evan rosier @evanrosethorn - Tumblr Blog

hiya, rosie.

i love you.

please remember that.

no matter what happens.

just remember that i love you.

your bee x

@killerbeecj

barty.

i love you, too.

never forgot.

not for a second.

it’s you and me, yeah?

‘m sorry i’ve been away.

your rose x

*basically sprints across the castle the moment he gets the letter and tumbles into the slytherin common room ignoring weird looks*

ROSIE

*out of breath*

*collapses into evan's arms and hugs him tightly*

m'keepin you.

[he stumbles back a little from the force of the hug, arms immediately wrapping tight around him.]

barty. merlin, barty—

[breathes in, like he’s steadying himself.]

i’ve missed you. i didn’t mean to be gone so long.

[he presses quick kisses into his hair.] feels like i can breathe again now.

*runs his hands under Evans shirt, attempting to form a hold on his back, then giving up and just resting his hands against his skin*

*slowly catches his breath, relaxing against him*

where'd you go *sounds worried*

*breaths in shakily and pulls back just enough to look at Evan, staying as close as it was possible to do so and still see his face*

did something happen, are you okay?

[evan’s face falls, but he doesn’t look away. he owes barty the truth right there in his eyes.]

i didn’t mean to disappear. i didn’t—i never meant to make you worry. just—life. too much of it, all at once.

[his voice cracks a little, barely audible. his hands come to cradle barty’s face.]

i got buried. everything just kept piling up and i...i let it pull me under.

[his thumbs brush over barty’s cheekbones.]

but i’m okay. i should’ve been here. with you. i’m so fucking sorry, bee.

*pulls evan into a slow gentle kiss before speaking again*

its alright, i promise, its alright. you're here now.

you- you need my help? you can always ask me for help, evie. whatever it is.

*gently strokes along his back*

im here, always. im here.

*hugs him closer*

[evan leans into the kiss likes it's the first breath he's had in days.]

i know. i just didn't want to make it your problem too.

[he buries his face in barty's shoulder, returning the tight embrace.]

thank you.

Barty slowly brushes through Evans hair, humming lightly. His legs wrap completely around Evans waist, attaching them together as completely as he was able to from his position on Evan's lap.

"What's yours is mine, Evie, I'd rather share the weight of problems than have you try and deal with it alone."

He scratched lightly at Evan's head as his fingers slid through his hair, not sure if he was doing it correctly, but knowing that he liked that action on himself and attempting to return the favour.

"Please, just- let me know if I can help at all- even if it's just keeping you company so you aren't alone."

[evan slides his arms to wrap around bee’s waist, fingers curling into the fabric of his uniform.]

you’re here. that means more than you’ll ever know, love.

[he melts at the touch, muscles relaxing.]

i’ll try. ‘s just hard sometimes.

hiya, rosie.

i love you.

please remember that.

no matter what happens.

just remember that i love you.

your bee x

@killerbeecj

barty.

i love you, too.

never forgot.

not for a second.

it’s you and me, yeah?

‘m sorry i’ve been away.

your rose x

*basically sprints across the castle the moment he gets the letter and tumbles into the slytherin common room ignoring weird looks*

ROSIE

*out of breath*

*collapses into evan's arms and hugs him tightly*

m'keepin you.

[he stumbles back a little from the force of the hug, arms immediately wrapping tight around him.]

barty. merlin, barty—

[breathes in, like he’s steadying himself.]

i’ve missed you. i didn’t mean to be gone so long.

[he presses quick kisses into his hair.] feels like i can breathe again now.

*runs his hands under Evans shirt, attempting to form a hold on his back, then giving up and just resting his hands against his skin*

*slowly catches his breath, relaxing against him*

where'd you go *sounds worried*

*breaths in shakily and pulls back just enough to look at Evan, staying as close as it was possible to do so and still see his face*

did something happen, are you okay?

[evan’s face falls, but he doesn’t look away. he owes barty the truth right there in his eyes.]

i didn’t mean to disappear. i didn’t—i never meant to make you worry. just—life. too much of it, all at once.

[his voice cracks a little, barely audible. his hands come to cradle barty’s face.]

i got buried. everything just kept piling up and i...i let it pull me under.

[his thumbs brush over barty’s cheekbones.]

but i’m okay. i should’ve been here. with you. i’m so fucking sorry, bee.

*pulls evan into a slow gentle kiss before speaking again*

its alright, i promise, its alright. you're here now.

you- you need my help? you can always ask me for help, evie. whatever it is.

*gently strokes along his back*

im here, always. im here.

*hugs him closer*

[evan leans into the kiss likes it's the first breath he's had in days.]

i know. i just didn't want to make it your problem too.

[he buries his face in barty's shoulder, returning the tight embrace.]

thank you.

hiya, rosie.

i love you.

please remember that.

no matter what happens.

just remember that i love you.

your bee x

@killerbeecj

barty.

i love you, too.

never forgot.

not for a second.

it’s you and me, yeah?

