Hi... I go to a Christian school, I have all my life, and for most of my eighth grade and freshman year I started to reject God because how could God love an awful lesbian like me? I’m just now (sophomore) trying to grow closer to God again, but I’m finding it really hard. I’ve just recently come to terms with my sexuality, and with my homophobic mom and teachers, it’s hard for me to combine the two. I just need help? Thank you so much.
I’m so sorry this is your situation love, I promise it gets better. I’ll be praying for you. But I’m glad you’ve learned to accept yourself! That’s so amazing and I’m proud of you!
As for your question, I’ve had trouble with that too. It can be hard to stop seeing it as being “queer” and “christian” and start viewing yourself as a “queer christian” when you need to, to talk to God about your identity and handle situations with your queer identity within the framework of your identity in Christ.
Something I’ve learned from the @queertheology podcast (which I highly recommend) is how to do a queer take on scripture. This doesn’t mean what it sounds like necessarily, it’s not about sitting around and proving that biblical figures were queer, it’s about finding places in scripture that are applicable to queer people and recognizing that.
So for example, the other day I heard a sermon on Acts 4, which is about Peter and John being put on trial for healing a man in Christ’s name. At the beginning as I was picturing these two men surrounded by religious authorities ready to punish them, I thought of when a church leader was brought into my bible study to prove me wrong after I had spoke of a queer affirming God the week before. Later in the passage Jesus is compared to a cornerstone “the builders rejected” (Acts 4:11). Of course, I think lots of us can relate to feeling rejected. Tying scripture to your personal experiences makes it much more vivid and meaningful.
I do this with worship songs too sometimes! One of my favorite worship songs is “good good father” which starts “I’ve heard a thousand stories of what they think you’re like but I’ve heard a tender whisper of love in the dead of night”. I really love that line not only because it’s beautiful but because it reminds me of all the times people have told me my God doesn’t love me (“what they think you’re like”) but I personally know a God who does love me and comforts me “in the dead of night”. I also love any song that mentions adoption and a care for orphans, because so many of us in this community have broken relationships with our birth parents.
Another way to combine these two identities in your heart and mind is in your service! This is one of the core pieces of your faith, and serving God’s queer people can be so fulfilling! Honestly, one of the biggest steps I took in viewing myself as a “queer christian” was starting this blog, and now I get to work on it consistently and hopefully help y'all out while connecting with God! If you’re able, try volunteering at a local lgbt+ youth shelter or if you tithe, try tithing to an lgbt+ organization like the Trevor project or whatever fits best for you!
Little stuff like this helped the world in fully rectifying these two huge parts of my life together. I suppose I’m done rambling for now, but I hope this helps you! As I said before, I’ll be praying! Please remember how much God loves you and how much I love you too! Have a great day kiddo!
ps- as a fellow lesbian, I can confirm that there’s nothing awful about you nor about being a lesbian, you’re awesome and God made you just the way you are
origamiaround
titsay
turnnoffyourmind
gummygunk
