POISON

"God made me a cannibal to fix problems like you!" Horror lover, True Crime Documentary, Sci-Fi lover, obsessed with The Terminator franchise, FOODIE! Also obsessed with The Incredible Hulk!

[loveliedoll]

[evac]

[evac]

Back in March I went to another state I’ve never visited before in order to visit my little sister. I was only gone for 4 days, and throughout that time….you called me and texted me. We stayed up into the wee hours of the night talking about “US” and where we were heading. By this point we hadn’t spoken much so I figured we were really over. But once you remembered I was leaving town you reached out to me. During one of our late night conversations you said “I hate that you are thousands of miles away from me right now…..I never want you to be that far away from me, I need to be able to come get you and see you.” And of course me being the hopeless romantic that I try to suppress and unalive. I melt and smile at the thought of how you are suffering from me not being there. The fact you even said that in the first place.

I told you how my mother over heard one of our fights and you went into full on panic mode major! Because getting/having the parental unit’s approval means the most to you. You make promises to do better and be better and do more self healing/work. On my last day of visiting my sister you had excitement in your voice. I NEVER had a man who was excited to see me and ready to greet me once I arrive home.

Once we got back home you came over IMMEDIATELY! You were at my front door in what felt like less than 10 mins. (I guess that helps when you literally live so close to my grandma’s house) you smiled at me the whole time wanting to sit right next to me on the sofa, but you maintained your cool in the single chair and you prepared yourself. When you seen my mother get up from the sofa you stopped her and you spoke directly to her looking her in the face and you apologized for how you treated me, you apologized for how badly you talked to me. You told my mother how much you love me and for how long you’ve felt that way about me and you didn’t ever want to treat me poorly. You said you respected my mother and therefore you needed to do better at respecting me and you vowed to do so. You vowed to do whatever it takes to make me happy and feel safe and keep me in your life. My mother looked at you and said her peace and said she will see for herself if you actually keep your word.

Then we went over to your house where we could talk more openly in private without my family interfering. You openly expressed your feelings for me and how much you wanted to keep me, you expressed what you feel when we go weeks not talking. You said you talk to the most high about me and what you should do about me. And you feel as if the most high was talking to you and told you I was the one you are supposed to be with. And you didn’t want to screw up anymore. You cried for me, in front of me, and I cried because of the mix feelings. Then I had to tell you my child’s dad was coming into town to see our son. And naturally you felt concerned and mostly uncomfortable about that idea. You assumed I would get back with him, you wanted to be there when he arrived at my grandmas house. You wanted to “chin check” him (verbally) to make sure he understood that I belonged to you. It felt noble to me but I reassured you that I could handle it and it will be fine. Then you said that one line that tugged at my heart strongly. “I’m afraid you are going to leave me!” You said it in a concerned way you said it with all seriousness in your voice, you said it like you were about to cry again. I looked at you and once again reassured you that wouldn’t happen. I can’t look at my child’s dad the same way ever again.

The next day you came to see me at my job, you stayed for a long while, you witnessed my son’s dad let him down once again! You witnessed him bail on him without even feeding him breakfast as promised. You witnessed me crying angry tears, me getting seriously pissed the hell off at the level of betrayal and neglect he showed our son. You heard the pain in my voice from the angry venting. You then Calmed me and told me to come over after I showered and changed and packed a bag. I listened….. at your house you told me you will be a better man for me the man I needed, and you would be a better role model for my son. You will pick up the role as the father figure for my son since his own dad failed miserably. I cried more and just nodded and said “OK”.

That one sleep over night turned into my son and I never leaving at all. We now live with you, and we have magically taken our relationship to the next level and I’m learning so much about myself I wouldn’t have thought about if the situation didn’t present itself. And it’s somehow making us stronger. If there’s a debate or disagreement you can’t stand the idea of me going to bed angry at you. And you’ve done so much for me. I’ve bonded with your sister and your mother and it makes you so happy and more reassured that you made the right choice in not letting me go. That I’m to be YOUR WIFE!