‘m sorry i’ve been away.

your rose x

*basically sprints across the castle the moment he gets the letter and tumbles into the slytherin common room ignoring weird looks*

ROSIE

*out of breath*

*collapses into evan's arms and hugs him tightly*

m'keepin you.

[he stumbles back a little from the force of the hug, arms immediately wrapping tight around him.]

barty. merlin, barty—

[breathes in, like he’s steadying himself.]

i’ve missed you. i didn’t mean to be gone so long.

[he presses quick kisses into his hair.] feels like i can breathe again now.

*runs his hands under Evans shirt, attempting to form a hold on his back, then giving up and just resting his hands against his skin*

*slowly catches his breath, relaxing against him*

where'd you go *sounds worried*

*breaths in shakily and pulls back just enough to look at Evan, staying as close as it was possible to do so and still see his face*

did something happen, are you okay?

[evan’s face falls, but he doesn’t look away. he owes barty the truth right there in his eyes.]

i didn’t mean to disappear. i didn’t—i never meant to make you worry. just—life. too much of it, all at once.

[his voice cracks a little, barely audible. his hands come to cradle barty’s face.]

i got buried. everything just kept piling up and i...i let it pull me under.

[his thumbs brush over barty’s cheekbones.]

but i’m okay. i should’ve been here. with you. i’m so fucking sorry, bee.

hiya, rosie.

i love you.

please remember that.

no matter what happens.

just remember that i love you.

your bee x

@killerbeecj

barty.

i love you, too.

never forgot.

not for a second.

it’s you and me, yeah?

‘m sorry i’ve been away.

your rose x

*basically sprints across the castle the moment he gets the letter and tumbles into the slytherin common room ignoring weird looks*

ROSIE

*out of breath*

*collapses into evan's arms and hugs him tightly*

m'keepin you.

[he stumbles back a little from the force of the hug, arms immediately wrapping tight around him.]

barty. merlin, barty—

[breathes in, like he’s steadying himself.]

i’ve missed you. i didn’t mean to be gone so long.

[he presses quick kisses into his hair.] feels like i can breathe again now.

hiya, rosie.

i love you.

please remember that.

no matter what happens.

just remember that i love you.

your bee x

@killerbeecj

barty.

i love you, too.

never forgot.

not for a second.

it’s you and me, yeah?

‘m sorry i’ve been away.

your rose x

James starts to stir in the early morning hours, a stream of light hitting him in the face from the open windows. He looks down to see a sleeping regulus attached to his bare torso, hair wild and breaths even. Smiling down at the younger boy and playing with his hair James sighs at how perfect the moment is.

@why-am-i-the-one-drowning

Mng..

*curls up* *has a few tears on his face from a nightmare* *goes closer*

*laughs softly* you're so pretty *whispered to himself* *brushes a hair out of regs face* *sees the tears streaks* *frowns* oh baby *kisses his cheek*

*smiles a bit and gently kisses his neck*

oh, hey love. I didnt know you were awake

Barely..

*eyes flutter open* *smile grows a bit*

*runs a finger down his cheek, eyes loving* i love that smile i would kill someone just to see that smile

*kisses his neck gently again* *playing with his hair*

*smiles softly* *leans into the touch, closing his eyes slightly*

*kisses him softly*

I love him I love him I love him.

hmm *smiles into the kiss* good morning to you too

morning..

*pulls back and yawns*

*laughs* that was cute *boops his nose*

*small laugh* *kisses his nose*

*kisses him again*

*kisses back* *smiles against the kiss*

*peppers small kisses all around his face*

*giggles a bit* *smiling*

A scream is the first sign that Barty is not okay, echoing around the whole house. It's loud enough that most if not all people there will have heard it, unless they're really deep sleepers.

The second sign is crashing footsteps as he sprints down the attic stairs, having barelled straight out of bed without even a thought to where he was.

Typically, in this situation, he would run for his mother's room. A place he found safe. But he couldn't do that here, as he soon remembered when he hit the bottom of the stairs.

Where to go?

He had just screamed and ran away from Evan, who Barty had taken to sharing a bed with over the break from school, and he was terrified that if he went back, Evan would be upset about his instant reaction being to leave.

He couldn't go to Effie and Monty, though they were amazing people, he knew that right now all he would see from Monty was his father.

Remus could be an option, but he assumed the boy was in with Sirius, who he did not want to see right now.

The girls were out - too many of them sharing a room, he didn't want that much attention on him.

Regulus' room got ruled out too - Barty had no idea that Regulus was in with James, but he didn't want to burden his best mate with this when he had so much going on himself. He didn't think he could forgive himself for adding more pressure to that.

That only left James. James, who had been so kind to him, and who Barty felt safe around, even after the situation that had occurred recently. James, who Barty knew he could rely on for a really good hug, the type he had only experienced a handful of times since his mother died. James.

