This was my first time going to the LACMA, and wow, is everything beautiful. I hate that there were a few parts of the buildings closed, but I understand since theyâre renovating for new exhibits. I noticed theyâre putting together the CARNE Y ARENA VR exhibit, which Iâm super stoked about! Crossing my fingers that Iâm able to at least get a ticket to go through it once.
Anyways, I actually felt pretty confident today. At first, I got a bit nervous since I was alone and ended up putting a totally different address into Apple Maps, but I got there safe and sound! I thought it was going to be a pretty decent-sized museum, but then I come to find out that it is composed of six different buildings. I was really ecstatic about seeing all the artwork, and took my time with appreciating and interpreting the works I really enjoyed. However, I felt like people were staring at me because I wore my hair half-up half-down, which I usually donât do, but I think thatâs because I donât really like wearing it this way. Itâs really hot though, and my hair dryer messed up, so I decided on doing so for today.
I was still nervous about talking to people. I asked one of the employees/guards if she would be able to take my picture in front of a Matisse, but she would get in trouble. Instead, she found someone to take the picture for me! This really helped considering I get really nervous talking to others, let alone asking to have my picture taken. Another employee/guard also reassured me that I was able to go to all exhibits and buildings, which I asked about since I saw them at every entrance. Iâm so glad that the staff was sweet, and most of them even greeted me when they saw me, which was pretty neat.
I donât have much more to write about this other than it was a good way to get out of the house, unwind, and relax. I even wanted to explore the rest of the block after, mostly because I was hungry haha But it was too hot to do so. Hopefully, Iâm able to return soon.
After months of being told by my mentors I should read this book, I finally did, and I loved it.
Mark Manson came up quite a few times during the last few months, his mantra inspiring many, if not all, of his readers. While the title suggests it is about not giving a fuck, itâs more about determining what you should actually give a fuck about and whatâs so minimal that it doesnât deserve your fuck being given. As Manson writes in his article The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, â We must craft and hone our lack of fuckery over the course of years and decades. Like a fine wine, our fucks must age into a fine vintage, only uncorked and given on the most special fucking occasions.â
Manson uses the example of âgiving a fuckâ when one of his motherâs friends robbed her of a lot of money. âHad I been indifferent, I would have shrugged my shoulders, supped my mocha, and downloaded another season of The Wire...
âBut instead, I was indignant. I was pissed off. I said, âNo, screw that, Mom. Weâre going to lawyer the fuck up and go after this asshole. Why? Because I donât give a fuck. I will ruin this guyâs life if I have toââ (p. 15-16).
As you can see, Manson states that he doesnât give a fuck about ruining the guyâs life, but does give a fuck about what just happened to his mom, which led me to this interpretation of his mantra:Â not caring so much that you let something so minimal affect you, but also caring enough that you donât act indifferent in the face of adversity.
Manson touches on the subject of people feeling as if they must leave a legacy behind. He does this as he is explaining death, and how it is the only thing certain in our lives. Ernest Becker argues that we each have two âselvesâ: a physical one and a conceptual one. âWe are all aware on some level that our physical self will eventually die, that this death is inevitable, and that its inevitability... scares the shit out of us. Therefore, in order to compensate for our fear of the inevitable loss of our physical self, we try to construct a conceptual self that will live foreverâ (p. 197-198).
This part really stood out to me because I am, on some level, experiencing wanting to leave a legacy. While this legacy is not something as big as Shakespeareâs or Obamaâs, I have been wanting to leave a mark on my school. I have a year left before I transfer, but feel that I am not doing enough to be remembered and will be left to be just one of thousands of students that was there. Reading this- and the part where Manson writes weâre not special, which I will get to soon- helped me come to terms with being okay with not necessarily leaving a mark behind. What matters is what Iâm doing towards my future and education right now.
â...the problem with entitlement is that it makes people need to feel good about themselves all the time, even at the expense of those around them. And because entitled people always need to feel good about themselves, they end up spending most of their time thinking about themselves. After all, it takes a lot of energy and work to convince yourself that your shit doesnât stink...â (p. 45-46).
*insert Oprah meme here* You are not special. You are not special. I am not special. NOBODY IS SPECIAL.
Weâre each entitled to be confident in ourselves, but one thing is being confident and another is /feeling/ as if weâre entitled. People who believe they are entitled are truly blind to themselves and their problems. They believe entitlement to be some form of happiness, but the feeling is only temporary. Itâs really like a high, as Manson writes, because it makes you feel good, but only for a while. Once they get to the part where they finally have to face their problems, it can hurt like a bitch, or an even bigger bitch.
Along with the feeling of entitlement, there is also the feeling of being extraordinary. Contrary to popular belief, you probably arenât extraordinary; itâs just something fed to us by successful people trying to inspire us. If we were all to believe we are extraordinary, who would be left to be ordinary? We must come to terms that we arenât special or extraordinary in order to divert our goals to having true value, and not to seem as if we feel we deserve basically everything or are trying to seem like we are the most miserable.