[thoughtkick]

“Butterflies cannot see their wings. But the rest of the world can. - You. You are beautiful and while you may not see it, we can.”

— Unknown

[evac]

Hello, Sorry if this offends you, I’d like you to be my text buddy just letting you know my intentions In case you will be interested. we could talk terms and weekly allowance later just basically paying you for your time. No sex or nude pics involve in this. Get back to me if you’re interested.

Uuuuuh not quite sure how to respond. Lost for words

[vondutchcouture]

[wherepetalsbecomeprayer]

Incense smoke direction & meaning :

[reachingstardust]

Incense Meanings

African Violet

Burned for protection and to promote spirituality within the home.

Amber Love

comfort, happiness and healing.

Ambergris

Dreams, aphrodisiac

Angelica

Protection, harmony, integration, insight, understanding, stability and meditation.

Anise

Emotional balance.

Apple Blossom

Happiness, love and friendship.

Basil

for Concentration, assertiveness, decisiveness, trust, integrity, enthusiasm, mental clarity, cheerfulness, confidence, courage to attract fidelity, love, good luck, sympathy, and wealth.

Bay

to facilitate the psychic powers, and to induce prophetic dream visions.

Bayberry

Protection, prosperity, happiness, control and to attract money.

Benzoin

Astral projection, purification, clears negative energy, emotional balance, eases sadness, depression, weariness, grief, anger and anxiety.

Bergamot

for Money, prosperity, uplifting of spirits, joy, protection, concentration, alertness, confidence, balance, strength, courage, motivation and assertiveness

Blue Berry

to keep unwanted influences away from your home and property.

Cardamom

Mental clarity, concentration, confidence, courage, enthusiasm and motivation.

Carnation

Protection, strength, healing, love and lust, traditionally used for healing.

Cedar

Burned for purification, to stimulate or strengthen the psychic powers, attract love, prevent nightmares, healing, purification, protection, money, balance, grounding, clarity, insight and wisdom.

Chamomile

harmony, peace, calm, spiritual, and inner peace.

Cherry

to attract and stimulate love.

Cinnamon

Stimulation, wealth, prosperity, business success, strength, lust, healing, to attract money, stimulate and strengthen the psychic powers and to aid in healing. To gain wealth and success.

Citron:

Burned in rituals to aid healing and also to strengthen psychic powers.

Citronella

Cleansing, warding off, healing.

Clove

Pain relief, intellectual stimulation, business success, wealth, prosperity, divination, exorcism, protection, eases fears, improves memory and focus.

Coconut

Burn for protection and purification.

Copal

for love, purification, uplifting spirits, protection, spirituality, and to attract love.

Cypress

strength, comfort, healing, eases anxiety and stress, self-assurance, confidence, physical vitality, willpower and concentration.

Damiana

Burned to facilitate psychic visions.

Dittany of Crete

astral projection and divination.

Dragon’s Blood

protection, purification, courage, dispel negativity, attract love, enhance psychic awareness.

Elecampane

Burned to strengthen the clairvoyant powers and scrying abilities.

Eucalyptus

Healing, purification and protection.

Frankincense

Spirituality, astral strength, protection, consecration courage, dispel negativity, aid to meditation, induce psychic visions and attract good luck.

Frangipani

Burn to brighten your home with friendship and love.

Gardenia

Peace, love and healing.

Ginger

Wealth, lust and love.

Hibiscus

Divination, love and lust to attract love.

Honeysuckle

money, happiness, friendship, healing, for good health, luck, and psychic power.

Hyacinth

Happiness and protection.

Jasmine

love, money, dreams, purification, wisdom, skills, astral projection, to attract love and money, for luck in general, especially in matters relating to love.

Juniper

calming, protection, healing, to increase psychic powers and to break the curses and hexes cast by evil.

Lavender

Cleansing, healing, love, happiness, relaxation, to induce rest and sleep, and to attract love.