He hadn't even realised he was sobbing when he crashed into James room, not even paying attention to the scene before him as he just slammed the door and dropped onto James lap, not even looking at his best friend. He wrapped onto the older boy tightly and sobbed into his shoulder, tears coating both of them almost instantly.

But at least James meant safety.

@deer-prongs @why-am-i-the-one-drowning @evanrosethorn [sorry for literally abandoning Evan for this lol]

*gasps in supries* bee? What? Are you ok? *hugs him back*

@why-am-i-the-one-drowning @evanrosethorn

*looks at James and then Barty* *whispers to James* He had a nightmare.

*stroking Barty’s hair* Bee..you’re ok..you’re safe, alright?.. It’s just us here..

@killerbeecj

*muffled sobs*

*somehow manages to lean into reg's touch without pulling away from james at all*

*basically koala-ing james right now*

*speaks through sobs in a shaky voice*

h-he-he blamed me- and- and- then- made me look at-

*sobs heavily*

her face, oh god her face-

so- so empty- she- she was never empty- not until that day- and then she was never anything else again-

*hiccups from the sobbing*

*not even thinking he bites onto james, a grounding method he has used with evan and reg before but never james, but he's too out of it to ask if it's alright. his teeth are somewhat sharp as they dig into his shoulder.*

@deer-prongs @evanrosethorn

shh…it’s ok Barty..it wasn’t your fault..none of it was…

*still stroking his hair*

@deer-prongs

i-i-i-

i shouldve- i couldve- saved her-

she died- when- i was there-

and i did nothing- i just- i just sat with her body until father got home-

why didn't i help-?

@deer-prongs @evanrosethorn

shhh, no you couldn’t have bee. You were a kid, it’s not your fault nor your responsibility

@why-am-i-the-one-drowning

*nods*

None of it was you, Bee..

@killerbeecj

*choked noise*

*bites harder onto james shoulder*

*slowly is stopping crying but still shaking*

@deer-prongs @evanrosethorn

*choked noice* bee i love you, and you can absolutely come to me whenever you need help but if you bite me anymore you will draw blood, so maybe ease up on the jaw please

*is still rubbing his back*

@why-am-i-the-one-drowning

*barty mumbles a complaint*

*he has definitely made either reg, evan, or both, bleed from biting before so he's clearly not bothered by it*

*but james said please*

*so he releases his bite and pulls away, falling backwards onto regulus and seemingly only just processing he's there*

o-oh- hiya, reggie-

*halfhearted smile*

s-sorry- i- didnt- mean to interrupt- i should- go-

@evanrosethorn @why-am-i-the-one-drowning

*wraps his arms around him*

Bee, you can stay if you want, I don’t mind. I just want you to be ok..

*mumbled*

o-okay, staying then- but- but- i did kinda- just- leave evie in my bed alone...

*looks down*

i- dya think hes mad at me-

*still not over the nightmare but trying to change the topic because dwelling won't help*

@deer-prongs @evanrosethorn

*shakes his head*

No, Rosie isn’t like that, I think he’ll understand

*nods slowly, cuddles further into reg and swings his legs out on james lap*

reggie

i-i-i

i love him, so- so much-

*tears up again*

i couldn't bare it if he was mad, i couldnt-

@evanrosethorn @deer-prongs

Bee..he won’t be mad..I promise.

Just..maybe talk to him before he starts to worry..

*slow nod*

*cuddles into reg*

*whispers so only reg can hear* y'think jamie will go fetch my boyfriend so i can keep cuddling his boyfriend?

@deer-prongs @evanrosethorn

*laughs a bit*

*to James*

My sun, can you please go get Evan? *bats his eyelashes and shit*

@deer-prongs

*sighs and stands up* being kicked out of my own room by my boyfriend. What has my life come too *obviouslg said in a joking manner*

*ruffles bee’s hair and kisses reg before leaving the room*

@evanrosethorn @killerbeecj

[evan poked his head around the corner of the hallway, spotting james. he's frantically rushes over to him.]

james—

barty. is he? where is he?

is he okay?

@killerbeecj why-am-i-the-one-drowning

OG POST:

*exhausted barty walks into the living room*

*grabs evans arm*

y'comin with me.

*pulls evan upstairs to his bedroom*

*pushes evan onto the bed and lays beside him, resting his head onto evan's chest and tangling their legs together*

*drapes one arm across evan's stomach and then closes his eyes*

m'sleepy, s'naptime. y'gotta stay, y'need naps too.

*totally not just an excuse for tired cuddles*

m'love you, evie...

@killerbeecj

[evan wraps his arm around bee's shoulder, pressing a lingering kiss into his hair.]

mgn, 'm staying. can't really sleep without you anyways, love.

[his fingers slip lazily into barty's hair. and at barty's words, evan’s heart stutters. he loves me. and evan finally let’s himself believe it.]

i love you. merlin, you have no idea how much.

