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thegreatdeepnorth

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itslatingirl

Instagram: @alinevissoto 🌙

brooklynsul

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High Schooler (based off of Jamaica Kincaid’s “Girl”) Finish all your weekend homework before Monday morning and submit them on google classroom; do your laundry on Tuesday; put them in the dryer before you fall asleep so you have a cute outfit to wear the next day; spend time with your friends after school; wash your hands before taking out your contacts; when buying your notebooks, be sure to get the ones with the plastic covers, because that way they won’t fall apart halfway through the first semester; pre-read the section before hand so you’re not lost when it’s taught in your AP class; is it true you complain about your life on Twitter?; always eat lunch on your side of the cafeteria so the seniors won’t get mad when you sit by the windows; when taking tests try your hardest and not like the slacker you are so bent on becoming; don’t complain about your life on Twitter; you mustn’t speak to the lacrosse boys, not even when they ask if you are going to the Beave for their game; don’t text in the hallways— admin will follow you; but I don’t complain about my life at all and never on Twitter; this is how to write a thesis statement; this is how to write an analytical paragraph for the thesis you have just written; this is how to revise your end of term paper when you see your grades falling so to prevent yourself from looking like the slacker I know you are so bent on becoming; this is how you please your parents with your report card; this is how you please your parents with your choice of colleges; this is how you decide your career– far from the house, because home is where the memories of your childhood are; when studying for the SATs, make sure you study everyday or else it will make your brain spin while taking it; this is how you solve a problem on the math homework; this is how you solve a problem on the math quiz; this is how you solve a problem on the AP math exam; this is how you smile to someone you don’t like very much; this is how you smile to someone you don’t like at all; this is how you smile to someone you life completely; this is how you write your hook sentence in your English free-write; this is how you write your hook sentence in your English paper; this is how you write your hook sentence in your college essay; this is how you write your hook sentence in your first college course; this is how to schedule your classes so they are challenging, and this way colleges won’t recognize immediately the slacker I have warned you against becoming; be sure to wash your face every day to rid it of grease, even if it is with that acne medication that burns your eyes; don’t pretend as if you know everything— you are not in the top 10% of your class, you know; don’t kiss random guys at parties— you might catch something; don’t accuse your best friend of being a bad person, because it might not be her fault at all; this is how to create good relationships with your teachers; this is how to create good relationships with your peers, this is how to create good relationships with your parents; this is how to make good decisions to leave the parties when you don’t feel safe; this is how to make good decisions to leave the parties before the intoxicated teenaged boy doesn’t understand the word “no”; this is how to make trustworthy friends; this is how to throw back the friends you know you couldn’t trust with even the knowledge of your middle name, and that way something bad won’t fall on you; this is how to bully a man; this is how a man bullies you; this is how to love a man, and if this doesn’t work there are other ways, and if they don’t work don’t feel too bad about giving up; this is how to relieve stress if you can’t take it anymore, and this is how to run and avoid the repercussions of the panic attack that follows; this is how to make ends meet; always ensure that you are doing your own work; but what if the teacher doesn’t believe that I didn’t plagiarize?; you mean to say that after all you are really going to be the kind of student who the teacher convicts of cheating?

k.s.h (11/9/15 10:34pm)