Lemon

Healing, love and purification.

Lemongrass

mental clarity.

Lilac

soothing, increase psychic powers and to attract harmony into one’s life.

Lotus

elevates mood, protection, spirituality, healing, meditation for inner peace and outer harmony, to aid in meditation and open the mind’s eye.

Mace

to stimulate or increase psychic powers.

Mint

to increase sexual desire and attract money.

Musk

aphrodisiac, prosperity, courage, creates a sensual atmosphre. For courage and vitality, or to heighten sensual passion.

Myrrh

Spirituality, meditation, healing and consecration. An ancient incense for protection, healing, purification and spirituality.

Nutmeg

Burned to aid meditation, stimulate or increase the psychic powers and attract prosperity.

Oakmoss

To attract money.

Orange

Divination, love, luck, money.

Patchouli

money, growth, love, mastery, sensuality to attract money and love, and also to promote fertility.

Passionflower

For peace of mind, this sweet scent will soothe troubles and aid in sleep.

Peppermint

Energy, mental stimulant, healing.

Pine

grounding, strength, cleansing, healing and to attract money.

Poppy Seeds

Burned to promote female fertility, and to attract love, good luck, and money.

Rose

Love, house blessing, fertility, healing to increase courage, induce prophetic dreams, and attract love to return calm energies to the home.

Rose

Geranium courage and protection.

Rosemary

remembrance, memory, energy, healing to purify, aid in healing, prevent nightmares, preserve youthfulness, dispel depression.

Rue

Burned to help restore health.

Sage

wisdom, clarity and purification.

Sandalwood

Spirituality, healing, protection, astral projection to heal and protect, also for purification.

Strawberry

Love, luck and friendship.

Sweet Pea

Friendship, love and courage.

Tangerine

A solar aroma used to attract prosperity.

Vanilla

Lust, mental alterness, stimulate amorous appetites and enhance memory.

Vetivert

Money, peace and love.

Violet

Wisdom, luck, love, protection and healing.

Yarrow

For courage.

Ylang-Ylang

For love, harmony and euphoria.

[evac]

I also found some of these types of pictures that spoke mad volumes to me. This piece of art says so much about how I’m feeling. All the times I subjected myself to the thought of “love” and “relationships” it only winded up in hearts that needed mending. And the more I take the time to focus on mending one, another one needs to be fixed. I learned what my problem was. I always rushed into a relationship. Always trying to hard. I focused to much on trying to fulfill what the most high created women for in the first place when he pulled us from the rib of Adam. But I’m now thinking that’s not the mission the most high has for me in the end of it all. I don’t know what my purpose is anymore. Only thing I know to do now is focus on my life my son and myself. Spoil myself for once. Pour all that love I tried to give to unworthy pathetic confused diabolical males….. I need to instead pour it into myself. And that’s what I’ve been doing for a little while now. Got my hair done last weekend. Getting the things I want without “buyers remorse” for once. I do feel like I need to give one more cry (for frustration purposes. For being annoyed at myself for being the way I was. That empathetic pushover who had no boundaries…..or at least little ones…..that love hungry fool who gave to many chances to the unworthy imbeciles) I just need one last cry and then continue on with my transformation. I’ve been also been pulled to “Alice in wonderland” art work on Pinterest I’ve found….. and “Harley Quinn” lately Harley has ALWAYS SPOKEN MAD VOLUMES TO ME!!! Due to the length she went to just to be wanted and seen by the Joker. So she in a way describes me and it makes me cry and I mean cry hard because it’s just so damn sad. And Frankenstein’s monster. I’ve been feeling this deep desire to get more ink work done on myself to express the transformation I’m going through. When I was in my 20’s I went and got a self portrait of myself in cyber goth gear on my left thigh. So that it marks a reminder to NEVER again lose myself when in a toxic relationship with someone who wants me to change who I am and what I’m interested in to appease them, it works but I need a bit more.