@killerbeecj

*smiles to himself and tilts his head slightly to kiss evans chest*

*then pushes his head upwards into evans hand clearly enjoying the touch*

*at Evan's words his smile grows and he flushes pink*

you.. you do? *quietly* oh- oh oh oh-

*grinning now*

*shifts off evans chest still mostly tangled up with him to kiss him almost desperately*

*when he pulls back for air he just stares at evan with a huge amount of love*

oh, evie, i love you so much- so so much-

*can't stop smiling now, feels like he's going to smile for eternity just from this moment*

*whispered to himself, although evan can likely hear* he loves me, merlin, he loves me

[the kiss leaves evan breathless, fingers still tangled in barty's hair.]

'course i do, bee. how could i not?

[his hands slide to barty's face, thumbs brushing his cheek's gently.]

you've got me. every inch. every fucking breath.

[and evan does hear it.]

i love you, i love you, i love you.

OG POST:

*exhausted barty walks into the living room*

*grabs evans arm*

y'comin with me.

*pulls evan upstairs to his bedroom*

*pushes evan onto the bed and lays beside him, resting his head onto evan's chest and tangling their legs together*

*drapes one arm across evan's stomach and then closes his eyes*

m'sleepy, s'naptime. y'gotta stay, y'need naps too.

*totally not just an excuse for tired cuddles*

m'love you, evie...

@killerbeecj

[evan wraps his arm around bee's shoulder, pressing a lingering kiss into his hair.]

mgn, 'm staying. can't really sleep without you anyways, love.

[his fingers slip lazily into barty's hair. and at barty's words, evan’s heart stutters. he loves me. and evan finally let’s himself believe it.]

i love you. merlin, you have no idea how much.

@killerbeecj

OG POST:

*exhausted barty walks into the living room*

*grabs evans arm*

y'comin with me.

*pulls evan upstairs to his bedroom*

*pushes evan onto the bed and lays beside him, resting his head onto evan's chest and tangling their legs together*

*drapes one arm across evan's stomach and then closes his eyes*

m'sleepy, s'naptime. y'gotta stay, y'need naps too.

*totally not just an excuse for tired cuddles*

m'love you, evie...

@killerbeecj

Monty comes back from the store, gift in hand. He strolls into the kitchen, giving a kiss to his wife as he goes and calls down the boy he’s been meaning to talk to.

“BARTY!! COME TO THE KITCHEN PLEASE!!”

@killerbeecj

*jolts his head up at the yelling*

*panicked basically runs to the kitchen*

yessir, m here, did- did i do something?

*looks worried*

m sorry-

*smiles at him* no! Not at all!

Well, actually you sort of did. You tried. You’re a good boy, Barty.

I was at the store today and saw these *slides a bag that contains a sketchbook, a pack of good color pencils, three black pens of different thinknesses, and skin markers*

I thought you’d like them.

*still nervous and shaking a little*

*slowly opens the bag*

*his eyes go wide*

*runs his fingers gently across the items in the bag*

*a small smile grows into a giant smile*

*whispers* thank you...

*looks up at him*

*tears in his eyes*

*hugs him tightly*

*for a moment he feels as if his pain has been washed away*

*speaks at normal volume and more confidently* thanks, papa

*doesn't even realise what he said*

*just hugging him*

*hugs him back tightly* glad you liked it.

*pulls back at looks him in the eyes* i just have to ask one thing.

*looks up at him*

mhm? go ahead-

*confused a little*

draw something for Effie will you? She loves art, always has so it would be the best gift ever to have you draw something specifically for her.

*nods slowly*

okay, papa..

thank you again

*legit he's just always gonna call monty that now, dude just wants a dad [ooc sobbing]*

*starts calling effie mama too because why not*

*james can deal with it his parents are being stolen*

*smiles* good. Now run along, see how they work.

oh, and I charmed the pens so they stay on skin permanently until erased with a spell. I’ll teach it to you later.

*james parents aren't being stolen because he willingly shared them and has been telling bee that the entire time*

*grins even more*

*hugs him again*

*grabs bag and goes straight to find someone he can draw on*

[yes he is stealing them mwahahahahah]

[casually tags people that i think he would]

@deer-prongs @br1ghtest---star @wolf-j-wolf @evanrosethorn @dorcas-mead0ws @why-am-i-the-one-drowning @rosierofraveclaw

*laying on the couch* hey bee! Whats with the bag?

*drops down on the floor next to james*

jamie jamie jamie jamieeee

guess what i gottttt

*grinning*

haha what? *he absolutely know cuz his dad asked him for help picking it out*

papa got me art stufffff!

*pulls out one of the skin markers*

*still grinning*

m gonna draw on you.. *thoughtfully*

*grabs his arm and starts drawing a black cat coz reggie*

*no.1 jegulus shipper at it again*

*laughs and lets bee do what he want* papa? You warming up to him?*smiling*

*looks at james like wut*

*legit has only just realised he's been saying it*

uhhh-

*flushes slightly*

s'nice.. nobody ever got me art stuff before...

