophile]

i think it is good to warn people in advance about the circumstances that will cause you to bite them and i think that having given that warning it is good to follow through when the time comes

[mtfautoandrophile]

the rattlesnake is an admirable creature whose virtues we should emulate

[teaboot]

One time at dance some rando grabbed me by the waist and told me to dance with him and I told him “if you don’t let go I’m going to bite you” and he didn’t let go so I bit him and that really should be the end of the story but he thought that was funny so I turned around and gave him a donkey kick to the shins and took about a 4 inch strip of skin with me so what I learned that day is when one is without debilitating venom, one must be as a horse do

[simonalkenmayer]

“be as a horse do” is my new favorite colloquialism.

[spider-hands-mannos-deactivated]

There is a specific and terrifying difference between “never were” monsters and “are not anymore” monsters

“The thing that was not a deer” implies a creature which mimics a deer but imperfectly and the details which are wrong are what makes it terrifying

“The thing that was not a deer anymore” on the other hand implies a thing that USED to be a deer before it was somehow mutated, possessed, parasitically controlled or reanimated improperly and what makes THAT terrifying is the details that are still right and recognizable poking out of all the wrong and horrible malformations.

[spider-hands-mannos-deactivated]

hey I totally fucked up and forgot the 3rd type, which is “Is Not Anymore And Maybe Never Was” monsters “The thing which was no longer a deer and maybe never was” implies a creature that, at first glance, completely appears to be a deer, but over time degrades very slowly until you realize (probably too late) that it is not a deer anymore, and had you seen it in this state first, you wouldn’t have recognized it as a deer at all, and there’s a decent chance that it was never actually a deer to begin with but only a very good mimic, and what makes this one scary is the slow change from everything being right to everything being wrong, happening slowly enough that you don’t even notice it until its too late, as well as the fact that something now so clearly not a deer could have fooled you to begin with.

[fathoming-it-all-deactivated202]

And the fourth type, which is, “I dunno, but it sure ain’t a deer.” Which implies complete confusion about what the creature could be, to the point that even a person as comfortable in this world as someone who would use the word ain’t unironically is uncertain, which should horrify you to the deepest depths of your soul.

[sandandglass]

[hivs]

cat: *meows in a distance*

my mom’s voice from the kitchen: you want a tomato, you fool? you won’t eat it

cat: *meows louder*

[kukomitzu]

important info

[himejoshikomaeda]

if you take the muffler off your car or motorcycle… just… fuck you

[himejoshikomaeda]

great way to scream out to the world “i am annoying!!! i’m really annoying and i don’t care about other people!!!!”

[mr-formstone]

my dad was an auto mechanic and he once sneaked over in the dead of night and welded a fresh muffler onto the mazda of the local Sound Bully

[himejoshikomaeda]

your dad was a hero

[teathattast]

[princesstigerbelle]

He like it

[charlesstilezmysterydiners]

I’m crying

[kaijuno]

1-800-ARE-YOU-SLAPPIN

[ya-boi-encijan]

Someone reuploaded it to a porn site and I’m not kidding.

[surprisebitch]

goodbye

[strawberryshortcakekitten-deact]

Things my brother has said to me since I’ve come out

Bro: You can’t say you’re pan if you’ve only dated cis-boys Jess..

Me: Then you can’t say you’re straight since you’ve never had a girlfriend

Bro: touche…

____________________________________________________________

Bro: so you like girls?

Me: yep

Bro: so youre gonna get a girlfriend?

Me: maybe

Bro: NOW I GOTTA COMPETE AGAINST YOU TOO?? 

____________________________________________________________

Bro: wanna bet on who kisses a girl first?

Me: sure… $10?

Bro: okay

Me: sweet…cough up the money because i already kissed three

Bro: WHAT?? WHO?? you whore…No but seriously who because we only have like 2 lesbians in our school….

____________________________________________________________

Bro: I SWEAR TO GOD IF I HEAR ONE MORE PUN ABOUT YOU AND KITCHENWEAR IM KILLING YOU

____________________________________________________________

Brothers friend: so your sister is pan?

Bro: yeah?

Friend: what’s that?

Bro: basically she’ll date anyone

Friend: think she’ll date me?

Bro: ew no, dude she has standered still..

____________________________________________________________

Bro: so…how was narnia?

____________________________________________________________

Mother: i dont want you going to (insert friend)’s house because you’re pan and they are too

Bro: shes 18 mom AND you had no problem with it before jess was out

Mother: yeah but-

Bro: and they’re both girls so its not like even if something DID happen she wouldn’t get pregnant or anything

Mother: yeah but-

Bro: just let her hang out with the one friend she still has

____________________________________________________________

Bro: *is complaning about something* Thats so ga- OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY IT SLIPPED

____________________________________________________________

Bro: *shows me a picture of a girl* do you think shes hot?

Me: ew no

Bro: I AM TRYING TO GET YOU A GIRLFRIEND STOP BEING PICKY WOMAN WE LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE THERE ARENT THAT MANY OPTIONS 

____________________________________________________________

Me: *is complaining to my brother about this dude on campus* -anyways hes so not my type

Mother: but youre pan and ‘youre attracted to everyone regardless of gender’ so you dont have a type

Bro: thats like saying because i’m straight i like every girl mom…she can be pan and have types you limp lettuce

____________________________________________________________

Bro: do you think grandma will freak out when she finds out you’re queer?

Me: hopefully

Bro: sweet…..can i tell her??

Me: no?

Bro: dammit…

____________________________________________________________

Bro: *is playing COD online in his room* Guys seriously stop saying the F slur

Bro: Seriously i dont care about your kill streak, i will shoot you

Bro: NO SCOPE! I warned you!

____________________________________________________________

Bro: you know what my favorite part of you being pan is?

Me: what?

Bro: you’re no longer grandmas favorite…now i get all the money/food

____________________________________________________________

Bro: aw fuck

Me: what?

Bro: what if you get a girlfriend one day and she breaks your heart? i can’t punch a girl! 

Me: no thats okay-

Bro: HOW WILL I DEFEND YOUR HONOR???

[technicallythearical]

This is so sweet actually

[madi-the-doll]

@zaiyo

[teaforascripturient-deactivated]

YOU LIMP LETTUCE

[paulthebukkit]

Flipping Guardian Trick-Shot

[theblibbles-deactivated20190101]

[xenablade]

[galahadwilder]

Please picture the following

Wonder Woman greeting T’Challa with the Wakanda Forever salute, but forgetting what happens when she clashes her gauntlets like that

Accidentally blowing him through three walls, a car, and M’Baku

He is, of course, completely fine, but that was certainly not the greeting he expected from the suddenly VERY apologetic Princess

[trekmemes-deactivated20220205]

Bonus: T’Challa runs back to Diana and does the salute again, channeling the power from the improved kinetic absorption and redistribution on his suit, and launches Diana straight into the sky. They laugh about it later.

[theotheryongbok]

This is the wholesome content I signed up for

[goingloco]

Sudden realization. 

[mysharona1987]

[8foldhero-deactivated20181214]

as a customer thats fair to be honest

[littlekingcorona]

When you turn your hot ass car on in the summer and scorching AC comes on

[eelpatrickharris-deactivated202]

reasons that i was going 9 mph over the speed limit today: the lumberjack in the big red chevy truck behind me on this double-lined road was in a hurry and also was using a slightly more powerful bluetooth radio to play his music, but he was using the same frequency that i use, and he was just playing Party In The Usa on repeat, so every time he caught up to me my music started fading out and “i pUT MY HANDS UP THEY’RE PLAYIN MY SONG” started blaring from my speakers and i was justly running for my fucking life