[evac]

Found these pictures on Pinterest this morning and thought to myself.

My people can literally pull of EVERY SINGLE FASHION known on this planet. (Yes even the country farm girl cowgirl look) but if there is one fashion genre that we nail 110%, it would be this one right here! This Bohemian Chic/Earthy girl aesthetic…… it literally makes us look like we are glowing! Some how to me it enhances our features, our face and body! 💯🙌🏾👏🏾

If you don’t believe me then really find every picture of a black or mixed breed woman rocking this fashion and reeeeeeeaally look at the picture. No I don’t mean for a few seconds, I mean for a good solid minute a FULL 60 seconds should suffice and you will (or should) see what I mean. If you’re the type that hates on colored people for no real logical reason under the sun then obviously you won’t understand or see what I’m saying here. But if your the type that adores women of any and all color of brown, then go and really look and you will or should see what I mean.

And no I’m not being biased and only saying that because I’m a mixed breed, (native on my father’s side and Spanish on my mother’s side……with African American and Dutch sprinkled in) …..but no I’m not just saying that just because I’m a mixed breed woman myself. I’m saying that because it’s something I noticed this morning while on Pinterest. It was a TikTok video clip of this woman whose outfit of the day looked like she was dressed “boho chic” AAAAAND ready for the beach! And she was ABSOLUTELY STUNNING! It’s like she was LITERALLY glowing and she wasn’t using any filters!

I swear this is the fashion I want to see more of in my closet and I will HAVE THIS! I already got my hair style situated (my mom helped me install my white wool locs in just last night…..I’ll post pictures soon) but I’d much rather see my pretty women of color rock this fashion rather than the bullshit spandex one pieces and stuff that makes them look like a cheap prostitute. I hate that my women feel the need to wear things to show off their body to pathetic males who only want to have sex with her, and not actually care about her. When my women dress cheap, and slutty, then they can’t be surprised or shocked or mad when they realize that the guy they are talking to expects to get nana right after taking her out on one lousy date. Males brains are in their pants we should all know that by now! But when we rock a fashion like this…… it speaks, reads, and breathes GOODESS THAT BETTER BE RESPECTED AND ADORED! And nothing less than!

[evac]

I learn something new every single day. I’ve never even heard of these words before. Seems like every time I go on Pinterest I’m finding new and useful things. 💯☺️ have any of you guys heard of these phobias before?

I find phobias and the ones like these listed above (which really wouldn’t be considered a phobia if you like something) but I find all of them interesting. And I have fun trying to pronounce the big funny spelling looking ones. I laugh if I get tongue tied.🤭 but to know that there are so many out here for what seems like everything is fascinating.

I only have like maybe two or three phobias and a lot of the kinds where you like/love something. I’m a “melanophile” an “autophile” a “nyctophile” just literally all the ones I posted I can see in myself.

Where is the “phobia” that describes a DEEP core hatred/loathing/distaste for males?

[whiteassenby]

What should you put in your bath?

black tea: soothes sunburns [1] [2] and is antimicrobial [3] contains some essential polyphenols and tannin, reduces puffiness/inflammation [4] 

green tea: antioxidant and detoxifier [1] soothes rashes, increases healing rate, softens skin [2] heals sores and wounds, rejuvenates skin cells, improve psoriasis and dandruff [3] anti-aging, mood stabilizing [4]

apple cider vinegar: anti inflammatory and softens skin [1]

ground ginger: increases circulation, promotes sweating, opens pores, relieves pain [1]

lemon: antioxidant (brightens skin) [1] 

olive oil: moisturizes skin [1]

calendula flowers: soothes burns, inflammation, rashes, insect bites, skin disorders [1] useful for small children [2]

elder-flowers: anti-inflammatory and heals rashes cuts and wounds [1]