*smiles* I'm glad. Your part of this family so better start getting used to it. *ruffles is hair*

*small smile*

thanks, jamie..

*finishes the cat*

there! watchu think?

*looks down at it* WOAH THAT INSANE! I didnt know you drew that well, wow

Why a cat? *totally not thinking of reg as an animangus and blushing because his bf is just soooooo cute*

'm really like art.. s'my dream, really..

n- s'a cat coz-

*looks down for a moment before back up at him*

s'reggie..

*blushes* oh. *tries to hide his smile*

Um, so you want to be an artist? That’s really cool. Also, How long do they stay for?

mm.. he said it stays til cast a spell..... that i do not know

*evil grin*

guess you got a cat now!

*hears them and goes over*

Hey Barty *sees the markers*

Oh, who got you those? *smiling*

@deer-prongs

*gestures vaguely to the kitchen*

papa.

*pulls regulus to sit*

you got great timing

*takes out the pen again and scans over regulus thoughtfully*

*pushes his sleeve up slightly to draw underneath it coz he's at least smart enough to not give them both visible ones when sirius doesnt know*

*draws a cute lil deer and then pulls the sleeve over the top of it*

perfect! now you match.

@deer-prongs

We..match?

*looks over at the cat on James’ arm and realizes* *small laugh*

I guess we do.

@deer-prongs

*grins*

*leans onto reg and starts to doodle on his own arm over the top of his new scars*

*sev sent him a potion to help heal them so theyre not open wounds now so its safe to draw on them*

*doodles a vine with roses on it up his entire lower arm*

perfect.

@deer-prongs

*glances at the roses and smiles slightly*

@deer-prongs

*glances at reg*

*honestly appreciative that nobody has questioned his scars the only person that even mentioned it was sev after seeing them in a photo and that was just to send the potion*

*and now they're hidden by his representation of evan so he's happy*

look what i got though, reggie

*shows him the bag which has the skin markers and also normal pens and a new sketchbook*

m book is almost full too, was gonna have to buy a new one and now i don't have to !

*grinning*

@deer-prongs

*laughs when he sees bees arm* thats adorable. You two are happy arent you?

*was spaced out worried for the entire convo*

@why-am-i-the-one-drowning

mhm, very.. he's- everything to me..

but- what do you think of reg's?

*cheeky grin*

@why-am-i-the-one-drowning

hm? Reg’s what?

@why-am-i-the-one-drowning

new art?

*tilts his head*

*pulls reg's sleeve up again so james can see it*

@why-am-i-the-one-drowning

*eye’s widen* Oh. Uh, wow. I love it bee *want to touch it but hold back*

Wait, how’d you know my animangus is a stag? How did you know i was an animangus?!?

@why-am-i-the-one-drowning

*stares at him*

y'told me that you were called prongs coz of something to do with a deer?

*confused*

didn't know you meant animagus.

@why-am-i-the-one-drowning

. . . *blinks at him* oh shit well, you know about moony so ig it doesnt matter if you know anymore

@why-am-i-the-one-drowning

*laughs a little*

it's not like i'd question it, me, reg, ev, panda and dorcas did it without even *having* a moony.

@why-am-i-the-one-drowning

*still processing that James is a deer*

Right, yeah..that’s..normal.

Yeah, I guess we were just bored. Didn’t have much to do so we just..decided to do it?

*turns into a cat and sits on the floor*

@deer-prongs

*almost falls over coz he was leaning on reg*

*laughs again*

*also changes form and then cuddles up to catreg*

@deer-prongs

*sigh* no fair. I can’t turn right now!

*picks them both up and puts them next to him on the couch*

@why-am-i-the-one-drowning

*nuzzles into james side*

*chirrips happily*

@why-am-i-the-one-drowning

*baps James and sits on his head*

[coz i think itd be funny for someone to walk in]

@deer-prongs @br1ghtest---star @wolf-j-wolf @number-one-secret-keeper @lilyofthehills @chaosqueenmarls @call-me-hot-not-pretty @uhm-alice-who @evanrosethorn @dorcas-mead0ws @why-am-i-the-one-drowning @vance-let @liketheoneinlovewithareflection @rosierofraveclaw @that-awful-boy @euphemia-potts @flemont-potter

rosierofraveclaw

Pandora quietly walked into the room, pausing in the doorway before shrugging and plopping down on the floor in front of them.

“Hey Reggie, Batty.”

She paused and gave James a smile.

“Hey Jamie.”

@why-am-i-the-one-drowning @deer-prongs @killerbeecj

[having heard meowing, evan enters the room, breaking into a smile at the sight of his friends. he sits by panda, nudging her shoulder in greeting.]

@why-am-i-the-one-drowning @deer-prongs @killerbeecj

Barty scales his way onto the roof, a practiced skill that he knows most people won't risk, a way for him to make certain he is alone.

