tlc > bastille

I grade papers.

[anotherrpmemeblog]

Ask my muse “Wed, Bed, Behead”

Give my muse three names and they will say which one they will wed, which one they’d bed and which one they’d behead.

[c-haversham]

“First the satchel and now swiping right on me on Tinder. What’s going on here, huh?”

[eugreene-blog]

“This has been a very bad series of unfortunate events.”

[helenahunts]

I didn’t think it was weird. You’re cute, I’m cute, what’s the big deal?

[eugreene-blog]

You’re a student, aren’t you?

[dxisylxws-blog]

“ so, does this mean i’m not getting a good meal and sex? cuz if you’re using tinder that’s all you’re looking for. “

[eugreene-blog]

“No no, no no no. That’s not why I was using it. That’s not what this is about. You won’t be getting..either of those things from me. Especially not the last one. Nope.”

[jakeharveys-blog]

How medieval are you? Nonetheless, I think the app is necessary for you — I mean if I was a woman and were to see you stood at a bar during a night out sporting that same old satchel then I’d run for the nearest exit too. At least behind a Tinder profile they tend to only see from shoulders upwards, and the rest is left to their imagination.

[eugreene-blog]

I wasn’t even talking to you.

[dvlliancing-deactivated20200623]

“Yeah, what else is new? Told ya, I wasn’t accusin’ anythin’. Just offerin’ a helpful tip so this doesn’t happen again. I should probably change that one though. S’at a concert, kinda far away. Easy mistake.” 

[eugreene-blog]

“Is it safe to assume you want to forget this entire thing as much as I do? The concert thing is what drew me in, I couldn’t tell who it was, but I appreciated the stage set up.”

[schottssfired-deactivated201708]

You know most girls on Tinder just use it as a scam to get a free dinner right? That’s not me, but it is a fun fact to shift this from being too awkward.

[eugreene-blog]

I..didn’t know that at all actually. I thought it was like eharmony without all the bells and whistles. I’m clearly app challenged. 

[ro-rivera-blog]

Oh shit, I should probably delete that, and you should probably raise your age range a bit.

[eugreene-blog]

I’m deleting the app immediately because it’s been three days and I’ve already embarrassed myself enough to last a lifetime. Thank you for the tip though. Do me a favor and pretend this never happened?

[dvlliancing-deactivated20200623]

“S’a good thing ya weren’t holdin’ a dog. M’just gonna say that. Y’know– an’, don’t take this the wrong way or anythin’, ‘cause m’not tryin’ t’accuse ya of anythin’ here and m’flattered, really. ‘Cept I probably shouldn’t be flattered if ya don’t even know how to work the darn thing, so m’sure it was nothin’ more than a simple mistake, but– y’know they show people’s ages on there, right?“

[eugreene-blog]

“I missed some of that, wow your accent is thick. But I’m not creepy, I don’t prey on young girls. That’s the accusation you’re dancing around, isn’t it? I was just focusing on your picture. No, no, I take that back. That doesn’t sound good either. This was all a very bad mistake.”

[julescaprice-deactivated2016100]

To be honest I didn’t know that I had the app..

[eugreene-blog]

“But you were on it..”

[dvlliancing-deactivated20200623]

“Uh– you were– you were wearin’ sunglasses and the baseball cap, I didn’t realize– goodness gracious, m’so sorry. An’ so embarrassed.”

[eugreene-blog]

“I was trying to look attractive. My friend told me if I really wanted girls to swipe right to hold a dog too, but I couldn’t find one on short notice. I didn’t think this through. I’ll end up matching with students constantly.”

[eugreene-blog]

I didn’t mean to match with you on Tinder. It was weird, I know. I just got the app, I barely know what the swiping means.

[tjtavares-blog]

“Dude, you think I give a shit about the life of some bored teacher? If he wants the day off to go throw up on a rollercoaster at Cedar Point, good for him.” TJ looked puzzled for a moment. “We have a library?” he asked, with a tone that left it unclear whether he was serious or joking. “Yeah, uh, well, the list is kinda long? And I don’t know her name, exactly so…”

[eugreene-blog]

“Right. My mistake. Yes, we do in fact have a library. If you really can’t figure out who the girl was, I suggest you take a visit there. You’re not getting out of doing your homework when you have time and the resources to complete it. That would be special treatment.”

[beatricemdupont]

“I don’t know about wrong, but I would for sure question if you are crazy.” The blonde chuckled. “Nah, I am joking. I guess everyone is allowed to feel the way they want to about something, this trip included. I am, I am really glad I decided to come.”

[eugreene-blog]

“Were you on the fence about coming?”

[tjtavares-blog]

“That uh – Math? It’s Math you TA, yeh? Anyway, I don’t know where my copy of my textbook went, so I was wondering if I could just y’know, skip the homework due next week until I find the chick I probably loaned it to. That’s cool, ain’t it?”

[eugreene-blog]

“I..TA astronomy and astrophysics...Oh wait! Wait. I did step in to help a professor with his math class recently. He didn’t feel like coming in that day. And I wasn’t supposed to tell you that. Forget that last part. The school library has a copy of all textbooks on hand, I’m afraid that excuse isn’t going to get you anywhere. It’s the my dog ate my homework of the new age. It isn’t due until next week, would it really take you that long to track down one girl?”

[c-haversham]

 “Ours, huh? I can handle more, and please, call me Christina. Pretty sure there’s nothing illegal about that. Anyway, for someone who barely knows me, you’re spot on. Takes more to make my day but, hey, further details are confidential. Thank you, by the way. Have I stumbled upon a bag connoisseur now? It’s still a man purse.”

[eugreene-blog]

“Ours, yes. That’s what I get for not being prepared. I think it takes more than a simple birthday wish to make someones day, it was a safe assumption. Either way you’re welcome, I hope you have a memorable one. You haven’t, but I find myself explaining the difference between a satchel and a purse on a daily basis. You learn a few things. As long as there’s more emphasis on the man part of that phrase, I’m fine with it.”

[elizabeth-newhouse-blog]

“You must have been one crazy college student,”Elizabeth smiled up at him at his statement of not drinking. “I have this crazy weird obsession with indulging in every possible meal I can while traveling. I love local foods of almost every place I go to, and I promise myself to take at least one cooking class while I’m there to really get the feel of all the flavor. But I haven’t found one here yet,” she spoke before the two fell into a brief sentence of awkwardness. “You’re fine,” she winked up at him, meaning it both literally and figuratively.

[eugreene-blog]

“Don’t make fun of me, I got wild and crazy in my day. It happened.” Nodding his head, he did his best to try and make it seem like he believed it, even if it was obvious it wasn’t true. “That doesn’t sound crazy weird to me, it actually sounds really interesting. What all have you eaten while you’ve been here? Are there no classes available or is it a matter of finding one that interests you?” He knew what she meant by the comment, the action going along with it making it hard to ignore. “Don’t..do that. You’re not supposed to wink at me.”