Going through my divorce has been difficult, which is to be expected. I think one of the weirdest things in dealing with are the strings of bad days- days where all my focus is turned to the hurt, the sadness, the anger, the apathy- that suddenly give way to moments of what I can only describe as bliss.
The holidays left me feeling isolated and alone in a way I can't say I've ever felt before, feeling like I couldn't reach out because I didn't want my hurt to be their burden. Today, I was listening to music and that feeling gave way, like a dam bursting. I suddenly remembered that I could just tell people what they mean to me.
I've been closing myself off, whether cause I feel like I deserve to be isolated or because I don't want to feel like I'm other people's problem, but I don't need to keep doing that. I don't deserve punishment for existing and no friend of mine would call me a burden.