He moves slowly and carefully to around halfway up and then sits down, balancing himself properly and then leaning back to look up at the clouds.

All he can think of is fear.

Fear that this is all a dream.

Fear that he'll wake up and be in his father's house again.

Fear that his friends will see inside his head and realise how messed up he is.

Fear that he'll get left behind.

Fear.

@deer-prongs @br1ghtest---star @wolf-j-wolf @number-one-secret-keeper @lilyofthehills @chaosqueenmarls @call-me-hot-not-pretty @uhm-alice-who @evanrosethorn @dorcas-mead0ws @why-am-i-the-one-drowning @vance-let @liketheoneinlovewithareflection @rosierofraveclaw @that-awful-boy @euphemia-potts @flemont-potter

tw self harm, dissociation. stay safe <3

After Remus and Regulus left him alone again, Barty had no memory of his next actions. One moment he had been sat on the roof watching the clouds, and the next moment he found himself curled up on the cold bathroom floor, his signature blue hunting knife in hand.

He took a breath slowly before looking down, biting onto his lip roughly at the site of blood dripping down his left arm, and around 10-15 fresh cuts that would definitely join his already large collection of scars.

When did he get there? When did he do that? How long had it been? Had anyone noticed? Were they mad that the bathroom had been occupied so long?

First he cleaned the small amount of blood that had reached the floor, and then rinsed off his knife and his arm. The bright red lines were so obvious even after being cleaned of blood, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

Following that, he leant onto the sink, taking a moment to breath and ground himself fully. He didn't want to risk losing his consciousness again upon leaving the safety of the bathroom. Once he felt better, he made his way slowly across to the door and flicked the lock, then swang it open, looking around him.

Act normal, he thought.

So he did. He went to his room for a moment to grab his almost full artpad and his pens that were running low on ink, and then went into the living room to draw.

I hope nobody sees, please please please please, don't see-

He starts to draw absent mindedly, not even deciding what to draw before he already was. After a few lines though, he realised what it was - a bundle of roses.

Merlin, I love him

@deer-prongs @br1ghtest---star @wolf-j-wolf @number-one-secret-keeper @lilyofthehills @chaosqueenmarls @call-me-hot-not-pretty @uhm-alice-who @evanrosethorn @dorcas-mead0ws @why-am-i-the-one-drowning @vance-let @liketheoneinlovewithareflection @rosierofraveclaw @that-awful-boy @euphemia-potts @flemont-potter

[evan slips into the living room, tucking his hands into his pockets. he leans against the wall, gazing softly at barty, who was focused on a drawing.]

working on something?

*looks up*

*hurriedly attempts to covers his arm with his other hand but his hand obviously is not big enough*

*doesn't want evan to get upset by it*

m.. it's for you.

*realising he's failing at hiding his arm he moves his hand back to the artpad and picks it up, holding it out towards evan*

*looks hopeful that he likes it*

@br1ghtest---star appears behind barty somehow*

*barty visibly jumps at sirius' voice but doesn't respond, eyes focused on evan*

[evan pulls out the chair next to barty's and sits down. he takes the artpad, fingers brushing barty's as he accepts it. his breath hitches at the sight of the roses.]

shit, bee—it's beautiful. i love it. thank you.

[his eyes flick over the page, tracing the lines, but he's distracted -something gnawing at him. barty's arm. the way he tried to cover it. the angle he's still holding it at, like maybe if he stays still enough, evan won't notice. he quickly glances at barty's arm before meeting his eyes.]

love—

*small smile*

'm glad you like it.

*then notices evan's gaze*

*tries to further hide his arm*

mhm? yes, evie? is everything alright?

*fake ignorance as he pretends not to know what evan has noticed*

[evan doesn't say anything at first. just looks at him. looks through his smile.]

yeah. yeah, everything 's fine. promise.

[he exhales shakily, concern etched across his features.]

barty…are you okay?

Barty scales his way onto the roof, a practiced skill that he knows most people won't risk, a way for him to make certain he is alone.

He moves slowly and carefully to around halfway up and then sits down, balancing himself properly and then leaning back to look up at the clouds.

All he can think of is fear.

Fear that this is all a dream.

Fear that he'll wake up and be in his father's house again.

Fear that his friends will see inside his head and realise how messed up he is.

Fear that he'll get left behind.

Fear.

@deer-prongs @br1ghtest---star @wolf-j-wolf @number-one-secret-keeper @lilyofthehills @chaosqueenmarls @call-me-hot-not-pretty @uhm-alice-who @evanrosethorn @dorcas-mead0ws @why-am-i-the-one-drowning @vance-let @liketheoneinlovewithareflection @rosierofraveclaw @that-awful-boy @euphemia-potts @flemont-potter

tw self harm, dissociation. stay safe <3

After Remus and Regulus left him alone again, Barty had no memory of his next actions. One moment he had been sat on the roof watching the clouds, and the next moment he found himself curled up on the cold bathroom floor, his signature blue hunting knife in hand.

