[tastefullyoffensive]

[hurryputter-blog]

And thank you, Mr. Mosby. For taking care of me all these years.

[buttpregnant]

the relationship between these two was far more interesting than just about anything disney channel has ever produced

[pinkandtonic]

he was the father figure in her life  because her dad was never around. Im crying 

[femgermania-blog]

THIS FUCKING SCENE

THESE FUCKING TWO

FIRST YOU THOUGHT THE CALL WAS GOING TO BE SOMETHING STUPID LIKE SHE FORGOT TO TIE HER SHOELACES OR SOME SHIT

THEN SHE TURNS AROUND AND DROPS THIS FUCKING BOMB

OH MY GOD DO I CRY

[pettycentral]

[bajn]

???they’re using imessage

[generic-unnoticeable-person-here]

Im her

[dntgetmad]

I had to post this whole thread because this is the definition of a wholesome post. 😭😂💕🔑

[americadivided-deactivated20170]

This is beyond cute and innocent. I love it 😭

[midwestlo]

Very pure, I love it 💕

[teesadutta]

1.23.17

[teesadutta]

1.23.17

[rrozeselavy-deactivated-deactiv]

so the thing about my family is that we have two ancestors on my dad’s side who were buried in france, where I currently live. one died in the spanish civil war, and one died prior doing…we don’t know what. but he somehow managed to get buried in père lachaise. 

so anyhow, my gran sends me a message like “pls put flowers on ur uncle samuel’s grave because he’s gone over a century with none and it will make the ghost mad if he hasn’t already” because my family spends time in europe but never long enough to go all the way to père lachaise and give ya boy samuel jr. his death rites. so im like “ok gran I can do that” bc im a good grandson and you do not fuck with gran she doesn’t DESERVE THAT 

i figure out which plot he’s on and ask someone specifically where you can find uncle samuel jr. and they tell me where and so I arrive at the junction and. 

HE GONE. 

WHERE DID YOU GO UNCLE SAMUEL. 

*celine dion’s smash hit “my heart will go on” playing in the distance* 

in other words either someone stole my entire great great uncle samuel or he has risen again, ready to party in paris for all of eternity. 

[palindrome-mystery]

You’re pretty chill about a corpse disappearing.

[rrozeselavy-deactivated-deactiv]

My guy, my dude, he’s been dead since 1851. He could be anywhere. He does what he wants.

[wabisabiforrobots]

[gasparo73]

The most “says it all” illustration I’ve seen all year.

[loudman1]

P

[xionin]

Reblog the hell out of it, then. Notes for daaaaaaays.

[lynnryates]

again, because censorship sucks.

[toiletoftheworld]

Save it to ur phones and get it printed and spread it around town 👌

[thatadult]

[glumshoe]

my uncle

-is allergic to chocolate -is physically incapable of laughter (it comes out as a hiss, like steam escaping a pipe) -has weird long vampire teeth -once led a chemical attack on some college students who had bullied his high school chemistry class -named his bicycle Tom Bombadil -got hired twice for the same job as himself and his fake identical twin because his boss wouldn’t hire him full time -is the only member of my family to have shown me open and unconditional support -is a clean-cut nerd… who used to be a psychedelic Deadhead and follow them around on tour -enjoys snacking on an exercise formula called “goo”; his favorite flavor is “plain”. Plain goo. He gave me a box of it for Christmas once and it’s as gross as it sounds. -cannot touch mangos -teaches meditation seminars at his Buddhist temple -has begun studying magic -used to be obsessed with cults, especially Scientology, and would just… spy on their temples -is so fucking weird -used to drive a car that he’d covered entirely in plastic lizards, until someone stole it -is terrified of the flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz and still has nightmares about them

[glumshoe]

-is sending me on a roadtrip to the National Radio Quiet Zone for fun and education

[glumshoe]

-showed up to a family outing downtown this morning, wearing nylon shorts and expensive leather Oxford formal shoes -cried himself to sleep as a child because he desperately wanted a pet alligator -has experimented with god knows how many psychoactive substances…. For Science -is a literal masochist, as discovered this afternoon, when he told me all about how he’s addicted to the “excruciating pain and unexpected pleasure” of physical therapy -has feet so long he has to get shoes custom made for him - they have, in the past, been mistaken for clown shoes -once took his girlfriend on a date to lick the St. Louis Arch, in winter, and later revealed that he only framed it as a date ‘cause he was afraid of going alone in case his tongue got stuck to the metal -told me that he loved how bananas made his whole throat feel tingly, was surprised to find out that bananas are not supposed to have this effect -was disappointed that I did not bring a book on demon conjugation to the family reunion, because he wanted to compare it to his own translation -got banned from going down a slide today because he was dripping wet and had clearly been swimming…. he was just really sweaty from climbing the stairs

[glumshoe]

-sent me a check but forgot my legal name and put my nickname on it instead (it can’t be deposited and he hasn’t sent another)

[glumshoe]

this is what he wore to a family outing downtown

[glumshoe]

He showed up to our Christmas Eve dinner wearing a dress shirt, fancy slacks, and flip flops. All he ate was a bowl of smoked oysters.

[thatcandleontheflooroverthere-d]

@bunsuh this was a trip from start to finish.

[bitchsides]

one of my biggest fears is dying after i suck a dick…. like once i watched Law & Order SVU & this dead girl had just sucked dick and had a bunch of semen in her stomach….. if they found me dead with semen in my stomach my mom would kill herself just so she could meet me in hell and beat my ass

[hellnhonor]

ok but what about dying while someone is sucking your dick ? It REALLY happened to a fucking PRESIDENT OF FRANCE, Felix FAURE (1841 - 1899) 

this fucker here

had a fucking attack while his mistress (it wasn’t his fucking wife imagine the scandal) was giving him surely the best blowjob he ever experienced and he died when he reached orgasm

His Mistress Marguerite Stenheil was soon after given a nickname who was also a pun “pompe funèbre” which usually mean mortician I think, but can be understood here as “mortal vacuum” okay I’ll never get over this fact I’m always fucking pissing myself 

google the shit if you don’t believe me

how do I know this ? oh freaking simple I just happen to share the same fucking surname as this classy dude

yeah

[einsteinsroses-blog]

OH MY GOD THIS IS THE MOST EDUCATIONAL AND HILARIOUS POST I’VE READ

[7mangoes]

may your ass get fatter and your heart get wiser in 2017

[chxnky-spice]

May your wallet get thicker and soul become heavy in 2017

[mmshawty]

may your skin get clearer and your love reciprocated in 2017

[hauntedconstellations]

Reblog for this to come true

[bluhsh]

[hanpoop]

You’d like this :)♡

[nya-kin]

[mrmosebyslut-blog]

OMG

[ttheseuscamander]

the queen strikes back

[theoldness]

[w-r-o-u-g-h-t]

this “bon appetit” meme has turned into some sort of bizarre telephone game where each incarnation sounds more and more different than the original. in what way does “bon appetit” sound like “osteoporosis”

[lady-dainty]

i don’t know but it’s cracking me up every time i even think about it

[wearejustvisiting]

guys guys guys

‘osteoporosis’ is a disease in which bone mass decreases

so they mean fucking

“Bone Atrophy”

[earthdad]

when someone really cute calls you cute first