I AM GRATEFUL. It snuck up on me this year. Here's to 19 years of not being a slave to my addictions. I will always share this because it always hits me in my soul when I remember on this date... 19 years ago last night I decided I was either going to stop drinking and drugging or I was going to end it. I had used all the excuses and none of them mattered anymore. Drinking, coke, speed and opiates. Addiction had gone beyond me making a mess of my life. It had expanded into causing chaos with everything and everyone around me. I just wanted it to stop. I had been to the rooms before and I gave it one more try. I thought "if I hear something that strikes me I will ask that person to be my sponsor". And that something came from an ex-con who learned to read by reading the Big Book while incarcerated. A guard taught him. Bless that guard forever. CT sat me down and asked me what I was willing to do to get sober and I didn't even have to think about it. I said "ANYTHING". And I meant it. I didn't care if I never had fun again. I didn't care if I lost all my friends. I didn't care if I would never enjoy music the same way. I just wanted to stop causing pain and distrust. And I was convinced that I could not make it without a drink. I was TERRIFIED! I put one foot in front of the other and held on to hope and mostly by grace and good people I am here today. Free. Always knowing I am one drink away from certain incomprehensible demoralization. Feels good to have a new lease on life. Even with Covid. https://www.instagram.com/p/Cnr2zV5LACU/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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