Himalayan salt: soothes insect bites, heals blisters, relieves arthritis pain [1] softens skin [2]

oatmeal: soothes, anti-inflammatory, calms angry skin [1]

rose petals: relax mind, relieve sleepiness, soothe headaches and stress [1] promote positive feelings [2]

valerian root: relax the mind, relieve sleepiness, soothe headaches and stress [1]

lavender: relax the mind, relieve sleepiness, soothe headaches and stress [1] [2]

mugwort: relax the mind, relieve sleepiness, soothe and headaches and stress [1]

chammomile: soothes nerves [1] good for dry skin [2]

passion flower: soothes nerves [1]

hops: soothes nerves [1]

rosemary: pain relief, soothes headaches and fatigue [1] relaxing, increases alertness and clarity of mind [2] soothes sore throat[3]

thyme: pain relief, soothes headaches and fatigue [1]

devils claw: eases joint pain [1]

juniperberries: soothes muscle aches [1]

peppermint: increase blood flow, relieve congestion [1]

eucalyptus: increase blood flow, relieve congestion [1] increases energy [2]

thyme: increase blood flow, relieve congestion [1]

jasmine: emollient and antiseptic, soothes skin [1] 

organic coconut flakes: nourish the skin [1]

sage: uplifting, good for oily skin and back acne [1] stimulating [2]

marjoram: decongestant, soothes muscle pain [1]

whole cow’s milk: hydrates and mildly exfoliates skin [1]

cow’s buttermilk: hydrates and thoroughly exfoliates skin [1]

goat’s milk: thoroughly hydrates and exfoliates skin, provides nutrients [1]

[evac]

Pin by KerryJ English on Yes | Strong women quotes, Life advice quotes inspiration, Life advice quotes

Apr 13, 2025 - This Pin was discovered by KerryJ English. Discover (and save!) your own Pins on Pinterest

In this video she is speaking logically and realistically about marriage. And yet people laughed and acted as if she was just telling a joke. Most of those people listening to her will not or did not even remember half the stuff she said due to being brain washed by society and what they said about how to marry.

But she was being real, if a woman is going to marry a male then she better make sure said male can afford to put assets and land and property in her name. So that when bad shit happens and he dies before her, then she will be covered for the rest of HER life and their children (if they had any) so called “love” does not cover or take care of things like that and 9 times out of 10 it leaves the widow with HIS DAMN DEBT she has to figure out and handle. She hit the nail on the head when she said “males are unreliable” and 99% of them truly are. And 99% of them want the woman/wife to be their caregiver and pillow. To consistently give GIVE GIVE! But in this era they don’t give back, and if they do it’s the bare minimum and shit that doesn’t even last long.

I personally have been so turned off by males at this point that I don’t see marriage in the cards for me now. 2 back to back narcissistic relationships (with a 5 yr single/freedom gap in between them) I look back and realize that I was VERY happy and stress free when I was single!!!! And to me that speaks mad volume! And the two times I was with a guy, they both brought mad stress and anxiety and depression and a couple of YEARS to get out of my system. Not days or weeks or a few months but YEARS!!!! (About 3 yrs to get the anger out of my body from the first narcissist….. and the recent one/experience with the newer narcissist I’m obviously still getting over it. Judging from my past posts on here. I’m not going to rush it though, I didn’t rush the one before him and I did fine, I can talk to him without feeling any bad/negative emotions and I’m not bringing up the past of what he did to me etc etc, so that tells me that I’m FULLY OVER HIM. So I know with time ……probably another 3 yrs I’ll be over this recent one)

But from what I’ve been feeling and the thoughts that crossed my mind lately tells me that I’m so ate up about this that I don’t even want to try anymore. But be that as it may what the lady in the video clip said about marriage did make sense over all. You don’t marry for “love” (because honestly the shit don’t exist I feel) but you marry for protection and future disasters, if he can take care of you and the children yall created then do that. 

[typiicalmami-deactivated2015121]

reblog if ur a princess

[remanence-of-love]

[remanence-of-love]

[evac]

🔊📣🗣️Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to Biancaaaaaaaa! Happy birthday to meeeeeee! 💯😎🥰