He took a breath slowly before looking down, biting onto his lip roughly at the site of blood dripping down his left arm, and around 10-15 fresh cuts that would definitely join his already large collection of scars.

When did he get there? When did he do that? How long had it been? Had anyone noticed? Were they mad that the bathroom had been occupied so long?

First he cleaned the small amount of blood that had reached the floor, and then rinsed off his knife and his arm. The bright red lines were so obvious even after being cleaned of blood, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

Following that, he leant onto the sink, taking a moment to breath and ground himself fully. He didn't want to risk losing his consciousness again upon leaving the safety of the bathroom. Once he felt better, he made his way slowly across to the door and flicked the lock, then swang it open, looking around him.

Act normal, he thought.

So he did. He went to his room for a moment to grab his almost full artpad and his pens that were running low on ink, and then went into the living room to draw.

I hope nobody sees, please please please please, don't see-

He starts to draw absent mindedly, not even deciding what to draw before he already was. After a few lines though, he realised what it was - a bundle of roses.

Merlin, I love him

@deer-prongs @br1ghtest---star @wolf-j-wolf @number-one-secret-keeper @lilyofthehills @chaosqueenmarls @call-me-hot-not-pretty @uhm-alice-who @evanrosethorn @dorcas-mead0ws @why-am-i-the-one-drowning @vance-let @liketheoneinlovewithareflection @rosierofraveclaw @that-awful-boy @euphemia-potts @flemont-potter

[evan slips into the living room, tucking his hands into his pockets. he leans against the wall, gazing softly at barty, who was focused on a drawing.]

working on something?

*looks up*

*hurriedly attempts to covers his arm with his other hand but his hand obviously is not big enough*

*doesn't want evan to get upset by it*

m.. it's for you.

*realising he's failing at hiding his arm he moves his hand back to the artpad and picks it up, holding it out towards evan*

*looks hopeful that he likes it*

@br1ghtest---star appears behind barty somehow*

*barty visibly jumps at sirius' voice but doesn't respond, eyes focused on evan*

[evan pulls out the chair next to barty's and sits down. he takes the artpad, fingers brushing barty's as he accepts it. his breath hitches at the sight of the roses.]

shit, bee—it's beautiful. i love it. thank you.

[his eyes flick over the page, tracing the lines, but he's distracted -something gnawing at him. barty's arm. the way he tried to cover it. the angle he's still holding it at, like maybe if he stays still enough, evan won't notice. he quickly glances at barty's arm before meeting his eyes.]

love—

*drunk barty drops onto evan's lap*

hiya, rosie *slurred*

i love you, merlin i love you, ev

*happy sigh*

*huge grin*

i love you

dun care if its been less than a week- v'known you for like, 6 years almost- and i love you

and you're mine

[evan wraps barty up in his arms. but his heart stops at bee's words, smile faltering. he laughs nervously.]

barty—you're drunk.

'm aware-

*presses kisses across evan's jaw and cheek*

it- it took me longer to realise than it should have-

but i swear to merlin, when i think back-

i can't remember a time i didn't love you...

you- you're so perfect...

*dreamy sigh*

[evan is certain he isn’t breathing. he slides his hands into barty’s hair, shaking his head slightly.]

you’re—

you can’t—

[evan swallows hard. his heart is thudding—too fast, too loud—and he hates himself for wanting to believe this, for feeling something crack open in his chest. because if he lets himself believe it now, if he lets himself have this, even for a second—what happens when barty wakes up tomorrow and forgets?]

you can’t mean that.

why- why can't i?

*frowns slightly*

do- you not- want me to..

*lip quivers*

'm sorry- s'stupid, shouldn't have-

knew t'was too fast for you-

*stares at evan scared*

please don't hate me for loving you

[he watches barty’s face crumple, and evan’s sure his heart just tore in two. shitshitshit.]

hey, look at me. i—that wasn’t—

[he cradles barty’s face in his hands, eyes searching his.]

i could never hate you. not in a million fucking years, okay?

[he tries to keep his voice steady, but there’s an ache buried underneath it, something heavy pressing against his ribs. he had fucked everything up, hadn’t he?]

i just…i don’t want you to wake up and regret—loving me.

'm could never regret loving you

*rests their forheads together*

y'my favourite, forever

'n i do mean it, so.. too bad, s'pose, you gotta deal with being loved.

*tentitively plays with a strand of evan's hair*

y'my rose.

[his eyes search barty’s, like he’s trying to find the lie—but there isn’t one. there’s just warmth, and honesty, and the kind of certainty evan has never let himself believe he could deserve.]

you say that now.

[he inhales shakily, eyes fluttering closed, but he lets himself laugh a bit.]

but i don’t deserve that.

[his fingers finally settle lightly against barty’s jaw.]

‘specially from someone like you.

[his rose, he thinks.]

