When youâre depressed (or anxious, or triggered), staying in all weekend, not answering the phone, binge-watching TV, and not getting dressed sounds great. It might even sound like âself-care.â And aspects of it can be self-care. But self-care is not just about soothing yourself in the moment, itâs about setting up the supports and structures that let you be okay enough in your day-to-day life. So while depression says âletâs watch Buffy instead of doing the laundryâ the reality is that tomorrow youâre going to wake up to clothes everywhere, nothing clean, and one more thing you havenât doneâwhich will add to the guilt and shame that seem to come hand-in-hand with depression.
On the other hand, depression-challenging behaviours are hard and not fun in the moment, but set you up to a) have small victories (SO important when dealing with mental health issues), b) have some structure and routine in your life, and c) set up the support and structure to let you deal with the root of your issues or cope with issues that arenât going away anytime soon.
Self-Care Minimums and Dealing With Depression | The Span of My Hips
yes yes yes!!!! omg!!!! i feel like i gave into this âself care dont do anythingâ culture so much that i didnt realize how damaging it is. sometimes self care is doing whatâs best for yourself in the future, not just in the moment.
Self care is looking after your inner toddler. Some times you need to look at the kid and say âyou know what, youâve had a tough day, youâre teething, youâre having the Terrible Twos, whatever⊠sit down and watch cartoonsâ. And sometimes you need to say âno, kid, that is enough cartoons, now is cleaning up the room and going to fucking bed timeâ, and sometimes you need to adult the fuck up and make sure thereâs a supply of food, clean clothes, play dates in the calendar, and all that stuff, if you want your inner toddler to be happy and healthy.
The worst bit is, you are both the toddler and the adult. It sucks. You gotta be kind to yourself, from both directions, and forgive yourself the fuckups.
this is all true, but you also need to be aware of your own tendencies â do you tend to slack, or do you tend to push? or do you binge on both? iâm the last type â i push until i break, and then i slack until someone digs me out of my mud hole by main force. itâs hard to balance work and rest even when youâre healthy, and when youâre emotionally and/or cognitively disabled, itâs one hell of a tightrope walk. so remember that, while you will feel better if you have clean laundry, the laundry is for your benefit, not the other way around. if you find yourself borrowing from tomorrowâs health to do todayâs chores, take that pyjama day. but if you find yourself living in your pjâs to the point where finding your shoes is an upsetting change of routine, itâs time to apply some willpower.