ââ...Women are superficial and vain and will never like me!â Yes, itâs every single womanâs fault for not liking a self-pitying, shallow guy with shitty values. Obviouslyâ (p. 97). I just love that Manson wrote this. IS MASCULINITY SO GODDAMN FRAGILE?! Trick question: it is.
For my first adventure, I chose to visit the Natural History Museum in Los Angeles.
I was feeling pretty excited about finally exploring what the city has to offer, and even more excited that Iâd be close to some beautiful butterflies. I havenât seen any in a while, especially not as many as they have in their pavilion. I just got a bit nervous when I forgot to grab cash for parking, and thought Iâd be late by my schedule. Good thing was, I got there at the time I planned.
While I was waiting to pull into the lot, I noticed that mostly everyone, a few along with me being the odd ones out, were there with partners, family, or friends. I called my dad and told him how nervous I was, and he assured me everything will be okay. All that matters is I enjoy the time there, and I did. At this time, however, I couldnât help but think about my lack of âadventuresâ as a kid because I was only brought to museums when they were assigned as a field trip. Even then, I would avoid going because I didnât like being far away from home without either of my parents. It didnât matter, though, because Iâm going exploring now.
I visited the exhibit called âExtreme Mammalsâ first, mainly to get it out of the way and explore more. It was amazing and so interesting, but I found myself rushing through reading and observing in order for others to have their chance. I felt as if they were superior to me simply because I was alone and they werenât. I tried to brush the feeling off and take my time, but unknowingly did it a few more times. I did notice, however, they had quite some stuff to say about the exhibits, the parents teaching their kids facts they themselves knew about what was displayed.
About half an hour later, I finished with this exhibit and moved on to the African Mammal Hall, which was mainly a bunch of wonderful displays of different mammals. I especially loved the one with lions, and noticed another family did, as well. I hadnât realized until then that I was taking probably more than socially acceptable pictures of everything in the museum, but the family was having fun taking pictures, so I thought, âWhy shouldnât I?â and took a whole bunch more.
After this, I went over to the Nature Lab, which was filled with some common- and even alive- creatures! They had a showcase of cats, squirrels, and more. I also got to see little crabs and a lizard, which was pretty awesome. Wasnât a big fan of the tarantula they had though, so I quickly took a picture of it and left outside to the Nature Gardens, which were filled with beautiful plants! They also had speakers that were dug into the ground and if you put your ear to them, you hear the sound of the water running through the ground! It was pretty cool.Â
While I was out in the Nature Gardens, I felt some type of relief. I think it was a lot from being away from the noise of so many little kids shouting ecstatically about pretty much everything. A lot of it, though, was associated with my feelings of being afraid to be alone in there or taking too much time observing/reading when a family wanted to see what I was seeing. I felt like I was out of place or that people were upset I was there. Iâm not sure why yet; those are just the thoughts that were running through my mind. And they continued as I visited the Butterfly Pavilion.
While there, I was the only one that was alone. A lot of little kids were there, probably since butterflies are super pretty and interesting, so I felt like I was too old to be there. I even left after being in there for about ten minutes just because I felt like I shouldnât have been there.Â
Overall, I realized I have A LOT of work to do with becoming at least somewhat comfortable with my surroundings and feeling left out, but I had a lot of fun. I plan on going back soon since I didnât get to explore as much as I had hoped for, so I hope that happens.
Also, I visited my nieces later and showed the oldest pictures I took of the exhibits and plants. I was explaining what I knew about the creatures and got to the topic of evolution. She was astounded by everything, especially the fact that we humans share 95-98% of our DNA with chimps! It made me feel better that because I went to the museum, I was able to help her become interested in it.
Pictured above are topaz, stibnite, neptunite, mesolite, and halite. Just 5 of many minerals and gemstones the Natural History Museum has for everyone to admire.
A mix of pictures from the Nature Gardens and Butterfly Pavilion at the Natural History Museum. I'm usually not one to like plants or connect with nature, but being in the gardens relaxed me more than anything before. I could walk around and smile at all the beauty around me.
This cute, little, fluffy guy is a striped rabbit, the âfirst of the speciesâ having been discovered in 1999 being sold at a food market near the borders of Laos and Vietnam.
Meet the little guy that was the smallest mammal to ever live, Batodonoides Vanhouteni! These little guys unfortunately went extinct about 50 million years ago, but were so small, you'd barely notice them! It is believed the smallest one was only 1.6 inches tall and could weigh as low as 0.93 grams.
This is a Tasmanian Wolf (Thylacine), which is now extinct. The last member of the species died in the Hobart Zoo in the year 1936. While they seem adorable, farmers believed them to be a burden, which led to authorities paying for hunters to kill them.