Barty scales his way onto the roof, a practiced skill that he knows most people won't risk, a way for him to make certain he is alone.

He moves slowly and carefully to around halfway up and then sits down, balancing himself properly and then leaning back to look up at the clouds.

All he can think of is fear.

Fear that this is all a dream.

Fear that he'll wake up and be in his father's house again.

Fear that his friends will see inside his head and realise how messed up he is.

Fear that he'll get left behind.

Fear.

@deer-prongs @br1ghtest---star @wolf-j-wolf @number-one-secret-keeper @lilyofthehills @chaosqueenmarls @call-me-hot-not-pretty @uhm-alice-who @evanrosethorn @dorcas-mead0ws @why-am-i-the-one-drowning @vance-let @liketheoneinlovewithareflection @rosierofraveclaw @that-awful-boy @euphemia-potts @flemont-potter

tw self harm, dissociation. stay safe <3

After Remus and Regulus left him alone again, Barty had no memory of his next actions. One moment he had been sat on the roof watching the clouds, and the next moment he found himself curled up on the cold bathroom floor, his signature blue hunting knife in hand.

He took a breath slowly before looking down, biting onto his lip roughly at the site of blood dripping down his left arm, and around 10-15 fresh cuts that would definitely join his already large collection of scars.

When did he get there? When did he do that? How long had it been? Had anyone noticed? Were they mad that the bathroom had been occupied so long?

First he cleaned the small amount of blood that had reached the floor, and then rinsed off his knife and his arm. The bright red lines were so obvious even after being cleaned of blood, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

Following that, he leant onto the sink, taking a moment to breath and ground himself fully. He didn't want to risk losing his consciousness again upon leaving the safety of the bathroom. Once he felt better, he made his way slowly across to the door and flicked the lock, then swang it open, looking around him.

Act normal, he thought.

So he did. He went to his room for a moment to grab his almost full artpad and his pens that were running low on ink, and then went into the living room to draw.

I hope nobody sees, please please please please, don't see-

He starts to draw absent mindedly, not even deciding what to draw before he already was. After a few lines though, he realised what it was - a bundle of roses.

Merlin, I love him

@deer-prongs @br1ghtest---star @wolf-j-wolf @number-one-secret-keeper @lilyofthehills @chaosqueenmarls @call-me-hot-not-pretty @uhm-alice-who @evanrosethorn @dorcas-mead0ws @why-am-i-the-one-drowning @vance-let @liketheoneinlovewithareflection @rosierofraveclaw @that-awful-boy @euphemia-potts @flemont-potter

[evan slips into the living room, tucking his hands into his pockets. he leans against the wall, gazing softly at barty, who was focused on a drawing.]

working on something?

*drunk barty drops onto evan's lap*

hiya, rosie *slurred*

i love you, merlin i love you, ev

*happy sigh*

*huge grin*

i love you

dun care if its been less than a week- v'known you for like, 6 years almost- and i love you

and you're mine

[evan wraps barty up in his arms. but his heart stops at bee's words, smile faltering. he laughs nervously.]

barty—you're drunk.

'm aware-

*presses kisses across evan's jaw and cheek*

it- it took me longer to realise than it should have-

but i swear to merlin, when i think back-

i can't remember a time i didn't love you...

you- you're so perfect...

*dreamy sigh*

[evan is certain he isn’t breathing. he slides his hands into barty’s hair, shaking his head slightly.]

you’re—

you can’t—

[evan swallows hard. his heart is thudding—too fast, too loud—and he hates himself for wanting to believe this, for feeling something crack open in his chest. because if he lets himself believe it now, if he lets himself have this, even for a second—what happens when barty wakes up tomorrow and forgets?]

you can’t mean that.

why- why can't i?

*frowns slightly*

do- you not- want me to..

*lip quivers*

'm sorry- s'stupid, shouldn't have-

knew t'was too fast for you-

*stares at evan scared*

please don't hate me for loving you

[he watches barty’s face crumple, and evan’s sure his heart just tore in two. shitshitshit.]

hey, look at me. i—that wasn’t—

[he cradles barty’s face in his hands, eyes searching his.]

i could never hate you. not in a million fucking years, okay?

[he tries to keep his voice steady, but there’s an ache buried underneath it, something heavy pressing against his ribs. he had fucked everything up, hadn’t he?]

i just…i don’t want you to wake up and regret—loving me.

*drunk barty drops onto evan's lap*

hiya, rosie *slurred*

i love you, merlin i love you, ev

*happy sigh*

*huge grin*

i love you

dun care if its been less than a week- v'known you for like, 6 years almost- and i love you

and you're mine

[evan wraps barty up in his arms. but his heart stops at bee's words, smile faltering. he laughs nervously.]

barty—you're drunk.

'm aware-

*presses kisses across evan's jaw and cheek*

it- it took me longer to realise than it should have-

but i swear to merlin, when i think back-

i can't remember a time i didn't love you...

you- you're so perfect...

*dreamy sigh*